budhoosekanjoose's blog

A House for Mr. Budhoose

budhoose kanjoose — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 13:08:57 +0000

Budhoose met Sidhan, his friend, on the road.
'Long time no see!' Sidhan exclaimed.

'Yeah, I was sort of busy' Budhoose said.

'What is up?'

'I am building a new house'
Budhoose smiled.

'Wonderful! Tell me about the
new house. Is it big?'

'You know Sidhan, I wanted to
have a large house. I actually
wanted to beat the Windsor castle
and the Lalith Mahal Palace together.
But unfortunately there is not enough land”

'How big is the house anyway?'

'It is only a six bedroom house
with attached bathrooms and dressing
rooms for all bed rooms. Garage for
two cars and a separate
quarter for the servants'

'Oh, that is great!'

All doors and windows are of
teak and mahogany. The floor is a
mixture of Italian marble and German granite'

'I am dying to see it!' Sidhan said.

'The kitchen is air conditioned'

'Oh my God'

'The taps are all gold plated'

'Oh, Budhoose! You are splurging!
How much have you come with your new house?'

'Just you wait, Sidhan. Don't be
in a hurry' Budhoose said.

'Have you got the compound landscaped?

I am sure you are going to get
done by Mr. P K R Menon'

'Unfortunately, Sidhan, I have not
come to that. Or else I could
have shown you that'

'Have you finished the paint job?
You know it takes a lot of money and time'

'No, no, not yet Sidhan'

'Have you finished the marble
and granite work?'

'Oh, that contractor is very slow.
He still has not started that work'

How high is the roof? You know,
Budhoose, you should have a high roof.
It will keep the house cool and quiet'

'Sidhan, I thought of getting it done
by that Premachandran. But then he does
not have quality machinery and I think
I well get it done by Mohanan Nair'

'Who is doing the brick work? I know
some one who does a good job of it'

'I thought of getting it done with
finished granites. But then it takes
too much time and I decided to go for
marble blocks. It works out only
slightly dearer than granite blocks.
But I still have not got those blocks'

'How did the foundation go?
Who did that?' Sidhan asked

'That guy Sathyan is a lazy bone
and has not turned up so far'

'Oh, were are you going to have
your house built?'

'You know that large vacant
plot near the post office?
I will have my house there'

'But, Budhoose, that whole land
belongs to our Mamachan Muthalaly.
How did you get it?'

'If you pay money you can get any thing'
Budhoose laughed.

'How did you come to so much money?'
Sidhan gaped in wonder.

'I still have not got the money.
One day I will get it and then I
will have the house'

'But Budhoose how will you get so much money?'

'I was just dreaming. If I get the money
I will have the house made
by Charles Correa'

Doppler Shift Explained

budhoose kanjoose — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 09:21:16 +0000

Though we see and experience
Doppler effect every day we seldom
give a second thought to it.
For the benefit of the very few who
do not remember the theory of
Doppler shift I shall explain it
in simple terms.
Doppler shift is a change in the
frequency of a wave (say sound)
when we stand still and the source
of the wave moves towards us or
recedes from us. The classical
example given in text books is
the change in the pitch of the
whistle of an approaching train.
If you listen carefully you will
notice that the whistle appears
to increase in frequency (pitch)
when the train is moving towards
you and decrease in pitch while
the train is moving away from you.
But unless you are a trained
and gifted musician you will
find it difficult to make out that
frequency shift. More over all
of us do not have access to
moving trains. At times, if you
are not careful, it could become
dangerous trying to stand in the
path of an approaching train and listen.
But I shall give you a simpler, safer
and easily done experiment.
To do this experiment you need
not go to the railway station,
risk your life and limb or
spend any money.
You do not need any sophisticated
lab equipments to do this experiment.
You do not have to make any
complicated calculations too.
Nor do you have to remember
complicated formulas. It is very
obvious to naked eyes.
But if you are trained in Quantum
Physics, the experiment may
reveal some observer-observed
interferences due to the effect
of the uncertainty principle.
Try this experiment in
your home town.
But in general it is an easy
and fool proof experiment.
Now, the experiment.
Before the sun goes down,
stand in the vicinity of a popular
bar in your area. But under no
circumstances should you go
into the bar. Watch a regular
customer of the bar coming
to the bar. Watch the leg
movements of the man.
The frequency of leg movements
will visibly increase as the person
walks to the bar and will reach
a peak at the door of the bar.
Then watch the same person
going away from the bar.
The frequency of the leg
movements will rapidly decrease
and slow down and may at times
even reverse and he may
go back to the bar.
That is Doppler shift for you.

