Broadcasting my thoughts
We have a family tradition of accidental dogs..er ..accidental dogs as in owning dogs (on second thoughts i think they own us) bcoz of chance not dogs who are accident prone..
since the time my folks got married 3 dogs have had the pleasure to boss us around and have also been a constant source of joy and T.L.C
The following pet blogs are a tribute to the hero’s in my life..
Posted in Pets.
– March 19, 2008
Im angry ..very angry..and concerned..
My casual “hunting for a good pair of chappals”..turned out just more than that.
Janpat(del) is where i usually buy stuff so there i was chappal shopping with a friend..even though we practicaly bought everything we saw.
chappal shopping becomes tedious when you have a variety 2 choose from..the shop looks like an explosion of colours..oshos,kolahpuris,mojris,stringed in every colour possible neon,purple silver golden..blah blah..what im trying to arrive at is..that I WAS TIRED…AND TIERD MEANS I GOTTA GET A DRINK.
So,janpat has thela walas selling softdrinks in their redis..and they look like little angels from the heavens waiting to save your souls..and mine was in danger so i hurried up to save my throat and mouth from cracking coz of the dryness.
i asked for a sprite(paranoid about colas/toilet cleaners)and gluped it down and then it was time to pay up..ahem..12 bucks..err..isn’t it 10 bucks a bottle i inquired..nahi yahan 12 ka hai was the answer..
my mind reverted back 2 school, between sleeping,passing notes,flying paper planes and eating in class i faintly remembered the time we were taught about consumer rights .. we cannot be charged more than the M.R.P..n i gess that was all i needed to remember at that time wen my head wuz boiling.
I asked the guy if he knew(nah) and why he was charging me more..
his 1st reaction: he looked at my torn jeans n sneakers with stickers(RUDE!!RUDE!!RUDE!)
2nd:questioned my spending capacity..thought i was a makhki choos..
3rd:told me every other stall charges the same and if i went to a bigger place they’d rob me
4th: gave me a ridiculous answer that he was charging extra for refrigerating the damn thing
agar kisine tumpar case kar diya toh?..nahi madam kisi ke pass 2 rupaiye ke liye itna time nahi hai..(sheeeepi-est grin followed with a truimphant “u cannot do anything” look. take it or go to heaven with a dry mouth)
That was the biggest bummer for exercising my vocal chords, for the concerned and aware woman that i thought i was..and the worst being that he was probably right..do rupaiye ke liye kiske pass time hai..
And so much for standing up for my rights..Janpat trips are now accompanied by my own bottle of water..!
This was me crumbling in a situation but i had zero choices..it was really a case of helplessness..now let new tell u guys a winning story
It is about my professor..MS.UN and boy does she know her rigths or does she know her rights..whats better is she knows how to stand up for it ..very well.
The case unfolds in our award winning college cafeteria..it has everything..a vast,sumptous,drool dripping menu card so much so that people from the university come to have “lunch” here..so u know its popular..
The owner of the canteen MR.G and wife Mrs G earn tons of moolah by fleecing the kids(charge more..again)in addition they are not the sweetest people to come across..dey talk back in insults,snap,snub or simbly keep shouting n 2 see ‘em smile is like going to the mueseum..
and soon enough..it was noticed..by my prof.. one fine encounter and volley of rude remarks later..she decided it was the end of the line..and she gave MRS G a peice of her mind.She also decided that she’d never buy anything from the cafe’.
This happended last year and MS.UN manages food and drinks from outside the college,which is a pain,but thats ok.She often runs in late for her classes and we often see her sipping coffee in her darling looking tweety mug..but the college cafe is out of bounds for her.
Her support system is she herself..other prof’s dont care much for a buck or two and i dont think they’d ever want to mess with the college administration whatsoever.
No matter how small or irrelevant this incident may be, it leaves a lesson behind
STAND UP FOR WHAT YOU THINK IS RIGHT..THE ROAD IS BUMPY AND YOU WILL FACE CHALLENGES..PEOPLE WILL NOT ALWAYS SUPPORT YOUR CAUSE..BUT U HAVE TO CONTINUE FIGHTING.
If you can’t really stand up for something that small no matter how small..you’d never for a higher cause.
Don’t be afraid to question..if not anything.. u might just earn some self respect.
Posted in Life.
– March 7, 2008
Have you ever felt like not the only one in an empty room?,about being followed when there is no one around,feel a pair of eyes on you constantly, the feeling of being WATCHED…
What could be possibly wrong with me..is it me or the others? Fascination with the unknown, the supernatural,the dark side had always been there..so what had happended now that my thirst was being quenched with my own experiences n not books or stories of others?
