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Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category

Software !!

Posted in Funny on 10/17/2008 09:38 am by Gordhan R

1. NIIT : Not Interested in IT

2. WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output

3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses

4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions

5. INFOSYS :Inferior Offline Systems

6. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines

7. SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly

8. ORACLE : On-line Romance And Chatting

 

Different types of Marketting

Posted in Funny on 10/10/2008 12:02 pm by Gordhan R


Different types of Marketting


1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: “I am very rich.
“Marry me!” - That’s Direct Marketing…”


2. You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a
gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and
pointing at you says: “He’s very rich.
“Marry him.” -That’s Advertising…”


3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and get her telephone number. The next day, you
call and say: “Hi, I’m very rich.
“Marry me - That’s Telemarketing…”


4. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up
and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour
her a drink, you open the door (of the car)”Marry Me?” - That’s Public Relations…”


5. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks
up to you and says:”You are very rich!
“Can you marry ! me?” - That’s Brand Recognition…”


6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” She gives you
a nice hard slap on your face. - “That’s Customer Feedback…”


7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” And she
introduces you to her husband. - “That’s demand and supply gap…”


8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and before you say anything, another person come
and tell her: “I’m rich. Will you marry me?” and she
goes with him - “That’s competition eating into your market share…”


9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and before you say: “I’m rich, Marry me!” your
wife arrives. - “That’s restriction for entering new markets…”

Courtesy:Email from a friend

 

Laugh

Posted in Funny on 10/06/2008 04:50 pm by Gordhan R

 


 


1. A  FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man  tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are  CLOSED.

2.  One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption : 
Before  Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD, 
After Marriage - Drink whenever you  are HAPPY


3.  Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1.  Tele-Phone
2.  Tele-Vision
3.  Tell to Woman
Need  still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.

4.  Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.

5. A  man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and  Best Woman.
Next  moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral  : BE SPECIFIC

6.  What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?
It  is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your Friends.

7.  Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.
They  see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should  KILL him.
Ant  2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we  will just  throw him away from our path. 
Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE  him because  he is ALONE and we are FOUR.

8.  If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life. 
If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your  life.

9.  Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their  MISTAKE.
Answer  : On their MARRIAGE.

10.  When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from  Darkness. 
Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness -  Please PAY  the  ELECTRICITY BILL.

11.  Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. 
Because per Constitution,  you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.

12.  ”A Ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it is built for” -  Albert Einstein





 

How people write Leave-Applications…

Posted in Funny on 09/13/2008 03:40 pm by Gordhan R


How people write Leave-Applications…

It’s murder of English language. But Too Funny.

Just Read It.

The Leave Applications;)

Infosys , Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:

“Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife , please sanction me one-week leave.”

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This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing the “mundan” ceremony of his 10 year old son:

“as I want to shave my son’s head , please leave me for two days..”

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From H.A.L. Administration Dept:

“As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it , please grant me 10 days leave.”

——————————————————————————–

Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:

“Since I’ve to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return , please grant me half day casual leave”

——————————————————————————–

An incident of a leave letter:

“I am suffering from fever , please declare one-day holiday.”

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A leave letter to the headmaster:

“As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today”

——————————————————————————–

Another leave letter written to the headmaster:

“As my headache is paining , please grant me leave for the day.”

——————————————————————————–

Covering note:

“I am enclosed herewith…”

——————————————————————————–

Another one:

“Dear Sir: with reference to the above , please refer to my below…”

——————————————————————————–

Actual letter written for application of leave:

“My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave”.

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