MATHS

budhoose kanjoose — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 17:23:29 +0000

Maths Class.
Budhoose was a very astute
and sincere student in the school.
He did all the
home work given in the class very
carefully and diligently.
Once the class teacher gave the
class a mathematics problem as home work.
“When you go home estimate the distance
from here to your houses and find
out how much time you take to reach
your houses. Then calculate how much
time you would take to walk
to the town and back”
the teacher told them.
The students counted the number
of steps they took from the school
to their houses, the length of
their steps and the time they
took to reach the house.
The next day they calculated the
time it would take to walk from
the school to the town and back.
“So, did you calculate the
time you would take?”
The teacher asked the first student.
He stood up and said
“Three hours, sir”
“Very good! Sit down.
Now what value did you get?”
The teacher looked at
Budhoose and asked.
Budhoose stood up and
counted on his fingers,
on all ten of them.
“Twelve days, Sir”
he said without any hesitation.
The teacher”s eyes popped.
The eyes of the rest of students
popped even more.
The teacher swallowed hard
and asked Budhoose
“I do not understand.
Will you please explain the calculation?”
“It is quite elementary sir.
When I come to school and
reach back home it is invariably
evening. It is a full kilometer
from here to my house. From here to
the town it is ten kilometers. If I take
one day to come to school and reach
back home, it would take
ten days to go to town and come back”
“But you said twelve days”
the teacher expressed his skepticism.
“That too is quite simple, sir.
I have an aunt at the town and I
will have to stay there for two days
and that makes it twelve days
The teacher dropped his chalk,
stood up and said
“I think it is a very logical
and water tight calculation.
I suggest that we should sponsor
Budhoose to go to the University of
Macondo to pursue his
doctorate in arithmetical logic”

Watch this space

budhoose kanjoose — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 17:14:15 +0000

Doppler shift explained for lay man.Read about the simple experiment Doppler himself did not perform.
Await the latest in science education.
Please be patient.
Next post

DOPPLER SHIFT

from mail

budhoose kanjoose — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 01:32:12 +0000

Some facts about Indian MPs.
disclaimer,
I got this in mail.
There is always a possibility
of error in this

Salary of an MP Rs 42000 per month
Office expenses Rs 14000 per month
Travel expenses Rs 8 per kilometer
Daily DA / TA Rs 500
Train Travel Free
Air Travel 40 air trips free in a year
Hotel in Delhi Rent Free
Electricity 50000 units free
Local Phone call charges Rs 170000
Total expenses 32 lakhs per year
Expenses for 5 years 1 crore and 60 lakhs
Cost for 795 MPS 1272 crores
All this comes from tax money
Let all Indians hear this and
remember while voting

Budhoose the Security Guard.

budhoose kanjoose — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 13:36:43 +0000

Budhoose has an insatiable fascination
with police uniform and similar
looking dress. The wide belt, the
khaki shirt and the boots give
Budhoose a thrill.
But unfortunately his stint in
the police left Budhoose high and dry.
But Budhoose looked around
to see if something else could
fetch him the same kick with the uniforms.
As a last resort Budhoose decided
to try his hand as a security guard.
After all a police man is only
a glorified security man.
So he went to a security
agency and asked for a job.
The job he got was that of a
car park security guard in
a large office complex.
Budhoose happily donned his
new khaki and blue uniform and
the cap with a yellow band on it.
Sharp at eight in the morning
he reported for duty. But at that
early hour there was no one in
the office and no one to give him
any instructions. So he decided
to learn for himself and define his
own duty. He looked around
and studied the situation. He looked
around to see who was important
and who was the small fry.
The first one to appear in the parking
lot was the peon of the office.
He was easily identifiable with
his white trousers, the white
shirt and the slippers.
He came on an old dilapidated
scooter and parked it in the corner
of the parking lot under a
shade tree. As he was about to
go off Budhoose caught up
with him and said gravely
‘No, you cannot park it there.
Take it away’
The peon meekly took away
the scooter and parked at
on the road.
The next one to appear was
a slightly more important looking
lady driving a new shiny scooter.
She too fell victim to Budhoose
and the shiny new scooter too
found its proper place in the
side of the road under the sun.
Soon a man with a grave look
on his face and wrinkles on his
forehead appeared in a large car.
His chauffeur driven car glided
smoothly to the most prominent
place in the parking area. It did not
stop at the signal given by Budhoose.
That infuriated Budhoose to some extend.
Budhoose walked up to the car
and told the driver
‘Take the car out and park it
any where else you like.
But you cannot park it here’
But the driver paid no
attention to his orders.
The important man came out of
the car looked at the ranting security guard.
‘What is the problem?’ he demanded.
‘You cannot park the car here’
Budhoose said with finality.
‘But this is the parking lot’
the important looking man
was in no mood to give up his right.
‘Who are you?’
Budhoose demanded.
‘I am the manager in this office there’
‘Look at the board there.
Did you not put that up?’
‘Yes’ the manager conceded.
‘Read it please’ Budhoose insisted.
‘No parking, only for office staff’
the manager read it aloud.
‘I am an educated man.
If you do not understand what
it says I will have to teach you
what that means. That means
the area is no parking zone
only for the office staff.
Now, take your car out like
a good boy and park it there
and do your day’s work. OK?
Don’t forget to take back your
car when you go home’
The manager too parked his car
out on the road, till the board and
the mind of Budhoose were changed.

