Enthuindian’s blog

Recently one of my sweetest friend messaged me that saying ‘sorry’ to her doesn’t suit
me. I care for her and I thought she may be hurt by one of my statement so I
told her sorry and meant it. 

I
was touched by her gesture of respect and love towards me. Most of the time we
don’t like to say sorry and we don’t always mean it, but despite the oft-quoted
promise, love DOES mean saying you’re sorry.

If folk feel that saying sorry reduces the
status they receive from others, or bring their judgment into query - what sort
of folk CAN say sorry readily? Are we able to expect it? Maybe the answer lies
deeper than a person’s observation of how they will be viewed.

What are the explanations for apologies?
Therapist advocates the 2 positive reasons we say sorry include the need to
revive or salvage a relationship and / or a deep seated understanding in which
your apology may relieve or lessen the discomfort you have caused. The less
excellent reasons for an apology include the need to escape punishment or the
necessity to clear a guilty conscience - whether the other party was upset or
not.

Obviously the 1st two
explanations for saying sorry make great claims toward making cheerful, healthy
relations. Whether we are brought up to trust in admitting our guilt or not,
taking a humble view of ourselves to benefit a relationship or an individual
whom we’ve hurt is critical in maintaining respect for each other.

While some people may not
demand apologies from their partners, maybe because they also believe it
shouldn’t be needed, there’s a loss of respect between the couple when an
apology is left unsaid. The shocked hasn’t had their discomfort recognized by
the one they adore. The offender now lives with the guilt or may begin to
believe that their partner isn’t deserving of such confirmation.

In both cases, the
relationship suffers.

Accepting one another,
faults and all, is a very important part of a loving and pleasurable
relationship. Not keeping total of mistakes or judging deficiencies has its
place, but an eagerness to say sorry for lapses of responsibility or good
judgment will brace, instead of weaken, the bonds of a good relationship.

Alex Gomes

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Teaching Reading First - What You Can Do

We introduced our son to reading at an early age, well, as running is the mother of all games in the same way reading is the foundation of all intelligence . Initially we use to read story books, comics, bedtimes stories etc and gradually we took him to bookstore where he used to select the books as per his picture and color liking. At the age of seven he landed up in Crossword Book Store and as on today he is a voracious reader.

The benefits: Reading has made him very matured, more focused, great vocabulary, understanding, it has increased his discipline, creativity, memory and has build his self esteem. Above all “The Reading Habit” has helped him in his studies and in Tennis Game significantly (He is pursuing his studies in US University on tennis scholarship)

As you know, it is extremely important to establish good reading habits in your child early on. Without good reading skills a child’s entire learning process is really put behind the proverbial eight ball.

Let’s look at some of the best ways you can help your child to develop good
reading skills.

First of all, make reading a daily activity. And above and beyond that try to make it during the same time frame each day. And this should not just be reading bedtime stories either. Bedtime stories are excellent, but get together and read with your child when they have more mental energy. In today’s busy times, make the reading time that you spend with your child something special.
If you do, the rewards will come back many times over.

When your child is reading to you, patience is the key. As your child works to get through words they don’t necessarily recognize, give them a chance to think about it and sound it out. Don’t just immediately tell them what the word is; you’ll just become a reading crutch for them.

And by the way, don’t always have the child reading to you.

You’ll want to read to your child as well, and have them paraphrase back to you what you have read. This will give you a barometer of their listening and comprehension level. So, trade-off who reads to whom… again make reading time special, relaxing, and most of all enjoyable!

When it comes to developing good reading habits and your child, two words come to mind… encourage and praise.

When in doubt… see above.

Children love to please their parents and hear the praises of putting forth a good effort. Let them know. Never run the risk that your child may feel as though they have failed or are failing you.

Even when you aren’t actually reading talk to your child about their favorite story or the current reading you are working on with them. Have them tell you about the story and their favorite part, talk about the characters, talk about what they think is going to happen in the story. This will build excitement about reading and wanting to get back to their story. Take the time to reinforce any
new words the child has learned. This will build their vocabulary and increase their comprehension abilities.

Although somewhat down on the list, but just as important, is that you should be a reading model. It’s amazing how many parents simply missed the boat with this one.

Remember, you are your child’s hero.

For them to see in you that you truly enjoy reading cannot be understated. If you haven’t, pick up a book and read your book while curled up with your child reading theirs.

This is huge.

And finally, if you haven’t noticed by now… make reading fun. Make it relaxing. Make it special.

If you can, dedicate a reading spot in your home just for you and your child to read. Even take it a step further and set up a spot in your home for your child’s own personal library. Decorate it as such and make it very special for them.

