ballimusings’s blog

It was one of my weekly chores occurring on Sunday nights when I usually get  morphed into an "iron man" with iron box in my hand and a big heap of clothes lying in front asking me to straighten them up. Although I carry very few clothes on my regular trips to home on weekends, major contribution to that heap is from my lil sister who every time dumps entire collection of her wardrobe even if they are already ironed. And if I ask her about the logic behind this, she would say sweetly…"Oh ho bhaiya ! You don't know anything sab clothes ek dum ready hone chahiye hamesha !" Well we guys can spend our entire life in just one pair of Levi's and that too fully wrinkled coming straight out of washing machine. But I think it is little different in case of gals. So if I ask her why all clothes should be ready always, then she would give me another unbeatable but incomprehensible logic which if try to challenge, I would get another one of same sorts. Even after that if I dare to persist the argument, she will use the most common and widely used "bramha-astraa" by all lil sisters on this earth. She will call mom by shouting in that particular tone which would convey an inherent message that "Yeh dekho bhaiya mujhe fir se tang kar raha hai yahan aayo aur thoda daanto isse !" And then mom with a pre configured mind would come with all those prejudices and discussion thereafter will go against me, for sure. I am the one who always loose these sweet battles at home from two of the most powerful women in this world… my mom and my younger sister and these two women I love the most.

But today I am writing about a man who shapes our lives and keep on doing this throughout without any expectations of getting any returns for it. Dad yeah…Dad Listening to this one word makes us feel so secure, safe, cared and freed from all tensions.  He is always around us, planning for us, thinking about us, strategizing for our better future and pondering over ways by which we can grow professionally and personally. He won't tell us or make us realize while he is doing all this and that is why there is always a lack of communication between father and a son as compared to mother and a son.

Well let us return to where we were. Yup..! I was in the middle of my "mission NOT accomplished"—ironing of clothes.

I was amid the calculation that how much time it would take me to finish that stack of clothes when my dad came into the room and lay down on his bed after saying good night to me. To your surprises, that day I had set up entire "ironing" mission in his room only. He did not utter a single word like –why am I doing this useless thing in his sleeping room or till what time this light bulb going to irritate him or cant I do it in morning. But he did not ask me anything like that. He just lay quietly and equally quite was I while watching him falling asleep from the corner of my eye

Why did not he say anything to me ? Already I was so late for this activity to be done at this hour of night and that too in his room with that light bulb switched on. Some people can't sleep with light switched on, no matter how much tired or exhausted they are and I am one of them. But wouldn't this light bug dad while he tries to sleep..!I guess it would but the reason he did not ask me to switch it off or to hurry up with my work is that his son was onto such a great job. A Great job of ironing clothes in his room and spoiling his sleep.

All this was going through my mind when just out of the blue; I felt like saying "I love you Dad !" Don't ask me how and why I felt like that. But it just happened. I wanted to say but suddenly I felt that my heart beat has increased to 90/min. It was just a simple three lettered sentence which was not ready to be rolled out of my tongue. I don't know why? I have said "I love you" to mom n sis N number of times and I feel so relaxed and complete after saying that. But then, why I was feeling so strange while saying this to dad? Then another thing struck me?when was it last time I said that to him. And my mind went 1 year back then 2 years back then 3 and 4. I could not recall a single moment when I would have said these words to dad. My heart started sinking while I turned the knob of iron to HIGH. I looked at that big heap of clothes which I found little lighter than heap of emotions which were running through my heart at that time. I pulled out next shirt and simultaneously tried giving it another shot at saying "I love you dad'…But words just did not come out of me. Why was it happening to me ?

