Strange Ways(Concluding Part)

Next morning,I did not feel like going to office,and was very depressed.I was also worrying that persons sitting at the back of my bus might had heard all the things and they would spread all the story with adding spices to it and moreover I did not want to face him.I told all the happenings to my best friend,Neha.She only suggested me that I should go to office and  should take things as nothing had happened.So,I agreed to Neha’s suggestions and went to office.While sitting in the bus,my eyes met his eyes twice and he was looking very serious.I decided that that now I would not talk to him and would not stare at him anymore.

But,your mind becomes weak where your heart is involved.After 2 or 3 days of the incident, in the evening ,I was sitting alone in the bus and was waiting for others and Subhash was the first person who came and he sat in front of my seat .I was just looking outside.At that time, a man came near our bus.He wanted some donations for a temple which was being built nearby.We both gave some money to him.He made only one receipt for both of us and told that he had made a joint receipt and he handed over the receipt to me.Human mind really interprets things in the way it wants to.Actually again I began to believe my intuition that GOD wanted us to see togeher, so the man made a joint receipt unconsciously.And I don’t remember exactly but Subhash said something to me And I again started talking to him.If you really love a person, you tend to forget your ego.So, again our ’staring sessions’ started.So,my belief about my marriage was getting stronger as days were passing by.I believed that GOD had sent Subhash again in my life and he would do something and one day Subhash would be mine.I was just waiting for that moment to come.For the first time, I felt the pain involved in the process of waiting for something to happen.Ever moment I was thinking about all these things.I told about my intuition to some persons who were closer to me and they started laughing at  me.I was so sure about my intuition that I stopped talking to them.Slowly days were passing by and nothing more was happening.In all the process I was very much mentally disturbed and my concentration was really affected.I was not able to work properly at my office.I was so engrossed in all these things that I could not realise that my professional life was at stake.When I realised about this,it was really very late.

It was time of our appraisals and one day my boss called me up to fill up my appraisal form.While handing over the form to me, he asked me that if I was having some personal problem.I was really surprised by his sudden question.He told me that he was watching me for the past 3 months and had noticed that I had become really slow and he was not happy with my performance.It was like I had opened my eyes after a deep slumber.I realised that my personal life had effected my professional life up to a great extent.After that, I tried to concentrate on my professional life and started avoiding Subhash.But at the back of my mind,he was always there.Every moment I was waiting for something to happen so that I could get him.My mental state was deteriorating fast.Everybody started noticing it.Important projects were not given to me.Only I was doing marginal work.My boss was pressurizing me to tell the problem.I really did not want to involve him.Slowly, one year passed by in waiting and nothing happened.Daily I used to see him.I really wanted to touch him, to talk to him.Then I realised that if I was going to stay in the same company and in the same city for some more days,I would land up in a mental asylum.So,I started giving interviews in other companies.But, there also I faced failures as I could not perform well due to my mental illness.Finally I decided to quit my job and go back to my home town.(the same way as Amisha decided to leave for India when she met Hrithik-2).At that moment, I just wanted mental peace.So,I was back home.

For a week, I remained in a deep depression. and was unable to understand that why all these things happened to me.(WHY ME SYNDROME).I just began to introspect myself as it is said that ‘if you loose, don’t loose the lesson’.Yes, I lost everything…my job…my mental peace…everything.I thought God wanted me to teach a lesson.But what was the lesson?I should find out on my own.Then I realised about the lesson.
I did not ever accepted Subhash marriage.He was always there in my mind.He was a part of my life.Frequently, I used to imagine that he was sitting with me and I was talking to him.So, as it is said that ‘everything that’s coming into your life, you are attracting into your life.And it’s attracted to you by virtue of the images you are holding in your mind.
Yes, through my thoughts, I attracted him again in my life.GOD sent him again in my life just to tell that he never belonged to me…never ever….if you don’t get a thing…it never belonged to you.
In fact,my constant thinking about him might be effecting his life too.I should have gathered courage to accept the reality…that he was married now.I should have forget him.I was still single and I was not letting anyone to come in my life as there was no vacant space in my heart for a new relationship.My heart was filled with his memories only.Yes,this was a great lesson…though he taught me the meaning of love,but I must extend this love to the person who is made for me.I decided to forget him…I know it was difficult……but now I really don’t think much about him as I really paid a heavy price to learn the lesson.

 I have written this story for  those who were deeply in love with someone, but due to certain reasons were not able to get their lover …just i want to say to them that they should feel happy that they experienced love through that person, but now they should not think about the past .It may be possible that they may find a person who is more loving and caring.
So, it is quite possible that the person made for me may be reading this story….for him only I have written the story .now my heart, my soul is waiting for him only….haaa…just joking.

(I hope you people like the story….wait for another true story…till then bye).