Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers later that night.
You came home, nibbled at your food for two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore, you don’t want sex anymore or anything. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me. Whichever is the case,,,,I’m gone.
Signed,
Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don’t try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away to West Virginia together. Have a great life!
————
Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing has made my day more enjoyable than receiving your letter. It’s true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a ‘good man’ is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. It’s just too bad it doesn’t work.
Yes, I did notice when you got a hair cut last week,,, and actually the first thing that came to my mind was “You look just like a girl”,,, but my mother raised me not to say anything at all if you can’t say anything nice. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was just a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your silk boxers were $49.99…
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for twenty million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Hawaii. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you’ve always wanted.
My lawyer said with the letter that you wrote, you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed: Rich As Hell and Freeeeeeeeeeee!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this but my sister ‘Carla’,,,was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem for you.
*******
simply hilarious!!!!!!!!!! indeed sweet revenge but still wants to be together………………………………….
:)))))))))
a good revenge ….
hehehe…serves him r8:-)
Too much Man !!!! Crackjacker first class ….keep posting more of the same stuff….please…we”ll look forward to such grt posts….Bravooo!!!!!
Simply Hilarious!!
I, too, wish(like geetu) life could be so much of fun!!
I wish humor could really become a part of every divorce…….in real life. shedding tears internally and externally would have been saved……but life is not like a haircut, which can be changed.
hahahah… Revenge is sweet, at times like this its even sweeter than life itself.. and success is the swettest revenge of all…
good one lol:::)
amazinggggggggggg nothing more to say… just thinking a deep thing about it… !!!
“Born carl”??? Me no u/d. But the rest was great
gess who had the last laff
he he he …..a great divorce story i have come across…..tis cant be a real one isnt it??
lol :)))))))))
please write another story where the fault is done by Ex Wife. A……..nd the present one is sooooooooooooooo.. nice, really i enjoyed it.
good one…shows professionality in personal life……
nice humor..
keep blogging..
gr8! i really enjoyed reading this post.
very good very entertaining
great story in shorts ($49.99) hahahahahaha! may this divorce be made in Heaven!
ha ha ,, gud one ,, lol
Ha ah ha.
nice one.
Keep blogging
the twist in the tail….good one!!
Hey, that was too good! really liked it.