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The poor policeman

I have a part time job in a small office. The office is just about a kilometer from my house.
Generally I do not use a vehicle to go there.
I could use my motor bike but I usually do not.
The reason is quiet simple. It saves me money
and to some extend, it save me time. Honestly
it saves me time. I have to cross a big, busy
junction on the way and if I were to use the
bike I would be waiting for the police man to
let me through. On the other hand, when
I walk, I do not wait for any signal before I
cross the road. Actually there are no signals.
Only a lone policeman at the junction.
But recently I realized that it is not this that
makes me walk. I usually use an umbrella on
my way to the office, rain or shine. It is too hot
a sun for me; or it is raining. I do not like hot
sun. As I walk in the hot sun under the shade
of the umbrella, the poor policeman gives me
a pathetic look of envy. He has to stand right
in the very center of the black hot road under
the white hot sun, from morning till evening,
wearing his dark tight cap. Diesel fumes
smother him and loud horns make his life
miserable. Once in a way the poor man takes
his cap off and wipes his sweaty brow with
his sweat soaked stinking hand kerchief.
I once saw a poor chap take refuge in a
parked auto rikshaw. His face was the very
epitome of misery. The only diversion the
poor devils have is to talk to someone over
the cell phone.
Such scenes make me realize that my life
is better than the police man’s. That makes
my trip from home to the office stimulating.
At the same time it makes me wonder. Why
cannot our police chiefs give the police man
an umbrella? Will his duty be a shade less
well discharged or will he do it better?
I am sure he will curse his fate a little less.
What will serve him better,
a cell phone or an umbrella?
Do we still have to stick to norms
of conduct left by the colonial masters?


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Budhoose the Boy scout


Budhoose as a young man joined the
Boy Scout movement.
He proudly wore the scout uniform,
blew his whistle loud and paraded in
the streets in style. He looked here
and there for an opportunity to
help any old men cross the road.
He had been told by his scoutmaster
that helping an old man cross would
take him to heaven.Soon he came
across an old woman who was waiting
to cross the cross. She was
obviously in distress. She stood there
leaning on her rickety stick and
looked left and right to see if the
traffic would stop for a moment.
But nothing happened, the traffic
continued and never stopped to let
her pass.
As Budhoose neared her she asked him
“Son, will you help me cross this road?”
Budhoose stopped to listen to her and said
“Actually
we are supposed to help old men
cross the road. Unfortunately you are
not an old man and so I cannot do
anything about it”
Saying so he walked on leaving
the old woman to her own resources.
Soon he came across an old man waiting
'at the side of the road. Budhoose went to him and said
“Uncle I will help you cross the road”
Budhoose caught hold of the old man”s
hand and draged him across the road.
But the old man protested.
“No, I do not want to cross the road.
Leave me alone!”
But Budhoose too protested
“No uncle we are supposed to help
old men cross the road. So you have to come”
Budhoose continued to drag the old man across the road.
At last, in exasperation the old man
lifted his walking stick and thwacked
Budhoose on his head and ran away.
Budhoose
was not discouraged. He continued his
search for old men waiting to
cross the road. But he became wiser
and decided to be more careful and
discrete. He walked on.
Soon he came across another old man
by the side of the road. Budhoose
approached him carefully and asked cautiously
“Uncle, are you trying to cross the road?”
“Yes son. I have been waiting here
for a long time to get some help”
Budhoose was very happy.
At last there was a good chance
to do some good to some
one who was in need.
The vision of himself living happily in heaven
passed through his mind.
He saw gorgeously dressed
old men and women
chatting with each other in the
peace and silence of heaven. He tried
to listen to their chat and talk.
Unfortunately Budhoose could not make
out even a word of the language
they were talking in.
“Walk me across the road, young man!
I have been waiting long enough”
the old man was getting impatient.
Budhoose woke up from his dreams
and asked the old man.
“Uncle do you speak Malayalam?”
“Yes, but why?” the old man asked.
“Oh,
never mind. I will take you across,
come on” Budhoose said and took his
arm and lead him across the street
to the other side.
Once on the other side of the road
Budhoose started to laugh.
“Why are you laughing?” the old man asked.
“Now I will go to heaven”
Budhoose exclaimed loud and laughed again.
“But why are you laughing?”
the old man asked again.
“Thank God you can speak Malayalam.
I will be able to talk to you at lest.
No one there seem to know any decent language”
Budhoose thanked the old man
and left looking for other old men
to confirm his entry into heaven.


