Friends' Update
-
Loading ...Please wait..
‘Self Appraisal’ …
A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled
it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could
reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in ten-digits (phone
numbers).
The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:
Boy: ‘Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?
Woman: (at the other end of the phone line): ‘I already have someone to
cut my lawn.’
Boy: ‘Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts
your lawn now.’
Woman: I’m very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting my
lawn.
Boy: (with more perseverance) : ‘I’ll even sweep your curb and your
sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm
beach, Florida.’
Woman: No! , thank you.
With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver.
The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy.
Store Owner: ‘Son… I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and
would like to offer you a job.’
Boy: ‘No thanks’.
Store Owner: But you were really pleading for one.
Boy: No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the job I already have.
I am the one who is working for that lady, I was talking to!’
This is what we call ‘Self Appraisal’ …
Posted in Analysis.
– October 25, 2008
AntiReservation
AntiReservation
*MAY BE THE FUTURE IS LIKE THIS*
*Sun is rising as usual in the east, I’m standing here outside the school, waiting for my 10 yr kid. He studies in class 2. Only this year he could get admission into the school. For the last 5 yrs, admissions were closed for the general category students. School bell rings. I can see a lot of happy children coming out of the gate, I waited for half an hour and my kid came at last after other children. Genaral students are not allowed to cross the gate unless other OBC/SC/ST students have crossed the gates. OBC/SC/ST fathers drive away their children in classy cars. But I have to walk back home with my kid a 5km stretch. I lost my car some years back when Govt. came with a rule that general people have to deposit a tax equal to cost of their cars. Failing which I had to sell the car. As far as buses are concerned, the seats in buses are reserved for OBC/SC/ST. So no place there also.
After walking some 5km in scorching heat I finally reached home. It was Wednesday … shit , no electricity. Every Mon, Wed, Thus and Sat is power cut in the houses of General category population. So that SC/ST/OBC can be uplifted by providing them with every opportunity and in that consideration electricity is an important factor.
Its 10:00 pm in night no electricity at home. Its very hot inside the four walls of home, So I dare to step out in park with my wife and kid. I get seated myself with my family on a secluded bench in garden. It was hardly 5
min … a guard came to us stroling in the park. He asked me what caste you belong to. I said with some hesitation .. G..General. He asked me to pay a fine of Rs.200 and get out of the park. My Fault… The bench I was sitting on was meant for again the SC/ST/OBC. For their upliftment, peace of mind is an essential thing. So Govt. came with this decision to reserve benches for them. Kudos to them…
Its early in the morning …the newspaper wala just knocked the door. I took the newspaper and started reading, its independence day. I never used to forget this days some 20 yrs back. My kid hardly knows what
15th August is, because I never told him any stories of greatness of our country or anything related to country. I don’t feel like telling him the failures after freedom. On front page of newspaper, in a corner their is a news about a OBC member getting 6 months imprisonment in “BAL SUDHAR GRAHA” from a juvenile
court for murdering and raping a six year old girl. Yes the rules have been amended, since the last 5 years. The Culprit was a 25 year old OBC so age relaxation was provided for trial of crime. So he was taken to juvenile court, since there is an age relaxation for OBC/SC/ST. About 11 am some one gave me the BAD news about demise of one of my neighbor and friend Mr. Mehta. I went to his house for condolence next day, his body was lying there still rotting in the heat. I asked his son about the Cremation .His son told me ” Many reserved category have died yesterday so we are not getting entry to creamtion ground “. This rule is the latest from Govt. Where the seats in creamtion ground will be reserved for SC/ST/OBC for their upliftment. Finally next day Mehtaji was creamted. I could see the sun setting through the Flames burning a libarated Body, liberated from caste n creed. I was surprised sun still sets in the west?
