akshayadas’s blog

The waiting does not end.  For me I have been waiting for a transfer back to my home state for quite a long time.  There is every hope of getting through after such a long wait.  Long hall of  7 years.  I do not know exactly how many more days I have to keep waiting for the great thing to happen.  Bring some relief to my life getting nearer home.  It is really a ordeal a middle age crisis for every Executive.  You have to take care of your childrens’ education then your old parents.  You can not always afford to move out with them and disturb their routine.  Samuel Taylor Coleridge wrote : Work without hope draws nectar in a sieve, and hope without an object cannot live. So I do not know how many days more is there in the waiting for me.  Whether It will end soon or keep me languishing with the hope of achieving it one day.

It is just three days holidays. One declared suddenly for the Municipal Elections at Dhanbad on 18.6.2010.  As a lone man staying away from family it was a short of groping darkness chasing me with the thought how to spend the three days alone.  To run for a railway ticket to board for home is not a possibility.  Lie down the whole day just in different categories of thoughts threatening me with consequences and commitments.  The commitments which I am unable to make through due to the sudden declaration of a holiday. My plan gets disturbed.  The next day being a saturday,  I venture out to deposit my credit card bills and then transfer some money home which they have been asking for.
I just pass the day visiting my blogs and recollecting the moods to post another after a long time.  It is darkness throughout even if it is a day.  It has been raining with thunder banging their heads glimpses of lightening sending its glitters across.  Still my lone heart does not agree.  I feel I must post somethings for my fraternity describing the predicaments of a lone man away from home.  This is life, a part of which has to be lived in detachment but with attachment always residing within.  We are Indians, we can not do away with it.  We have to live with the family always playing a important role in the back of the mind.  Our thoughts, our life style, our fears are all with us living permanently without leaving us free for a moment.