Dad lay so quietly. His face was so calm. I looked at his grey hair which was testimony to his 60+ revolutions around the sun. I started recalling my school days when his hair was much brighter like his face and when on his way to office he used to drop me till school. He had bicycle then. I have motorcycle but I don't think I have given him a ride ever. Wait ! Let me think again ! Yes I have not. This time I got more emotional and thought may be now I will be able to say it. But couldn't say so. I was looking at him just like that only and was trying very hard to say "I love you dad", when iron which I was carrying, played its part. From the crease of the shoulder of my favorite yellow shirt, iron moved 2 inch further to kiss my thumb and generated a sudden "aaoooucchhh" out of me. It was loud. It wasn't loud enough to bring those 2 women I mentioned earlier, into the room. But was sufficiently loud to wake up the man to whom from last 5-10 minutes I was trying to say" I love you' .Dad got up. I don't know how just coming out of his slumber, he figured it out that what has happened. He took my hand in his hands to check the damage done by that culprit iron. I felt warmth of his hands and found it so soothing that suddenly I felt that the pain caused by that burn had gone off. Was it a magic ? I just gave a cursory look at the wrinkles of his hands. They had stories of all the hard work done by this man throughout his life.

Dad was thoroughly examining the bruise on my hand. I thought now he will angrily say "Can't you do all this stuff in the morning? Don't you see someone is trying to sleep here?" Rather he said slowly" jayada tou nahi lagi ? Is it paining too much kya ? Ok…go and wash your hand with cold water you will feel better." He did not know that I was already feeling better. Except from that visible bruise on my hand there was nothing which was bothering me now. But again the same thing struck me. The mission was NOT accomplished yet. I thought this the perfect time to say it  but again I failed. I went out, washed my hand and came back rushing in just to find out that he was getting back into his quilt to continue what he was doing before I disturbed him with stupid act of mine?he was sleeping. While adjusting his pillow he said "I have kept burlon over there" and pointed towards far end of the same table on which I was performing all those dare devilries with the iron box.

 I gave a nasty stare to the iron box, picked up burlon, applied it on the bruise and turned back to give a smile and to tell him that I am feeling better now. But by that time, he had turned to the other side. I missed it again. Now he would fall asleep soon and I wouldn't be able to say what i wanted to.

A bit annoyed over myself I finally decided to call off that ironing activity. I pulled out power cable, picked my rucksack, stuffed all the clothes into that and walked out of the room. I sipped some cold water from refrigerator and then threw the bag somewhere in the dark. When I turned back, I noticed some light coming from somewhere.

"Oh shit .such a stupid I am " I spoke to myself. Actually I had forgotten to switch off light in the room.

I had lost all hopes that I would be able to complete my mission today. So I just walked back into to the room to switch off the light. I looked at dad while crossing him. He had slept. I thought so !. The moment I was about to touch the switch, I heard him saying. "Areee haan .! Yaad aaya…You are leaving early morning right? OK…so put this burlon in your bag right now. Apply it twice on your hand tomorrow. Kal sham tak theek ho jayega don't worry chal good night and take care .I love you."

Stunned like a statue I stood there to feel those 3 words. I felt on the top of the world when dad said me that. He had turned back to this side again, was sitting upright and looking at me. Those words were still reverberating somewhere inside me. I don't know why and how a tear rolled off from my eye and slid down my cheek. Same thing happened to my other eye. And then like a baby, tears started siphoning from my eyes. Dad was shocked to see me like that and got up from his bed. By that time I had started smiling and subsequently laughing. I started laughing loud. Those 3 words just made me go crazy. It did some kind of magic that I was crying and laughing simultaneously. Dad came close to me. Before he could say anything, I just hugged him. I hugged him tight like I never did it in last few years. Like an unplanned activity and without any special effort, words just melted out of my mouth. "I love you dad I love you very much". I felt like someone has taken off thousand tones load off me. Then only I realized that I have done it finally. I have said it.

I was still hugging him when he said "I know beta I know .I love you too".

I came out of his hug, stepped back a little bit and shouted "No I love you more than you do me". Firstly he was surprised to see me behaving like a kid, and then he laughed aloud and hugged me again.

We were laughing at the odd hours in the night and it was loud enough this time to wake up mom and sis. They just rushed to the room and couldn't understand for a second or so that what had happened actually. Then using their special feminine telepathic senses, they could make out that what might have happened and also starting smiling. All four of us were smiling and laughing.

