The Policy of Undivided Attention

My First post was 'Affection' between 'spouses.'
Continuing the topics related to Marriage, here are some useful notes
from a Marriage Counselor,which if each of us follow will help us to improve the quality of our married lives. So good luck.

The
Policy of Undivided Attention-Part 1

'Before you were married, you and your spouse probably spent the majority of your
leisure time together. And the time you spent together was probably the most enjoyable part of every day. Spending time alone with each other was your highest priority, and you may even have canceled other plans when you had an opportunity to be together.

You probably tried to talk to each other every day. If you couldn’t physically be with each other, you talked on the telephone, sometimes for hours. And when you were together, you gave each other your undivided attention.

But after marriage, like so many other couples, you probably find that you can be in the same room together and yet ignore each other emotionally. What’s even worse, you may find that you are not even in the same room together as much as you had expected to be, particularly after your children arrived.

One of the more difficult aspects of marriage counseling is scheduling time for it. The counselor must often work evenings and weekends because most couples will not give up work for their appointments. Then the counselor must schedule around a host of evening and weekend activities that take a husband and wife in opposite directions.

But finding time for an appointment is easy compared to arranging time for the couple to be together to carry out their first assignment. Many couples think that a counselor will solve their problem with weekly conversations in his office. It doesn’t occur to them that it’s what they do after they leave the office that saves the marriage. To accomplish
anything, they must schedule time together — time to give each other their
undivided attention.

It’s incredible how many couples have tried to talk me out of their spending more time together. They begin by trying to convince me that it’s impossible. Then they go on to the argument that it’s impractical. But in the end, they usually agree that without time for undivided attention, they cannot re-create the love they once had for each other.

And that’s the point. Unless you and your spouse schedule time each week for undivided attention, it will be impossible to meet each other’s most important emotional needs. So to help you and your spouse clear space in your schedule for each other, I encourage you to follow

The Policy of Undivided Attention:

Give your spouse your undivided
attention

a minimum of fifteen hours each week,

using the time to meet his or her

most important emotional needs.

This policy will help you avoid one of the most common mistakes — neglecting each other after marriage. I have tried to clarify this policy for you by offering three corollaries: Privacy, Objectives and Amount.

To Be continued………..

Ciaooooooooooo