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Straying from marriage
As individuals, we humans are unique in the way we think and behave, and by the limits or boundaries - moral/ ethical, that we set for ourselves. Among married couples, it is the mindsets of the individual components (the male mindset traditionally predominates in most human societies) that set the boundaries of their marriage.
There can be differing needs for/ acceptable levels of individual freedom for each spouse vis a vis interaction with other members of the opposite sex. Some people are genuinely happy with their sole ’soul mate’, and do not seek or even actively bar friendships with other non-family members of the opposite sex after marriage. Others continue being the free souls that they always were, and seek/ find close kinship and bonding with individuals of the opposite sex throughout their lives. There’s nothing wrong with this - don’t forget, we humans are social animals.
Sometimes the bonding and attraction at the mental plane felt by two individuals, who are not married to each other, progresses to physical or sexual attraction. Whether or not they should move to the next level surely depends on the kind of marriage each one of them is living in. If marriage is seen as an ‘exclusive commitment’, the straying would cause an irrevocable chasm in their marriage. If their spouses are free souls too, and openness and frank discussions are an integral part of their marriage, such liaisons will not cause any ripples or harm.
Problems occur when differences exist in the mindsets of spouses. In scenarios where the spouses vary in a big way in their mental make up, the individual seeking to ’stray’ needs to think twice - does he/ she want the bliss of the moment even at the risk of continuation of the long term commitment that is ‘marriage’. If issues are complicated and difficult to resolve, it would be wise to stay within defined boundaries, and not stray.
After all, you can’t always have your cake and eat it too!
In any case, it is wrong for society to sit in judgment of such situations, or to lay hard and fast rules for premarital or marital alliances/ dalliances! Each instance is situationally unique and needs to be dealt with by the concerned parties only.
After all, it is THEIR life…… c’est la vie!
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nice theory and well put as well.
Well thought out and written post. Liked it
better to chose n make it work !! its a bond divine..
Baapre baap….too serious stuff.will have to reflect before saying anything.Give me some time. am still thinking:)))
Impressive observation, and surely there would be more to life than that three letter word. It seems to me, it is the level of association people enjoy, that determines what they do in a friendship. And if the friendship is based on mutual respect and trust, why should it do any wrong to any marriage. I would agree with the majority who have commented on this blog.
thought provoking post ma”am. Marriage is not only abt physical relationships, just as extra marital relationships with a person of the opposite sex need not necessarily be physical in nature. When physical, it does constitute straying. when a relationship beyond marriage is primarlily due to mental affinity, tho it may progress to being physical in nature, then i dont think one should use the term straying. After the physical flush of marriage is gone, there needs to be sumthing to take its place when not..then the love remains but the search resumes.
To each his/her own… it just happens to some, and never with most! let things be!
I do not think society has any business butting into personal lives, and I would not seek its approval. The amount of freedom in a relationship is a “work in progress” kind of scenario because individual needs differ so much