I was very happy and feeling very contented after this. For me those were best moments of my life.

Everyone said good night to each other and I switched off the light finally. Dad started adjusting his pillow like he was doing earlier, mom and sister walked away to their room and I started looking for my bag which I had thrown somewhere. I was like a victorious colonel with a confident gait and just two words on lips "Mission Accomplished"

balli…

Date: 4th January 2007,

Time: 8:00 AM

Location: Hotel Piccadilly, Housing Board chowk Chandigarh

Venue: Ground Floor, Breakfast table.

Here it goes:

I finished my first bread toast and poured some hot tea into the cup. Till then I did not know that what this breakfast was about to offer me. While I was having my first sip of the day and was about the relish that YO feeling of tea travelling through my food pipe to reach belly, I heard this. "HI, are you from Infosys ?"

I turned back to look at the person who said those words.

"Yes, I mean this is my first day". I replied.

"Even mine is the first day. I am new to this place. Don't know much about Chandigarh as in roads and all. Can you take me along to office? I mean Saath mein chalein kya?"he said.

I could not stop myself from smiling and the reason was his innocent way of saying that last phrase. The very next moment we were friends. We finished our breakfast together and started our journey. Our journey to office journey to a wonderful friendship. From the date I mentioned above and till 12^th of July 2008 when I was shipped out of India, we spent memorable time together as roommates in Chandigarh.

Ladies and Gentleman– let me introduce you to the person I am talking about.

Yatish Aseri from Jodhpur, Rajasthan and Yes ! This is precisely how we met for the first time. On his birthday (26^th September) I thought of writing this gift for him. Hope he likes it .I can write number of commonly used positive personality adjectives for this guy but I know even then I won't be able to describe him fully.

OK…! Let me give it a try. He is one person I have seen in my entire life who never lose his temper and patience. 24*7 he is smiling (though never checked him in the night while sleeping). Very very very flexible in nature and is always "for the motion". He will never ask you regarding anything?why what where when how these words don't exist in his dictionary all he used to say to me was—"haan haan balli sir..yeh theek hai asie hi karte hain."

18 months…Exactly 18 months, we were like extended families to each other and we have number of unforgettable moments and experiences of this period. Although there are so many things and instances I can talk about but would like to mention that particular day actually night when I was like "4 down" and put this insane request of going for a bike ride to my hometown which is 200 kilometers away from Chandigarh. If I am not wrong it was half past mid night and was raining also.

Yatish was shocked to the hilt and was looking at his watch and me simultaneously. He thought I am joking but I was sure that I wasn't. Then he started giving all possible sane logical reasoning that why we should not go at this ungodly hour. But I was kind of hell bound that night. Then he made me an offer I could not refuse.

"Ok we will go for a bike ride but not to your home" Yatish said

"Then where ?" I asked

"We will drive on shimla highway and will go till kalka there we will have garmaa garm chai .ok" He said with a confidence that I will buy this.

He was right. Just after listening to this I completely forgot what I was pestering him for earlier and shouted mildly on him but with a sheepish smile " tou abhi tak baithe kyun ho yaar tum na hamesha late karwa dete ho jaldi karo ab kalka mein chai thandi ho rahi hai aur mujhe thandi chai bilkul pasand nahi ".

He smiled, and then I and then we started laughing.

What a memorable night that was and what a wonderful days those were.

Shit yaar,,,kasie bhoolenge yeh sab wasie Yatish you saved that day Thanks yaar and I am sorry for making you suffer through all my idiosyncrasies..

There are more stories and unforgettable moments like this. But I know whatever I feel like writing will not come in such a small place holder like this. I just wanted to celebrate his birthday by writing this and making it special for him.

Yatish ! Gift samjh ke hi rakh le yaar and I am still sorry for your last birthday (2007) when I was asleep in just next room and you attended calls for birthday wishes aur mere ko tou subah bhi nahi pata chalta if you yourself would have not told me that "aaj mera birthday hai balli ..mujhe wish kar do

Happy birthday Yatish. I will always cherish these memories.

