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Austerity Drive…

http://datastore.rediff.com/h5000-w5000/thumb/5B5956686B67676D67615E7464/l1g23vzb2z1tr70v.D.0.rahul.jpg

Cant really blame but Rahul got the publicity for all the stuff indeed a really well managed show enough to have the CM fuming ….

Posted in Politics.

1 comment



INDIA IS FOR INDIANS ????

INDIA IS FOR INDIANS ????

Andhra Pradesh for Andhraites
Arunachal Pradesh for APites ( or may be chinese they claims so)
Assam for Assamese
Bihar for biharis
Chhattisgarh for Chatisgrahi….
Goa for goans
Gujarat for gujaratis
Haryana for haryanvi
Himachal Pradesh for Pahadi or HPITES
Jammu and Kashmir for kashmiri
Jharkhand for Jharkhandites
Karnataka for Kannadigas
Kerala for Keralites
Madhya Pradesh for MPITES
Maharashtra for Maharastrians
Manipur for Manipuris
Meghalaya for Meghalayes
Mizoram for Mizos
Nagaland for nagas
Orissa for oriyas
Punjab for punjabis
Rajasthan for rajasthanis
Sikkim for sikkimites
Tamil Nadu for tamils
Tripura for tripurites
Uttar Pradesh for upites
Uttarakhand for uttarkhandis
West Bengal for Bengalis

and they say INDIA!!!! IS FOR INDIANS???Ops I forgot there are 7 Union Territory tooo…Kiska hai God knows..
You decide…where do we belong!!!!And some sacred cow said we are global citizen..
Laden is listening.???


Posted in Indians.

3 comments



1 PAISE PER SECOND..

1 PAISE PER SECOND..

We have new ad coming of these mobile companies stating pay for what you talk and not for the extra time like 1 paise per Second Plans .Some stupid analyst said that the call rates are going to get dropped (god knows who pays them)

I just pondered as how much cost will it save if i change plan,Currently i am on 30 paise per minute plan.

I was shocked to know that i wont gain but lose out in the same.

SIMPLE CALCUTATION

1 SEC 1 PAISE SO 1 MINUTE WILL BE 60 PAISE .

Normally on plan where i talk for 5.3 minutes i am charged for 6 minutes i.e Rs 1.80 but new plan will charge me Rs 3.30 .

So guys before you change your talk plan BEWARE OF THESE MARKETING GIMMICKS..

LOSS IS YOURS..

Posted in Mobile.

8 comments



Woh wali movies (A)-

Woh wali movies (A)-



As you are aware during all our younger days(this doesnt mean i m old) we go through the times where in we are curious about Adult movies ,infatuated about girls,actress,Alcohols etc we all face situation wherein we have to make choices or enticed to make one or when we look backword in life we remember
1. Like First kash of the Cigrattee during college or may be in school.
2. First Beer
3. First Date
4. First etccccc
To some ppl it becomes a memory good/bad to some it becomes part of their life or addiction.I had this incident when a friend of mine said aaj parents ghar pe nahi hai so i want to watch a Adult movie.I tld him station pe mil jayega you can buy anyone .He said tu chal.
So we went to this road side vendor my friend stayed bit away .I tld him “come dudes” he was embarrased to come near the stall ” aree nahi tu dekh “
As if i m going to watch the stufff. still dosti ke khatir karna padta hai..
The Chap selling CD has class skills of personnel assessment of his customer.he saw my friend staying bit away from the stall and understood the requirement.So just to make him feel comfortable he said “New english movies aaye hai dekho sir”
Now my friend felt comfortable and came to the stall.
Without wastinng further time he said “saab kya du english,hindi,double,triple,animal,homo,lesbo”I was flabbergasted with all vocabulary and the command.Sach bolu toh pora stall kharidne kaa maan kiya :).
so my i asked my frend kya chahiye bol naa…
He was already embarassed to the extent he said kuch bhi le aur chall jaldi.
Ek CD i showed him he said utha mat ek carry bag mein le.Mein bola yeh ka daru ka botal hai kya black carry bag mein .
But apna CDwala was a class apart he said saab ek devanand ke picture ka cover hai usme dalu kya “Customer service at the best”
my friend happily said daloo.Yet still story ab khatam nahi hua.He said “saab mera nos lelo jab bhi naya maal ayega home delivery kar dunga”
My friend expression dekh ke laaga “WOW “


Posted in Friends.

