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Alpha

August 7th, 2010
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The sun is out there. Probably behind the clouds. Its mansoon. I am sitting here inside an office. Closed, between cubes. I don’t work here. But i am here sitting. Waiting.

I will write soon. Today could be a day of break up posts.

More from the Sands

August 5th, 2010
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Clouds are clear right now. Watching that star(still behind a thin layer of cotton). 

I love the quiet around me. No music(my partner is sleeping right now.) 
It is good right now. I know i can see a few layers of clouds just walking across the sky lane and the wind in its dimension is flowing. 
I listen to the leaves and to the  crickets playing down below. For moments, few few, i felt each one of them is supporting each other, you know. Wind making leaves rattle, crickets feeling love  call with the coolness of the clouds. But next moment i know feel them independent. Because if you concentrate. You can feel them on different beat, different sound. But then again, i sitting here or the crickets down there- we know they all matter. 
It is actually reminding me listening to a band. I love the music.
All the time, i hope we also become one like them. I mean, we Indians have a special ability we can be the best one born out there. Really! off all the players to step out there on field. Or there  trying to sing a song, or may be one cleaning that toilet. We are good. We are too good. Because we know, been taught, that dedication matters, that love matters, that .. hard work matters. Yeah! and none of it is wrong. 
But frankly telling you. the person I was talking about- the best of the best, the indian dream girl/ guy. He exists, but only for a fraction of time. It could  be an year, a decade,   month or even a second. Then he dies out. And we are the again same, but not the one we were, but the one we are expected to be. I call these- dead man walking.
A sentence written by our own hands. Only difference, we write the parade our own way (Off course assistance received).
I mean what wrong does there exist- if instead of proving that I AM THE BEST, UNDEFEATED ONE. We tried to be a little smoother on our friends, our team. and decided- we all go ahead together, we all win together. I mean- what goes, if we make our teams a family and went out there and took the world together. it does not hurt if we stop pretending, Not at all if we love the next hand. 
I mean- you played your hands correct, isn’t it. Hated all, treated everybody as a scum. not to be trusted, A mate who must rest in peace. 
Hey, grave digger, nice grave brother! so what you got. We are the winner right? Congratulations! Now what? Oh the perks. Great- it is inside the others basket.
Hmm..I got something better for you, look around.
:) 
Nice grave you are standing in! oh my! what a present you have, your own grave inside a well. Congratulations. BTW.. the one who could take you out, is 6 feet below the soil.
Wake up people, we are going no where. From one grave to another, one rabbit hole to next. that is all. You ain’t making money only loosing plus now no one likes you.. Wake up.
Probably clouds read the first few lines. The star is now behind a think cloud skin. And I look at the leaves they are still dancing, breeze still around. Crickets, they are still singing, may be it will take time. but love deserves the wait. i know.. Wait. My bags are packed. Only some stuff is left. Long way to go. Long one for me.
Good Night.. and sweat dreams..
………….Apurva 
 

A day- tip- tip

August 3rd, 2010
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How it feels to breath a dream? 

it feels heavy. If feels like falling. It feels like floating in air. The whole blood rushes to your mind. and your mind does not want to return back to normal.
Normal, what is normal. Well it does not want to accept the ground condition. A condition that for every normal fact understanding guy is understood. But  the brain. Listens to no such facts. (which it is not supposed to listen to either) but there is a part of your brain that has grown out with them all. And that makes you afraid.
I ain’t sweating but that yes heart beat is a bit faster.
Todays is tuesday and I got a stomach Ache.
Good night

A day in motion

July 24th, 2010
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Very soon, I will be writing love again. 

Hope the truth and the fiction match again,
hope the love and motion match again.
i wish I write,  more then the word again.
In Search of Dawn…the blue moon, wishing a start. 
……Apurva 

Flow inside

July 12th, 2010
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Every heart can breath,

Every heart can beat,
but the smell of breath
that flows inside the dungeon.
The smell of sweat,
mixed with the tears above the cheeks,
the tears that never will leave the eye, 
mixed but with the air,
the smell takes a shape of love,
the smell takes the shape of dragons,
The smell, mixed with the scent of papers,
the heart breathes, the heart eats,
the vapour in the air,
the smell of rain,
that falls above the forhead.
the smell takes you to places,
hearts unseen, hearts unfelt.
Yes! the smell, keeps you alive,
the smell keeps you standing and dancing,
A moment when it touches your palm.
you know one day,
 the dungeons will seize 
and a the day will be born.
with the smell of your breath.
and your pages.
The sweet smell, 
The sweet smell.
…………………..Apurva 