It was about 9 pm, I was about to sleep in my bed my son came to me with innocence in his eyes, inquisitively he asked me the question: “what is reservation?” I asked me where u listened that. He suddenly burst in tears .. I asked him to keep.. quiet. But I could listen through his sobs “mujhe bhi reservation chahiye”. How can I convince him its no other toy in the market I can get for him? He kept crying that night, claiming many of his classmates have got reservation”. To make him quiet I said ok, I’ll buy you reservation at your next B’ day. HOPE he understands the bloody concept soon.
RESERVATION SUCKS-PLEASE SPREAD THIS MESSAGE
Posted in jago re jago re jago.
– September 24, 2008
Vanilla Ice Cream that puzzled General motors!!!!
Vanilla Ice Cream that puzzled General motors!!!!
An Interesting Story - Never underestimate your Clients’ Complaint, no matter how funny it might seem!
This is a real story that happened between the customer of General Motors
and its Customer-Care Executive. Pls read on…..
A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors: ‘This is the second time I have written to you, and I don’t blame you for not answering me, because I sounded crazy, but it is a fact that we have a tradition in our family of Ice-Cream for dessert after dinner each night, but the kind of ice cream varies so, every night, after we’ve eaten, the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have and I drive down to the store to get it. It’s also a fact that I recently purchased a new Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a problem….. You see, every time I buy a vanilla ice-cream, when I start back from the store my car won’t start. If I get any other kind of ice cream, the car starts just fine. I want you to know I’m serious about this question, no matter how silly it sounds “What is there about a Pontiac that makes it not start when I get vanilla ice cream, and easy to start whenever I get any other kind?” The Pontiac President was understandably skeptical about the letter, but sent an Engineer to check it out anyway.
The latter was surprised to be greeted by a successful, obviously well educated man in a fine neighborhood. He had arranged to meet the man just after dinner time, so the two hopped into the car and drove to the ice cream store. It was vanilla ice cream that night and, sure enough, after they came back to the car, it wouldn’t start.
The Engineer returned for three more nights. The first night, they got chocolate. The car started. The second night, he got strawberry. The car started. The third night he ordered vanilla. The car failed to start.
Now the engineer, being a logical man, refused to believe that this man’s car was allergic to vanilla ice cream. He arranged, therefore, to continue his visits for as long as it took to solve the problem. And toward this end he began to take notes: He jotted down all sorts of data: time of day, type of gas uses, time to drive back and forth etc.
In a short time, he had a clue: the man took less time to buy vanilla than any other flavor. Why? The answer was in the layout of the store. Vanilla, being the most popular flavor, was in a separate case at the front of the store for quick pickup. All the other flavors were kept in the back of the store at a different counter where it took considerably longer to check out the flavor.
Now, the question for the Engineer was why the car wouldn’t start when it took less time. Eureka - Time was now the problem - not the vanilla ice cream!!!! The engineer quickly came up with the answer: “vapor lock”.
It was happening every night; but the extra time taken to get the other flavors allowed the engine to cool down sufficiently to start. When the man got vanilla, the engine was still too hot for the vapor lock to
dissipate.
Even crazy looking problems are sometimes real and all problems seem to be simple only when we find the solution, with cool thinking.
Don’t just say it is “IMPOSSIBLE” without putting a sincere effort…. Observe the word “IMPOSSIBLE” carefully…. Looking closer you will see, “I’M POSSIBLE”…
What really matters is your attitude and your perception. So never be shy to ask out ur questions.
Posted in Blogs.
– July 22, 2008
5 FACTS IN THE WORLD…..!! !
5 FACTS IN THE WORLD…..!! !
Fact 1: You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue
.Fact 2 : After reading the first fact, all fools try it.
Fact 3: Fact 1 is false ha ha ha ha ha….!
Fact 4: Now you are laughing… bcoz you became a fool!!!
Fact 5: You are going to forward this now coz you don’t wanna be the only fool
…
Cheers!
Posted in Fun.
– May 13, 2008
Cheeni Kum / Happy Diwali
I hope everyone of you had seen CHEENI KUM, if not then here is a chance of you all people to have the visual treat of it.
