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Archive for the ‘Love’

Don’t turn love into relationship

December 11, 2007 By: Category: Love

Love comes like a strong breeze and carries away two lovers to unknown dimensions. Lovers go through an experience peak and then need to settle down. In the process, they start feeling bored, craving the same peak yet again and again. When they don”t reach it, they feel frustrated and fall into the ditch of misery.

Peaks in love are experienced when lovers open their wings to fly high into the sky together. There”s a whole sky of freedom and togetherness that they feel in each other”s company. But the moment they start clinging to each other and suppress freedom, love falls into an abysmal valley of misery. Then they wonder what happened to their love! The clinging starts clipping their wings, killing their love.

True love is unconditional, and based on an individual”s freedom. Two persons can be very loving together. The more loving they are, the lower the possibility of any relationship. The more loving they are, the greater the freedom between them. The more loving they are, the thinner the prospect of any demand, domination, expectation. Naturally then, there is no question of frustration.

Remember this: Don”t have any expectations. Love because love is your own inner growth. When you love, you call your spring of growth closer. Your love will help you grow towards more light, more truth, more freedom. Love but don”t ever create a relationship!

A relationship is a part of the business world. A slight change in the situation, and it evaporates. It has no solidity. If love comes spontaneously, suddenly, like a fountain, asking for nothing in return, then it is one of the greatest treasures. Love is a fire. The purer it is, the better it burns all riddles, all problems. But love as a relationship creates problems, riddled with all sorts of undesirable things.

Remember this: Love is capable of destroying everything else, just don”t let it become a relationship. If you do, love will disappear and in its place will come politics and manipulation. Then, your problems will only increase.

Osho says: “I am against all kinds of relationships. For example, I don”t like the word “friendship” but I love the word “friendliness”. Friendliness is a quality within you; friendship becomes a burdensome relationship.”

Osho elaborates: “Friendship is a relationship. You can be in that relationship with a few people. Friendliness is a quality, not a relationship. It has nothing to do with anybody else. It is basically your inner quality. You can be friendly with many, many people. You can be friendly even when you are alone. You cannot be in friendship when you are alone-the other is needed-but friendliness is a kind of fragrance. A flower blooms; nobody passes by, yet it is fragrant. It matters not whether anyone comes to know of it; being fragrant is its quality.”

Comments (21)

Is marriage really the end of love

December 08, 2007 By: Category: Love

Hi
The earlier article spoke about how one should learn to love oneself. This one speaks of whether marriage is really the end of love. Read if and see if

Socrates had a quarrelsome wife but when disciples asked him whether they should marry, he always advised them to. “If you are fortunate you”ll get a good wife. If you get a wife like mine, you”ll still be fortunate as she will help you become Socrates!”

But people like Socrates are rare. Most men cannot handle the misery, and either escape or get frustrated. The same goes for women as well. In her marriage, a woman may find the most terrible person who makes life hell for her. In fact, in most Indian marriages, women suffer more than men. What is the way out of this misery?

German politician Gabriele Pauli recently proposed that marriage contracts should be valid for seven years; after that couples who didn”t feel the proverbial itch could renew them, else walk away. This may sound radical but it isn”t.

People are divorcing faster today and most of the marriages in the so-called first world don”t last more than three years. Those that last have little life in them.

Love is like a real flower. It doesn”t live longer than it”s meant to. But when love is converted into marriage, it starts to lose its tenderness. It acquires a plastic nature; plastic lives for as long as you wish it to but doesn”t pulsate with life.

Love, like life, is always insecure. It cannot promise to be forever. That”s why it is really very precious. One moment of real love is more valuable than an eternity of plastic life. But most people with deep insecurities go for a plastic marriage rather than wait for the real throbbing life of love, for they are scared to live alone.

Osho calls marriage the a “coffin of love”. He says: “They all say that love is eternal, never dies. Absolutely wrong. Real love dies sooner than unreal love. Unreal love can live long; it is unreal, how can it die? If you are pretending, you can pretend as long as you want to.”

Osho also tells us: “Love needs only one thing, and that is courage. Courage to die into the other, to drop your own identity, your ego. Millions have decided not to love, but then life is misery, life is hell.”

“If one really wants to live, one must be ready for insecurity, and love brings the greatest insecurity in the world because love cannot promise tomorrow. Love is of the moment, for the moment, in the moment. Love can only speak for this moment, not for the next; the next remains open, vulnerable, insecure.” “Love may be, may not be. Love has no guarantee whatsoever.

Which is why people choose marriage over love. Marriage is secure and safe, guaranteed by the law and the government and the society and the church-something they can depend upon. But in that very choice they commit suicide for they will never really live.”

“Life itself is insecure. Life knows nothing of security. Death is very secure, so those who are cowardly choose death instead of life. They choose the false and the plastic instead of the real. And those who are courageous, they choose the real. They go with it, wherever it may lead. They surrender to it. They are ready to go into the uncharted and the unknown and the unseen.” And they truly live…

WORDS OF WISDOM

“Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry.” - Tom Mullen, author.

“Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets.” - Ogden Nash, author & poet.

Comments (16)

Love Yourself

December 08, 2007 By: Category: Love

Relationships are how we relate to others. We have a relationship with everyone that we know and who is close to us. This is not reserved for our family or someone who we are involved with. Every interaction we have with another is the act of relating. If we have a problem relating to others, this affects our ability to have supportive relationships. We have to ask ourselves if our relationships are supportive and if they are not, then ask ourselves why they are not. Everyone wants the perfect romance or marriage, but not everyone looks at the mechanics of how to have one. If we fail to have supportive relationships in our life, how can we have the perfect relationship?

