anonymouspoet’s blog

This series consists of all those anecdotes happened during the four years that I spent at IIT Guwahati. These small incidences made my tenure a very memorable one. Despite the tormenting academic pressure and schedule, we have had our share of laughter and fun which I would like to share with you all.  Before I begin with this series of anecdotes, lemme introduce you to my friends at IITG, who were an integral part of the best days of my life

Meet Kataria .Suresh Kataria (did you hear the bond theme!) yeah he is superb at controlling man power we have had fun all the way from collaborative efforts in our exams and quizzes to doing fraudy projects together! (now you guys know why I work with Capgemini yeah the collaborative experience together, free your energies) I will tell you later in the part of this series about our collaborative efforts!

I loved the way Kataria aka Katto abused me when things went out of hand his abuses used to be very rhythmic! I wish I could utter those here

We both were so called "madly and badly interested" in Transportation Engineering and the hunt for projects used to be fun! Plus he is a die hard Ghulam Ali fan I remember we used to sit up late listening to "Chupke Chupke Raat din" and did our Engineering Drawing assignments (all about curves and elevation and plans!). He has an achievement to his credit; he got me drunk at our grad party (after several failed attempts by others). A brilliant actor indeed, check out the confused guy act in the Dil Chahata Hai spoof that we enacted on the beaches of Brahmaputra (He is natural because he is actually at times confused!) I will post the videos later as a part of this series .

Meet Uttu aka Utkarsh Saxena. The happy go lucky guy of the lot. Lived life as if its not the world who rules you..but as if you don't care who rules the world. A big foodie and has this long cherished dream of opening up a restaurant one day! I am sure "uttu's Joint" will sooner or later be the most popular food joint in the city! Watch out guys. He used to listen to all my stories very patiently. A team guy indeed! The goalie of the IITG hockey team..I am sure no one had the balls to get the ball across the goal..when uttu is here..the team had no fear! I remember when we went to Shillong on an educational trip from the department, seeing so many people puking together, he got depressed and to my surprise, didn't even touch the yummy egg curry and rice served at the guest house. Very patient guy, a perfect cushion for me while we used to lie on the bed and study for the exams! One thing about him that was famous is no body in these four years, has seen him dancing. I am pretty sure Uttu, I will make you to dance in Mandi's or Kataria's marriage!

In Pic: Uttu and Negi perfect laurel and hardy

 

Meet Negi aka Ravindra Singh Negi I remember our dreadful engineering drawing teacher being a big Negi fan! Everytime Negi used to be late for the class..that guy used to ask me where is Negi? I used to say..sir on the way! And then every time the same question where is Negi from? My usual reply..Sir, Negi is from Dehradun" So Negi, the rock star! Hit with older women!… very devoted guy and passionate too about football! Used to be up even during the sems to watch the late night matches! (Exams were always a second priority)He used to have excellent philo regarding some of the peculiar and typical gals' behavioral traits.

 

In Pic: Negi and me…buddies forever!

 

His room used to be super clean. I remember the fragrance that used to come whenever I went to his room. A "bhakt" kinda guy..used to pray and do pooja path every morning after taking his bath! Negi a guy full of life and energy! (a brat indeed, see it written on his face in the pic!) I know so many dark secrets of yours Negi, but don’t worry, my lips are sealed buddy!

 

In Pic: Khattu and Rahul…ahem ahem!

 

Meet Khattu aka Vishal Sharma yeah the part of the trio who managed to crack every exam just because their names started with "V" and they sat in the last rows. Khattu's name has this significance because of the unbearable PJs (IITG lingo Khatta=PJ) he used to utter those at weirdest possible situations! Right from breaking apparatus in the Labs to the lectures where he was a master in asking wired inquisitive questions. I remember him zooming in and out to Aishwarya Rai's pic stored on the desktop of one of the PCs in the lab. I was sitting beside him, trying to scratch my head and wonder what was he upto. And suddenly I hear him speaking to me "Yaar tujhe nahin lagta ki is bandi ko seedhe mom ke paas lejaaye aur bole, mom main isse shaadi karma chahta hoon" Oh Boy! I was staring once at the screen and then at him and gave a deep sigh and said "Jaane de khattu .tere ko usse aur bhi achhi mil jaayengi" (Khattu if you are reading this no offences meant buddy, I m trying to make you popular! Who knows you are luckier than Abhishek Bachhan) BTW the trio consisted of "Varun, Vishal and Vinay", roll nos 430, 431 and 432 respectively

 

Dude, I remember all those hardcore philo discussion sessions after you got drunk! You rocked!

