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Talk to self

June 14, 2011 By: archana dubey Category: Man Ki Baat

Sometimes I just avoid to write.I try to run away from the emotional flows within me.I wait to pass that time and keep away myself from the computer, Pen n paper.Its like a fight one must win but these days so many ways available u can just end up using ur Phone or so.
“Time is the remedy” I believe this and I want to apply this on me.My emotional forces through me so close to someone while its not possible for others to understand that at the same time.The imaginary world is so good if it remains in the imaginations, your dreams only.Today I woke up with a dream and tried to find out where I was.The feelings were there of the dream but not exactly knowing what had happened.
Life is going to change soon.Everything around me and everyone with me will change.A new world to face again and to prove myself again.This is the life I lead and started liking it as no other choice I have.Or I have the choice but I know where my happiness lies…. well said “If u gain something u must be loosing something to gain it and vice-verse”.
Just these things gives a restlessness a fear how will face the current world with a negativity and how would search a new one for me……………if everything destined then I think I am destined to meet the world and new people.Its just I can’t control the attachment levels.Learning being independent emotionally while I have seen so many people depending on me emotionally.Sometime I felt good about it sometimes I just got irritated of their problems but could never say no……….sometime I just laughed on their ignorance and my presence there.
I remember the Kashmiri man used to come to my house to work.His story about their small world,blood and tears.That time I felt its so good to be free.They are free but they are arrested by their own uneducated,cruel people.These things gives me solace and makes me feel I am in heaven.So many characters to write about and to tell the world the kind of life they live.But then I feel let them at peace they have their own suffering then why to make others feel n go through the same while reading about them.
See from where I started and where I am………….its my journey.A small heart used to weep for others once seen them suffer but soon it learned no use of this and let be a bit ignorant.Let them fight their battle you have your own to handle.In the small pond if somebody has thrown the stone and enjoying the waves from distance.
But till what time a small stone can effect the pond soon it will settle and calm and all the feared creatures will comeback home.So don’t laugh from distance just read the silence and the life in it.It has its own beauty and peace within.

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