It was my first summer away from home..away from all the over protection i had been stifled with..a time where i could explore myself and the others..my time to experience the world..a period of many “first’s”.First shot of alcohol,1st drag of smoke..my 1st REAL date..
The place where i lived was overflowing with girls..girls everywhere..paticularly mine..i was sharing my room and my life with 5 others.Now girls,i realised waste no time to bond..they bond on stuff like men,music,movies and makeup and stories..stories of life,friends and spook. Yes, you heard me right..spook.
Story telling keeps you awake till the wee hours of morning and is a good indicator of ur “bonding” and night time is the best spook time.
There would be nights when girls from other rooms would come and bundle up in ours and then one by one stories would spill out.Needlessly to say i was having a time of my life..here i was.. a spook digger and now i was sitting on my very own pot of gold..er..spook.
One of my friends Samaira..was a very pretty girl..long locks,pretty face,big kohled eyes and pale..i always thought she was spooky..in the pretty way..we all know how all the female ghosts are drop dead gorgeous..or thats what we are made to belive..then on one ocassion during the story session i saw samaira in the mirror for a split second staring back at me viciously..now that doesnt seem odd does it? the only point was that she wasn’t there in our room..
I thought it was best to keep quiet..too many stories were probably playing tricks on my mind and my already fertile imagination was running too wild..until Chandini spoke up..SHE SAID SHE SAW SAMAIRA IN THE MIRROR.Now there were two of us..and we possibly could not have imagined the same things..
Strange episodes followed in the days to come.strange noises,feeling the presence of someone else other than the 5 of us..lost cell phones ringing in the locked cupboard(many times with different people). On another occasion Swati saw me in the mirror,i was upstairs in a different room(swati had Dared to sleep alone in that room many times..called us fools and sissy’s)until that day when she came screaming hysterically.
We figured out probably there was something wrong in the mirror..then started our ritual of covering the damn mirror with a cloth b4 bedtime..which we followed religiously..someone got a Tabeez from a fakir we saw at a popular hangout..and then people suggested we keep pictures of God and burn incense sticks..we did everything.
I was scared alright for myself and everybody else..but naughty that im..i cudn’t stop myself from playing pranks and scaring those guy out.The best time was when we went to get water from the cooler installed outside our building in the hallway connected to the main building next to the study area.We guys would get thirsty at 1130-12 at night and with no water in the room sumone would have to go fetch it from the cooler..too scraed to go alone we’d go in pairs..of course i would volunteer most of the time..and thanks to the spooky ambience and my weird half limp half hop walk and well practised gruesome ex-pressions i managed to scare those fools everytime(they knew it was me ..but would get scared anyway..go figure..!)
Now, im not a very good sleeper and the radio would keep me company almost all night.While others tried to return to their normal routine and slept by 12 i would stay awake and listen to this program till about 2.It was helping me get past through the “12 o’clock” phase i thought but i was not ready for what was going to come.
One night as ususal i was getting ready to sleep at 2(i know the time as the program had just ended)i pulled up my sheet..laid on my back..and shut my eyes..lets say i was half awake..when within seconds i felt like i was being stifled..i felt a heavy force on my chest like someone was sitting on me..feeling of being throttled..what was worse was that i was paralysed..i couldnt move..my hand lay outstreched but my fingers wouldn’t move..i wanted to call out friends to my rescue..i couldnt..in my mind i was screaming for help but nothing could be heard.It was like being under a spell..I knew if this continued for a few more seconds ..whatever it was could take over my body..
Then an image of the Ganesha’s idol kept in our room came to my mind..that very moment the spell broke..i broke out in cold sweat..it took me a while to understand what had just happened..i tried waking up the girl next to me ..but in vain..i had to contend with wrapping myself around her in a tight hug and pray myself to sleep.
From that day on i completely lost my sleep..and i would stay awake to see the morning light and sleep for an hour b4 going college..that continued for weeks..(i later learned through my research that it’s called OLD HAG in the spook terminology and also known as a psychological disorder called SLEEP PARALYSIS)No matter what its called it was not ordinary nor can its essence be caught in a fancy “two worded term”.
There were many things that happened that summer but my experience remains with me and the others ..A story told in sessions..
Posted in goosebumps.