 

In Pic: Lanka helping me with the sampling

Meet Lanka aka Phani Kumar Lanka or L. Phani Kumar…indeed a multi dimensional guy. Typical software geek! Though he belonged to civil engineering, his adeptness at writing codes and juggling the machine was so much that even Computer Science guys used to come to his door for help! (yeah the guy was caught in the wrong course) Ready to help even at the nth hour very caring and indeed a philanthropic guy! How can I forget those efforts you put in while helping me out to get out the Civil Engineering magazine. And he also helped me with the sampling of the "ganda naale ka paani" for my B.Tech project! Phani was actually very funny. He is a southie and still tried his hands on speaking shuddh Hindi! (used to be very proud of the fact that he cleared rashtraa, third level which is supposed to be the toughest Hindi exam out there in AP) I miss those silly mistakes that you used to make pal! Specially the goof up at our farewell party! Once this guy got really pissed off with me to the limits! (I am good at testing the nerves of people) He was very angry .and pissed off ..so much so that he shouted loudly.."Varun..saale bhagwaan kare tera SHUKRAGUZAAR ho" .I was like hello!!!! And then suddenly started laughing laughed so much so that I was almost on the floor! He sheepishly said this to me dude if you realize..you are not supposed to laugh when I am pissed off so much with you .I said " lanka, dost, can you please explain what you meant by that Shukraguzaar thing" He then started to giggle sheepishly and then said in a very low voice.. "I thought it means to get Killed" the laughter then became roars and I couldn't control my self out of laughing then! Immediately I guessed that since in Hindi.."guzar jaana" means to die Hats off to Mister Logika! he goofed up and half knowledge is indeed a dangerous thing! I know it better now!

 

So these were my friends, I just want to tell them all through this that guys you rocked big time and I am sure all of you will make it big in life! All the very best to each of you Miss you guys! Keep rocking

 

Will post the next part soon

 

"Hello Helloooo hello "

No, that was not someone on the phone, but the ring tone of my phone and the time 4.30AM, I wondered out of amazement who called up so early It was my dad .

"Venky utho saadhe chaar baj gaye hain, flight hai tumhari "

Dad and moms are like that only I guess…I am still a child for them and I just nag them by saying, mom dad, if at all I am allowed to do so I would like to go to my honeymoon alone ok? But of course with my better half…

I was still weary eyed and replied back "bas 15 mins aur uske baad I will get up, it is still too early to be up"

Ok, he hung up then, I had set the alarm for 4.45 AM and I still don't remember when my dad called up. It was only at 5.15 that I realized that dad has been calling shucks I told the taxi wala to come at 5.15 and I almost jumped out of my bed patting the cell fone as we pat the alarm clock out of disgust and disbelief that pal why didn't you ring!!!

(I remember my senior was patting his cell phone once I asked him what was he doing? He told me that since the signal strength is weak, he was patting the phone to get more signal bars, referred as "dandii" and holding the phone in way that more signal bars slip out of the phone )

I thought its over now but hell no the day had just started and there were much more events to follow .after all I am the destined one..the chosen one by the almighty for all these catastrophic series which one is this o lord

Our father in heaven

No please not me again!

I shoved my brush inside my mouth never in my life have done up with brushing my teeth this quick! Guinness is mine for this, you bet! Then called up the taxi wala guy

The caller tune "Tum to thahere pardesi ..saath kya nibhaaoge, subhe pehli gaadi se ghar ko laut jaaoge" I couldn't have heard more apt song than this one especially remembering how altaaf raza twisted and turned his head…

"hello" Heard his paan-khaake speaking tone

Me: bhaiyaa kahaan ho, meri flight miss ho jayegi boss

Taxi wala: arre abhi to 4.30 huye hain na..

Me: (paan khaate khaate dimaag bhi kharaab ho gaya hai lagta hai, bolts, nuts, screw driver in the think box!)

Me: O bhaai, ghadi thike karo, 5.15 ho gaye .

Taxi: are ayaa ayaa bas aap niche pahuncho main aata hoon 5 min me

I immediately dressed up and rushed down with my luggage .

I was walking down the incline with head phones in my ears full volume Yuvraaj songs I said to myself it will be fine now!!

But you know that it is not your day today when your society dogs themselves don't recognize you in the wee hours of the morning and chase you down the incline .which you usually take 10 mins to cover, it is crossed in 3 mins 40 seconds (the 40 seconds was made up!!) strategy pal, strategy! Specially when you are listening to songs on full volume..and you dont even realise that the dogs are barking at you…behind you…till you are able to make out when all of them bark in unision…Dogfight it is!! and then I was concentrating more on saving my ass…

Finally got in the taxi and reached the airport at 5.45 sharp .