Reading that begins early pays dividends for a lifetime. Start laying the foundation of success for your child today.

Love, Peace & Prosperity,

Positively

Alex Gomes

http://gomesee.wordpress.com/
http://allangomes.wordpress.com/

We live in a world filled by cruel and mean people. People who make caustic statements, utter cutting remarks and air unkind comments.

We live in a world of broken promises, broken marriages and broken homes.

It’s a world of never ending problems, filled with people who have lost their jobs because of peer jealousy and people who have been cheated out of their life’s savings.

It’s a world filled with children estranged from their parents and parents estranged from their children. It’s a world filled with families whose members don’t even speak to each other anymore, and close friends who have drifted apart.

Invariably, all the cruelty and meanness done to us leads us to anger and hatred, towards our tormentors. It leads us to bitterness, frustration and sleepless nights. Eventually, it leads to ulcers, high blood pressure, migraines, cancer, and lots more.

Modern psychology and medical research has proved, beyond any doubt, that most sickness in man is due to broken relationships. Painful memories and thoughts destroy us and make us sick. So does rejection and hurtful words from our family, friends and colleagues.

Scientists and researchers tell us that there are numerous health hazards associated with anger, hatred and bitterness. They say it increases blood pressure and leads to hormonal changes which eventually result in cardiovascular disease, immune suppression, and possibly, impaired neurological
function and memory loss.

There is a close relationship between emotions and disease. We run to doctors and hospitals, and spend loads of money but we get no relief. We have to realize that the only real cure for our malady is total forgiveness of our perceived tormentors.

Forgive my tormentors? Yes, for this is the only way to release them from your life and set yourself free. It’s not easy to forgive people who have hurt you and caused you so much pain, but it’s possible if we focus on Jesus Christ hanging on the cross at Golgotha.

What happened that day was unforgivable, but no finer, purer or better example of forgiveness can you find than Jesus, hanging on the cross, close to death, praying to His Father in heaven to forgive the very people who were putting Him to death!

Condemned to death by these evil men who wanted Him dead, convicted by lying witnesses who testified falsely against Him, Jesus looked down on the mob who were taunting, mocking, jeering and cheering His sufferings, and the only truly innocent and sinless man who ever walked this sinful earth, uttered words that still melt the hardened hearts of sinners: “Father, forgive them, for they
do not know what they are doing” (Lk 23 : 34).

These dozen words still ring across 2,000 years, and shatter into smithereens all our lame excuses for not forgiving those who ill-treat us and hurt us, for continuing to carry our burdens of bitterness, anger, and our desire for vengeance.

Yes, forgiveness is never easy. But, it becomes easier when we realize that forgiveness is not about us, and it’s not about those who hurt us. Forgiveness is all about God.

Jesus said, “If you forgive others the wrongs they have done you, your Father in heaven will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive the wrongs you have done” (Matt 6 : 14 - 15). Then He went ahead and put into practice what He had preached, on the cross at Golgotha.

Your forgiveness doesn’t depend on the person who you wish to forgive. You don’t need their permission to forgive them. You neither need their approval nor their agreement that they were wrong.

Today, we live in a world of plastic cards, especially Credit cards and ATM cards. When we need money we go to the Automatic Teller Machine and withdraw what we need. We have instant money in our hands. That’s why we call them Any Time Money cards.

But, few of us know that in our hearts we have an automatic dispensing machine, too, and it responds only to our Any Time Mercy card. So, choose forgiveness in your heart, flash your Any Time Mercy card, forgive your tormentors, and move on to a healthy and stress-free life.

Positively
Alex Gomes

Do Visit
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Gomesee’s Weblog

Buddies Joint

A Movie of Salman Khan named “Hello” has been released and
in that movie a call comes from GOD in the call centre …

Does God really speak, and if He does, what does He sound like?

God is always speaking. There are many recorded instances of God speaking from
the beginning of time until the present day. Yet hearing God is something that
most people struggle with from time to time.

When you pray, it can seem as though you’re just talking to yourself. Yet God
does hear you when you pray, even if you can’t hear Him, so even though it
might seem as though you’re talking to yourself, God does hear you.

How can I be sure that God hears me?

If you follow God, then God’s Spirit lives within you.

“I will ask the Father and He will give you another counselor, who will
never leave you. He is the Holy Spirit who leads you into all truth…you know
and recognize Him because He lives within you.” John 14:16-17.

So, if you follow God, the Spirit of God lives within you and speaks with you.

How do I hear God?

Most people don’t usually hear an audible voice; they generally hear God
through their thoughts. The question then is, “How do I know it’s God’s
thoughts rather than mine?”