– February 24, 2008
The reason for my dads obsessive need for buying jewellery would be that i would get married sum day n der r for me..any holiday my folks went on ..dey’d bring bak more jewellery everytime..rings,earrings,neck pieces,bracelets,amulets..gold silver,platinum,pearls,shells..even junk..the only sad part being ..i CANT wear jewels..nor can i carry it off..or even pretend 2..i just feel so dorky..so wenevr he gets it ..i gush about it,smile n try it on hoping dat iv actually changed this time ..but sum things r not meant to be..
i wud often wonder hw it wud be leaving my folks wen i get married..well..ders a knot in my stomach ryt now..and the whole movie scene flashes past me..way tooo dramatic..little did i realize dat my time to leave dem wud not be my wedding day but wen i leave dem to study further ..strange ..
i was all set to leave home ..happy..was going to live wid my frnz n the thot of our wild times together was taking up 2 much of my time. i was to leave on sunday n on saturday morning i was in my room doing the last minute packing wen it suddenly hit me..i was going away..n dis aint a weekend holiday..tears followed..i rushed with blurred eyes 2 to latch the door..wudn’t be caught dead being a sissy..im daddy’s “STRONG GURL”..besides being girly isnt my thing..
well..there was my own movie..black n white images flashing thru my teary eyes..mom throwing me out of bed on a school day..forcing milk down my throat,every b’day i ever had,dad n my wrestling matches..ball time with my dog..i even saw Ghale bhaiya cooking(he’s a gr8 guy who works for our family)..n den questions followed..who’s going to cook for me(cnt survive on my own)..do the pep talking..ground me..ask 4 report cards..no more family dinners..no figths for remotes and above all whose going to wash my socks..?
y cnt we think about such stuff everyday..? but NO! its going to wait to hit u rite in da end .BooM!.with no answers n make a bigger emotional murky mess than u already r in..
loud bangs on da door..dat wud be my mum..covering my swollen eyes with deep kohl helped getting thru da day without much questioning..
the moment of truth wuz here..had 2 catch a 5:00 train n leave house at 4 in da morning..phone calls poured in …every being i knew called to wish me luck..time 2 leave ..n i loaded my self in da car..dad took da drivers seat and mum n me at da back..i inherit my stiff emotions from mom so der we sat quietly ..da only sound was dat of da car..more black n white flashes..i was in a spot now..cry in front of my folks?..no way! but i cudnt hold it..i still thank da morning darkness for letting me cry without being visible…but i did hear sniffles from the other end of the car..we all wer being thankful to the darkness ..i gess
and then happened the final goodbye n now im here flashing back on it ..dats da time i cried da hardest..what about u guys?…Addy and Noor tell me their stories..the dim ligths in da room make for a perfect story telling setion..and den Noor ends the conversation abruptly scolding me 2 stop wasting time n get studying for my exam..”it was a 15 min break..not an hour long”,she screams!!
and then she softens up and asks..hot chocolate anyone?
moved from one household to another…
Posted in Life.
– February 19, 2008
will he or won’t he?..thats the ques i think aloud as dad and me wait anxiously ..as we see history being created..the scene is from the 18th hole, live from Delhi Golf Club ..THE INDIAN MASTERS 2008..its SSP Chawrasia’s final round ..as we sit with sweaty palms and pounding hearts..excitedly we see him tee off from the 18th n pray it ’s a beautiful shot ..sitting pretty on the fairway and perfectly positioned…the way it should be.”Its a par 5 and he needs to keep out of woods…n dad trails off as the ball lands in a not so pretty place..quick calculations of shots follow..after thinking we wonder what will happen if the second in lead shoots an eagle and SSPC gets a bogey..not exactly the most optimistic duo around..but we were assessing all the possibilities..and dragging SSP a step away from his dream and his biggest carrer win ever.
My mom ,a cricket buff demands to see the end of the ongoing ODI and we are forced to shuffle between the two equally important matches. Few curses later we are back to golf where SSP hits his 3rd shot and lands on the green..around 15-20 feet away from the cup. “chota reh gaya “..is our instant reaction..cameras zoom on SSP’s face and he smirks back ..as if he heard us..yep..he also has the smile that would force you 2 smile back with all the genuinety in the world. 
Zoom back to cricket..where India’s already won the match and we see Harbhjan rejoicing in the stands with a bat in his hand..mom exits with a smile and we zoom back to golf…moment of truth and tension..SSPC lines up for the 20 feet odd putt..even though the game is as good as won .i can’t wait to see his reaction and can already feel the happiness.This is a birdy putt which if he sinks he finishes 10 under and wins, and if doesnt he hits a par and wins anyway..nevertheless it is exciting. To add to the excitment we bet on a chocolate. I think its too far n the green is unpredictable..dad differs. SSPC hits the ball and on it rolls…to stop 3 feet from the cup.