Rushed through the ticket counter and then finally to the check in counter I was just in time

I was standing in the check in queue of the S2 665 flight bound to lucknow .and completely oblivious to what the desk manager had to say of my argument. Her eyeliner and big brown deep eyes were digressing me, and tell you what, that was the only thing that allowed me to hold my temper. Else with this bad start to a day, I am very sure anyone would have been boiling by now.

You must be wondering as to why I was so pissed off, even though I was seeing that strand, and the big eye lined eyes and a beautiful gal smiling at me

"Sorry sir you are late for the boarding our seats have already been filled and I will have to deny your boarding"

Have you ever experienced this? You wanna wash your legs and enter the bathroom and open the tap and you are anticipating that water will gush out of the tap quenching your feet's thirst. You suddenly realize it is raining and save your head then at that very moment you realize that how can it rain..as you are inside a bathroom and the thought of shower's lever being pressed flashes inside your mind and all this thought process happens in fractions of second .and it is late by the time and you are already drenched!…and look up in disgust closing the shower ya I looked up with a similar disgust and said this ..

Me: Look mam I need to get to lucknow urgently, can you please help me out

Mam: I am absolutely sorry sir the seats are full

Me: then why did you issue me a ticket

Mam: because as per IATA rules, we need to over book the flight

Me: (ya so that you can gang guys like me, who make just in time, even after this start!!)

Which is the next flight?

Mam: sorry sir all flights booked, only next morning

Me: Can I see your manager

The manager was the lady who was sitting on the first counter, to whom I talked first and was told by her to go to the other counter and in all this I was denied boarding, though I was before closing time ..

Me: mam you only told me to go to the other queue

Manager: I never saw you, never met you, never talked to you

Me: (liar liar I wanted to shout wo bhi white color ka lie!!) mam you only told

Manager: what did I tell..I didn't tell any thing

A lady from nowhere: mam I saw him, he was here talking to you

Me: (lady u nailed her bingo! You are a life saver) ya ya..yaaa

Manager: ok now we cannot do anything, the only flight to LKO is next morning

Me: Book me in!!

Manager: Sapna, can you please book Mr. Raj on S2 665 tomorrow and listen (silence . she looks up at me and smiles, raising her eyes) .don't charge the difference .

I could see the question in her eyes does that make you happy?

Yes lady you made my day today!

"Mr. Raj" I dunno why I sense this pride when someone calls me that Specially when a beautiful gal calls me that

So Mr. Raj .you are no DDLJ ka Raj okay JetLite guys don't keep a Simran handy ..Just in case you miss the flight .

I know it, I knew it for sure that the innocent-kid-in-distress look will surely work! Bingo .

the guy next to me was charged for the same hehehehe my ticket 5K and no extra charge the actually ticket price 14K..the guy was almost hating me for this

My only regret I couldn't have the hot dog that was available there yum yum!

Now the story had to end with this My cell phone flashed out in panic "Papa" calling ..I am dead now!

Dad: Venky jab hum tumko uthaaye the to kyun nahin uthe ? Ab bataao kya karoge..blah blah

Me: Papa hum manage kar lenge I have got the tickets (explained the entire situ to him) in that saif ali DCH style lekin main suno to par aap maine to

Papa: more blah blah

How could my mom lag behind after all she never misses any such golden opportunity J ya moms are like that no escapes here

I just held the phone at a distance from the ear made the most pathetic face that I could manage and said shoot ..

Mom: tumhe pata hai tumne 5 baar aise train choda hai aur ab flight bhi .utha rahe the tabse uthna nahin tha kya ..

(dhishoom dhishoom)

This one was a killer!!!

Mom: jab hum log kahin jaate the aise subhe subhe..to humaare papa hume 3 baje utha dete the bistar se maar maar ke agar 5 baje jaana ho to bina nahaaye hum log jaa hi nahin sakte the aur ek tum ho .

Me: haan yaar fone to humaare papa ne bhi kiya tha..lekin meri kya galati thi kambatkth neend hi itni aati hai aur aap ko pata nahin flight aur train miss karne me hume badaa mazaa ata hai..kabhi aap bhi try karo!

The gussa fainted away

Mom: ab kya karoge..

Me: going to aunt's place and surprising my darling cousins ..

I reach their place and see both of them sleeping the get up with a smile and chuckle on their faces arre venky bhaiyaa aa gaya yuppie!!!

My day was made!!!!

