My daughter is nicknamed Pickle by her uncle.
Mirchi Pickle, for she's sharp and lively with a mind of her own. Having been read to even in her pre-verbal age, she picked up languages very fast and could understand complex English and Hindi.
As a result, even at eight months, she would go into hiding the moment she heard her grand mom mention milk bottle to the ayah. She would then be hunted out from under the beds and behind the doors. Same reaction met any mention of medicine, bed or bath time. Anyone leaving for the market or anywhere had to do it with total stealth or else! There'd be a loud vociferous protest at being left behind.
To ward off tantrums when I needed some peace I got everyone in the family to spell things out and not say any 'objectionable' words. What followed was '
Ma, her D.A.D on line wants to speak to you.
[At 18 months, Daddy Dear wasn't allowed out of sight!]
Want some P.I.C.K.L.E?
[Or my kid would want some even when she was croaking in Delhi winters]
Where's the M.I.L.K?
Am off to the M.A.R.K.E.T
M.E.D.I.CI.N.E time!
To our delight and dismay, the little imp soon picked up our trick! She would look at us suspiciously each time we spelt out anything. Within days she cracked our M.I.L.Ks and D.A.Ds leaving us feeling quite stupid.
My husband and I took on a new trick involving complex words.
Since my kid sprang up in wide-eyed denial the minute any one mentioned 'sleep' or 'bed', we resorted to '
Is the offspring ready to hit the slumber land?
Is the lactic acid ready?
The animation needs to go off air now!
Has the one who gave birth to you returned from the place of worship?
['Is dadi back from temple?' would be inviting hellish explanations to why she wasn't taken along]
This worked splendidly for a while. Our vocab kept getting better. It became a game for us. We found childish delight in our ability to fool our daughter. By the time she was three, we could have held an X rated conversations in our cryptic, twisted lingo if we wanted!
She kept catching up with our attempts and could soon crack stuff like animation, slumber, lactic acid etc. and we kept thinking up new ones everyday.
She's four going on five now and we are still at it. We've graduated on to -
Shayan kaksh ki oar prasthan?
[Shall we retire to the bedroom now? Yeah she still thinks sleeping is most non-fun thing to do. We have to drag her to bed promising stories, foot rubs, new crayons and what not.]
Snanghar mein jal taiyar kar do
[Mix water for her bath in the bathroom]
Unplug the Stupidifier [TV]
Help me! Taap-maan time!
[It takes two to keep the thermometer in the armpit for a minute]
Aviation due tomorrow! Capital of Maharashtra waits.
[I'm flying to Bombay.]
The domestic help has grievances about our by-product and her troop messing up the premises.
[The maid will leave if there are 6 kids around all day, everyday]
Amelia Jane hates being told on but check your ink filled instrument. It was used and abused during doodle time.
[She fucked up your best pen while drawing]
Butts out of sight?
[You put away the cigarettes, right?]
We haven't stopped.
Probably won't till she starts to outsmart us.
And I'm eagerly waiting for the day.
http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/phoenixritu/mothers-day-competition-1717/
Hats off 2 u.
Candy says ”Can you Unplug the Stupidifier, Dear?” is probably your best-ever post. I”m inclined to agree that it’’s definitely among your top five.
Nice………….and an intelligent daughter too – after all, she’s yours right!
its a genetical thing..wait for the day when she says she wants to be at a place where forces of demand and supply interact…
lol! takes me back to when my k was four ..they are too smart and grow so darned fast..
A nice blog.Looks you spend good time with your kid.Keep it up that is the real treasure.Als I could also get some time for my kids.A nice motivational writing.
enjoy the motherhood.Its such a bliss which we hardly get time to even ponder.A really inspirational to me at least, forcing me to spend some nice memorable events with the kids.You had given a great insight towards the responsibilities of parenting. A nice piece of writing.