Eventually he sinks in the 3 footer ..leans to pick his ball from the cup..beams with a 400 watt smile and acknowledges the crowds appaulse and swwooosh disappears in the crowd. Sublime emotions from a man whose shocked the world of golf, just created history .has a better score card than the world no 4 and has made bigger waves than there is in the pacific.(PS-he is not even the no.1 in India)
I catch myself smiling and happier than he himself probably is..and listen to him being interviewed ..soft spoken and carefully weighed hindi sentences follow with an interpreter doing his job well. The trophy which is a miniature INDIA GATE sits pretty in his hands declaring him the champion of the INDIAN MASTERS 2008.
As I celebrate his victory..i decide to run through the news..eager to catch the the newsroom action..there is INDIA’s win over Aus …EVERYWHERE..visibly excited journolists and the people alike..expert comments..trip to the house of the hero of the day..careful analysis ..future gameplans..there’s cricket everywhere..NO SHIV SHANKAR PRASAD CHAURASIA..oh no..im sorry ..there “IS” a bulletin wriggling like a centipede at the bottom of the tv set…SSP Chauraisia wins the Indian Masters 2008.. Wow thats GRAND! Later in the day there’s still more fuss being created on the Indian victory..and for company Prakash Amritraj bumps of the Uzbek in the Davis Cup..so there is double celebration..”SUPER SUNDAY FOR INDIAN SPORTS ” they say and still no sign of him.
Now as I sit here releasing my anger..i feel angrier thinking about our cricket crazed nation ( i admit im a part of it 2) but is it fair? what about the due which needs to be given to the other sports? is cricket overshadowing everything else? don’t we need to celebrate our every victory ..may be not in the same overwhleming fashion but atleast with the recognition it desrves.All the more reason to recognize and encourage a newly flourishing game in india.
I see the chocolate i won..now i wonder if its worth the excitment i thought we were creating.
Posted in Sports.
– February 10, 2008
its bin a long fite with myself…to tok about it has bin tuffer..it takes a moment to change ur life..and BANG! welcum to a new feeling..evn as i write about it ..iv run down da stairs n bak up 1/2 a dozen times..jittery n nervous..reliving the horror… bad times cum n go dey say..but dey never said dat the bad times linger longer ..or do dey jus seem to..
u never realise their worth wen dey r around n wen dey r gone..realization comes late..it was only yesterday wen we wer laughing together and today its only tears of rememberence.
countless are r times wen v peeped thru da doors..waiting for a miraculous revival ,a sign of hope n prayed for a new life.. as days went by we saw you living thru tubes and it was the machines nd not ur smiles telling us dat you were ok..like a true soldier u fought..we know u did..but its the fate we all cant fight ..
in poured the well wishers,friends and strangers. countless lives that had been touched by ur presence. the family ..stood together like a solid rock.. a unit.. the feeling of belonging never seemed stronger.
as i remember you today ..its along with ur beaming smile and warmth…our salute exchanges and being fondly called the “adjudent”. i will never forget your last gift to us ..a day of fun and frolic laughter bonding and love..xactly da way u were..
you will always live thru our smiles and be remebered like that..WE MISS YOU…
Posted in tuff stuff.
– February 5, 2008
nursing old hurt and anger is tuff. jst wen i was convinced i can manage alone n practised my “dont give a damn attitude”4 long enuf that it came naturally 2 me , i was proved wrong . and it makes me strangely happy.
all da yrs i held a grudge..little did i realise it wasnt da odar person i was torturing with my silent treatment..it was me.i sucessfully managed 2 turn in2 sumbody i dnt like ,leave alone others.good frnz r hard 2 cum by..so if ur fooling urself thinkng meeting new ppl makes sense n u gotta move on..without soothing past pains..snap out of it.
Being emotionally retarded n bad with expressing stuff puts u in a spot. sumtimes u just have to say it..no matter how weird ,shallow it may make u sound.i shud’v done da same n saved myself da torture..but hey ..i learned..even if it was da hard way..good frnz eventually take da shooting from da lips and digest it..boy..dat sounds deep ..in its own right..lol
just running thru together about our old days made me realised wut xactly was “missing” ol dis time.sumthing dat had bin a part of me since i was knee high..was hard 2 part with. i masked it well ..mastered dat infact..stonecold..but not 4 long
good sense prevails on everyone n thnkfuly i wasnt different..shit happens ..and good stuff happens 2..and dats da happy ending of my story. il sleep well 2nyt!
sleep tyt u guys!
Posted in Friends.
– February 5, 2008
