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GENESIS OF SURNAME

WHATS IN A NAME?!!




A north Indian was working in Mumbai and did not meet his wife for four years
while his wife was in Himachal. At the end of four years, he distributed sweets to his colleagues in office saying that his wife had delivered a son.
His colleagues were shocked and asked how this "happy event" happened when he had
not seen his wife for four years.
The man said it is common in his part of the country for neighbours to take care of the wives when their men are away.
The colleagues asked him, "What name will you give to your son?"
The man explained, "If it's the second neighbour who has taken care, then the name will be 'Dwivedi'!
If it is the third neighbour, then it will be 'Trivedi'.
If it is the fourth neighbour, then it will be 'Chaturvedi'.
If it's the fifth neighbour, then it will be
'Pandey'."
After listening to this, questions followed. What if it is a mixture of neighbors?
Then the boy will be named 'Mishra'.
And what if the wife is too shy to tell the name of the neighbour? Then it would be 'Sharma'.
But what if she refuses to divulge the name of the neighbour? Then the name of the child would be 'Gupta'.
If she does not remember the name then?
"It would be 'Yaad-av'."
But who knows whether the child resulted from a rape? Then it will be named 'Doshi'.
Finally, if the child happened because of wife's burning desire? Then it will be named 'Joshi'.
And if the whole country had made efforts for the happy arrival?
Then the name will certainly be 'Deshpandey'.

PS………Take it as a pure joke……and joke only

~~~~~~No intention to hurt anyone.


Posted in Joke.

5 comments

By Amiya Lahiri – December 6, 2009


dA VINCI CODE

READ IF YOU CAN?

Recently I received a nice encrypted

e-mail.

Is anybody interested to decipher it?

It reads as follows:

A 9 9 2 I

n O 2 r 9 q T 9 9 W 2

2 M 2 p n I 9 9 2

. 2 I H T 9 >l i l

It is not so very difficult.

Think a little and try.

You must have got it.

IF NOT

JUST SEE IT IN A MIRROR

IT IS THE SIMPLEST da VINCI CODE

Posted in quiz.

6 comments

By Amiya Lahiri – November 14, 2009


MEN -WOMEN RELATIONSHIP

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

COMPLEX RELATIONSHIP

 

 

Husband wife relationship is very complex. Creating a life time of love is our challenge and cherished goal of everyone. God has created men and women differently. There are anatomical, biological, emotional, psychological, hormonal, neural and social differences. Men in general are more independent, dominant, aggressive, impulsive, egoistic and adept at jobs with a definite goal. Women are more artistic, empathetic, security seeking, emotional, intuitive, verbal and adept at work requiring social skill. Men are single tusker concentrating at one job at a time, while women are multitusker. Women can knit, watch T V and chat all at the same time.

 

There are many more examples of gender differences. Men shop with a purpose and it is often need based. If a man wants to install a TV, he makes up his mind which brand, dimension, available dealers as well as its price range before he proceeds to the shop. He buys, install and enjoys his treasure. A woman on the other hand may go to the mall to purchase a Saree. She roams around ten shops and still undecided about the best bargain. In the mean time she comes across a jewellary shop and enthralled by an imitation piece and happily returns home after buying it. The Saree can wait for her next outing. The shopping for her is in itself an entertainment. The response to stress is also different in men and women. A man tries to solve it and in case he fails try to forget and ignore it diverting his attention to some alternatives. A woman broods, analyses the problem, tries to find out its route cause and discusses with everyone. Finding the solution is rather secondary issue to her.

 

These differences are no bar for attraction of both genders towards the opposite sex. It can be compared to keys fitting the locks or the opposite poles of a magnet. Men like to possess woman and women surrender to be possessed by love and affection of men of their choice.

 

 During the romance stage love overrides everything. Both men and women can see only the good points of their partners. With passage of time, the high tide of passion wanes. Both now become aware of the imperfections and short coming of their spouses. It is time for introspection of their true relationship. No one in this world is perfect. Real love does not need perfection. One has to accept the other as he or she is and not tries to remodel him or her as per one's wish.

 

The concept of men being the sole provider and protector and women as the home maker has undergone drastic changes in recent years. A man is to be aware of the extra burden and stress of a serving woman. He should volunteer and happily share some of the routine domestic chores. An educated, professional and financially independent woman also needs a partner as much as a non serving wife. Sharing the same roof, kitchen and even same bed (as in live together relationship) do not make a perfect home or complementary partners. It may work when the grass is green, but will not survive during adverse time due to lack of proper commitment and emotional support.

