I was nothing, that was the truth of my life, and like all those who are nothing, when i received some value, i over drew out of it and thus I lost that little I had. The small chance that I had to get out of the rat and little people maze.
two years, I have been here among the city people, city systems and among the managed population. The best I can make out today is- it is nothing more then a maze, a maze where the people at top keep on changing the postion of cheese and that is all that happens.
The world that I experienced was out of this maze, yes there too a game of cheese and no cheese existed but it was without borders, it was not a maze. it was a live thing. but then in two years i have realized it is not easy to get out, I don’t know how to get out..I wish to, but I don’t know. How many of you know? I mean, i don’t find too many escaping out, at most I see people changing the levels of maze but I don’t find too many moving out and away.
Lot of things are moving about in the world, though I find them again wandering like mad man. I wonder what is the purpose of all those great people in our country doing what they are doing. why they are doing, i mean- how many of them are thinking long term. how many of them even understand -the consequences of their actions. but they do it. It still is better, I mean look at me. trapped in the maze.
what is actually good for a man or for a woman? so many of us spend their lives in this maze and they end up happy people. so many of us spend our time trying to break out of the maze and end up still on the floor, a few end up with a bad temper. what is better?
I will leave with this question. The post has got too long.
yes your words,
them still give me a reason,
give me a reason to write.
while the night outside,
shelters a strange land,
while the night outside,
pictures a strange life.
a touch of your words,
has comforted me again,
has guided my hands,
to a key board
what was always there,
and thus, I write.
and thus, I write again.
Hi,
life teaches me; i have tried, a good lot, to learn from people from them who are termed teachers, yet I return empty handed. everytime, i am called a failure, everytime I fail, I fall and am discredited. but then again, life comes up, faces me teaches me, i don’t measure the cost of it, but it teaches and i realize i ain’t a failure, I fall but then I know i ain’t a failure, it is just the way life is.
Yeah! I haven’t written since a long time, it reflects in my smile, it reflects in my eyes. there are a whole lot of things that I haven’t done since a long time. but each time spent like this, like- as if I am waiting for everything to end. I generate respect for them people, them who are all around me, you know the one I am talking about, the people who travel in buses or may be travel in nothing, just walk.
Yes, i don’t know what else did I learn, what else am I learning these days. but one thing is ceatain, I am gerenating a lot of respect inside of me, respect for all that is around me, respect for them who are called as - the common people. It ain’t tough to give up, it ain’t tough to take it up; but the way they live, survive and still smile, but still dance and but still cultivate a culture, a life, a living.
I am sorry, If I can’t give you people too much these days, I am sorry if I can’t write as I used to do, or take care of things that I once used to do. I am sorry, If I ain’t not the way, i was expected to be, but I am thank ful that I am able to be among you all and i am thankful that you people give me a chance to understand you, give me a chance to smile with you. and i respect you all for that. and I thank you and I thank my lord for that.
Thank you,
Apurva
When you can find no reason
come over to me,
i shall tell thee,
stories,
of people and them motivations
of acts done, when none
no reason,
no season or neighbour,
agreed,
said- no, it can’t be.
but they did.
And moved on.
of history and battles,
of peaceful marches, (in our case)
when none stood,
but them who were none, unknown,
and unknown they went.
of incidents, that changed the world.
when you can find no reason
come to me.
I shall tell thee,
stories.
stories, yes; that is what remains,
alone them walk,
alone leaving all behind.
holds a few close
them; close to feel alive.
friends no longer the beloved,
instruments to enjoy free time.
family, yes,
they are close
but the truth, bitter as brine,
only them knows.
walked past hundred,
walked above hundred,
still hundred more
to be left behind,
who knows?
a perfect life,
yes, an envyed one.
a child, a partner; one more joy filled day,
but the raven mocks,
fruits! fruits! fruits!
but where are them roots?
mocks, then flies away.
..Apurva
hi,
it is supposed to be winter, but it sure is not, temperature is high enough to make it summer.
Two weeks since the last post. right now a euphoria engulfs me, a mirage strong enough to drive me insane.
only way to get out of it is to accept reality, you are not the only one, but you are among the hundreds around. sometimes, the people you think you know, don’t even know(care) you are there.
tough, on your way down trying to hold on to a rock, which isn’t there.
no economics for today.
the disturbance around, the social issues, i will not not say, economics doesn’t play a role in it. if conditions were better they wouldn’t have come out.
but if we analyze these with gandhian principles, they were always there. hidden by the illusion of safety, they were breathing. they were there.
character building starts from childhood itself; but the world is changing, growing smaller, books are not working. we do try, but taste failure.
change, frame rules to answer their questions.
economics is one thing, what i hold dearer are feelings, actions of love, togetherness, compassion, not to miss culture, family and nation.
any resolution i make, any decision we take, every remedy we apply -will turn out to be a temporary one. Talk of us, family, society, a company or nation; a lasting solution needs backing of character. Humane persists, others rise & fall.
call it family, a project, policy or a social structure; character is the back bone. care for it, preserve it, hold it dear.
why the silence? where are the articles, i used to publish?
i am breaking my own rules, expression has been replaced with silence.
not good, absolutely not good. expression is my best friend.
since the time i started writing about energy market, i have changed a lot.
i read, read, read, formulate but publish not. every month i think, i have connected the dots, by month end, dots disappear.
hope this new year brings blessings to us all.
apurva
