My hair is all askew. My room looks like the ruins of a bombed building after an entire night of air-raids. I look at my image in the mirror. It is a different person. And I get lost in her eyes. A completely different girl looks back at me. My brain stops registering the present. I feel like an alien in a foreign land. And I look back at mom and dad as if they were strangers. Aliens from different planets.
The glass from last night on my bedside table with remnants of milk look yawningly at me. The posters of Cruise and Kaka seem like old traditions upheld by my supreme obstinacy to defy change. Though in between I have had the urge to put up many faces …right from Roger Federer to Rahul Gandhi ( hmm…me getting politically inclined these days ) I have stuck to my 'old-is-gold' policy and the old faithfuls have stayed.
My modem-lights blink at me with an alarming effect which is lost on me with time.
I listen to hard-metal these days. Just for a change. And I seem to be liking some of them.
Always thought you needed to be a little "off your hooks" to actually like this sort of head-banging…….drum-pounding., guitar-wringing noises. But then, I think going by my own convictions….I am going a little astray from the road to sanity these days then. Can't say if I am loving it or not.
Office is not fun these days. Work-loads are mounting. And so is increasing the amount of bitching, mutt-ing (that's my coinage for menfolk practicing the art-form) and superior-subordinate tensions.
Adesh, Premangshu and Alok are at their supportive-best as usual. But I sometimes vent my ire on them. But, I repent later and say sorry. They are always the protective sort who blush and brush past all my pleas of contrition. And again when times are happier…plans are chalked out. Elaborate arrangements of partying are made. Late-nights become as frequent as commercial breaks……and life chugs on.
Now that I have vented all my sedimented, stale energy which was bubbling inside me through this torture-of-a-post of mine….its time to move on and haul some serious ass. ( hee hee….different Jess..huh ?? )
And yes…I see I can now recognize the girl I see in my mirror.
Its the same me.
Like it or leave it .
You can't ignore it!
Its incredible how many of us feel the way you”ve mentioned you do when writing this post…and like someone said…blogging is a publishing phenomenon…so many of us just find it fantastic to just put it out there and what do you know, some well wishers may even come by and encourage us and we suddenly start seeing the self we were missing very quickly again…riddle…what does the shrink hate the most? Easy…blogging I say….more power to Indian support systems…and more power to blogging….
Appa… apnee Jesee ko kya ho gaya?/ Go take a cold shower. Chill :=) (Biggie hugs and love)
liked the post…the thg u have mentioned of alienating with self…i do have same feelings sometimes….y so?
call for a doctor..hahaha.
sounds like a perfectly normal day!
IIyyeaaahh!! Thats a different Jess, indeed!!! And whatta refreshing change from the Elizabethan english I hadta read at your blog, LOLZ :))))))
When the gpoing gets tough, the tough get going. Regards, Angad
take a vacation
once i decided i am going to be all different from that day.. and did all different things and things differently.. but at the end of the day i realized i was trying to be the same old me.. :)) you put it perfect! “And life chugs on” nice post..
life is like that, dear friend!
Zindagi kaisi hai paheli haye: Kabhi to hansayey kabhi yeh rulayey.
smile n move on!
Take a break Jesssika
Be happy.
introspection
Smile never get tired…. always be thinks and write as you feel…
hi, yes Jes, one can not ignore u that is for sure.
fantastically written.
Notwithstanding the unloading part, you remain the same old Jessi for all your diehard well-wishers!
yes Jes, one can not ignore u that is for sure.
its ok….nice u r trulyy.
alwayseeeeeeee be happy…
thats nice
yes some time it become difficult to remember our own image.
wowoie
stop listening to crap music and you will be back to self
Truly and nicely put thoughts! loved it. anu
very poetic! definitely not ignorable
different jess or trying to be different?……..keep up the unloading girl….cheerz!
good that you unloaded it…for us, iLand friends, you are the same you