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• A pat on the back develops character, especially if administered often enough and low enough


• Give some people and inch and they think they�re rulers


• Money can be lost in more ways than won


• High heels were invented by a girl who had just been kissed on the forehead


• The trouble with opportunity is � it looks bigger going than coming


• To make ur dreams come true, u have to stay awake


• If ur outgo exceeds your income, then ur upkeep will be ur downfall


• Soft soap is the best thing for dirty looks


• There is nothing swifter on the take off than a bus you�ve just missed


• Getting up in the morning is simply a matter of mind over mattress


• The trouble with lipstick is � it doesn�t


• The four seasons are: pepper, salt, vinegar, and mustard


• To forget all your other troubles, try wearing a pair of shoes that are a size too small


• A waiter is a man who believes that  money grows on trays


• A flirt is a girl who believes in every man for herself


• Gargling with a good mouthwash is a very efficient way to find out if ur neck leaks


• Little boys who never tell the truth grow up to work for the weather bureau


• Some fellows will be glad to show u how to get rich, if you�ll only lend them a pencil


• The trouble with being punctual is that there is nobody to appreciate it.


• Nothing can ever be quite as empty as a postbox


• Etiquette is the noise u don�t make when you�re eating soup


• A hobby is something you go goofy over to keep from going nuts over things in general


• The dictionary is the only place where you�ll find success before work

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