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Politicaly incorrect reply


Some one has been recently sending religious propaganda mails to me possibly in the hope of making me pray to god. I am in no mood to pay to god. Espcially so since I have devil on my side.Out of sheer desperation I am postin one such letter and the reply I sent to him. I know that the whole thing is not poltically not right. those of you who got stamped on you feet, kindly pardon me. this is becasue of the desperate situation.Here I reproduce the letter I got and under that the reply I send to him. If you feel that you will be offended by my reply (you most likely will be) please stop here and do something else.

OBJECTIONALBLE MATTER BEYOND THIS POINT- discretion is adviced in reading further on. Read at your own risk. do not blame me if you feel hurt. back out if you feel not sure of yourself.

The mail said
Dear beloved brother/sister
>
> BIBLE' the greatest book in this world. We
> believe GOD inspired this scripture. ok, now our
> topic
> is mary is equal to GOD or not?very interest topic
> know?
> If you Read BIBLE carefully, mary spoke only 7
> words
> in the BIBLE.5 times mary talked and 1 is greeting
> and
> other 1 is beautiful song'Ref: New testament
> Luke book, 1st chapter 34,38,wordses' luke
> 2:48,
> john 2:3, 4, 5.
>
But JESUS spoke abundant verses in the BIBLE.
 2. mary didn't do any miracles' (No
> evidence in the BIBLE)
But JESUS did many miracles' examples: Luke
> 5:13, 6:8,7:21.
3. mary didn't select 12 disciples for
> salvation work.
But JESUS selected 12 disciples for salvation
>
work.
>4.mary didn't tell anywhere in the HOLY
> BIBLE' I AM EQUAL TO GOD'.But mary says,
> 'I am a slave of GOD(JESUS).
>
>But JESUS proclaims many times ' I AM
> GOD'.
> 5.the disciples anywhere didn't write or
> mention mary's wordses'
> But 4 gospel books, 22 disciples letters written
> JESUS'S wordes'
>6. mary was not crucified, and she didn't
> resurrect on the third day.
 
> But JESUS died for our sins through the cross and
> HE
> was resurrected on third day.
7.mary didn't overcome satan.
> But JESUS overcame satan through HIS death.
>
>BIBLE proofs, JESUS CHRIST is GOD.
>Who is mary?
>
>BIBLE says,
'mary is a blessed women, who
> found
favor also'but
>
>Not any where written 'mary is Equal to
> GOD'.
> So my dear brother and sister'kindly I
> request
> you, please WORSHIP JESUS'
> Not mary'
> Mary's recommendation was not accepted by
> JESUS on earth itself.how can her
> Recommendation be accepted in heaven?
>
>If we worship mary, she herself will condemn us on
> the judgement day'.i am not told mary is a
> ordinary women… she is blessed women in this
> world.
> because she is MOTHER of GOD. accept in my whole
> heart… but she is not GOD…she is not equal to
> GOD. JESUS is the CHRIST…. HE is the way to
> heaven… please read BIBLE carefully my dear….i
am not telling mary is a ordinary woman…. it”s lie.
surely sh is a holy mother !! mother of JESUS!! but
she is not equal to GOD. her
recommandation is not
usefull to
us…
>
> So my dear brother /sister, kindly I request you,
> please worship JESUS'. HE will
> Bless you and take care you'

