rediff.com
Hi Guest
Log in | Sign up
Skip to content

Untitled

The Colours Of INDIA

 

“Tamils“are always proud  to be Tamizhs; Pretty courteous (that is what they  think, at least!). They  speak yenglish but sorry, no indi (Hindi)saar…what da??.The   more common Madarasi  (chennaisi…, now?) is an ardent fan of kireeketmatches.

Their counterparts in Bombay think they  live in America but speak Hinglish like …are you sure ki Sujata aa rahi hai  ya Ill go akela!” And
they take great pride in making stupid mistakes in  Hindi Grammar.



Thamizhs, are verrry lecky to have “simble” neighbours in the “keralites”who  are a komblex race of peoblle (they migrated around 2000 B.C. from the middle  east, I guess; and now even the Sheikhs feel wary of them) but they eat a lot of chooclyte and own 99.998765% of chai shops in the  world and form 99.89% of nursing community.



Not far begind the  kerals is the “telugu desam”, who are totally againesht flaunting their wealthu  to the woruldu, though they occasionally come out withu brick red shirtsu and  parrot green pantsu Generally sane peoplesu (and so you can  always findu them judgingu, probhingu, queschioningu othersu  ….)



The Canadians, excuse me, the “Kannadigas” aor (are) the  coolest dobun When it comes to Rajkumar (actor), if a fly sits on his  nose,
they’ll burn the entire city of Bengaloroo to kill the fly! To hell with
Silicon valley ! I-ron, firshtu, girlu, Lasht Bussu, roadu, crickeatu,
filamu  are some of their favourites.


“Maharashtrians” are a  conservative, confused, complex lot-kar. -Kar, that is because gavasakar,  tendulkar, bahulkar,.. confused that is because sitting in southern part of   India they would ask the other person “are you from Maharashtra or from south   India ..?” and genuinely wonder why the other person takes some time to answer  the question. They like the principles of pheejix and their favourite character in the alphabet is Zay (god knows where that came from). Although  soft, peace loving people but they elect the shivsena to rule  them.



And right there next to the Maharashtrians are the  “Gujjubhais”. They like to keep kes in the benk and their favourite past time is eating  snakes(snacks)like paav bhaji, masala papad and pijja at the local snake  bar. They gobble down palak sev like their life depends on it and believe in  the brotherhood and sisterhood of man and woman (everybody is a bhai or a ben).


If you go further eesht, the land uf Udissa - the land  of irron (”r”
unsilent) where sombalpuroa and Bhubaneshbara are big towns. The  people are bery cordial and if you are Vikram they bill soorly ask your name starts from B or  Bhe. They do not sout, sam or soot but occasnally bawsh their phace at the wasbashin. James Bond Mohanty in our colleze had a roll nomber jero, jero,sebhen.


Bengalees are bery bery similor, but or bery proud  oph Subas Chondro Boash and Shoatyojit Roy (I used to know a director by name  Satyajit Ray who was also pretty good) and eberybody is X da. I used to  habe a friend by name.Dada. Bonder…neber mind. Bot I most conphess, Roshgollas are bery goooood, tho!



Bihari kids are  supposed to be the smartest kids in India (if not in the universe!). How we  wish they grow up the same way,…but… And Biharees are bery phond of  Laloo and Ranchi , isse bhadiya tumre pass koochi hai kaa?! spit  spit...



 
Punjabis are  very sweet and aggressive and offer Rotti Shotti Khayega! to which I once  replied No. He said Tage itu, yaar! By Godu! Surjeetu, what happenedu, oi?!.  Then of course, everybodys a paappe or a kaakke. Thats Pnjab for  you.



And Kashmir (called Cashmir by many, may be because of  the amount of cash spent to keep it in India )?!? I know Roja (or Roza?)was  shot (I mean filmed) somewhere nearby…

 

 



But at the  end of the day, wherever you are in the world, whether it is in
Sunnyvale ,   CA ; Birmingham , UK ; UmmAl Quwain, UAE or Serangoon Road ,
Singapore , ask them  who they are and you’ll get just one answer —
“INDIANS”



AFTER ALL HUM SAAB EK HAIN!!

RIGHT………………..

 

 

 

 

Posted in Fun.

53 comments

By manisha sharma – November 12, 2007


Just Wanna Say

Just Wanna Say………………

Across the Miles,
You have bought me Smile ..

