aday’s blog

I am ready to write another story, another day.

A day.

There is no end, it can never end. Bach writes: How can it even end, if it never begun. How can you feel sorrow, lonliness, when it has never begun.

Tell you what, may whatever be true, even today, i feel pain.

The pain, i felt had subsided, yes it had, but as i move ahead, my mind races faster. I used to run, trying to defeat it, but i have not gone out for a run since a long time, it has raced ahead.

Now it has got fuel, fuel to burn. Regained strength. Now it knows more then i understand, some say, the child has grown powerful. But that is ok, that is how we learn, point is the adult is now left behind in information level.

Do you know what happens, when you learn more then you understand. You have to understand more,  race is on. I am being called back on track. Track - to race my own mind.

A child who knows- against an adult who understands.

An old fight, one which decides weather i will move ahead else will fall down, else will settle up, ie a parental instruction will be created.

” There is a fight which keeps on, high on the mountains, one which decides, will i climb.”

Its Getting cold.

………………………………………………….Apurva

Hi,

Fighting with systems, is frustrating, its frustrating, if you have to keep on fighting inside your own systems, which you have to support.

Some say you have to grow up and learn living with the frustration, its stupid, even accepting such idea sounds stupendous. There has to be another way.

…Apurva

Hi,

There is an india, a nation, which still has to be unearthened. Which it is, i still don’t know.

I sat there, eating that bread. Eating it, felt may be i should back, share it with all the guys. Then, felt one thing- where is apurva. Sharing a good practice, but where is apurva. If he had come this far only to share, i would have went ahead, given it to everyone. It was importent bread. Hence i stayed.

……………………………Apurva

Hi,

Every word has a time, every word has a life, within last two days, learned- time, i and the words do not form the correct circle to express the meanings i so wished through “snow and red”.

Last entry under the head.

With regards,

Apurva

Next time, if i hear a man say with facts in hand, or write with facts printed and signed, next time, i hear a man say, INDIA Lacks. I am going to walk over, i am not going to tell him that he is wrong, i will not try to prove to him that he is wrong, i will not show him clips, i need to try to tell him stories. I only wish to walk away.
For today i believe, those man, who have taken the heart to challenge the meaning of their own nation, have done but not one thing, “left their drawing rooms and take a look at India with the eyes of a child”.

I read, I heard, but had never seen. India is beautiful.
INDIA IS GORGEOUS. I was in love with the concept, i am in love with the body, with its soul.
Its lovely.
……………………………………..Apurva

Sit and Sit,There will you find a little myth.Myth will have you,
and will have the little tutu

Both of em” will rise and shine,
one will be lost
Other smiling
will be just fine.

Something bad will come by
and a fairy will stand with thy.

That is how all do start.
some times fairy turns smart.

Tutu may stay where she start
fairy may fall in love after making her a cart.

Its easy, to change myths and all,
anyways the end remains same and tall.

you an tutu may end the same,
though the face could change,
as per the script,
name will remain.

It could be the fairy or a girl next doors,
And you may hear rock instead of diwali chores.

In the end its on and on you alone what remains,
it could be lovely fairy in brace,
or the carted tutu,
who need repairs.

But the myth will remain same and all
One who will jump in tomatoes,
 finally  and alway will be you,
either you kiss the fairy else the tutu.

……………………..Loving with smiles..
Will be out for a long time…
………………………………………Apurva

Hi,
I will be frank again. I once again went through an emotional breakdown. Normal, lot many people go through it, some say its bad time, some say, it’s her fault/his fault,  some say it comes, some say, lets marry. Well, that’s what everyone kept on telling me.

Times change- that’s what i kept on telling to everyone.  My mentor told me a three days back. But so do we.

Amazing, i still am not enought  in it to follow him, but i understand.
Yesterday, a preety lady gave her precious time at night talking me over( knowing- her parents will question again, why the hell, else who the hell).  I used to call her cute, thinking of just another simple girl.
But  yesterday, i felt, may be somewhere in the time- space quadrant, she has grown up more then me, she could understand things better then me, just the way i can feel the naiveness in others when i talk about economics, india, IR, machines. I could also sense the naiveness in yesterday’s conversations, the child was me.
I heard a lot yesterday, today sitting next to sea, trying to swim inside, i could feel the anger in the sea towards me. I could see her point.
….Though do i understand?? time will tell. Today’s time is up
…Have a good day.

……………Apurva