 

I am trying to represent a hypothetical scenario of behavioral pattern of a recently married couple vis a vis married for ten years:

 

 

MEN

 

HONEYMOON STAGE          10 YEARS POST MARRIAGE

 

First thing in the morning                               First thing in the morning

Says, "I love you darling".                             Says, "Please prepare my              

                                                                            Breakfast early. I've a Board Meeting".

 

When wife shows her new                              When wife shows her new

dress, says, "You are 100%                           dress, says, "I know it must

more beautiful than the dress".                      have cost a fortune".

 

Returning from office he                                 Returning from office he

enquires every detail of how                           assumes that he knows about spent the day.                                                                   how she spent her day.

.                                                             Just say,'Hi' and watches TV.

 

He shares his hope, plan                                  He avoids discussing his hope,

and dream with her.                                          and plan and dream with her for fear

                                                                                of criticism.

 

He brings flowers for his                                  He feels buying too many

wife on slightest pretext.                                  flowers are waste of money. 

 

He does a variety of domestic                           He only does only the big

chores make his wife happy.                              jobs like lifting heavy weights

                                                                                  or cleaning of car. 

 

He gives her compliment                                   He stops doing it assuming

and showers affection many                              that she knows that he

times a day to show that                                     loves her,

he loves her.

 

He plans outing, vacation,                                 He stops doing it apprehending

cinema and entertainment.                                his plan may not be to the

                                                                                 liking of his wife.

 

He enjoys inhibited sex with her                       He is inhibited to approach her

any time of day and night.                                 for sex for fear of rejection.

 

He expresses his love by saying                       Though he still loves her, he says

that you are the prettiest in any                        that darling you could look better

dress and at all hours.                                        better without the wrinkles and

     grey hair. 

 

 

WOMEN

 

HONEYMOON STAGE          10 YEARS POST MARRIAGE

 

She appreciates the small little                         She keeps count of how much

domestic help provided by him                          more she has to do for the family

                                                                                 compared to his insignificant

                                                                                 contribution.                                                    

 

She enjoys and encourages his                          She feels it is more of a burden

overture for sex.                                                 especially when she is tired.

 

She is ready to do anything                               She feels irritated and thinks

for him without attaching                                   that his demand is ever

any string.                                                             increasing day by day.

 

She is flattered by his plan                                She is always critical of his

for outing and fun.                                              plan and offers suggestion to

                                                                               improve upon it.

 

She is happy with the small little                      She tries to gauze her degree

presents and enjoys the sentiment                  of happiness by its price tag.

behind it.

 

She discusses her routine, problems,              She grumbles and complains

worries and concerns with him.                        about their relationship.

 

She loves and supports him                               She feels her support is not

without any expected return                               being reciprocated. She is

from him.                                                                resentful for being taken

                                                                                 for granted.

 

You are so caring, loving                                   You are demanding more

and appreciative of whatever                           and more from me without

 little I do for you.                                                offering any help.

 

 

 

Husband wife relationship can be compared to a plane driven by auto pilot. When a plane flies on auto pilot it has a fixed destination. The course is not perfect. At every point on its route, the plane's course varies due to wind speed and plane's resistance. It has to make small adjustment at every point to correct the direction during its flight.

 

No relationship is perfect. If we continue to adjust and correct ourselves during our conflicts, we can achieve a life time of love. It requires compromise, trust, faith, acceptance, sacrifice, support, sharing, caring, affection and above all acceptance of the partner with his or her plus and minus qualities. Ability to discuss and resolve our differences determine the success in relationship.

 

QUOTE

“Love is more than three words mumbled before bedtime. Love is sustained by action, a patten of devotion in the things we do for each other everyday.”

Nicholas Sparks

 

 

 

 IF THERE IS POSITIVE WILL

THERE WILL BE POSITIVE HOPE

 

P S.  U r welcome to offer ur comments freely without any hesitation.

For Arvind Das only: I cannot offer any comments on ur page in the new format. Please enlighten me.

 

 

 

 

Posted in Marriage.

10 comments

By Amiya Lahiri – October 17, 2009


AMERICAN DAY

A TYPICAL DAY OF

AN AMERICAN

The American guy started his day early after setting his alarm for 6 A M.

(MADE IN JAPAN)

While his coffe pot.

(MADE IN CHINA)

Was shaving with his electric razor
(MADE IN HONG KONG)

He put on a dress shirt
(MADE IN SRI LANKA),

And designer jeans
(MADE IN SINGAPORE)

And tennis shoes
(MADE IN KOREA)

After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet
(MADE IN INDIA)

He sat down with his calculator
(MADE IN MEXICO)

To see how much he could spend today.

