anonymouspoet’s blog

2.00 PM, IIT Guwahati, Chemistry Lab.

Yeah, the place where you get to know about how ammonia smells like and what affect it has on your digestive system if inhaled even unintentionally. The place where casual affairs are not like the ones shown in Yash Raj movies, but more of secluded glances through the test tube! That's how realistic love stories are! Wow ..an affair through the test tube! Indeed anything is more romantic than that! Now come on, what more do you expect from a geeky place like that? May be you can talk about the love blossoms the way neural network functions your neurons are trained to the butterfly effect in your stomach when you see the gal you have fallen head over heels for . Now don't get any ideas here, neither I was in love nor I had a crush coz according to me IITs are not apt places to find your crushes!

While working on the chemical kinetics experiment in the lab, I was supposed to use numerous apparatuses. One of them being the iodine chamber. It is like a cylindrical glass jar covered with a watch glass. I had to use it to test the rate of kinetics and the process involved immediately transferring the contents into the jar. I did the experiment with all the devotion and the moment I pulled the jar towards me I saw it!!! Yes, I saw that when I pulled the jar towards me, the watch glass remained in the air for a fraction of second and the only thing I remember is I heard the glass breaking. I didn't see it because of the reflex action my eyes automatically closed I am sure Gandhi ji derived this "bura mat dekho" thing from one such mistake .when the eyes automatically shut every time you know when something unpleasant happens! Hehehehe. Too much!

All eyes stared me for a moment. And every single one of them appeared saying oyyyyeee wo phodaaaaa!!!!!! The lab in charge was certainly not pleased tried desperately to smile but gave boman irani's famous munna bhai expression of laughing anger. After few minutes I was working with a new set of chamber and all the events happened in the exact sequence .my eyes were shut tighter this time and I realized this that I have also closed my ears spilling all the content of the test tube on my favourite shirt!!!!! No hell no..not again man! Now you know how the "Bura mat suno" thing came into existence! Another reflex oriented thought and I could see all my lab mates giggling on me and my Bengali accented lab assistant howled O Bharun Raaaz, E na cholbe! (means ye nahin chalega). I bhiill gibh u eaaaphh (read F) grade. I was in deep shit indeed! I just asked him slowly sir do you chat with any gal who has a mole on her right thigh? (That is another thing that he has been fooled by our group of friends posing as a gal and using all the seducing skills developed after seeing "Basic Instinct" of the two people whom I fooled..they lovingly told me about the gal who they were talking to and both of them said that the gal talked very much like Sharon Stone!!!! Thank god that the two never talked between themselves! It was only the graduation party where they came to know that "Sharon Stone" was none other than me :D ) Welcome to the party sir!!!! I immediately sensed that he mellowed down Are bhoruuun todo todo todne se hi to seekhta hai na hum sab hum bhi bahut todaa hai

Now these were the first two mistakes .the third is weirder one. While conducting an experiment for geotechnical engineering for sample of soils, it was required to frequently measure temperature of solution using a long thermometer. And after every measurement the thermometer had to be dipped in cold water to bring the mercury down. Now I am world famous for my fast working skills (read impatient, this is what my mom says! Hehehehe) Another lab assistant was there along with my two group members. He saw that the mercury wasn't coming down and tried dipping it in colder water. I couldn't stop myself again reflex it is you know that I recalled how you bring the normal thermometer's mercury down yepp by giving it lots of jhatkaas. I told this guy ki sir laao mujhe do main karta hoon, and even before he could utter a word I took it and a big JHATKAA and KATTTTT!!! The thermometer broke into two mercury spilled all over..and I was like ..eeerrrrr .uuummmmm. Man I literally felt like stepping on bull's shit! What face do you make when you step on shit?? Exxxactly, I made that face! And the funny thing is that I started to convince the lab guy that don't worry sir I will collect all the mercury and hand it over to you! This happens when you act extra smart! The result, next time an expensive Italian machinery's thermometer broke in hydraulics lab .the assistant was looking for me in all the hostels!!!! I didn't break that