My reply to the mail I got

Dear who ever you are,
I do not like advice, especially religious and unsolicited. Stop
sending this type of messages. this type of mails and messages will make many people hate you and your
venture. That hate will make them go to hell. you will be the reason
for so many people going to hell. so for your own good, stop this
hate-mary compaign.
no one likes hate mails.
why do you think jesus christ was god? any one can go around saying
that he or she is god. can any one disprove it? go to any mental
hospital and you will see many gods.
any one can print a book and claim that it is written by god. stop believing in this type of nonsense.
jesus christ was a good and compassionate man. but still he was a man and only a man.
do believe in his teachings. But stop making a god of him. he was not
a godman and an immitation saint. I am sure he himself would not have cared to be a god.
I am sure he would not aprove of your going around canvasing for him.
did he go around saying that all of you should beleive in him?
certainly not. He did not offer to give advice to any one going around. he gave advice to only those who sought his advice.
any dogma or belief that needs evangalization is doomed to fail. so
stop doing that if you want your belief to spread. show your belief in
your actions and stop going around spreading hate, discord, division
and strife. spreading hate is not what Jesus said “spread my word”
please try to understand what your christ was trying to telling you.
And finaly leave me and others alone and in peace.

P S.
But I did not sign it budhoose
I can only pity that person.' he gets no peace of mind. poor chap.

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Budhoose the Scientist


Budhoose wanted to become a scientist
and invent something important.
Budhoose was inspired by the story of
Madam Curies and her husband Curie.
They had, by their hard work, invented
some new elements and achieved fame.
Budhoose read the biography of those
great scientist and thought
“If they can invent something I too can
do it. It is a matter some hard work.
Surely there must be something to be
invented in this world”
So Budhoose went about learning
how to invent things. He put in hard
work and sleepless nights into research.
At last, after many days and nights of
sleepless toil he discovered something new.
He had spend so much money on the
research that he was left with very
little of it for himself. But he achieved
his life”s ambition.
At last it was time for him to name it.
After much thought and consideration
he named it Antimoney.
“But, Budhoose! They have already
named something as Antimony”
“What sort of scientists are you people?
Don”t you look at the spelling? The new
thing is Antimoney and not antimony.
Open your eyes and see”
Budhoose scolded them.
“We are very sorry, Budhoose! We never
realized that you are such a great a scientist.
Now we see your point. But why did you
call it by such an exotic name?”
the lesser mortals in his laboratory asked him.
Budhoose cleared his throat and asked them
“What is antimatter? Surely you know that!”
“Don”t we know it? After all you are
the one who taught us those things.
It annihilates matter when it comes
in contact with any matter”
they said in unison.
“When this stuff came in contact
with my money all the money disappeared.
Annihilated without a trace!
So what else shall we call it?”


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Words of Wisdom


Love your job but don”t love your Company
because you may not know
when your company stops loving you.
Dr. ABDUL KALAM

What is the Secret of SUCCESS… ?
“RIGHT DECISIONS”
How do you make Right Decisions…?
“EXPERIENCE”
How do you get Experience… ?
“WRONG DECISIONS
Dr. ABDUL KALAM

Without your involvement you
can”t succeed. With your involvement you
can”t fail.
Dr. ABDUL KALAM

You are not responsible for what
people think about you.
But you are responsible for what
you give them to think about you.
STANLEY FERRARD

A man is lucky if he is the first
love of a Woman.
A woman is lucky if she is the l
ast love of a man.
CHARLES DICKENS

Write your Sad times in Sand,
Write your Good times in Stone.
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

Behind every successful man,
there is an untold pain in his heart.
BILL JACOBS

It”s better to lose your Ego to the
one you Love, than to lose the one
you LOVE because of EGO.
JOHN KEATS

Don”t make promise when you
are in JOY . Don”t reply
when you are SAD.
Don”t take decisions when you
are ANGRY. Think twice, Act wise.
BE happy…!


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ultimate Sacrifice


Every night a few members of colony of Brazilian ant sacrifice their
lives in the cause of their colony. At dusk the ants seal off the

entrance to their homes with sand to make it indistinguishable from

other elements. A few worker ants remain out side to finish the job of

sealing the house. Such left behind ants at night due to exposure and

from attack by the enemies. Those are not just some ants left

accidentally behind. It is a deliberate act of self sacrifice in the

service of the society.

Difficult to believe but true.


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Quo Vadis?