Let”s look at what is a supportive relationship. The word support is very important. It means that our interaction supports another. This means more than supporting another in their decisions or actions, rather through the act of supporting, we honour and validate who the other person is. In turn, this validates who we are. Both are supported, no one loses, no ego”s involved, and in so doing, we honour the relationship. This is what it means to have a supportive relationship. This is the desired goal. Now, how do we accomplish it?

There are several reasons why we may have problems relating to others. One primary reason is our behavioural patterns. These patterns are developed over a course of our lives. It starts when we are children, through to our adolescence, and by the time we are adults, we have established our behavioural patterns for our relationships. We can have both positive and negative behavioural patterns. What causes negative behavioural patterns? If we look at a person”s life, we can readily see which is negative or positive behaviour. But we may not easily see the cause of the negative.

The cause usually resides in the past in which a trauma or an event occurred that effects how we behave in the future. If that event occurs again, or if something happens currently to cause us to experience that trauma again, that is when we respond to it. Situations can act as triggers, which may cause us to react to the person that is involved in the situation. This causes a negative behavioural pattern. Until we can identify the problem, we are powerless to do anything about it. Whatever the situation was to trigger a reactionary response, the cause must be discovered in order to heal the original fracture. In Shamanism terms this is called a Soul Fracture. A fracture of the Self. Each self is part of the whole which comprises the soul. Soul Fractures occur for a variety of reasonsand may or may not relate to this current lifetime. Traumas have occurred in past lifetimes that may or may not have been addressed. The Soul holds the body of these life experiences. Furthermore, the life process itself can be very painful for some. Past experiences that have dishonoured, or invalidated who we are, cause us to close ourself off even more. These experiences build up with time and unless a clearing occurs, emotional or physical problems may develop.

If a problem has been identified, what can we do about it? One can try to clear it themselves, or one can go to a practioner who is adept at doing clearings. In order to clear, one must identify the cause that created a behavioural pattern. Then, move through the experience of that situation, and experience the emotions that associated with it. Then, we must have closure. This means completing it anyway. We should have a sense of completion.

So, after we have identified the cause and received closure or completion, then we let it go. This does not mean to forgive or forget, that is not what it is to release. The act of releasing is our readiness to heal. Only after the experience has cleared can healing occur.

The healing process is a time when we must be very loving to ourself. If we beat up ourself about the experience that had caused us harm or our past reaction to it, then we cannot heal. In being loving to ourself, we validate what we had experienced at that time and our emotions for it. Our emotions are always valid. So it”s important for us to do this self validation in order to heal.

Love is the energy that helps us to heal, whether we give this love to ourselves, or we receive it from another. When we look at having loving relationships in our life, why not start with ourself? Because that is where love comes from. This is what transforms our relationships and our lives. We must love the self first. And we cannot do that until we have healed and become whole.

Comments (5)

Nice one

December 05, 2007 By: Category: Love

It was a busy morning, approximately 8.30 a.m. when an elderly gentleman, in his 80’s, arrived to have some stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9.00 a.m. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On examing the wound I saw that it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, we engaged in conversation. I asked if he had another doctor’s appointment because he was in such a hurry.

He replied, “No,; he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. He told me that she had been there for awhile and that she was a victim of Alzheimers. As I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she would be worried if he was late.

He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him. “And you still go every morning, even though she doesn’t know who you are?

He smiled as he patted my hand and said……..“she doesn’t know me, but i still know who she is.”

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps, and thought, That is the kind of love I want in my life.”

True love is neither physical, nor romantic..

True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be and will not be.

Comments (6)

Diwali Wishes - 3

November 09, 2007 By: Category: Love

::::: ::::: DEAR ALL, ::::: :::::

A warm Diwali wish for every happiness. May the warmth and splendor, that are a part of this auspicious occasion, fill your life with happiness and bright cheer, and bring to you joy and prosperity, for the whole year.

May this Deepavali, all the shadows of darkness be merge into the brightnes, all your sorrows be turn into happiness, all your health, wealth & peace of mind are on high. I wish you a very happy deepavali & prosperous new year !!

May This Diwali be as bright as ever.

May this Diwali bring joy, health and wealth to you.

May the festival of lights brighten up you and your near and dear ones lives.
May this Diwali bring in u the most brightest and choicest happiness and love you have ever Wished for.

May this Diwali bring you the utmost in peace and prosperity.
May lights triumph over darkness.

May peace transcend the earth.
May the spirit of light illuminate the world.

May the light that we celebrate at Diwali show us the way and lead us together on the path of peace and social harmony.

********************************************************

************************************************************************

Happy Diwali

May the gleams of lights of

Diwali enlighten your world

May the spirit of festivity

infuse you with the blessing.

May Godess Lakshmi shower

her blessings on you.

*****************************************

Comments (3)

Tomorrow never dies

October 02, 2007 By: Category: Love

Life is journey of millennia, which knows no destination, except mystery. There”s awesome silence soaring deep down until one fine day some of us realize that we are getting attracted to some beautiful stranger. And all our saved up wishes starts coming out. Our eyes looks brighter in the presence of that beautiful stranger.

We have decided that we want to spend the rest of our life with them and not knowing whether they would be spending it with us or not.

So every one of us are not lucky every time. But we should appreciate the feelings of the other person even we cant reciprocate to them in the similar manner.

“Gravity is not responsible of people to fall in love.. it just happens” and when it does happen don”t wait for the right time to express..
because right time is when your heart beats faster.. If you love someone don”t wait for tomorrow.. or for the other person to make the move..agreed “tomorrow never dies”.. but also remember.. “tomorrow never comes . . . ”
(Trust me, don”t be late . . .)

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