Wishing you very best of luck for your future endeavors.

You Rock ..!

balli…

Halla gulla shor sharaaba Maujan Masti Tuti kashti

Khali riksha traffic signal Pal pal hulchul

Ek pal naan hain ek pal haan haan haan haan

Ismein usmein ulti rasmein jhooti kasmein

Woh jo nahi hai apne bass mein hone dena na naa hone dena na..

Day and night disco light apni apni fite . Zindagi

Chalta pahiya chal nein de,r uka faisla hone de .ek hausla

Jalti cigarette jalne de,girgit sarpatt daud dhoop

Aur kati patang uthi tarang hai berang

Jo socha tha woh mila nahi mila hai woh jo socha na tha

Sochein gehri tikki dopahri aati hai jaane ko shayad

Rail pail mein khel khel mein..dhakka mukki

Sir par saagar jaisi gaagar dhona khona aur paana

Daulat chahat hasratt aafat..

Mushkil bhasha ek tamasha..choti choti choti asha

Bann jaati hai badi niraasha..

Aas ka panchi thakka hua sa

Kachhaa vada pakka hua sa

Dabi dabi c hasrart koi chuppi chuppi c harkat koi

Bahar andar ka hai antar bhoola hua sa koi mantar

Aaj aur kal mein jo palta hai, asli nakli sab chalta hai

Chalte rehna chalte rehna, ruk kar chalna chal kar rukna

Aana jaana khaana peena rona gaana aur chilana Zindagi

Style bhi hai smile bhi hai,

Tujpe marna aur kuch karna

Baat adhuri naa jaane kab hogi puri

Kehte kehte reh jaana rehte rehte rehte sab keh jaana

Apni marzi apna sapna

Apni apni yeh majboori kya hoti hai kyun hoti hai pata nahi

Doo sasoon ki beech ki doori .

Aag dhuyaan aur paani, jaani anjaani ek kahani .Zindagi

Life is random So are we .!

Note: - It is a song from movie "Socha Na Tha"

 I don't know if it is guitar or some other stringed musical instrument which they have used to give such a romantastic start to this eternally beautiful song ' 'Dil kya kare'aankhoon aankhooon mein…baatoon baatoon mein'.le gaya koi'de gaya koi'.Salaam- e- ishq''

History tells us that there have been songs which have done wonders to creature called human being or have just made them insane to the hilt where they get addicted to a particular song. Normally people tend to listen to this kind of song 960 times when they cross that extreme stage of 'fallen in love with this song' or 'my day is not complete unless I listen to it''(figure of 960 has been calculated after an exhaustively comprehensive survey which was done at an unarticulated place with totally unknown participants who gave random answers to help us draw such an accurate figure). Trust our survey team'You gonna see more figures like this'

I have heard of mads who got entire cassette 'burnt' with just one song (which they love) so that they don't have to put their music player on replay mode or to get up every-time from their beanbags to reverse it and then play it, reverse it then again play it, reverse it'play it'to have that trance going on always. No…I did not do that to show my part of love for the song' Dil kya kare'But yeah, I left the count after it was aired to my ears, more than 993 times. I guess lyrics of the song have got the true essence' Dil kya kare ' and I interpreted it as—can't help without listening to it.
I am not saying that to admire or to feel DKK 'one should be in or has to fall in that thing called love. But surely'One has to have a lovable and caring heart which melts even at the warmth of endearingly saccharine words coming from the person you love to be with. (You are in a soup if you have that kind of heart'go'get it changed asap).