Are human beings at an evolutionary dead end?
Or will Homo sapience evolve into a
better species, a better Homo scientificus?

If evolutional biologists are to be believed,
Homo sapiens evolved from something less
human into the present form through the stages of
Homo erectus, Neanderthals, Australopithecus
and who knows how many in between stages,
which went unnoticed by the all too human
anthropologists.
Not for a moment need we believe that we
are at the evolutionary peak of excellence.
We are no where near that pinnacle.

Biologist tell us that life on earth
evolved over a long duration
of time. The present generation of life
form is not the one that
appeared on the face of the earth
for the first time. Scientists tell
us that life forms must have developed
on the earth some two thousand
times before the present form
took root and evolved. All the previous
forms got destroyed under its own weight
or due to environment factors.
Will we (which means all the life
forms on the earth including us)
be the last one to develop on
this earth?
Hardly likely.

The working methods of evolution
demand that the weak and the
inefficient be weeded out - only the fit
and the strong survive and
produce progeny. This ends in a better and
possibly more selfish
edition of the older species, which comes
to dominate over the older,
less efficient one.

Translated into human scenario this
will mean the disappearance of
Homo sapiens (the present version of humans)
and the emergence of a
new species to dominate the earth
(in the unlikely case we leave an
earth fit for further habitation).

In other words we will be extinct.
You and I and our coming
generations will be extinct.

But we, the so called intelligent
beings are interfering actively in
the evolutionary biology.

When a man and woman are not able
to produce a progeny for biological
reasons they go for artificial means
of reproduction and come out with
a possibly lesser, flawed breed of
human child. A possibly invalid
child, who has a lesser chance of
survival in a tough world, gets all
social support and goes to adulthood
to propagate his/her less than
perfect genes.

I remember reading long back about
the low prevalence of cleft lip in
the primitive African communities.
That was so because a new born with
a cleft lip, for that matter any new
born with a birth defect, was
abandoned in the wilderness to perish.
The defective child had no
chance of propagating its defective genes.
But that practice does not
occur in the modern day society, which
is a more humane society.

At the same time really fit and healthy
men and women die in present
day scientific warfare and leave no
progeny to continue that healthy
germ line. Just look at the terrorists.
Are they fit and able? Are
they intelligent? Are they committed,
though in the wrong direction?
Given half a chance they would have been
exhibition class human beings. Such super
fit members of the society perish due
to the wrong training and cultural nurturing by
the society.
More such young men and women
die in road accidents. Some perfectly
fit ones are rendered lame by drug addiction
and alcoholism. None of them die in the struggle for
survival. On the other hand an unfit individual
will not be sent out to a war front,
either covert or overt and so will survive a war.

In other words the really fit ones
have equal or less than equal
chance of survival as compared
to the unfit and the unhealthy.

The humane society looks after
the unfit and the un survivable,
which is a vicious circle and which
is ironically considered as the highest
virtue of the civilised world.
It is altruism by the masses.

A million years from now what will
be the state of the human
evolution? Will we emerge as the intelligent,
thinking being that we
think we would be or will we
Homo sapience be destroyed by the
reverse selection bias
(which is our own creation)
which favours the invalid
and the and unable?


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Eye Check


My wife and I went shopping in the city.
We went to many textile shops, but did not
buy anything. Nothing was good enough.
She wanted to look up some more shops.
Looking for more shops we soon reached
the intersection where the street ended.

“There are no more shops here.
We better go back” I said.

But she did not say anything.

“We have covered all the shops” Again I said.

Still there was no answer from my wife.
That was strange. She is not one to keep
quiet for so long.

I looked back to see what was happening.
But she was not to be seen anywhere.
I crossed to the other side of the street to
look for her. I walked back a few feet to see
if she had got into some shop. I stood in the
middle of the busy road and shouted

“Hey, wife! Where are you? I do not see you
anywhere here! Have you gone home?”

Still there was no luck.