After setting his watch
(MADE IN TAIWAN)

To the radio
(MADE IN INDIA)

He got in his car
(MADE IN GERMANY)

Filled it with GAS
(from Saudi Arabia)

And continued his search
for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.
At the end of yet another discouraging
and fruitless day checking his Computer
(Made In Malaysia),

John decided to relax for a while.
He put on his sandals
(MADE IN BRAZIL)

Poured himself a glass of wine
(MADE IN FRANCE)

And turned on his TV
(MADE IN INDONESIA),


He then wondered why he can’t find a good paying job in AMERICA AND NOW HE’S HOPING HE CAN GET HELP
FROM A PRESIDENT

( MADE IN KENYA)!

Posted in Life.

7 comments

By Amiya Lahiri – October 12, 2009


GREETING

ALL ISLANDER FRIENDS

PLEASE ACCEPT MY HEARTIEST DURGA

PUJA GREETING

……..AMIYA……….

Posted in Personal.

14 comments

By Amiya Lahiri – September 26, 2009


SHOPPING LESSONS

DON’T ASK FOR PROOF EACH TIME………

A sardar goes to Big Bazar. He finds cat food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of cat food and goes to check out.

The Manager gets suspicious. He thinks that this sardar cannot have a cat and will probably feed cat food to his kids. He asks him to show him his cat before he could let him have cat food. The chap goes home and returns with a cat and gets to buy the cat food.

Next week the he finds dog food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of dog food and goes to check out. The Manager again gets suspicious. He thinks that this sardar has a cat but he cannot have a dog and he will probably feed dog-food to his kids.
He asks him to bring and show him the dog before he can let him have dog food. The sardar goes home and returns with a dog. He gets to buy the dog food..

Next week the sardar comes to Big Bazar with a bag. He asks the manager to put his hand in the bag.
The Manager puts his hand in the bag and immediately takes it out. He shouts at sardar, What the hell is this?! This is shit you Bastard?!?
And the Sardar calmly replies: Yes, and now, I want to buy toilet paper.

Posted in Joke.

11 comments

By Amiya Lahiri – September 21, 2009


PROUD INDIAN

WHY ARE INDIANS EASY TO IDENTIFY

We are like this only so true, so very true………….
 

1. Everything you eat is savored in garlic, onion and tomatoes.

2.. You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil.

3… You are always standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the Airport.

4. You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think it’s normal.

5. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp.

6. You recycle Wedding Gifts, Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts.

7. You name your children in rhythms (example, Sita & Gita, Ram & Shyam, Kamini & Shamini..)

8. All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere,
close to their real names.

9. You take Indian snacks anywhere it says ‘No Food Allowed.’

10. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone’s house.

11. You load up the family car with as many people as possible.

12. HIGH PRIORITY ***** You use plastic to cover anything new in your house
whether it’s the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch. *****

13. Your parents tell you not to care what your friends think, but they won’t let you do certain things because of what the other ‘Uncles and Aunties’ will think.

14. You buy and display crockery, which is never used, as it is for special occasions, which never happen.

15. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.

16.. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.

17. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible.

18. Your kitchen shelf is full of jars, varieties of bowls and plastic utensils (got free with purchase of other stuff)

19. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel
(and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes)...

20. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.

21. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

22. You live with your parents and you are 40 years old. (And they prefer it that way).

23. You don’t use measuring cups when cooking.

24. You never learnt how to stand in a queue.

25. You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or receive you whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane.

26. If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel proud to spread it at the velocity of more than the speed of light.

27. You only make long distance calls after 11p.m.

28. If you don’t live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you’ve eaten, even if it’s midnight.

29. You call an older person you never met before Uncle or Aunty.

30. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you’re talking to a distant cousin.

31. Your parents don’t realize phone connections to foreign
countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making foreign calls.

32. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them
from getting dirty.

33. Its embarrassing if you’re wedding has less than 600 people.

34. All your Tupperware is stained with food color.

35. You have drinking glasses made of steel.

36. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.

37. You have really enjoyed reading this mail - forward it
to as many Indians as possible.

I STILL LOVE TO BE
AN INDIAN 
 

Posted in Defintion.

15 comments

By Amiya Lahiri – September 13, 2009


COINCIDENCE

Pride and Joy



Four friends, who hadn’t seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids.
The first guy said, “My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he’s the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.”
The second guy said, “Darn, that’s terrific! My son is also my pride and joy he started working for a big airline, and then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He’s so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.”