One of my remarkable expereinces with this song is—next line tells that na'ruko toh..!
DKK has done something to me. I never knew and believed that it would happen to me at any stage of my life. But it has happened. The damage has been done. I actually tore apart my new Levi's to imitate the khumaari effect of Dil kya kare which says –'nikloon main phatti jeans pehnke..Shirt ke na hosh button ke'dil kya kare'. (Incidentally I wore something to cover my torso…Thanks roomie..!)'.
'Memory mein koi jaagte sote..dil kya kare'' is a stage which is perfectly depicted by this song and gives you a kind of kick which one gets after he or she is 4 mugs down. By the way beer is the proof that god loves us and wants to see us happy always. Beer is bliss to mankind. Let me narrow down the scope. Actually it is bliss to people like me'it makes me feel like..hey hold it..have we digressed from the topic?'..is it'.? Ok..Sorry'.woh actually mein kya hai ke beer ka naam aate hi..kuch kuch hota hai..tumm nahi samjhoge'! Anyways, I was saying that after listening to DKK 'you feel like on top of this world customarily explained by phrase–being on cloud 9''(at that height you are certainly on top)

Have you ever been through that state of mind where '' raaastey bhool jaata hoon 'bewajah gunn gunaata hoon '' now this particular state is rarely achieved'.but I am sure you all must have encountered any form of this at any given point in time in your life'remember when you used to check your semester results on that notorious notice-board with butterflies in your stomach and when after seeing the positive result(few like me always got negative on that board'that's why I hate all the notice boards of this world)'you ran back jostling through the crowd'eyes searching for your best buddy 'arms wide open for that hug'.tongue dying to say'.oye'main pass ho gaya yaar'main pass ho gaya…and expecting an answer like'saaley..main bhi ho gaya'! And then after doing all those kinds of unheard, unrealistic and illogical analyses of your result and what shape your CGPA is taking finally'you walked back…You just walked to nowhere. Then, my friend'then' you must have hummed a song without reason'Definitely you must have hummed. Because our team of experts after doing a survey similar to the one mentioned earlier, has worked out a figure of 96.73%. Yeah'! These many people must have hummed. Must have not cared about where they are walking to'on which road they are'..where they are heading to''just hummmmed'!

Although, the lyricist of DKK has used all this in a different connotation depicting a totally different scenario. He is certainly referring to a situation where the guy might had met his 'princess' for the first time or is just coming after spending best time of his life'delightful 6 hours with her which are still fresh in his mind. Situations might be different, but the effect is same. Whether you have checked your result (obviously passed) or have just seen her off to her place after having held her velvety 'softer than softest rose' hands for hours'…surely you must have sung or hummed. You sang beacuse DKK says “Din bhar kuch miss karta hoon,Jaane kaise khwahish kartaa hoon”..And then, your every day every moment must have been filled with love and as charming as 14th of February'Am I right? Another logic - Just think of all those unforgettably sweet moments, I am sure you will again sing the same song which you must have sung that time. Now, this is something strangely peculiar which even our survey team failed to comprehend. So let us accept the fact that songs are not just songs'they knit memorable moments together…DKK is one of the kinds'

Apart from the quite obvious and explicitly implied reason–that thing called love; DKK has got many other reasons for which it should be listened to. Chalo I will try to cite out 4 reasons to be with DKK'.

1. First reason is my heart favorite - While listening to DKK, you are smiling. Now it is not that easy as it sounds…just try recalling the number of songs you are bombarded with throughout the day and how many out of them really makes you smile (These hot,mirchi,dhaniya,meow meow and what not FM channels are to be blamed for—see how much selfish we have become these days'we are even cribbing for things which are financially doing no damage to our pocket).DKK brings smile on your face and they say - Person looks good while smiling. Waise tell me one thing…Amrita Rao is not always smiling…Right..?.So how does she manage to look so good and killingly cute every time'God knows'.and ab toh madam “Miss Players” bann gayi hain…ITC, which owns men’s fashion brand “John Players” has chosen her to endorse their new line of apparels for women…she almost “killed” me by her new dashing avtar…ok…ok..i know we digressed big time..woh actually mein kya hai ke, amrita ka naam aate hi bahut kuch hota hai…tumm nahi samjhoge…!So, let us try n stick to the topic.

Tou main keh raha tha ke…just listen to DKK, wear a smile and be happy'that is it'now this is easier done than said.

