bestfriendgod’s blog

Prescription

A doctor got a call from a very excited woman,
My son just swallowed the aspirins, what shall I do?
He replied, Give him a headache, what else?

Appendix

Once a doctor got a telephone call in the middle of night. The caller sounded very excited.
Doctor, please come at once. My wife is in great pain and I am sure it is appendicitis¿, he said.
The doctor assured him that there was no need to panic. I will come in the morning.
The man protested, But doctor, my wife is really serious.
The doctor replied, I took out your wife s appendix two years ago. She can not have another.
The caller protested, That is alright doctor, but now I have got another wife!


Emergency Call

Hurry! the doctor commanded his teenage daughter, Put my stethoscope and medicine box in my car. That was an emergency call from someone who says he will die if I do not turn up immediately.
Papa, that call was not for you but for me,¿ replied the girl saucily.

Constipation

An old lady went to her doctor to see what could be done about her constipation.
It’s terrible, she said, I haven’t moved my bowels in a week.
I see. Have you done anything about it? asked the doctor.
Naturally,she replied, “I sit in the bathroom for a half- hour in the morning and again at night.“
No, the doctor said, I mean do you take anything?
Naturally, she answered, I take a book.


Don’t be Nervous

This older man was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to receive the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son.
Yes Dad, what is it?
Don’t be nervous, son, do your best and just remember, if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife.

First Visit

A young woman wasn’t feeling well, and asked one of her co-workers to
recommend a physician.
I know a great one in the city, but he is very expensive.
One thousand rupees for the first visit, and one hundred rupees for each one after that.¿
The woman went to the doctor’s office and, trying to save a little money,
cheerily announced, Iam back
Not fooled for a second, the doctor quickly examined her and said,
Very good, just continue the treatment I prescribed on your last visit.

for a change sending some funny sms’es received by me….have a fun filled day filled with lots of laughter and smiles. Enjoy and rock.

A doctor and CA had crush on the same girl.

CA going out for a week on an audit assignment gave 7 apples to the girl.

Why???

Because an Apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Don’t be disappointed if

world refuses to help you

Remember Einstein, he said

“I am thankful to all those who said NO

Because of them I did it myself.”

Napolean said:

“in my dictionary, there’s no word called

IMPOSSIBLE”

Sardar said

“Abhi bolne se kya fayda,

jab kharida tab check karma tha na.

You are sweet, cute and

an ultra dynamic personality;

You are one in a million

with a golden heart

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For more jokes sms MORE to

98202

Three steps to make your mornings beautiful '

Get up

Rub your palms

Open your eyes in the cool morning air

and

Say “It’s too early, I should sleep more”

So I opened my eyes sent this mail

and going back to sleep

Height of recession

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You swipe the card at the ATM

and

the machine says

“Aagey chalo baba .maaf karo”

Good saying

Attitude for a great life

NO Best Friend

No Friends

Or

Know Best Friend

Enjoy LIFE

No TENSIONS

Make your choice

Note: Editing or copying this saying

is strictly prohibited.

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.

The waitress asks them for their orders.
 The man says, ‘A hamburger, fries and a coke,’ and turns to the ostrich, ‘What’s yours?’
‘I’ll have the same,’ says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order ‘That will be $9.40 please,’ and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, ‘A hamburger, fries and a coke.’  The ostrich says, ‘I’ll have the same.’

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. ‘The usual?’ asks the waitress.

‘No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,’ says the man. 

‘Same,’ says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, ‘That will be $32.62.’

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. ‘Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?’

‘Well,’ says the man, ’several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.

My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put  My hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.’

‘That’s brilliant!’ says the waitress. ‘Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!’

‘That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,’ says the man.

The waitress asks, ‘What’s with the ostrich?’

The man sighs, pauses and answers, ‘My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say.’

Sending something interesting which I came across in my group mails…thought it was worth sharing.
 
Stock Market - Have a laugh while you still can.
 
1. The  US has made a new weapon that destroys people but keeps the building standing,. Its called the stock market - Jay Leno
 
2. Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are ?? Wall Street is now being called Wal Mart Street  Jay Leno
 
3. The difference between a pigeon and a  London investment banker . The pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW
 
4. What’s the difference between a guy who lost everything in  Las Vegas and an investment banker ?  A tie
 
5. The problem with investment bank balance sheet is that on the left side nothing’s right and on the right side nothing’s left.
 
6. I want to warn people from Nigeria who might be watching our show, if you get any e mails from  Washington asking for money, it’s a scam. Don’t fall for it - Jay Leno
 
7. Bush was asked about the credit crunch. He said it was his favourite candy bar - Jay Leno
 
8. The rescue bill was about 450 pages. President Bush’s copy is even thicker. They had to include pictures  Jay Leno
 
9. President Bush’s response was to meet some small business owners in San Antonio last week. The small business owners are General Motors, General Electric and Century 21. - Jay Leno
 
10. What worries me most about the credit crunch, is that if one of my cheques is returned stamped ‘insufficient   funds’.  I  won’t know whether that refers to mine or the bank’s.
 
NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS
 
CEO –Chief Embezzlement Officer. 
  
CFO – Corporate Fraud Officer. 
  
BULL MARKET – A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. 
 
BEAR MARKET – A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry. 
 
VALUE INVESTING – The art of buying low and selling lower. 
  
P/E RATIO – The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing. 
 
BROKER – What my broker has made me. 
  
STANDARD & POOR – Your life in a nutshell. 
  
STOCK ANALYST – Idiot who just downgraded your stock. 
  
STOCK SPLIT – When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves. 
  
FINANCIAL PLANNER – A guy whose phone has been disconnected. 
  
MARKET CORRECTION – The day after you buy stocks.
 
CASH FLOW – The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet. 
  
YAHOO – What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share. 
  
WINDOWS – What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share. 
  
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR – Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse. 
  
PROFIT – An archaic word no longer in use.


A friend 4 ever
Always take extra care of 3 things
in LIFE
a) TRUST
b) PROMISE &
c) RELATION.
Becoz they don’t make noise when they break.

These fit so well they should be in a dictionary.

ADULT: 

A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS: 
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE:

A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST: 
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST: 
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF: 
Cold Storage.

INFLATION: 
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET: 
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON: 
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off..

TOOTHACHE:

The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN: 
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES:
Something other people have, similar to my character lines

Hi

For the last few days I have been using my computer continously reading mails, blogs, comments, sending mails, putting up blog, replying to mails and doing my work too……….this is what happened to my cursor(just click on the link or just copy paste on to your browser window and you will see……..how my cursor got overheated)

http://www.flamingcursor.com/