Hey Dee…this is what my 6 year old came up with yesterday….told her to go brush your teeth, she says its not a brush…its a cleaning prop. I was zapped!
a smart mother like you deserve a smarter child. Congrats! ur dear darling is doing well to give you a complex withion a few years. ENJOY the moment.!
The entire conversational epic mentioned in the electronic diary simply set the vertices of my smiley face to such elasticity that I could not help but merely enjoy the strained facial arch. Wonder if Morse code could be the next step to deter the decipherence of the lil Mirchi’’s sharp grey cells!!!
and yea hats off to yr angel…thats one firepower brain she has in there and she rocks!!
I bow to thee dee….you are awesome mommy…:d I burst out laughing at so many of them :)) I had tears coz I laughed so hard! boy this was one amazing thing…I will remember all this tips for my lil one…I hope me n my wife graduatewith honours too!
A very nice piece! You”ve learnt the true value of parenting. Improve your vocabulary, talk clean nice language, do not say unpleasant things directly…etc etc Quite an apt example of reverse parenting
Lovely piece. Your daughter is very intelligent thanks to you guys no doubt!!!
Ewww….absence* (what is wrong with me?!!)
correction absesnce*
You are such a delight! I am absolutely thrilled
I do so much identify with this. We four friends have been very used to havin each other around and obviously along with the cig butts come the use of gaali…so now it is all broken into semaphore code. I taught my friends that, so all gaalis are now spelt out…Sick is unwell…et al…we all kick each other if someone slips and by now we have slipped enough. The deal is that if she utters any one those banned words (which i know she will use in my basence - haven”t we all?)..she gets pepper in her mouth. That leaves all of them including me wary…but do we wait for her bedtime to speak normally!!! Bedtime, fortunately, is - Brush your teeth, get into bed, goodnight hug, kiss and a hi five, lights out, bedroom door closed. Done!
loved this post dee.ur little princess is one hell of a smart lady already..wait till she grows older and you will have tough time keeping pace wid her.
Awesome post…children can get us more creative all the time…second childhood actually…Cheers, T
Hiya Dee, lovely post, the midnight antics were something too!!! mmm….
kids r amazing arnt they! i wonder when parents make a big deal about reading. And this reading to the unborn child works! Mine came out mouthing “read your story!” :D. Which meant read to her. And we stopped spelling things out coz she thought it was a cryptic clue game for her. she goes thru books like a mower and talks non stop. huggles to pickles.
hee hee hee hee, thanks dee, I would also practice this next time with T. She is also getting smarter everyday.
oh and Dee….the last time my cheeks ached like this from so much stretching was due to obligatory fixed smiling at strangers at my wedding reception:D
ditto sreelatha, i wish that too…Re, a certain KB, a.k.a M-Y P-A-T-E-R……what are you grumbling about? arn”t you e-l-a-t-e-d your offspring have lived through a lifetime of listening to your crazy l-i-m-e-r-i-c-k-i-n-g and still find them funny;)
now this one!! out of the world, and I don”t see you stopping. Just wait till y.o.u.r k.i.d reaches b.l.o.g.l.a.n.d! hope rediffiland wont be too small for the t.w.o. of y.o.u! In the mean time, I hope to lose 5 of my 84 Kilos, just laughing! also hope my l.a.s.t strands of h.a.i.r. on my head remain intact!
I can see why you”re so smart, Dee. Your kid trains you up good! And ditto Amit… You just wait till your kid becomes a teenager and starts coding. Pickle is gonna have a coochie-coo conversation with her boyfriend right there in your living room, and you”ll think they”re discussing their trigonometry homework! Warm Regards, Ghost
Just you wait dee……………….your lil girl is gonna grow up one day…and play the cryptic games you guys play …..lol……u guys are gonna bear the brunt of her cryptic messages for a long long time i guess…lol…..
such a nice post…such a amazing daughter u have..and such a writer u r..amazing sense of humour..keep it up..cheers..
ABSOLUTELY Amusingly humorous!–Both you & your hubby!Such sense of humour-oh! god! I wish we had friends like you in flesh & blood!