P.S. I am sure you must be wondering ki baaki sab to thike hai..lekin blog ka title kuch ajeeb sa hai yes ..and let it be a secret!

I was working in the office and I get this call from my mom…

Mom: Venky jaldi ghar aajaao, ghar me ek mehmaan tumhara intezaar kar raha hai

Me: What is this? koi kaam hai to aise bata do?

Mom: are nahin bhai sach me aaya hai aur wait kar raha hai..

I swear, I impulsively thought that my mom has invited the two cute gals living the next door….and I say this..

“Kya mummy, padosiyo ko khane pe bulaaya hai kya hehehehe??”

Mom: Haan haan bulaaya hai tum aao to sahi

Me: on my way…

I knew my mom wouldn't be so cool and considerate hehehehe, because I remember this, while we went for a movie show of Wednesday, me mandi and my mom, I had the tickets and was walking in the front, first one to enter the row…and Bingo!!! I saw this cute gal sitting there, In that pitch darkness, I was barely able to read my ticket…Q18 it was…bull’s eye..she was on Q19 never ever have I chuckled like that, specially when you have always been unlucky in any train or air journey

(no luck that a bindaas gal, ya with that strand and dimples would come and sit even in the same compartment, forget about the adjacent seat, and all that aap-kahaan-tak-jayengi conversation. It has been only in my dreams till date that the conversation would proceed to “what do you do” or “what do you like” sorts, and then finally exchange email ids. Or in an optimistic scenario….exchange phone numbers! On the contrary I have only met weird uncle and aunts..whose 15 year old kids would call me uncle…or..uncle ji would himself say this to his son…"beta uncle ji se poocho kuch khaayenge"…then the conversation would hop on to its destined fate..

"achha aap kya karte hain bhai sahab"….and I would say…

“UNCLE main IIT Guwahati me B.tech kar raha hoon…."

The response on this: Achha Guwahati ITI me?….

(Arrrrgghhhh…never ever I felt so demeaned!)

Me: Uncle ITI nahin…I…I…T….

Uncle: Achha bhai sahab…Guwahati me IIT bhi hai…wahaan admission kaise hota hai…JEE se??

Me In my heart and mind:

(Nahin uncle…mere papa ke paas bahut paisa hai aur source bhi…to paise deke kara diya hai…aur aap to jaante hi ho source se to kya nahin hota hai aaj kal)….

(Nope uncle, they accept donations there, didn't you know that. My dad has got lots of money and source as well so he paid a hefty sum to get me in there , and you also know what magic can a back door source can create)

“ummmm….ji…ji uncle JEE se hi hota hai….”

By the way…I wonder if anyone noticed uncle ji’s effort to make himself of my age ….anyways…

So…..the whole description of my ill fated luck was just to tell you that how must I have felt at that very instant! Beaming with joy I was looking at the ticket and then the gal, again the ticket and then the gal! Shuddup thinking and sit man!! The devil inside me said that…..I sat immediately without even wasting a second…suddenly I hear this known voice…utho wahaan se…hume baithna hai…I was like aap kaun????….Shucks It was my mom next to me demanding that honey…get up from that seat and u sit besides mandi and I will sit there….why mom???? no no way…don't you want to see your son happy?? no venky…18 is my lucky number..now get up! It couldn't have been a worse feeling…a feeling similar to the one that you get when you are eating the green beans ka sabzi…and you chew a green chilly…full green chilly thinking that it is a bean! I am telling you it is not very pleasant!!! …moms are always like that…I can understand….

This is what I was thinking while I was in the auto and climbing the incline to my building…and I have this full length mirror in my building’s lift (very helpful when you don't have a mirror in your house…) I set my hair right…tucked my shirt properly, wiped that screw-the-office look from my face….and ding dong!!! Mom opens the door…my eyes searching for the unknown guest…I see no one except my cousin…

kaun hai bhai…koi bhi to nahin hai…I almost said in a disappointed tone..

Mom: Arre hai na…ye dekho…she pointed towards the jute bag that was kept tied…I peeped inside…immediately a broad smile adorned my lips…ya mom..this is so cute and the disappointment vanished spot on!

It was a parrot….cute lil parrot with big eyes…and the circle around his neck…

Mom told that it flew and came in from the window and is not ready to go….so they both kept him and they were very glad…mom said that god has sent me a companion here in this city…and he is her friend..I was so delighted to see him and mom filled with enthusiasm!