Switch of the lights to save - the bull shit stuff

budhoose kanjoose — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 10:09:58 +0000

Sunday 29 march 2009

Switch off your lights and save the world!!

Or shut your eyes and make it night!!

All of us were supposed to shut off the

lights at half past eight at night on Saturday — yesterday.

I went out to see what would happen to

the town at 8.30.

It was a revealing experience, to say

the least.

Or was it illuminating?

Every one thought that the electricity

department would shut off the power

at at that time.

I saw a man hurrying to the shop

thinking that the lights would

go off at 8.30.

Some shop keepers were ready to

down the shutters in anticipation.

But most amazing thing was that

many had switched

on the standby generators.

I waited there in the town center

for some time to see what would happen.

But nothing happened. No one,

not a single one, switched off

even a single light.

Asking people to switch off the

lights was the dumbest thing to

do to save the earth.

That is directly comparable to the

load shedding / power saving

false drama the government is

playing every day here in Kerala,
may be in other parts of India too.

I do not know how much energy

the nation saves by switching

off the power supply for half

an hour every day.

A very plausible answer would be

THE NATION DOES NOT SAVE ANY ENERGY..

ON THE OTHER HAND WE LOSE A LOT OF

ENERGY DURING THE POWER CUT.

We actually spend more energy in the bargain.

I shall explain. Almost all the

houses have inverters. All those
batteries get charged

from the mains. We should remember

that charging a battery is an energy

losing process. That is, we lose energy

trying to substitute for the power cut.

Almost all shops have petrol or

diesel generators. They too are

inefficient machines when compared

to the mains distribution of power.

So the nation ends up spending many

times more energy in the form of

imported costly diesel and petrol.

Every one is a loser.

Just imagine how much money shop

keepers and house owners had spent

on generators and inverters.

With that money we could have easily

built another big dam or a nuclear reactor.

Same thing happened during the “one hour”

call to switch off the lights.

People not only did not switch off

the lights but additionally switched

on the generators, spending/wasting

more energy. In the process there was

some extra pollution also.

Had they switched off the lights it

would have been even worse.

They would have lit candles,

making even more pollution!!

I hope the activists or who ever

did this counter intuitive business

will not repeat this idiocy in the

name of saving the earth.

We need better imagination to save the earth.
Better ways to save energy.
Better ways to be on this earth.
Better ways to be better beings.

Heavy Vehicle Traffic

budhoose kanjoose — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 17:16:18 +0000