The third man said: “Well, that’s terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: a 30,000 square foot mansion.” The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: “What are all the congratulations for?”

One of the three said: “We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. …What about your son?” The fourth man replied: “My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.” The three friends said: “What a shame…what a disappointment. ” The fourth man replied: “No, I’m not ashamed. He’s my son and I
Love him. And he hasn’t done too badly either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends”

Posted in Joke.

9 comments

By Amiya Lahiri – June 27, 2009


HOW SMART R U???

Aptitude Test ****

Pay close attention! There are 10 questions, so you should be able to answer them all in 10 minutes. DO NOT look at the answers found at the end of this document, that would be cheating!

Write each of your answers down, it makes a difference!(Or open notepad and type them)

1) Some months have 30 days, some months have 31 days. How many months have 28 days?

2) If a doctor gives you 3 pills and tells you to take one pill every half hour, how long would it be before all the pills have been taken?

3) I went to bed at eight o’clock in the evening and wound up my clock and set the alarm to sound at nine o’clock in the morning. How many hours sleep would I get before being awoken by the alarm?

4) Divide 30 by half and add ten. What do you get?

5) A farmer had 17 sheep. All but 9 died. How many live sheep were left?

6) If you had only one match and entered a COLD and DARK room, where there was an oil heater, an oil lamp and a candle, which would you light first?

7) A man builds a house with four sides of rectangular construction, each side having a southern exposure. A big bear comes along. What color is the bear?

8) Take 2 apples from 3 apples. What do you have?

9) How many animals of each species did Moses take with him in the Ark?

10) If you drove a bus with 43 people on board from Chicago and stopped at Pittsburgh to pick up 7 more people and drop off 5 passengers and at Cleveland to drop off 8 passengers and pick up 4 more and eventually arrive at Philadelphia 20 hours later, what’s the name of the driver?

THINK

..

THINK

..

I’M SURE U CAN

GET ALL THE ANSWERS

…..

OK……..OK……

SEE THE ANSWERS

Answers:

1) All of them. Every month has at least 28 days.

2) 1 hour. If you take a pill at 1 o’clock, then another at 1.30 and the last at 2 o’clock, they will be taken in 1 hour.

3) 1 hour. It is a wind up alarm clock which cannot discriminate between am & pm.

4) 70. Dividing by half is the same as multiplying by 2.

5) 9 live sheep.

6) The match.

7) White. If all walls face south, the house must be on the North Pole.

8) 2 apples. I HAVE 3 APPLES, YOU TAKE 2, WHAT DO YOU HAVE?

9) None. It was Noah, not Moses.

10) YOU are the driver.

Posted in quiz.

19 comments

By Amiya Lahiri – June 17, 2009


LINCOLN VS KENNEDY

THERE IS A SAYING THAT HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF. I DON'T KNOW WHETHER YOU BELIEVE IT OR NOT. WHEN YOU COMPARE THE LIVES OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN AND JOHN F KENNEDY, ONE IS AMAZED BY THE SIMILARITIES.

DO YOU WANT CALL IT JUST COINCIDENCE!!!!

ABRAHAM JOHN F

LINCOLN KENNEDY

Elected to Congress Abraham Lincoln was John F. Kennedy (Year) elected to Congress was elected to

in 1846. Congress in 1946.

Elected President Abraham Lincoln was John F. Kennedy

(Year) elected President was elected President

in 1860. in 1960.

Civil Rights Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.

Shot (Day) Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.

Shot (Site) Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.,,,

Assassin Both were assassinated by Southerners.

Name and John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald,

Date of Birth who assassinated who assassinated

of Assassin Lincoln , was born Kennedy, was born

in 1839. in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Successor Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Name and Andrew Johnson, who Lyndon Johnson, who

Date of Birth succeeded Lincoln , succeeded Kennedy,

Of Successor was born in 1808. was born in 1908.

Secretary Lincoln 's secretary Kennedy's Secretary

was named Kennedy. was named Lincoln.

Now hang on to your seat

Circumstances Lincoln was shot Kennedy was shot

of Murder at the theater in a car called

named 'Ford' 'Lincoln' made by 'Ford'.

Lincoln was shot Kennedy was shot

in a theatre and from a warehouse

his assassin ran and his assassin ran

and hid in a warehouse. and hid in a theater.



Trial of Booth and Oswald (both murderers) were assassinated

Murderer before their trial.

And here's the kicker

A week before Lincoln A week before Kennedy

was shot, he was was shot, he was

in Monroe , Maryland with Marilyn Monroe.

Posted in Difference.

15 comments

By Amiya Lahiri – June 4, 2009