The easiest way of knowing whether what you hear is likely to be from God is to
check that what you sense in your spirit lines up with God’s word and His
character. To be able to do that, you need to be familiar with what the Bible
says.

What does the voice of God sound like?

The voice of God in your spirit is kind and peaceful. It is warm and loving.
Sometimes you will just know that you know because you have a quiet assurance.
While God may convince you of wrong doing, He will never condemn you, so reject
any condemning thoughts, they do not originate with God.

Wisdom and hearing God come from The Spirit of God within you.

Usually, when you make a decision based on hearing God you will have a sense of
peace rather than unrest. Confusion and inner turmoil are not from God. When
the Spirit of God speaks to you, He prompts you, gives you a nudge or plants an
idea that is a good answer to a question, or gives you direction or
understanding.

God is a God of love. ( I wonder about Terrorist’s God, how terrible he must be) If what you hear contradicts God’s character, it probably
isn’t from God. Here’s what Corinthians says about love:

Love never gives up

Love cares more about other people than self

Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have

Doesn’t have a swelled head

Doesn’t force itself in others

Isn’t always “me first”

Doesn’t fly off the handle

Doesn’t keep score of people’s wrongs

Trusts God always

Always looks for the best

Never looks back

Keeps going to the end

If you’re hearing something that contradicts what love would do, you’re
probably not hearing from God. God is speaking all the time, it’s just a matter
of learning how to tune into His thoughts and recognize His voice.

I am Still to watch ‘hello’, by the way I luv Salman more than Salu Miya

Positively
Alex Gomes

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kuch rishte

KuchRishte upar wala banata hai

Kuch Rishte Log banate hain Par

kuch Log bina koi Rishte ke hi Rishte

Nibhate hain, Shayad wohi Dost kehlate hain

woh dillnashi hamara imtehan

woh dilnashi hamara imtehan kya legi

nazre mili to nazre jhuka legi

use hamari kabr pe diya jalane mat dena yaaro

abhi woh nadan hai kahi apna hath jala legi

Tum banke

Tum banke dost aise aaye zindagi me

ke hum yeh zamana hi bhool gaye

tumhe yaad aaye na aaye hamari kabhi

par hum toh tumhe bhulana hi bhool gaye

Dosti

Pag pag me phool khile

khushiyan aapko itni mile

kabhi na ho dukhon ka samna

hai aapke liye dosti ki shubh kamana

Apne dil
Apne dil ki baat hum unse keh nahi sakte

Bin kahe bhi jee nahi sakte

“HUM AAPKE BINA REH NAHI SAKTE”

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BIGG BOSS = “Other Is Hell”

So True ' 'Other Is HELL'

I have been watching 'BIG BOSS' Soap since couple of weeks and it is becoming very interesting as it has come to the height of 'Other Is HELL'

My favorite Characters are, 
Diana ' Great Character,
Raja ' Very impulsive and justifies his words with immediate action ' fearing nothing,
 Rahul Mahajan' chip off the old block,
Payal - perfect example of being in illusion that she is 'Cool' ,
Sambhavana ' Opportunistic person.

The above Para is the perfect example that how ' Other Is HELL' for Mr. Gomes.

It is often difficult to refrain from being judgmental of others when their behaviors and characteristics are so different from our own. At these times it is good to remember that each one of us is unique. Each of us have our own abilities that we were born with, distinct behaviors, and personal interests as well as flaws and levels of interest from no interest at all to a very high interest level in any number of subjects.

The behaviors and characteristics of each of us are influenced by our own particular unique abilities, background and experiences, and our culture. While we tend to categorize and organize all things, including the characteristics of people, it is important to remember that every person is unique.

While we may be impatient and become irritated or angry with those we encounter socially, those with whom we work, or other adults that we live with or are joined with through family
relationships, it is much better if we can learn to relax and let go. Allow yourself to be accepting of them just the way they are, and know that they are on their own path. You are not responsible for their behaviors or their characteristics.

When Raja Choudhary was in the Secret Room for 3 days an astounding fact has been revealed –

Holding onto judgmental feelings which cause us to become irritated or angry at others is unhealthy physically and mentally. It serves no worthwhile purpose and only alienates the possibility of coming to an understanding of one another ' 'Other Is Hell'

HOWEVER, It is good that we are different. The differences that exist in humans are displayed in the seeds of creativity and changes that make the world interesting and continuously new.This is the reason sometimes I am bored with other members of the 'BIG BOSS' as nothing is happening, life is a happening event '.