Budhoose the Traffic policeman
Budhoose always had a liking for policemen.
To be more precise, for the job of the policeman.
Budhoose was at a loss to understand the mechanism
of the policeman managing to stop a vehicle on
road by simply showing his bare hand at them.
Budhoose tried that trick several times but
failed to get any response from the motorists.
All that they did was to sneer at him
and scold him very badly.
So Budhoose decided to find out.
In his opinion the best way to do
that was to become a traffic policeman
and see what happens when he showed his
hand at the speeding truck.
Soon his long cherished desire to
become a traffic policeman became a
reality. Budhoose donned his khaki pants,
the white shirt and the blue cap and took
position at the traffic junction.
His boss gave him explicit instruction
not to let any heavy vehicles into the
road but not to harass any one unnecessarily.
That made him very happy. At last he had
the opportunity to try his hand at stopping
the traffic by simply showing his hand.
He waited for a vehicle to come by.
That road was very small and he had
to wait for a very long time to come
across a vehicle.
At last a small girl on a small scooter
appeared on the road. Budhoose instantly
recognized the daughter of his police boss.
But he decided to show his hand to
stop her any way. The girl stopped the scooter
and demanded to know the reason for that.
But Budhoose was very happy that some one
like the daughter of his boss had stopped
at his signal. He felt sure that he would
be able to stop even a large loaded
truck with his hands.
‘Good morning dear!’
he said courteously to the girl.
‘Sorry to stop you, but I have to
see if your scooter is heavy’
‘But this is only a scooter’
she protested.
‘Oh, do not worry. All that we got to
do is to check if it is heavy. Even if it
is heavy I will not charge a case. After all
you are the daughter of my boss’
Budhoose consoled her.
He tried to lift the scooter and found
that he could just about lift the back
wheel off the ground and so he let her pass.
Soon a man appeared there on a big
shiny motorbike and was stopped by Budhoose.
‘Are sure this is not a heavy vehicle?’
Budhoose asked him with authority.
Unfortunately the motorcyclist could
not lift up the new powerful big bike
though he tried very hard.
‘You cannot take this bike this way
because it is a heavy vehicle.
That is the order from above.
But I will not charge you for traffic
offence because you addressed me as sir’
That was the first time in his life
Budhoose had been addressed as sir.
He was very happy and let the bike
man go free without registering a case.

Ides of March

budhoose kanjoose — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 15:53:55 +0000

March 15th !
. . Rings a bell somewhere?

If you pay your taxes it will.

It is the last date for payment of the year”s last advance tax. Budhosee
did not pay advance tax. No, No. Budhoose does not evade tax.
Budhoose is an honest man. Budhoose does not pay tax because he has
no taxable income!

But today Budhoose was wondering what would happen if

1. All the political parties are asked to show an audited account at the end of the year and pay their proper income taxes.

2 All the religious organizations are asked to show an audited account at the end of the year and pay their proper income taxes.

Let us see what will happen.

The political parties will find it difficult to raise funds. Most of
their money comes from unaccounted sources. They will find difficult to tell the IT officer where the money came from. Most of it come as bribes. It will be exposed.

They will find it difficult to explain how they spend the money.
Many who contribute happily to the party funds will stop paying. They will find it inconvenient if the parties show the payment in their books.

If their accounts are examined and scrutinized a large part of or probably the whole of corruption in India will disappear.

I am curious to see what will happen to big time money and gold horders like Thirupathy temple and Sabarimala temple.

If a small fry like Budhoose has to tell the IT officer how he earns his petty cash and what he does with his meager, hard earned money, why should a large political party be spared the hassle of filing IT returns?

What I hear (and so believe - all the same it is only a belief and I may be wrong) is that Catholic church is by far the biggest asset holder in Kerala. Second comes the Communist Party of India Marxist. Again only a belief. The biggest two alleged asset holders in Kerala do not have to pay Income Tax or wealth tax (or even file a return??) and go scot free with their money, no matter how they earn it or spend. Can you really call it earning? Do they work for it? Who”s work and labor
was it any way?

I am mentioning Catholic Church as just an example. There are no saints when it comes to religion or politics. In any case all saints are manufactured or declared as such.

I will not be amazed if I find myself dragged to a court of law for these words. Nor need you be. But I shall tell you if I am asked to appear in a court.

What I would like to think is that if political parties and religious organizations are taxed or at lest their accounts are scrutinized, corruption will grind to a pleasant halt.

Disclaimer:
I do not claim that what I say is absolutely right. I have all the
reasons to be wrong.

A new name for an old drug

budhoose kanjoose — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 16:13:36 +0000

I got this in mail
All drugs have two names, a trade name
and generic name. For example, the trade
name of Panadol also has a generic name
of Paracetamol.. Amoxil is also call
Amoxicillin and Bruffen is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic
name for Viagra. After careful consideration
by a team of government experts, it recently
announced that it has settled on the generic
name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered
were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin,
Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra
will soon be available in liquid form, and
will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power
beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will
now be possible for a man to literally pour
himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no
longer call this a soft drink, and it gives
new meaning to the names of “cocktails”,
“highballs” and just a good old-fashioned
“stiff drink”.
Pepsi will market the new concoction
by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day:
There is more money being spent on
breast implants and Viagra today than
on Alzheimer”s research. This means
that by 2040, there should be a large
elderly population with perky Boobs
and huge erections and absolutely no
idea of what to do with them.

P S. Budhoose thinks that, that drik should be named Hard-Drink