SHOPAHOLIC - Part II

… Rajkumar Hirani/Vidhu Vinod Chopra never thought they would make another Munna Bhai film when he was finished with Munna Bhai MBBS. The success of the film literally pushed him to another beautiful Munna-Circuit chemistry.

Ok Ok … I agree I can’t criticize films - I just can’t. And this blog has no connection with the film, neither its success and Rajkumar Hirani or Vidhu Vinod Chopra are not my distant uncles. Just that … like them I got emotionally swayed - but by a different phenomenon - called SHOPPING. And, here am I again …

While I am writing, I am praying that - hopefully yesterday was my last date with Shopping-Mania in Kolkata, at least for this year. Because, my fiancée who is a master of surprises - may surprise me again with another request of accompanying her thru’ the maddening crowds for that "Perfect" shade, colour, stripe/check and material. And she should know some surprises do kill.

Yesterday was different … the night before I had a nightmare. Nightmare of hordes of people trampling over me, while am on road shouting “HELP, HELP!!!” and my fiancée is unmindfully heading towards a Designer Shop. I woke up ……….. scared.

Then I finally gathered up all my courage to face another round of shop hopping in one of the oldest and most crowded shopping arcade ' deceivably named as The New Market. As I entered the arena people swarmed on me, ready to knock me off - as if I was their greatest enemy. Suddenly I started to have a feeling of kinship with all those WWF wrestlers who get thrown off the stage by a mighty opponent. My fiancée held my hands as she pushed, pulled, nudged and elbowed through the scores of people to arrive at a shoe shop. She exhaled an air of success. Well I did not have an iota of an idea ' what waited for me next. The next 1-hour she meticulously searched and tried about 2 dozens of shoes to zero on in 5 of them ' exactly matching her foot-size and ofcourse the colours of her new salwaar/skirt. She bought me a belt ' a trendy one. I felt almost like a kid ' who is handed an ice cream, while the parents gorged on tasty delicacies.

And if I thought that was to it ' I was wrong. Bloody wrong. I didn't know what was to happen in the jewelry shop. The shop was as small as a toilet of Sulabh Souchalaya. There was this one guy handling about 10 different women with 10 different choices and requirements. Till date ' I found my job hard. But, this guy was the Indian version of Super-Man ' I became more de-motivated to find am not as hard working as I thought to be. The area was humid and hot. As I painfully carried the packets from the shoe-shop and my helmet ' my fiancée joined the ladies group to find her jewelry. Another 90 minutes was pure unadulterated HELL.

The day finished with 5 more such expeditions. The best or the worst thing was that I had to smile, help & choose stuff for her, through the entire day. Ya you heard me right ' I SMILED throughout ' or else I know what it is like to tamper with her temper. I accompanied her to dump her stuff ' in her place. While returning while I said "Bye " ' she planted one of the most awesome kiss on my lips and thanked me for playing the role of a fiancé, coolie, bodyguard, escort and a Shopaholic with ultimate perfection. Do I have to mention ' suddenly in 1 second all my pains, worries, and gloominess disappeared into thin air. Ya women know ' they know how to keep us happy. And they also know how to keep on taking services from us throughout our lives.

As I took the streets to return to my home ' I lighted a cigarette. Suddenly a writing on the ITC matchbox made me smile to myself. It said ' "Those who laugh on women's clothes never bought one for them."