Please do not take that reacting with judgment and anger (like Raja or Sambhavana), it is far better, whenever possible, to attempt to open communication and get to know from a deeper level the
source and reasoning behind someone else’s behaviors. This communication, however, must be done without judgment, because behaving or speaking from a judgmental viewpoint anywhere in the communication will defeat the purpose.

So the best is to relax, develop a sense of humor about the differences, learn to appreciate the positive aspects, and above all, know that you are not responsible for their behaviors and must not attempt to make yourself responsible. You are ok, and they are ok.

I hope Raja Choudhary be able to read this piece of writing ' I love You Raja and pray to GOD for your well being and moreover for the Unity and Happiness of your family.

Positively
Alex Gomes

Do Visit

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Gomsee’s Weblog

Buddies Joint

I feel very sad and dejected about the happenings on the
Christians nowadays in our country.

I am born in Catholic Family and practice my catholic faith.
However, I have read Tuldidas Ramayan number of times, Garud Puran, Gita,
Ganesh Puran and books on Hanumanji. I have studied the Muslim faith and take
part in discussion with Muslim friends during Roza and enjoy hearing Gurubani
from my Officer who is a Sikh.

This is not my self appraisal but just wanted to say
religion is only a thinking pattern at a certain period, however, religion
conveys nothing else but the experience (Anubhuti) with the Creator (The
Energy) and everything else is symbolic (Pratik). All holy books are true but NOT
the TRUTH. TRUTH can only be felt, the occurrence of oneness
with the Creator.

I enjoy a lot and feel blissful. I feel complete. My heart
and mind dance together, it is ecstasy of the seventh heaven.

Never heard Krishna and Jesus had fought …. Then why we?

We all are Sudamas of Shri Krishna and the Lost Sheep of Jesus.

Dear Ilanders Life means love, happiness … just think taking
out love from this 70 years of life means a bundle of useless experience

Evil is a fixed, … rigid, … singular, … selfish point of
view that causes destruction in its ravenous greed for power.

It has insoluble self-righteous pride and gives
condescending, … blaming, … and demagogic speeches.

Evil is always on the mission of blind ambition and prefers ignorance,
… denial, … deceit, … injustice, … inhumanity, … and insanity to admitting any
mistake.

Evil explains its irrationality by using words such as
purity, … morality, … safety, … protection, … and one of the favorite
ex-pressions of evil is … “good vs. evil!” … Evil is the blind leading
the blind, leading to the downfall of all.

Everyone has his or her role to play and throughout history
evil has been allowed to play a major one.

Realize change is possible, and thus work to bring about
more change for the better.

Let Us Pray

Lord, when we are treated unjustly, despised and abused
without reason, help us to think of your sufferings. We pray for justice for all those who are
oppressed, imprisoned and tortured because of their religion, race or political
convictions. Amen.(Mark 15:9-15)

Positively

Alex Gomes

————————————————————————————————

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Can you tell the difference between a real smile and a fakesmile? Most people are able to tell the difference even if they have not been
taught the difference. In fact studies have shown that people can tell the
difference between a real and a fake smile just by listening to the person
speak.

All cultures recognize a smile as an ex-pression of happiness. It reflects an
inner satisfaction, joy, and contentment. The ability to smile is something
that a person is born with. Even babies are able to smile before they have ever
seen a smile, and once they have learned what a smile is they prefer a smiling
face over a non-smiling face.

Surprisingly, women smile more than men. Younger people smile more than older
people. Those who smile least of all are generally males with a high
testosterone level.

Not surprisingly, of all the facial ex-pressions, a smile is used the most
frequently. It takes at least five pairs of facial muscles to produce a smile
and sometimes a smile involves as many as 53 facial muscles. Nevertheless, it
takes fewer facial muscles to produce a smile than it does to produce a frown.

The release of endorphins in the brain which accompanies the feeling of happiness
often produces a smile. Conversely, creating a smile, even a forced smile, can
lead to a release of endorphins in the brain and make a person feel more
joyful.

There are numerous different kinds of smiles, but the two most interesting ones
are the fake smile, sometimes called the Pan American smile, and the open
smile, often called the Duchenne smile. The Pan American is the type of smile
often found on airlines and used by flight attendants and pilots as they greet
passengers. It’s a smile of courtesy and politeness rather than real joy.

The Duchenne smile is the genuine smile, named after Guillaume Duchenne, a
French neurologist, who mapped 100 or more facial muscles in 1862. He
determined that a genuine smile involved two sets of muscles, those around the
eyes and those around the mouth.