The garden of pages and love

July 12th, 2010
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Only two words to express the whole verse. Just like a flower’s smell draws the picture of the whole garden.
Love, a single drop of it, reminds the truth that exists beyond our daily torments, daily struggles. A moment of love letting us know what really a world filled with love could feel like. 
The feeling increases the urge to rise beyond the feelings of hate and remorse and asks us to love back, to smile back. A dream gets formed around us leading us on the road of love. Loving so that we can find the way to that beautiful garden where there are so many more flowers, where there is more loving.
I haven’t felt the same way, hating. When we hate, we do have the feel of hurting, but the urge to do more harm. Urge to search for doing more harm, it never occurs to us.
Love itself leads to love. How wonderful the poem is!
………………………Apurva 

तिनका

July 8th, 2010
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नहीं दूर समंदर, 
लेकिन अक्षर छूने से डरते है 
की कहीं कोई लहर बहा,
ज़िंदगी को ना ले जाए||
बैठे बैठे ढूँढ कर एक सीपी,
वो लिखते हैं की ज़िंदगी को 
रोकना एक धार का काम है|
कहाँ सीपी में समंदर,   
का नशा समाता है|
रोक कर एक फूँक,
समाता है
नज़र में सिर्फ़ एक तिनका||
अब नहीं पठार से
समंदर को असर,
दूर लिए दिल खड़ा,
एक बवंडर,
अब कहाँ खेलने से अश्क़ शरमाता है||
………….अपूर्व

किसने कहा सिर्फ़ एक अक्षर है

July 8th, 2010
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लिखा नही अक्षर से
लेकिन ज़िंदगी को कहाँ प्रमाण की ज़रूरत है
जो लिख गया एक बादल
उस समंदर को कहाँ प्रमाण की ज़रूरत है
पत्थर नहीं, पुकार नहीं,
हर शब्द को कर ज़िंदगी 
नहीं कविता का ख्वाब है
मैं निरंतर नही,
लेकिन जीवन एक निरंतर,
मैं असर नही, 
लेकिन बेअसर भी नही.
जो नही छू पाया एक काग़ज़,
उसे लिखा एक बादल पर,
और आज वो हवा हो गया,
छुप कर कहीं, एक कहानी 
जब लिखेगा, नही होगी उसकी एक ज़िंदगी,
लेकिन ज़िंदगी वो खुद होगा,
कितनी दूर और माझी,
कश्ती को डूब रखेगा,
देख एक सागर ओर तेरी
अपनी महफ़िल लिए आ रहा है|
…अपूर्व

प्रमाण

July 8th, 2010
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अंश नही एक अक्षर,
धरती को चूमता एक निर्झर|

कितनी दूरी से भी देखूँ,
एक जीवन को सफ़र करता एक अक्षर|

लेखनी से नही निकला,
श्याही से अंजान,
पुकारता एक अक्षर|

तैरती एक जिंदगी,
तैरता एक जंगल,
डूबता एक दर्द
बहता एक अश्क|

एक पाल, एक मुस्कुराहट,
और कुछ दूर तैरता
एक पठार|

कितनी देर बाद तूने मुझे पुकारा,
लम्हों से था इंतज़ार,
आज मिल कर तुझसे
एक सफ़र हुआ प्रणाम,
अब तेरे लम्हे
कलम से नही,
आरज़ू है, हमसफ़र हो जाएँ|

…………….अपूर्व

Freedom: the spirit of words

July 3rd, 2010
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On the bed of red,

written with the pen of light,
a world created,
created by the knights of white.
Made from straw,
the world had a lot many,
the boundaries unset,
a name alone to stand steady.
And it was written,
by the knights for each men,
to have his freedom,
to earn love,
rights to be a man.
Pages were written to guide,
but freedom was meant 
for each, within or above
the words written inside.
None above, or below the pages,
has the right or blessings of the guide,
to take away the love, the wind,
that are meant,
for the men from straw.
So each man,
walking else down,
turn no pages,
land no ear, 
but ask  your heart,
for freedom and right
right for a new start.
…………..Apurva