Its you and me ..my heart…its upto you and me my brain….where i ll end is my own chosen destiny..it is not gods wish.its not the doing of my enemies…it is the resulf of my own choice..its my own life. ..my soul you may say that it is not that easy…but my brother please remember the way we got this body was also not an easy task.till now..may however we have lived till today..but i am alive this one of our achievements..today i again have a chance……
I have to start every day .every night..every day every moment of my day..yes i dont have to be anyone big i need not to follow the steps of some great man.the steps have to be my own..the path has to be my own the path has to come from my own actions..for what the man in past did brought the results that were true to the situation that was then.Today is a different day.how can i say why it worked then but not now.? it was a different day .that was a different set of condition.yes the day has changed..the life has changed and i will live the way it has to be today.
God give me strength.for i must be a man of my own life……
- Pablo Picasso
Its more about me.Its more abut my life.Isnt my life supposed to be for me.Aint i supposed to live my life.yes i am.i will go where i choose.i will be what i want to be.O Krishna..as u had preached, let me be master of my own destiny.
i am not here to complain abut my life.I am not here to complain abut why i was not there..when the life was walking and enjoying.For i am the one who has been responsible for my life, not a master as the god but the brain that passes orders belongs to me.my life is my decision.my heart is my own blood.Life is not a literature that will be written as an obetury when i die.or a paragraph of word that my boss will say..my family will say when i die.I am more than that .just like you i am alive.i too deserve to be at the bottom of the heart of a generation ..at the bottom the heart of a girl whome. i will love.I am ..a man…and i have the equal oppertunity ..provided by god…to be as good as a human..to be as good as an enterprenour of life…no one can stop me or my heart ..from taking decision…..I have been given opportunity and i live.to be alive after my mortaliy is over……..
i am ..yes i am .a day never goes when i dont sleep saying the same 5 words to myself.My only friend my only struggle …keeps me running up for whole day ..brings me out of a dead week…makes me stand back ..after 100 steps of fall..and 1000 steps of failure..the courage that falls up again and again..and when is already sleeping in the bed of failure…it is this thought that makes it go on ..to step up on thorns..even when it can understands the term called pain.it is this thought ….i am…yes i am..
I have been always thinking of writing on this matter.But i my self had no idea what should be in there. Very difficult to know and understand…but a few days before .i met a person..my room p’s senior..he is an engg..and then i had a heated discussion with my brother why do i call so many people every day…..it gave a clear sight of the words i can frame…
we were discussing abut the enterpreneurs….and the indian working culture on whole..
.it turned out… the basic feeling is what am i about…every one says india..but every body means my family .first…Its what they say is indian culture..family .i ..india..and everybody……….and the person was like…same as every one i have ever met…. ..and discussed the matter directly or indirectly…every one says ..my family comes first .for it my development comes first..and once i am stable ..my family secure.next comes is my country…my nation and i love it…i feel like laughing over them..because this course of living life can mean only one thing..bunch of men sitting in front of tv shouting for indian cricket team ..or a man saying indian after getting drunk…or if he is really well educated ..u know the one who belong to metros..or are high rankers in the society..a really good discussion on a public or private forum ..a good article from there side..either in a news paper… or a private diary ..or a speech ..or a discussion abut india,where they will be the most hardcore indians…(one reason for it may be coz thats the only way they could satisfy their dead nationality..for never else they take a chance to be indian!) …its really a denial of the real world..the set of priority they keep are the one that are the part of life some thing that is in a cycle..and never will come to an end.and they want to keep nationality after all of these !!! Imagine a sports student saying i ll prepare for my written exams only on days when.. i wont have to exercise……life will go on family is there for ever..u grow ur family increases..life goes on family is part of life..part of daily servival..and being indian is a part of or character ..of ur blood..just as a career oppertunity never knocks …Nations development is the same.u have to work when the time is there..otherwise..it too will go away..imagine a father saying.” i ll chnge my kids dipers only on days when i wont have a meeting !!!”..as if the life will leave him an off on sundays saying..he has to change dipers….
Point is country doesn’t want you to change dipers…it already has some maids for her, to do this.It wants you give her a smile each day ..when u go to your office. It wants you to take her in your lap and say i love you ..every day.in the morning ..(just as you never forget good morning to your boss)…to every one near by u ..who is fine …and if you find one near by who is crying and you feel the smell.just call the maid to change the diapers…thats it …and yes if on ur day of off if you can really take a off..with the country and change the diaper..once in that day..it will turn out to be really great …really i mean it …but it is not that necessary..if you will just go giving a smile to the baby..and do your office work sincerely so that next day when u see the bady ..stay just a moment to kiss the kid…and take a minute in your office to talk abut her..then …you will be the best father.. son…what ever you feel you are…or you want to be….and you know what its really worth it we may not feel the difference but surely our next generations will because if you secure ur self..then there is a chance that your kid will enjoy a great life for his life time..but if you stregthen the nation…then the gamble works for generations.…Apurva
I generally dont classify by blogs ..but now a days its becoming evidenct to me that i need to. Life has so many aspects that if i ll go on treating on every thing as same than i ll end up in a mess..life has too many pictures too many faces and each is for a set of moments..and at that time if u don’t know what is importent than u ll end up griving.
Some time day before yesterday..i had a break up with my best friend forever. I sent and sms to her that if she wants to keep friends with me than she will have to call back…but there was no call.So i ended it up..it was really wierd..relationship went on there for 3 months only on phone.calls that i made any time of the day in eve ..in night at mid night at early days of hrs.3 am in morning . Calls that i only used to make.Really wierd today i think about it.there had been not even a single call frm S during this period only i used to call and she used to answer or there were occasional sms frm her..but there was no such communication from her side.And then suddenly she quit answering my calls and it all ended thats it .the story ended it was troubleing me a lot. one thing, good thing i learned frm my new job has been .that if you dont know where the bus is going or if the bus is going by its own then its better to board off the bus …
its hurting too much..to let but the truth has to be realized if the days is over then there is no meaning regretting..you have to go for the new day..and have the hope that the day will be better…..Apurva
I have been away from blogging for abut 12 days..it has been long time..for me.
i missed reading rainbow walker ..and the cools of l kini.
and missed writing my own. there have been several changes in my life .first one .
i have now moved to Ahmedabad, second i have changed my job, changed my field,
and some thing i dislike to accept..it changed my relationships…some really imp friends have left me off ..they have quit responding to me. It is really difficult to accept that change can be so much of drastic..but we have to change .
Once i reached here .i noticed several changes .. i am meeting whole lot of new people and getting acquinted with several new people. 2 things have taken my head .which i ll write in details..
the division of the indian society in the economic senareo
and the realization of really what religious differences can mean ..
i ll go in details of this as i learn ahead .
right now more abut what i have learned and implemented..
If there is a change than there must be no emotions attached with ..if a chnge is inevitable than it has to be accepted.(remember” who moved my cheese”), some times u have to let go of ur old beliefs..and again go in streets for the new world is waiting ahead and if u keep the essance of your last life with u, than u will get to learn better things ..
this does not mean that the new world only has new things..but what has to be understood is old has it but we tend to ignore it once we get satisfied..hence it is required to understand that change is necessary..and the change brings several new things in life….apurva
The day of the light,
is here with a new start,
I am here with the last,
Little sunken in the deeps,
i stand near the sun
my heart stands solid burned in weeps,
To know the little of the head
I know the little of the mind,
I know but of my heart ,
I do understand what is there in my day,