KAISE SAMJHANA INKO!

DESPITE GOD’S SIGNATURE

by S.GANESH BABU.

There is an old joke.The Prime Minister of the Soviet Union Mr. Khrushchev was on a visit to India and he was being taken in a motorcade, by the then prime minister of India, Shri. Jawaharlal Nehru. During the course of travel, the prime minister of Russia, Mr. Khrushchev, saw in the distance, amen stooped and urinating along the roadside. Mr.Krushchev turned to Mr. Nehru and said "had this man did this in our country, I would have thrown him behind the bars". Mr. Nehru just kept silent, simmering inside at the insult and was waiting for an opportunity.

Soon, his turn came. On a similar visit to Russia, Mr. Nehru was taken in a motorcade through Kremlin. Mr. Nehru kept his eyes open to find one who was creating a similar nuisence on the road. And to his satisfaction, soon he found one. "There!" beamed Mr. Nehru, turning to Mr. Khrushchev "Are you going to throw that man behind the bars?" he asked. "I wish, I could" lamented Mr. Khrushchev, "you see! Protocol prevents me. Had he not been the Indian Ambassador to Russia ," drawled Mr. Khrushchev.

The reason for me to narrate this joke was to high light the plight of Hyderabadi's to the problem of people using roadsides and public places for creating nuisance. A recent news item gave me some solace that Hyderabad is not only the place to suffer this ignominy, but even the British, of late are facing similar problems and that they were contemplating severe action on the people misusing public places.

What is amazing is the attitude! This need to relieve oneself on the street seems to me, is beyond all barriers, be it social, economical, educated or uneducated. When the need arises, presto ! Find a spot! Don't bother about the surroundings! Seek the bush, or wall, be it a main road, or a side road! Never think of it! Use it and relieve yourself and why bother if women and young girls are passing around! Even the Dogs are a bit circumspective, they smell around before deciding.

Watching most of the morning walkers, they stuff their nostrils with a kerchief as they cross the stretch of urinated side walk unable to bare the stench watching them a moment later; you can find them also using the sidewalk for a similar purpose with the kerchief still stuffed over the nostrils.

What is beyond my understanding is the fact that women do not show such an urgency to use side walks or public places and they are discreet and seek privacy to meet nature's demands. How come man is so insensitive and so impatient to hold himself? Thank God for small mercies, I dread to think of the situation if women also were to be of similar nature!

What is amazing is the way men select their spots! A dilapidated wall, surroundings of a dust bin, nearby bushes, and invariably the local electrical installations such transformers, all these form the places ever in demand for such ventures and if such locations are not found in the vicinity, no problem, a healthy well painted wall will do. There is no embarrassment on the faces and there is no sense of the vicinity where such an act is performed. In fact, when one of them was reprimanded for such an act, he stood up and asked "where do you expect me to go? We are not accustomed to use toilets!" he declared nonchalantly.

Another compounding factor that paints the surroundings is the spit, red in color, gleefully puffed out of a mouth chewing tobacco. The locations may be any wall, any corner, or any pole. The most utilized spots are the staircase corners of Government buildings, residential flats and so on. The world is a wide canvas for such people, and they have the brush in their tongue and the paint more bright and modern in concept. The probability of your neatly pressed shirt being used as a canvas is also as bright as the red color. This invariably happens when an unsuspecting pedestrian crosses the path of a spit savvy individual, who would only mutter an apology in case he is stared at, though the apology will have no real intention behind the statement. Perhaps this could be one more apt advertisement for surf excel where in the question " Ghar mein surf excel tho haina?", is asked time and again for such actions that needs cleansing.

A number of efforts to control this menace were indeed initiated by a few people. One such effort was the stringing of used slippers across the stretch where urination was rampant. The opinion that lead to such a measure was that, at least the shame of trespassing into a slipper barricaded area would deter people from repeating a similar act. What a high hope it should have been? To think that our people will change at the sight of a string of slippers is not only naïve, but also stupid in nature. That being so, since slippers could not solve the problem, there was another thought! "How about instilling the fear of God? “If only God’s signatures were to be used, will not people fear and desist from creating such despicable acts?" and so came the symbols of the lord. "OM, CROSS, SWASTIKA," all these were depicted on the walls where such nuisance was prevalent. Taking a cue, even some of the caretakers of flats and complexes where offices were located emulated the idea and placed tiles at the staircase corners to ward off spitting. One other method adopted at one of the electric utility office was to paint the staircase corners with red paint. Despite these efforts, the spitting in flats was curbed to some extent, that is only in places where God's signatures were inscribed but on red painted area, the competition became even worse and fiercer, with people spitting over the paint to prove that "MY RED IS BRIGHTER THAN YOURS" and perhaps Exide batteries can take the cue for their ad. idea.

And so where do we go from here? Accept and reconcile or make an effort! Or keep trying, some day, who knows WE THE PEOPLE will realize and hopefully, the day will come when, every one of us will stop holding kerchiefs against our nostrils to ward of the stench, BECAUSE THERE WILL BE NO STENCH ON THAT STRETCH OF THE ROAD WHERE I GO FOR A MORNING WALK.

But do not ask me WHEN? That is a million Rupee question.

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