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Sleepless in ……





I have always been a dreamer.




But, these days I am not even able to sleep properly. A constant irritation itches on in my mind and I know not where it comes from. As a child, our own Doctor Uncle used to point out that diagnosis was pivotal to medication. I somehow found a deeper meaning in those words in connection to our daily lives even when I was a teenager. No wonder then that I got hooked to taking  “counselling sessions” of friends and followers. Boys and girls found an eager listener in me, and at the end of a long session of artless candour I would settle down to spray my sermons on them. Eventually, I got good at it. My words were often interspersed with vignettes of adult wisdom and placid maturity. I even developed a impassive style while speaking on the “most bitter-to-the-ears” issues to my subjects. Before I was into my third year in college I was quite a known “soothesayer” of sorts.




 




My ego latched onto that window of pride and soon, I had many from outside my immediate circle of friends flocking to me for “suggestions”. Most “cases” were love related, some a touch more serious owing to the involvement of parents in the imbroglio, others simply “candy-floss” stuff …..the ususal ” she loves me….she loves me not… ????” queries. These were the “cases” I slowly grew to be tired of because of their repetitive quality and lack of associated sub-plots. Interesting “problems” surfaced with time. A brother being too pushy at home, a domineering father or a overprotective mom intruding into the forsaken territory of teenage privacy. Some I was quick to respond to, to some I had no cure. Still, after  every such session accompanied with the characteristic intake of umpteen number of chaai and samosas in the college canteen I subconsciously started nurturing a philanthropic satisfaction inside me. It gave me a sense of fulfilment to be of help to others, some friends….. some distant. But, today when I suspect if I am suffering from hypochondria, stress or insomnia I hardly have a soul at hand to help. A person who can sort a few knots of my mind and my life. Someone whom I can fall back upon for few words of reassurance and comfort. Even today some of my old buddies, some married and some yet to tie the knot ring me up to keep me updated of their account of woes. Out of habit I blabber out possible solutions. Some call back to let me know of the efficacy of my advice. Some just forget. Typically so.




 




I wonder if being the “shrink” back those days has robbed me off a “helpline-to-happiness” today.

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28 Responses

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  1. Neha George says

    wah

  2. Garima Goyal says

    ASK UR SELF FOR GUIDANCE IT WLL SURELY COME

  3. Islander Guy says

    Hey! whtever it was, it was really interesting to read.
    Still aint sure if it was fact or fiction ?
    sounds like ur going through the miserable shit of playing god or some divine guru. maybe i just didnt read through right. A “soothesayer” can be a very interesting and complex individual
    i really hope to understand more and would love to hear from u.

  4. Islander Guy says

    Hey! whtever it was, it was really interesting to read.
    Still aint sure if it was fact or fiction ?
    sounds like ur going through the miserable shit of playing god or some divine guru. maybe i just didnt read through right. A “soothesayer” can be a very interesting and complex individual
    i really hope to understand more and would love to hear from u.

  5. tincy says

    hi, nice postings
    also visit my blogs,by

  6. gal gal says

    hey
    i perfectly get wat ur goin thru…cos thats exactly wher i m
    over years n even now, i hav heard n helped n now when i wish to even speak ma mind…..i cant…ther is absolutely none….its the irony of life or shud i say tragedy????

  7. vedika says

    Hey…That’’s really good,I was really not able to resist myself from dropping a comment…Anyway keep it up man..and iam also into blogging,do check out my blogs at the following link:
    http://blog.monsterindia.com/my/vedikasharma77/The-Four-Wives-14431.html

  8. Noanee Kapadia says

    I am sure a friend will lend a kind ear to your woes ,you must over come feeling alone ,friends are all for you , only you shld be ready to confide in them,!

  9. Abhishek Ghosh says

    Well faced the same problems sometimes back but now hav cum out of it…At today’’s date people still come to me for advices and I dont turn them down but the thing is that u hav to be pressure free first. U hav to solve ur own’’s prob first ..thats wat I hav learned thru my experiences all thru….Dont worry just b free enugh to tell ur probs to someone. U hav the capability of solving it on ur own but u just want a listener….U just share ur prob with whomever u trust and take advices and the decision is to be taken by u….that will not b a difficult task for u…

  10. Ravi Sekhar says

    depends on whether ur philanthropist mind allows u to open up to others? U dont have someone to open up to or you dont want to have (typical irritating question na?). Anyways, delve deeper, u are ur best shrink, but then I am always there ;)

  11. VirginatThirty says

    Isnt there a head shrink that all the other shrinks go to for their problems?

  12. Sincere Citizen says

    Sorry for the bad word “s****” i was just surprised at our similarity.

  13. Sincere Citizen says

    Shit, this is exactly what happened to me too. Though I didnt do too many counselling sessions I did end up being soothsayer oftentimes even today. And same probs for me, wish I could go to someone.

  14. soloman williams says

    No you are not taken for granted.keep up the goodwork,the happiness is there!

  15. VirginatThirty says

    Would alcohol/cough syrup help?

  16. budhoose kanjoose says

    you must be a good shrink!

  17. lolly says

    HI jessica thanks for considering me worthy enough to be your friend, and regarding this post of yours i feel you are taken for granted, and whle helping others you yourself forgot about your own life. They say in Hindi “dhoondne se bhagwan bhi milta hai”. Keep looking for friends and you will find not one but as many as you want, who will understand you.

  18. ashminder bahal says

    Jessica, is the Seattle problem serious. If it is start on the course to meditiation and no harm in going to one of these art of living courses. They are definitely stress busters and Reiki helps one to go off to sleep. In any case welcome back after a big gap. Why was that so? Regards, Angad

  19. budhoose kanjoose says

    why are psychiatrists called shrinks?

  20. rajaraja cholan says

    THE KING IS UPSET

  21. tina bird says

    well, i guess people around u started takin u 4 granted, n u were sort of - a counsellor 2 dem. its a gud feelin of satisfaction ven u help others, but may b u shud give more time 2 urself… take a break…

  22. roopa singh says

    GOD jessica those feeling were so me… the only solution i found for myself i want to share with u.make the GOD u”r best friend every time u have this feeling think that he besides u& YES walking in park is actually the best solution .

  23. Srinivasan Parthasarathy says

    Perhaps you are falling short in self esteem as what you indulge in is not going to help anybody except blocking lot of your memory with the private details of others which in no way is going to be of use to you or others. Acquire professional education and render counselling to a needy target group like - unemployed,orphans,destitutes,AIDS patients etc.
    Walk 3 / 4 Kms daily you”ll get good sleep.

  24. shivani narula says

    may be this happens with all of us in bits n parts…

  25. Trishna Mumbai says

    er…i could help..T

  26. Kush A says

    Hey, mere ko bhi ek prob hai yaar abhi, care to help? :))) As fa your question, well, may be it is a slightly diff. and/or special destiny you have! :)

  27. Payal Mehra says

    Don”t let others problems affect ur mind and health…take a break

  28. Mahen Mishra says

    Ya thats bound to happen after a certain point.. take a break and stop counselling others and try to spend the time with whom you love too…