I told her to let him fly back…but he barely flew..I guess someone’s pet that just flew and came in…releasing him would mean that he might be a victim of some hungry cat or a dog….We named him Tihu

Now lemme tell you about some of his typical characteristics:

He doesnt like milk…he would prefer eating what is being served for breakfast for everyone..specially when mom feeds him with her hands

He doesnt like my maid…when ever she comes he starts blabbering in a language which only he understands..

He likes green chillies and seeds of guava…and says this every morning…”Mithu bete…mithu bete…uth uth uth” and the whistles in a way that can flatten all the gals listening to it!!!

He dances when ever I play rock on songs…we take him out of the cage and he is like a rock star then..touches my mom’s feet and makes gestures….and dances again..walking like an old pensive and thoughtful man….

He is a big foodie!!! He loves maggi like me …he will catch the strand of the noodle that I give him…

He is a big big flirt….when he is kept anywhere else…he wont whistle…but when he is kept on the window in the morning…he whistles and chirps as if he is the happiest of all…

(Why not…he tries to impress my neighbours…and it was working….Man….errr…parrot..u shud train me boss!)

Above all he flirts really well…whistles whenever sees a chick around and grabs all the attention…yes he loves attention…

The other day one of my neighbours came and I was talking to her…I could see the disappointment in Tihu’s eyes..because I was blocking his way and he was not able to see…I saw that abbe-saamne-se-hat look right in his eyes…when he was twisting and turning his neck to set it in a position so that he can see the neighbour…

And then his trick worked! She came in…sat next to him..patted him on his beak with her fingers…and this guy….actually kissed her fingers….and with all that coo chi cooing from a gal.. I knew that the uncertainty of Tihu’s gender…is now clearly resolved…its a male!!!! (ya the pulsar add types) he was enjoying every moment of it..with all those whistles and sweet nothings from him which i never ever heard…it was confirmed…

I tried doing that to him…approached my fingers to pat his beak..whispering same sweet nothings…and coo chi cooing…I swear never ever I will try that…he raised the hair of his head…made his eyes grey with disgust..(I read it in ninth standard that this is called the aggressive mimicry, your reflexes act like that when you sense 911 situation and u are despo to say SOS SOS) I immediately dropped the idea of doing that…I was too confused that why couldn't I do it….and my intelligent logical neighbour explained it to me…

"dont mind…but tihu has his priorities and preferences straight…how would you feel when a guy tries to run his fingers on your lips…whispering sweet nothings and coo chi cooing"

I swear…I never thought that….ya….yaaaaaa….after all parrots bhi to insaan hote hain na"…this is what I said out of reflex

So this was Tihu for all of you…

P.S. If at all the neighbours read this…I am sorry I meant no offences Just wanted to introduce Tihu to my iland friends!

Since then Tihu is a part of our day to day lives…my mom laughs with him…she now no more complains that how would she pass her time when I am away. She exchanges promises with my darling cousins that who will keep Tihu for how many days and then return him back to each other…Tihu enjoys all the attention he is gettin (he is surely a rock star…)

..there is a sense of positiveness all around the house…and there is a sense of postitivity that I sense…in me….I just thanked god for sending him…out of nowhere…it is indeed an indication that it will be all right! Because…we've got god’s gift….

I know most of you have this initial thoughts that birds shouldn't be caged and stuff like that…even I had thought that..but it is better to keep him alive and happy..rather than releasing him to his fate’s misery…and getting him killed.

"Mithu bete…mithu bete…."

Ya Tihu I know its time for your dinner….coming……

It was this Sunday, when my mom, like rest of the mumbaikars, thought of visiting the superstore, despite my resistance (its no wonder that moms and wives are the same, thank god I am dealing with only one till now). After a lot of kich kich and jhik jhik I surrendered only to see that invincible smile on her face! Okay okay you win I am ready to carry all those bags and help you even choosing what sabzi has to be made tomorrow. I understand this confusion of moms as to "aaj khaane me kya banega" because while I was on my internship in Holland, I had to cook by myself and the immediate conversation, after the office ended, that I used to have with one of my friends who was also on internship, was "abe suno .aaj khane me kya banega be??"

My friend: abe tum bataao, roz roz hum thode hi na bataayenge!"

Anyways I digressed sorry

Ya the point I reach DMART superstore I tell you, it seemed that the whole of Mumbai has been fitted in that tiny store, it was that jam packed! Took a trolley and entered the store ..the trolley was flawed with respect to various laws of physics which I diligently learnt I will tell you later why I say so ..

Ya the shopping begins .both my sister and my mom were on a shopping spree filling up the trolley .