WISHING EVERYONE HERE A VERY HAPPY, PROSPEROUS , SPARKLING, FRUITFUL DIWALI.
DDHHHHHOOOMMMMMMMM!
Posted in Festive Season.
– November 8, 2007
“Most Embarrassing Moment in human life”
There was a World wide survey of
“Most Embarrassing Moment in human life”
and the final three incidents are ….
Third Place
“It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my
parents had g! one out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for
a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the
telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her
a piggy-back ride to the phone. Since we didn’t want to miss the call, we
didn’t have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs,
the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of peop le yelled
“SURPRISE!”.
My entire family, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all of my
friends were standing there ! My girlfriend and I were frozen to the spot
in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity.
Since then, no-one in my family has planned a surprise party again.”
Second Place
“While in line at the bank one afternoon, my kid decided to release some
pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally able to grab hold of
her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I
told her that if she didn’t start behaving herself right now, she would be
punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just
as threatening, “If you don’t let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that
I saw you kissing Daddy’s pee-pee(dick) last night!”.
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the
tellers stopped what the! y were doing ! I mustered the last of my dignity
and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing that I
heard as the door closed behind me were the screams of laughter.”
And the Winner is…
This one actually happened at Harvard University in October last year. In a
biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose
levels found in semen. A young female (freshman), raised her hand and
asked, “If I understand what you are saying, there is a lot of glucose in
male
semen, as in sugar?” “That’s correct.” responded the professor, going on to
add! much statistical data. Raising her hand again, the sweet young thing
asked, “Then why doesn’t it taste sweet?”. After a stunned silence, the
whole class burst ou t laughing, the poor girl turned bright red and as she
realized exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she
picked up her books without a word and walked out of the class, and never
returned.
However, as she was going out of the door, the professor’s reply was a
classic. Totally straight-faced, he answered her question, “It doesn’t
taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your
tongue and not in the back of your throat!
Cheers……….
Posted in Fun.
– October 24, 2007
Really Cool Link!
This is a really cool link, click right now and check this out.!
http://www.crushcalculator.com/content/love/241628867
i m waiting eagerly for ur comments!
Posted in Friends.
– August 9, 2007
Isko bhi salary hike chahiye!!!
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge head first into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
I am willing to work any shift.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
The response:
Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised,
the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated work area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative, you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave your workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don’t always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
And if that were not enough, you have been constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
Posted in Gud Non Veg!!!.
– July 10, 2007
PUT THE GLASS DOWN TODAY!
Once A professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water
in it.He held it up for all to see; asked the students, “How much do you think this glass weighs?
‘50gms!’ ?….’100gms!’ …..’125gms’ ……the students answered.
‘I really don’t know unless I weigh it,’ said the professor, ‘but, my question is: What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?’
“Nothing” the students said.OK what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?’ the professor asked.Your arm would begin to ache’ said one of the students.
You’re right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?’ Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis; have to go to hospital for sure! ventured another student ; all the students laughed.Very good.
But during all this, did the weight of the glass change? Asked the professor.No replied the students Then what caused the arm ache; the muscle stress?’
Instead What should I do? The students were puzzled. Put the glass down! said one of the students.
Exactly!’
said the professor’ Life’s problems are something like this. Hold it for a few minutes in your head; they seem OK. Think of them for a long time; they begin to ache.
Hold it even longer; they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything.
It’s important to think of the challenges (problems) in your life, but EVEN MORE IMPORTANT to ‘put them down’ at the end of every day before you go to leep.
That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh; strong; can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!
Remember friend- PUT THE GLASS DOWN TODAY!
EVEN MORE IMPORTANT to ‘put them down’ at the end of every day before you go to sleep.That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh; strong; can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!
Remember friend- PUT THE GLASS DOWN TODAY!
Posted in I'M MY HAPPINESS.
– May 5, 2007