Of love - Old & New
Posted in my musings... on 05/12/2007 08:01 am by sudha lakhera
How easy is it for people in love to come to terms with the 'Exes' in the lives of their partner? "I am still friends with my Ex!" "My Ex and I still share a great friendship minus the passion!" "I loved the food my 'Ex's' mom cooked!". "I was discussing this with 'Ex' and 'the person' doesn't think it's a great idea!" "The 'Ex' asked me when you and I are taking our relationship to the next level!" Careless statements which regardless of the 'open mindedness' of the spouse / current partner involved more often than not cause a twinge in the heart, even if it is for a split second. In theory nice to hear sentences but practically ?
Maybe the approach of the 'Hollywood crowd' is best ' 'Ex husbands' attend as 'best man' their 'Ex wife's' wedding, 'Ex husbands' and 'Ex wives' go on holiday (for benefit of the kids!) leaving slightly 'snuffed out' current flames behind, 'Ex boyfriends' and 'Ex girlfriends' land up in each other's apartments for a little bit of hanging around (what were you thinking?). Ofcourse, Hollywood has its share of 'showdowns' but on an average they are nice 'friendly' people at ease with their multitude of relationships.
Maybe, the 'Bollywood saga' approach is best where loads of tears, some bottles of booze, explanations and chocked assurances ensure a happy ending. The sad part is that the spurned or 'Ex' lover is either of villainous intent or the 'too good to be true all sacrificing' kinds. Hate them or love them true love reigns supreme and the couple get back to 'living happily ever after' with or without the 'ex' of questionable intent
Personally I wouldn't relish my boyfriend running off to an 'ex' for bouts of 'you are my friend' every now and then. Maybe, an introduction to the person in question and being made an integral part of the 'maintaining friendship sessions' I might relent and take things in my stride! But my mindset I am sure would be 'boo'ed' by many forward thinkers ' it might even be considered encroachment of the all important 'space'. Love & lust of yesterday converted into platonic friendship today with just 'we breakup' as a catalyst is a formula I am still trying to understand!
I invite comments from - people who are battling insecurities about their partners friendship with an 'ex', people who have come to terms with it, people who put their foot down and said 'no room for your ex in our present' and the inexperienced who hold an opinion in this matter.
By the way friends, turbulence in the relationship of two very much in love people, because of a 'friendly ex' prompted this post J Just a clarification for the curious!