The ACTION: With that trolley I BUMP!!!!! That too straight into this lady's ass..shucks!!!!! I am so dead..so so dead .I could imagine myself in the court in front of the law, in front of the lady, blaming me for that so-called sexual assault .No I didn't do it intentionally .Its not my fault, the trolley’s height…no no your height…

The REACTION: She turned back .

Her face: burning eyes, fluffing nostrils, clenched teeth

My face: innocent-lamb-look, kid-after-breaking glass-look, I-am-not-guilty look ..

Hell no..I didn't do that on purpose I just prayed that my mom isn't around luckily the lady didn't say anything..it was a hairline escape! Phew

Flaw number one: It is not always that "Every action has equal and opposite reaction" it should be rephrased, Mr. Newton ."Every non-intentional action shouldn't have equal and opposite reaction" .That's it

The MORAL: Check the trolley that you take, the wheels should not be jammed because it can defy Newton's second law .as it did I applied force, it didn't move I applied more, it slided more than what was required and BUMP!!

The Law:

"Every object in motion or at rest continues to be in that state until an external force is applied to it"

In my words:

"Every object should either move freely when or should not move at all when external force is applied to it".

The results of the experiment could be a disaster!

Anyways all said and done ..I move further deliberately towards that cute gal. She was coming towards me and I was towards her, even the background music was there .ek ladki ko dekha to aisaa laga J ..and finally our paths meet .and we are stuck with our trolleys .and we face the known confusion of what happens when I move left (which is her right) anticipating that the gal would take the way right (which is her left). However, she takes her left and I take my right in that confusion only to get stuck again I smile at her, she smiles back .I leave my way, struggling with the trolley and there she goes smiling with a thank you! Yes!!!!

5Kg rice .202.50 rupees

My favourite biscuits 50 rupees

Confusions like this with a beautiful gal smiling at you ..priceless!!!!!

Just to mention here that moms and containers (ya ya the pearl pet sorts) have some unexplainable connection! I am allowed to take my favourite biscuit (cheeselings) just because, according to my mom, the dibba that you get along with that is so useful..she has already collected 5 of them! And was too upset that I left so many of them while I relocated to Mumbai!

My mom told me to wait so that she shops around and comes back, I was instructed that not to move from there .mom leaves suddenly after sometime I realise that everyone there..only aunties and gals were looking me as if I am some kinda serial offender! I just realised that I was standing in the middle of the sanitary pad section Gaawwwdd!! Bhago yahaan se why me???? Achha hua that aunty was not here..because it is said that first time its coincidence second time its happenstance and the third time Its enemy's action!

I almost dragged the trolley and myself out of the section Phew!

Standing there waiting for mom was torturous in that congested space which had barely 25 square feet of place to move around I was being displaced and stared out in disgust by every other aunt, uncles, bêtes and betis in that half an hour of wait I must have travelled at least a kilometre in that 25 square feet area!

Suddenly I get this call from my friend, ya the very ol pal whom I have thanked for the song and some pics in my previous blogs! I was telling her about all this happening there and got lost without realising that I am laughing aloud talking to her .and as I hung up I could see the whole world stop looking at me with all the think boxes above their head (ya ya similar to the ones in the comics) think boxes which had a picture of a "ground nut" and then in some of them picture of a "nut" and some of them "a pea nut" and hey here is this gal on whose toe I accidently stepped on, the think box said "a screw driver!" I rolled my eyes with raised brows with the question ."what????"

Later in the billing queue I realised this that I should have paid more attention to the optimization engineering classes rather than just writing poems It would have helped me chose the shortest line moving at fastest speed taking least time! Because you actually hate the feeling that the queue which you thought to be the shortest is not actually the shortest just because the queue on the other counter seems shorter! And then the feeling that your queue is not moving at all with respect to the other queues feels like a looser! We forget this that we aren't the only smart asses around in fact every other smart ass thinks that he will join the shortest queue only to realise that every body else is thinking that only!

"Bhai sahab aap galat jagah pe khade hain .."  An uncle ji's voice broke my thought process, I realised he was kinda rude but somehow I held back the urge to say this back "uncle pehle to I am no bhai sahab I am just 25, doosra 3 logo ke baad aap bhi meri hi jagah pe honge! Hai na ."

On my way back to home sweet home, I thought…..

1.  Laws are made by circumstances, circumstances are not made by laws, not all laws are harmless!

2. Some confusions in life are meant to be priceless!

3. No matter how fast the queue moves, you move at your own pace

"Bhaiya zara right leke idhar side me rokna" I said to the auto wala .

Thanks for tagging me summer!