2. There is this big list of worries/issues (my sample set is given below) which hits you in head, the very first moment you open your eyes in the morning after having played snooze-snooze on cell for more than an hour. These worries or let's say tension-ators keep nagging you throughout the day while you are filling your belly with junk or juggling with the code you wrote hastily last night or while standing in front of your PM getting dose from him/her or while attending nature's call etc. Wherever you are, whatever you do'they keep your mind occupied. Few of them are like'onsite nahi lag raha yaar'..shit..yeh main bade size ki shirt le aaya..Dada Indian team mein iss baar honge ke nahi'.. mujhe testing project nahi karna hai'.she did not reply to my last 3 messages and a mail….yeh jeans fir se alter karwaani hai yaar'.baai aaj bhi nahi aayi kya'mera PM bahut pakaata hai bhai'.iss baar appraisal mein kya hoga'.oh god ..bahar kapde daale the sukhaane ko'bheeg gaye honge' car pool is not available this time'bus-stand bhi toh sec -43 mein shift ho gaya hai'n..aaj sham ki chai bhi miss ho gayi'oh ho..Bike ki service bhi toh karwaani thi. Yaar…). The list is long and can be customized by your own set of favorite worries.
Bosss..'Why to chew all these acerbic tensions throughout the day when you can swallow a sweet pill called DKK'..Dil kya kare. Just listen to this song'.and you will get indulgent feelings like'.hey I am the happiest of all'apney mein hi khoya rehta hoon…kehna hai kuch, kuch kehta hoon…….I have no issues with life or anyone'there is nothing which can pull me down (But Surprisingly once while listening to DKK, I was literally pulled down by a 3 years old toddler from my neighborhood who brought me to her face height just to stamp a sensational kiss on my otherwise useless cheek). Anyways, the point which I am trying to make here is'.just listen to this song and you will feel differently but satisfyingly happy .Ok…Follow my prescription—listen to this song consecutively for 4 times'..do it 4 times a day for 4 weeks'.and just watch the thrill.

3. You will explore a different aspect of your personality after having affair with this song. It does not give you any sort of gyan or tips to live life aise ya waise. Rather it simply creates a fascinating but virtual ambience around you which subsequently sets you thinking. Thinking about you…Your past good/bad old days'your experiences…again both good n bad. I feel DKK stimulates the thought process to think ,analyze, probe, deliberate about yourself and finally tells you ke'arre main yeh aspect of my personality tou janta hi nahi tha yaar'.arre..i used to think that I am damn practical in nature'but I am equally emotional I guess'that's a revelation'so what is it'was I like this always but wasn't aware of this facet of my soul or this song has changed something in me. I believe that to say latter thing would be bit preposterous.So; we come to same point that DKK helps you to explore you inner self.

4. Fourth point will come from you. This is an assignment. Pick up your cell, ipod, mp3 player or whatever you have, add DKK to the list'eat it'and then come up with the fourth point which you think is one more reason to be with this song. It is a must-do exercise for you all and I am waiting for your answers.

Whatever could be the reason for you to fall in love with any particular song, all we want by listening to it, is to have a calm mind, smiling face, and shining soul, forgiving nature with heart filled with love for your near and dear ones. Oh does that sound like 'feel like god'…I guess so'But one thing I am sure of. Even if you don't get all that mentioned above…One thing is guaranteed… A smile' and that too end to end' yeah…Like this'!

So guys'what are you waiting for, get up, pick a song and be with it'if you don't find any'try DKK…it is tried and tested from last one year'exactly one year (last year, these were the days when I added it to my playlist)'so I am just celebrating my first anniversary by writing and dedicating this article to DKK for giving me such wonderful moments throughout the year'Thanks hai'over n out'!


P.S. DKK is from movie Salam-e-Ishq. Music - Shankar Ehsan Loy, penned by Sameer and Adnan Sami is the one who created this magic by lending his 'how to define-such a lovely' voice to it.

balli…