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Archive for November, 2008

What does my religion mean to me?

November 28th, 2008


My religion means that God works in mysterious way and as a humble servant to the Lord I need to follow his instructions. Till date I have not received any instructions from Him inperson and hence I am following instructions recorded in the scriptures.

The scriptures explain the importance of karma. In ancient time if you did not perform your karma, you would go straight to hell. Nowadays if you don't perform your karma, you will need premium membership of naukri.com. 

The scriptures talk about the creation the universe. They say that the universe was created due to some underlying principle. After watching countless mythological serials, I am sure this is not true. All mythological serials say that the universe was created because God decided to do so. No explanation is ever offered why He decided to create a universe not a video game.

It is not that I am questioning the wisdom of the Creator. I believe God is a great artist. He created the beautiful scenery, the animals, the birds, the reptiles and humans. It's just that when I look around myself, I feel that God is an underachiever. Anyways, there is no point in discussing about the creation of the universe because it is too late to do anything about it. 

Along with scriptures I try to follow the instruction provided by those who claim to have read the scriptures. At first glance they seem to be individuals who got in touch with the Supreme Being because they were unable to find a decent job. These enlighten men tell preach me that the underlying principle of all religions is the same.

The principle asks me to establish the supremacy of my religion by destroying all other religions. Though I have a different opinion but still this principle is aptly able explain the reason behind the Christians launching holy war against the Muslims, the Muslims committing jehad against the Hindus and the Hindus burning the churches. Though I don't have courage to follow their teachings, I have noticed something important. The easiest way to get rich is to start your own religion.

To sum up

My religion teaches me that

Kill one person and you are a murderer;

Kill thousands of people and you are a paragon;

Kill everyone and you are God.

 

 

















24 comments »

Posted in Humour

Magic wallet: I put money into it and it disappears

November 3rd, 2008



It was not there. Again on Sunday evening money had disappeared from my wallet. I don’t know what happens but irrespective of amount of money I withdraw from ATM, money vanishes from my wallet. It seems there is some sort of black hole in my wallet which is constantly sucking money out of my wallet.

Personally I find it quite embarrassing to carry one of most complex features of universe in my wallet. But I can’t help it. Money disappears from my wallet as soon as it put in it. It seems, as if someone has jinxed my wallet. I put money on day one and by day three all that money has been converted into receipts. Magic!!!May be, but this trick too expensive for me to enjoy.

It has been because of my wallet that I am afraid to apply for a credit card. It is already sucking money, what will happen if it sucks my credit card too? Such an event may put me into a credit crisis.We know that the credit crisis has made some of the biggest banks bankrupt. Compared to them I am just a tiny employee. I may go bust ever before I blog amount the great time I had.

Last night I decided to think about the reason of my misery. Money has been disappearing from my wallet ever since I am carrying wallet. Unquestionably there is something wrong about my choice of wallets. I always pick up wallets embedded with the most complex features of the universe such as black hole or super nova (the size of the wallet balloons as I carry cards, receipts, tickets, to do list and etc etc etc in it).

I thought a lot to overcome this quandary. There are several things I can do such as using only credit card (discarded due to risk of credit crisis), buy a purse (will make me butt of jokes) or dump the wallet (the only down side is that I will have to carry all those cards, money and important etc etc in my pocket and losing them may cause me embarrassment along with loss of more money than it disappears from my wallet).

The only thing productive which came out from this reflection was this blog. Not bad, at least money did not disappeared from my wallet while I was writing this blog.

To sum up:

Parkinson law: Work expands to fill in the time

My law: Expenses expand to fill in income.


27 comments »

Posted in Humour

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