1.    LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER? 

Tahaan, Awesome natural backdrops, mind blowing cinematography and a rocking donkey that can beat any mule in a race at the back of hi hands errrr legs

2.    WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?

Not an avid reader, finished Three mistakes of my life..searching for the fourth one J currently reading

You Are Here by Meenakshi Reddy Madhavan loved these lines actually "there is nothing like making love when you are cheating on someone..its just fucking" Reached till the fifth page .till I finish my business case auto is the only place where I can read J

3.    FAVOURITE BOARD GAME?

Business à when I used to have my summer vacations and had nothing to do.

Carrom à when I and my sister used to get bored of Business

Ludo, Snakes n Ladders à currently as my lil darling cousins love to play that with me, blue is my team!!

4.    FAVOURITE MAGAZINE?

Depends which period you are talking about . well I loved nandan, nanhe samraat (I like them even today) then the 18-20 teenage stuff then business stuff..what else currently India Today or any magazine on travelogues and photography

 5.    FAVOURITE SMELLS?

The smell of the temple, incense sticks, dhoop and the tulsi, nothing beats that

The known smell of shampoo and soap in the bathroom

My dad's after shave, old spice

My after shave, Brut - Musk

Smell of freshly made Jaggery

Smell of cake being baked for that sake anything being baked, I am down on my knees then

Smell of the masala and the curry yummmm .

Wet earth just after the first rains

Lakme moisturizer's faint smell when applied on the palms

6.   FAVOURITE SOUND?

 I get goose bumps when ever I hear any fighter jet taking off or passing right above my head awwww man its amazing the sound the steam engine use to make, the sound that a train makes while changing the tracks and while crossing a bridge, the sound it makes when it is speeding up

Rambling leaves, wind making guzzling sounds when it passes through a constraint, waves (nothing beats that), flute, rolling of drums, gushing water like that of a waterfall, water dripping slowly during the silent night, try listening to that .

I love the sound of the silence .. 
 

7.    WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?

1. The feeling of being cheated

2. Then when you were expecting a selection/promotion for sure and u don't get through  

8.   WHAT IS THE FIRST THING THAT YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP? 

I think of when would the alarm get off, I usually get up before my cell phone's clock, turn it off, and then think about the office and then about awwww its early else abhi tak mummy wud have shouted .venky paani chala jaayegaa..jaldi se naha lo hahahahaha

9.    FAVOURITE FAST FOOD PLACE?

Any place with friends and gud food, I am a big foodie .

10.  FUTURE CHILD'S NAME?

Pilot (This is the nick name what I have thought of )
 

11.  IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY, I WOULD

Go traveling, get my self the best digital SLR and also take the responsibility of making someone responsible enough to take responsibility of another like him/her, may be education or life etcetra etcetra money can do so many things actually! 

12. DO YOU DRIVE FAST?

Yes when ever I see an open highway, I can't resist. 

13. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?

Yes earlier they were Jinny and Jhonny (my pets) now I sleep with my pillow

14. STORMS: COOL OR SCARY?

Cool when you are alone hottest if you are stuck with a gal in that (my hard luck). Scary? What is that?

15. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?

 I had this sonic controlled remote cars, I still love radio controlled  devices

 16. FAVOURITE DRINK?

Juices: Guava, Watermelon and Mango

I don't drink alcohol

17. FINISH THIS STATEMENT: `IF I HAD THE TIME, I WOULD

     Sleep , sleep ,sleep and eat and send my mom to my relative's place so that no body is there to say venky kitnaaa sota hai ye ladka..off ho .jaldi utho warna paani chala jaayega ye dekho chala gaya na  (imagine me imitating her without uttering a word, just the lip movements, I do that everyday and she doesn't know this hehehehe) J Love you mom! hahahahaha

18. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?

Broccoli eeeekssss .stem double eeeeks .(eeekss)^infinity

19. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE?

          Assuming that I have any hair left by then I would dye it black if the need be  

20. NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS YOU HAVE LIVED IN:

Siliguri, Varanasi, Kanpur, Gorakhpur, Sultanpur, Kota, Guwahati,  Gurgaon, Mumbai

 21. FAVOURITE SPORTS TO WATCH?

           Cricket

22. WHAT’S UNDER YOUR BED?

Ummmmm .the floor, dust particles on it, my broken hair L awww here is changu (the cockroach) and mangu (the cricket) oh where is kaanta ben??? (yeah yeah the fly who loves to rub both her hands as if she is conspiring) hell no here are my specs that I was looking for so long thanks summer for tagging me..else I wouldn't have found it! I owe you pal! J

23. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BORN AS AGAIN?