A Duchenne smile results in a contraction of the zygomatic muscles of the cheek
and eye, generally causing the skin at the corner of the eye to wrinkle into
what is commonly called crow’s feet. At the same time the muscles around the
mouth cause the corners of the mouth to curl upward. The Duchenne smile occurs
naturally as the result of inner happiness. It’s a spontaneous reaction and
happens without being thought about. Duchenne said it was the face’s reaction
to “the sweet emotions of the soul.”

The next time you see smiling people look for the important signs on their
faces that distinguish the real smiles from the fake smiles.

Positively

Alex Gomes

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Buddies Joint

Hi Buddies,

Today something serious, something to be careful of, and something to be apprehensive of '

Is there ever such a thing as 'No Strings Attached?' Can a friendship between two people withstand casual sex? Or is that just an idealistic concept?

The subject 'Friends with Benefits' which I am going share with you'll because I have been witnessing and hearing these things in the society since many years.  The concept of
'Friends with Benefits' is spreading at considerable rate in the metros and big cities.

I have come across number of such cases i.e. Friends with Benefits. Due to my daily work approach I come in touch with number of individuals as I am working in a large organization, attached to social and sports Associations and Institutions and have a business with a large member base. I have learned lots of good things from Dexter Yager's Book 'People Skills' and due to 'Customer Is Always Right' attitude I go along very well with my acquaintance and they confide in me.

Well''.Hummmmmm

Now a days one night stands aren't as in as they used to be. Now lovers are coupling up for more long term sex - 'Friends with Benefits'. They get all the benefits of a relationship without the commitment. They start out as friends. They enjoy each other's company and then one night start sleeping together.

They don't date. It's not a traditional 'significant other' type relationship.
In many cases, the other friends don't even know about their sex on the side.
It's set up as a mutual gratification, friends helping friends' arrangement.

It is seen that most Friends with Benefits fail to do is set up the rules
because of the nature of the relationship. It generally starts out as either
happenstance or perhaps a small dialog exchange, 'I don't have anyone, you
don't either, so let's do it, no strings attached. What do you think?' It all
sounds well in good; at least initially when both are hornier than a unicorn.
But can friends who sleep together remain friends once it ends? Or is the start
of mutual sex the start of the end of their friendship?

Sex creates a bond, no matter how discussed up front it is. Someone always gets
hurt in the end of a no strings attached, Friends with Benefits arrangement.
Booty Calls always start out with mutual orgasms as the sole purpose. Yet when
two people share that kind of closeness, and if it’s a recurring buddy booty
call, then they spend time together. Someone is doing something very intimate
with and to the other. Who isn't always appreciative of a good orgasm?

It is observed that one or both may know that they don’t want a commitment and
that’s why the No Strings Attached agreement takes place. But when the ecstasy
occurs regularly, how can they NOT start to feel something for the other? One
person will inevitably feel a stronger emotional bond than the other; it’s not
male/female bias. One will still only love the physical benefits and the other
will enjoy the Great Act so much that they get attached, even though they weren’t looking for any relationship.

Or perhaps one person may have always been secretly attracted to the friend and
knew the other didn’t want a relationship, yet figured a Friends with Benefits
arrangement was better than nothing. Hence they verbally agreed to the arrangement
but emotionally they were already hooked naively.

After being Adjudicator in couple of cases and if anybody directly or indirectly is entering into any such arrangement may consider these suggestions (No fees , in India people are ready to give suggestion freely

No going out with each other unless it's in a group situation or you know the night will end in sex, therefore the outing is part of foreplay, no public affection, no gifts and any other boundaries you want to instill. Before it starts, decide how it will end. If starting out as friends, the goal is to end as friends.

Use your head to consider wisely what may be lost if you enter into a Friends with Benefits arrangement.

Positively

Alex Gomes

——————————————————————————

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Gomsee’s Weblog

Buddies Joint

Hi Folks,

From couple of days I am feeling little dishearten and my space has also been slowed down so to just cheer me up I received an email “To Make You Smile” from my young enthu Ally  Kundan '

Roses are red, violets are blue  
Monkeys like you should be kept in the zoo.
                 
 Don’t feel so angry, you will find me there too              
             
Not in a cage but laughing at you…    

                     
Twinkle Twinkle little star              
 You should know what you are    
 And once you know what you are                    
 Mental hospital is not so far.  

The rain makes all things beautiful.    
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful                
Why doesn’t it rain on you?  

   
                     
I wrote your name on sand it got washed.                  
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
then ~ I wrote your name on my heart And….
I got a heart attack straight away…  

God saw me hungry, HE created pizza.              
HE saw me thirsty, HE created Pepsi              
HE saw me in dark, HE created light              
HE saw me without problems, HE created YOU.  

Thanks Kundan

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