I went into a panic. I could not go home.
I did not have the key to the house. Even
if I had the key I still would be in trouble.
I did not know where food was kept.
Essentially that is what counts. And I
was feeling terribly hungry. I could have
gone to a restaurant and got something to eat.
But I would not know what to order or
how to order. Worse still I had no money
with me. Even if I had money it is against
my grain to spend for food when there is
food in the house. Standing for those noble
principles some people call me a kanjoose.
Even if I managed to satiate my hunger
I still could not go home with out her.
After all she is the master of house.
One cannot have a house with out a wife there.

So I decided to check all the shops.
But I could not locate her in any textile shops.
Suddenly I remembered that she was not
too well when we had come for the shopping.
Could she have taken ill and gone to a hospital?

I decided to check the hospitals too. So I went
into the nearest hospital.

“I came looking for my wife. I cannot
find her” I told the girl in the reception.
The helplessness on my face must have
evoked her sympathy. She said

“I understand. We will be definitely
able to help you. Come with me”

They sat me on a stool and shone a light
into my eyes. They checked my ear and rear.
They checked my Blood pressure and Blood Sugar.

“Are you not lucky?” the man who did all the checking said.
“You wear these glasses and then you
will be able to see”. And then he gave me a pair of glasses.

I wore the glasses and went out
and looked at the street.

What a wonder! I saw my wife standing
there and glaring at me. But she was very angry.

“Ah! At last I found you” I said happily.
But she was still angry.

“I know why you went in there. It was that
good looking girl there in the office”

“What! That is blasphemy” I said.
“Had they not checked and given me these
glasses I would not have found you.
Be thankful to them”


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Untitled


rajeshkumar rai said… 2:32 PM | 15/Jan/09 | |well what is the condition where male urine sample can test positive for a urine pregancy test?…any guesses?………. look for the answer or i will tell you

in the comments box of my last post rajesh kumar wrote so.

If a man can test positive with urine pregenacy test I guess men could get pregnant. oh my god, I am scared. In a way I am happy. there is a fair chance tha I would get a daughter

Please do tell us what is it that makes men pregnant. No no I do not mean how get pregnanat. Please tell us for heaven”s sake.


rajeshkumar rai Again said…

hey i
did leave the message in your guest book….well its the female harmone
producing tumour in males….akka carcinomas…level of estrogen and
progesterones can go up…excreted in urine and the you get positive
urine pregnancy test in males…it is dangerouus not good…….wel,l
out in U.S. a famous male by name of Thomas delivered a healthy baby
girl….she was miss…something…then took harmones……developed
hairs,…..removed her hreast…married a female….but left her uterus
intact….then took IVF …and became pregnant……… ha ha ha…….
if you want to get really pregnant…try transplant of uterus and
ovary,,…ha ha ha …… no scope yet…….. ha ha….i love your
posts……… fanatastic works of bhoodhoose


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Budhoose the Lab Technician.


Once Budhoose thought of
becoming a medical laboratory technician.
So he spent a few days in a lab and
called himself a lab technician.

A young man wanted to check his urine for any
illness and approached Budhoose for the test.
Budhoose gave him a bottle to collect a sample
of urine and in the mean while looked up the
laboratory manual to make doubly sure how
to test the urine sample. The page that opened
was that of testing urine for pregnancy. He read
it carefully. Very carefully.

When the urine test was complete Budhoose
asked the young man

“Are you married?”

“No, why?” the young man was very anxious.

“Surely you have a girl friend?”

The young man blushed deeply and sighed deeply.

“It is positive” Budhoose said with a very grave face.

The young man blushed even more deeply
and sighed even more deeply. From his
appearance Budhoose could make out that
he was in deep distress.
To console him Budhoose said

“Do not worry, it is only weakly positive”

The young man looked up and asked

“What does it mean, weakly positive?”

Budhoose thought for moment and
asked the young man

“What is in your hand?”

“It is a Malayalam weekly”

“What does that mean?”
Budhoose asked with authority.

“I get it once a week”
the young man said timidly.

“That is it - once a week. Just like that this too
becomes positive once a week. Just don”t worry”

“Once a week is O K, no?”

“Oh, absolutely”
Budhoose reassured him and collected the money.


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