I am not what people consider as a boyfriend material. I am not rich, handsome, cute or gay. My friends are so confident of my ability to put off every girl I meet that they never introduce me to any girl who is single. I am unable to come up with any reasonable explanation for their behaviour. After all, there is no way we will be ever going out.
It's not that I have given up. As a single guy I don't have a luxury to say 'I quit' only because my personality acts as a handicap. This has made me go out with girls who are so cool that no one in their friend circle will question their coolness quotient even if they are seen with a dork. These girls took an exception, spend some time with me and found that sticking with norms does have certain benefits.
My love life has made me cynical because it always moves in a cycle. We both meet through a common friend, then we meet without the common friend, then we realise that meeting with or without a common friend is a huge mistake and then we decide never to meet. The problem arises when one of us tell the common friend that he/she has suddenly started ignoring him/her.
During my teen years I used to tell the common friend that he needs to do something. The common friend always replied that she has already told him to tell me that nothing can be done. I used to take this as a sign that I out of a horrible relationship. Unfortunately, in my last relationship I was not the person who asked this question.
This has made me uncomfortable. It is far more easy to tell a friend that you don't like her than to tell her in person. I have tried doing it few times, succeeded once and realised that ignoring her calls are much better option. First you don't to have reconcile her and second she is always happy because she is one who is dumping you.
I told my last ex that that we both are no more together because she forced me to say so. Our relationship was like a perfect love story. We both went out until we realised that the only thing we had in common is common friends. This made me realise that if I wished her to be happy then I had to make her dump me. So after a big fight I stopped taking her calls.
Things went pretty smooth for fifteen days or so and then I bumped into her and her two friends in café coffee day. The sight of her alone was good enough to scare me but her accompanying friends made me wish to jump in the cup and disappear. The three straightway walked up to me and took seats. Talk about poor manners, they didn't even asked me whether the seats were occupied or not.
As they ordered coffee, my ex remembered that she had to make an urgent call. As soon as she left, one of her friend asked," What happened?" There were several ways to tell her that it was none of her business. However, she was a common friend. This meant she was going to play a big role in making my ex dump me. I told her that nothing had happened. The second friend asked," Then why are you doing this to her."
I asked her back," What do you mean?" She replied that she knew everything. I told her that she does not know everything because she has heard only one side of the story. Before anyone of them could say anything, my ex came back. There was silence. The silence continued until we finished our coffee, paid bill and went into the parking.
As I took out my bike, my ex whispered to me," I don't care about you because you don't deserve me. You will be never find anyone like me ever." This is the worst things one can say at a break up. There were a thousand ways to tell her that she was not Britney Spears but all I could tell her was," This is exactly what I wish. I am not breaking up with you because I like you. I am breaking up with you because I don't like you."
This was terribly reply and I still regret it. However, when someone tells you in person and not through a common friend that she does not like you then you have every right to tell her the same.
To sum up
Break ups hurt but they are not terrible. They save you from spending time with a terrible person who hurts you.