          As anonymous poet, who is not so anonymous (pun intended) hahahaha

I would like to be born as myself just a small request bhagwaan ji..this time not a consultant..but a fighter pilot..I hope its not more to ask J  

24. MORNING PERSON OR NIGHT OWL?

 Depends .my insti has taught me only to sleep on public holidays J night owl when I have sum gud stuff on my lappy pending for my eye treat else yawn yawn I already feel sleepy!

25. FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX?

          Room number 207, Kapili Hostel, IIT Guwahati, Assam!

26. OVER-EASY OR SUNNY-SIDE UP?

 
Sunny side up .

 27. FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOUR?

 Butter scotch, honey nut crunch and hot choco fudge with chco syrup!

28. WHO WOULD YOUR DREAM DATE BE? 

Dates, U ermined me of submission dates of my projects, then the GMAT egaaawaad!!!

Hahahaha I don't mind dating a gal having good sense of humor and poetry and a lil bit of intelligence (smart ass, bindaas gal! with a broad ear to ear grin with a strand of hair on in front of her eyes) can you hear the music in the back ground ek ladki ko dekha to aisaa laga . J

Is someone listening hehehehe

29. ARE YOU A VEGETARIAN?

Vegetarian??? I believe in food chain a hard core non veggie .I can do anything for a grilled chicken and a hot dog! .

30.  DO YOU SLEEP IN THE BUFF?

          What does this mean?

31.  HOW MUCH DID U SPEND ON ANSWERING THESE?

I didn't keep the track of time hey that's cheating you should have told me that I had to L never mind, I am free rite now!

32.  DID HAVE FUN DOING ALL THIS?

Yes yes yes!!! Thanks Summer for tagging me.. J

33.  DO YOU THINK THIS IS THE LAST QUESTION?

I have read it already in the Tag post of others that 33 is the last question ye ye ye!

I tag Manisha Trivedi, Hellz Angel and Nitin Bhatnagar enjoy answering these! Cheers

I was pretty tired after a 2 hour update video conference call. After all I could not doze off there. Usually fantasies occupy a major part of my mind during such calls/trainings/meetings, but I wasn't fantasizing this time. I was thinking about my life, in fact life in general. Caught in the wrong job? Caught with the wrong gal? Caught with any regrets in life? Naah…nope. I went to the rest room to wash my face, could see the foam that was formed in the basin almost close to my eyes. After I was done with the wash, I still wondered what life is after all; to be precise I was looking for practical answers, leaving my poetic thoughts that come out rhyming just to make a poem rather than to find real answers logically. Amidst all this I reached for the tissue paper from the dispenser and could note that it was already pretty loaded. I struggled to pull out one trying to grasp the paper with my fingers, no success, and then tried with the tip of my nails, success it is! I realised that only half torn tissue was in my hand! Is this my answer? I thought but was not ready to take it. Chuck it I will try again, after all I can't wipe my face with what I have. Take two! Action….Tried again similar sequence of events, and this time the piece that I could grab was even smaller than what I tore last! Phew!!! Gaawdd leggo…I turned to find a tissue right beside the basin and took it with a smile of wisdom!

I was not satisfied still, the question continued to play in my mind. Life? Job? Gal? Marriage? expectations? what?

I tried to comb my hair after I wiped my face, almost whistling, and I noted the awful reaction on this old uncle peeing there, was I distracting him? naaah..or is it that he has a shy bladder, who cares! or may be he too was busy searching the same answer? sorry I digressed….ya I was done with the combing part, and one last look at the mirror, I see this one strand of hair which didn't get set. I tried again to comb and settle it and see that two more strands stood up…not again…not here and at this time atleast! Finally, got my hands wet settled my hair, managed to settle the two, but the single strand was still standing, smiling with victory, I accept my defeat dude….but still the question is unanswered or is it…the torn tissue, the smiling strand what is it?

I then switched to adjust my shirt, pulled it out a little so as to cover the belt properly, shucks…I realised that I somehow pulled it more than required or is it okay? no It wasn't, I saw my vest peeping from the hole that was created between the two buttons of the shirt. Put the shirt back again, and lifted my arms up to adjust the fit. Managed it this time…perfect! See I cant be defeated every time! I came out of the restroom…half contended and half conscious of the strand…and strolled to my bay thinking that what it is?

1. Is it the torn tissue in my hand despite the two attempts or the piece strangled in the dispenser?

2. Is it the undefeated strand of hair or the two strands that happily settled?

3. Is it the peeping vest or the tucked shirt?

Who cares, right now it is the business case that I need to finish in time. Else the manager will have different sets of questions altogether.