Before
start a candle light dinner
with spouse
Many couples take each other for granted and don’t give their relationship the attention it needs most of the time. The lack of closeness and connection can be overwhelming and can cause great loneliness. Make your relationship a priority in your life. Set aside time everyday to connect with your partner.
We believe that sex happens long before the bedroom. It starts all day long when you have thoughts about your partner–Are these thoughts positive or negative? It continues when you come together–Are you happy to see each other and express love and appreciation or do you great each other with a laundry list of chores, things to be done or grievances?
One of the biggest mistakes people make is that they make each other wrong. As soon as critical words are said, defenses and walls go up and suddenly that person who you love and they love you becomes an “enemy.”
Before you jump into blaming and judging your partner, stop and take a moment to breathe. Ask yourself if making your partner wrong will drive you further apart or move you closer toward healing. Open your heart to understanding the dynamics of what’s going on between the two of you. Understand the full story before you start making someone wrong. So often we assume to know what is in someone’s heart and we really don’t. Take the time to find out!
Many people go from relationship to relationship without truly healing their hearts. They never discover what went wrong in their previous relationship and what they could have done differently. They keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again and always expect a different outcome.
Everyone wants to feel understood, valued, loved and appreciated and when we’re not, we tend to either withdraw or attack the other person for not meeting our needs. If you want to be appreciated, start appreciating the other people in your life. Sounds simplistic but it really works!
If you are not feeling loved, start being open to seeing and feeling love and appreciation that people are giving you that you may not be aware of in your daily life. It may be that someone allows you to go ahead of them in traffic or tells you to go ahead in a grocery line. Send some appreciation back to them and to everyone around you and watch love snowball in your life.
After that
start a candle light dinner
with spouse
Most married people will tell you that “dating” becomes harder to do with each child that comes along. Even those few couples who manage to fit in a date once in a while can feel like they are not getting enough “couple” time.
Once you decide to do it, plan something special. It doesn’t have to cost money to date your husband or wife. You can call the grandparents and see if your children could spend the night there. Once they are out of the house, it’s time to set your plan in motion
You can fix a quiet dinner for two (make it your husband/wife’s favorite meal). Make it romantic with lots of scented candles, a nice table cloth, cloth napkins, fancy dishes and even some silk flowers.
You can plan a nice picnic for two. Find an empty field where you can go even if it gets dark (the park). Once the sun goes down and the stars come out, lay back on your blanket and look at the stars. Talk about where you both see your future. Reconnect and share your new dreams and hopes. For this one night, there are no kids, it’s just the two of you.
You can plan some dancing. If you stay home and cook, push the furniture around to open up an area for dancing. Play soft music and hold the one you love in your arms. when you get home, turn on some music and dance. If you go to a field, bring a music player. Play some music and dance in the field. No one’s watching.
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