You have wiped my tears by lending an ear…
Although my voice u have never heard…
You have listened carefully to my
Thoughts
My feelings
My words
And I want You to know,
That I m glad
That we have meet..
Coz my heart is
Happy deep down inside……….


And you are a treasure my friend
And that's not a lie..
Thanks for your friendship
And thanks for being YOU……….

Posted in Friends.

35 comments

By manisha sharma – October 25, 2007


know yourself

MEANING OF “YOU”

 

Instructions : What you do is find out what each letter of your name means.Then connect all the meanings and it describes YOU. ( Is’nt it GREAT !!)If you have double or triple letters, just count the meaning once.

 
———— —————————
A = You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
B = You are always cautious when it comes to meeting newpeople .
C = You definitely have a partier side in you, don’t be shy to show it.
D = You have trouble trusting people.
E = You are a very exciting person.
F = Everyone loves you.
G = You have excellent ways of viewing people.
H = You are not judgmental.
I = You are always smiling and making others smile.
J = Jealously
K = You like to try new things.
L = Love is something you deeply believe in.
M = Success comes easily to you.
N = You like to work, but you always want a break.
O = You are very open-minded.
P = You are very friendly and understanding.
Q = You are a hypocrite.
R = You are a social butterfly.
S = You are very broad-minded.
T = You have an attitude, a big one.
U = You feel like you have to equal up to people’s standards.
V = You have a very good physique and looks.
W = You like your privacy.
X = You never let people tell you what to do.
Y = You cause a lot of trouble.

Z = You’re always fighting with someone .

 

 

 

************************************************

*********************************************

 

 Anew vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of the street.

A tall lady answered the door.

Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet.

“Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will eat all this s…!” exclaimed the eager salesman.

Do you need chilli sauce or ketchup with that” asked the lady.

The bewildered salesman asked, “Why, Madam?“

“We just moved in, & there’s no electricity in the house!”

 


Moral : Gather all required information before working on any project..

 

Posted in Fun.

26 comments

By manisha sharma – October 12, 2007


Fried Eggs……….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

“Careful,” he said,

 “CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!

You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!

 

We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?

They’re going to STICK!

Careful…CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL!

 

You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up!

 

Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt.

 

USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!!

THE SALT!!!”


 

 

The wife stared at him.

 “What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?”



The husband calmly replied,

“I wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving.”

 

 

 

Posted in Fun.

48 comments

By manisha sharma – October 3, 2007


The Four Letter Word

What Is True Love?

 

 

I can picture the day.
a limo pulling up to take him and me 
white clusters of flowers on the pews,
tears in my eyes, in lavender chiffon….

Oops. That’s an important part, huh?

L O V E

It’s a commonly thrown around four-letter word.
“I love him”
or
“I love her.”

 

 

 

What Is Real Love?
And is there a difference between that and the
heart-pounding adrenaline rush you feel when u see…?
  That hot guy playing basketball at the gym…
the cute girl who makes eye contact as she passes by…

There are a few things love isn’t.



 

Love Isn’t A Feeling.
Although real love is often accompanied by strong feelings,
love does not equate with the sense of floating on clouds.
Unlike the type of love that movies, television,
and songs portray, people in love don’t
always feel ooey gooey around each other.

 

 

A relationship wouldn’t last long on emotions.
In fact, knowledge is the basis
of a healthy relationship.

 

Knowing about the other person is key.
we used to and sometimes still do
“Fall In love”
with girl/guy that we have never had a conversation with,
whether it be a movie star in the latest romantic
drama or the girl sitting behind you in a class.
we would know his/her name and face,
and that was the extent of our knowledge.
If we were to start a relationship with them,
who knows where that would lead us!

 

Knowing about the person’s personality and
character are so important.
One good test is to list the qualities that attract
us to that guy or girl.
If the list is long, we know a lot
about them and like those things.
If the list is short,
we either don’t know a lot about them or
we know a lot but aren’t attracted to his or her personality.

 

Another important factor in a
relationship is common life goals.

 

If the relationship is going to be long term,
we ought to be going in the same
general direction as the other person.
If his dream is to travel as an international
businessman and she wants to be a realtor in a single location,
conflict could arise.
If she wants to live in the
countryside with nature and he likes the hustle
and bustle of a big city,
there are potentially serious problems
with the direction of the couple’s lives.

 

 

 

Love is a choice. It’s a commitment.


Although feelings will accompany love, and although
sex will be a part of marriage, a lasting,
healthy relationship cannot be based on these things.

 

 

 

TRUE LOVE 101%
What does it take to be that significant other?

 

Infactuation

·                                **         Sees the other person as perfect

·                                **          Wants to get own needs met; selfish

·                                **          Spends all time with the other person

·                                **         Quickly “falls” for the other person

·                                **        Other relationships and friendships deteriorate

·                                **         Dependence on the other person causes Jealousy frequently

·                                **          Lasts for a short period of time

·                                **          Distance strains and often puts an end to the relationship

·                                **        Quarrels are serious and common

·                                **        Quarrels can seriously damage the relationship

 

 

Love

 

·                                **        Sees the other person’s flaws and still loves them

·                                **          Wants to serve the other person; selfless

·                                **         Still spends time with others

·                                **         Takes time to build the relationship

·                                **         Other relationships and friendships grow stronger

·                                **          Trust and understanding results in less severe and less frequent jealousy

·                                **          Encompasses a long-term commitment

·                                **           Survives and sometimes is strengthened because of distance

·                                **         Quarrels are less serious and less often

·                              **            Quarrels can strengthen the relationship

 

Infatuation can be so tempting.


But the question is,

Do I want a lasting,satisfying relationship?

If so, infatuation isn’t the answer.
Look at your relationships through the grid above.
Infatuation isn’t a bad thing,
as long as we don’t base a relationship on it.

 

 

 

Perhaps finding real love begins with God,
the one who created relationships.

Now making relationship is also difficult one,

hmmmmmmmm

Posted in Personal.

22 comments

By manisha sharma – September 28, 2007


Untitled

To make a woman happy………….. a man only needs to be:


1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organizer

Posted in Fun.

39 comments

By manisha sharma – September 19, 2007


At The Beer Festival

 

At The Beer Festival……………..

 

 

After the Great Beer Festival in London, all the brewery bosses decided to go out for a beer.

The guy from Corona sits down and says, “Hey Seņor! I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona.”

The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and opens it for him .

The guy from Budweiser says, “I’d like the most refreshing beer in the world, give me ‘The King Of Beers’, a Budweiser.”

The bartender serves him.

The guy from Coors says, “I’d like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors.”

He gets it.

Our Vijay Mallaya sits down, looks around and says, “Give me a Coke.”



The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.

The other brewery bosses look over at him and ask, “Why aren’t you drinking a Kingfisher?”

“Well,” says the Kingfisher Brewery Boss, “if you guys aren’t drinking beer, neither will I!” 

 

 

 

Posted in Fun.

35 comments

By manisha sharma – September 6, 2007


LOVE

I’m not begging you to Love Me,

I’m not really even asking You.

But, isn’t it allright,

If I cherish that Hope in my Heart?

If I dream of just Holding Your Hand,

It will hurt Me-not You.

I will try to keep My Eyes from Shining.

When they see You.

And I promise

I will not try to smile a Speacial Smile

When U say Hello,

but, please

Don’t ask me

Not to Love You………………

Posted in Personal.

40 comments

By manisha sharma – August 17, 2007


Newton committed suicide……..WHY????????????

 

 

Here is the reason.
Why Newton Committed Suicide…..

Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.

In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes

1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can’t be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody’s surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajanikanth!

2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters.
Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife.

Guess, what he does?

He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.

3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your remotest imaginations.

He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun.
Bang… the gangster dies…

This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn’t changed. Oops, not so fast!

The ‘climax’ finally arrives.
Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can’t jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it’s the climax.
( Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?)

Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and

the villain is dead…………………


Posted in Fun.

35 comments

By manisha sharma – August 8, 2007


LIFE…







A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a Loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open.

He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep
it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot
the matter.

The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by
its colour and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine
meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother
hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She
was terrified how to face her husband.

When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child,



he looked at his wife and uttered just five words.




What were the five words?

Scroll down…



Down..




Down…





The husband just said

” I am with you Darling”

The husband’s totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behaviour.

The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened.

No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband.

That is what he gave her.

If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world.


Remember always that
life is not that easy to understand as it seems…


so keep smiling always…..
n never ever hurt ur dear ones……..





Posted in Facts.

134 comments

By manisha sharma – May 15, 2007