6 comments



Ladies Special– Priority of LIfe

 
 
 
 
 
 
Ladies Special– Priority of LIfe
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I have sweet freind of mine very sweet a moody person nick named me as per her mood,if she is angry she will call me patliaa kuch kaam nikwane ka rahega toh amy,patty to the extent patil saheb.
Just the other day i was taking to her on phone as i called her she fully blasted me “bol patlya” I understood not in good mood .I asked her very decently “kya hua “To which she replied ” aree tuzhe pata hai working ladies ko kitna taklif hota hai”
Ab mujhe kya pata .so i asked her bol na kya problem hai ??
She said “freak its difficult to be married and work”
Either you have to be married or you have to work. dono saath mein difficult hota hai re???
Mein bola problem kya hai….
She said sunega…main bola boll
Listen to the list
1. Meri kamwali nahi aayi
2. Mera washing machine kharab hai.
3. Geyser bhi bandh hai.
4. Kapde lot mein hai
6. Mera sir dard kar raha
5. Aur meri saas(mother in law ) bhi bimaar hai..
I was shocked public ko kyaa kya problem hote hai aur isko..so I cooly said “tu ye problem?reverse ?order mein bhi bata sakti hai na..”
She said firmly to me that “i have said my problem as they are in order of priority now”
I SAID HEY RAM!!!!! KYON KI SAAS BHI KABHI BAHU THI….
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Posted in Ladies...

4 comments



HALF SHIRT…..

HALF SHIRT

It was for the first time I had gone to the Shopping Mall store for purchasing a shirt for myself , being a puckaa kanjoos i never had any likings towards the brands so i use to buy from local shops @ discounted value of the product.This help to save cost also afford good quality shirts at nominal prices.

My friend said that there is a sale at Mall and you can go and buy good shirts at low cost, His defination for the low cost and mine was different but still i thought that i should try atleast once to buy something at Pantaloon.So i went to the shop and there was a huge crowd i thought that the sale might be good enough and the crowd was increasing .and there were frantic annoucement about discount for this particular hour or ek shirt ke saath ek free before 9″00 .I thought this is a nice opportunity a shirt will cost Rs 500 with another shirt free bole toh per shirt Rs 250 so i was frantically searching for the shirts and as greed took over me and i manage to get 1 shirt and another free one too….as i reached the counter the lady smiled and showed me the watch it was :9:05 and scheme was closed ..so i have to shell out Rs 500 for one shirt too costly but kya kare lena toh padega..Thought owner of the store might be laughing as he was able to put blood in my thoughtfull greediness by offering me a scheme which none could refuse.(a class example of marketing/salemanship..)

So finally i came home defeated with one shirt and showed it to my parents too my horror and their tooo it was half sleeve shirt which i never wear ,My mom asked me why did u get Half shirt instead of telling the entire story of my foolishness and again making fool of myself ,I told her “its my choice any problem”.

Posted in Humour.

9 comments



MORNING MYSTICS

Mornings can be ordinary if you see it that way the same monotonous bus /rail and the same people you meet but if you enjoy what you see or try to seek enjoyment in what you see life can be better atleast in the morning.

Today Morning like always i was waiting at my busstop for a moment i thought should observe people around ,There were 5 persons whom i see daily at my bustop at morning 8′o clock like one is officegoing babe who comes to drop her daughter for her school bus,a housewife who come to drop her son to school,2 uncles who come to drop their kids for school bus and then there is chai wala ki tapri with tea brewing …..

First Talk about the Babe who comes to drop her daughter like i dont know the names but i see her daily lets call her laptopwali babe she is one who comes with her daughter and her maid at the busstop life in mumbai is so fast that she has to give instruction to her bai about what to be brought from market and she has a chotu baccha too (total bai ke bharose pe).Infact the kids know the language of bai better than their own mother tongue and giving flying kisses to her daughter and chotu son while saying them good bye for the day and catching rickshaw….too busy life ahh.

Secondly House wife who comes to drop her son she is typical guju house wife mera pati mera parmeshwar hai types ..guju ben comes with all the tiffin and bag in her hand and the apna ladlo chokro a kiddie with specs may be intelligent(i always think that kids with specs are studious) and also typical only son syndrome totally worked out she might of the same age of laptopwali but the difference is clearly seen its like Parle and Bourbon biscuits .I think she might be giving her entire life for her family and her own needs taking a back seat..

Now apna own two papa coming and droping their kids wow nice to seee totally uncouth and unshaven papa coming and droping their kids infact the flying kiss is also not seen ,may be after saying good bye to kids they might be looking out for smoke morning pleasure for them and then daily routing..

Finally comes our Chaiwala boss the aroma of his tea and chai patti is one really should be enjoyed during the rains it was raining yesterday and i had tea woww……..

This makes me think every morning when you get up just say that..”today is the best day of my life go ahead and live it”

Posted in Writing.

4 comments



ABHI ABHI ..THE ATHEIST

ABHI ABHI ..THE ATHEIST



ABHI NA JAAO CHOODKE…..KE DIL ABHI BHARA NAHI



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Yesterday I met my sweet friend abhi, he was bit upset about something, a good nature fatty guy but still always in cheerful mood and has a terrific ability to make relations with people and at times help them without any expectation. He has fallen in love with his collegeau who is supposed to be his good friend but bechare ki kismat kharab woh ladki Kisi aur KO chahti hai!!!!



Kya karne ka !!!so when i met him i asked him bhai problem kai tuzha !!!aree dikra bolne su thayu!!!l Life mein kya fight hai.After gulping 2 thumpsup (As we are teetotallers just for Girls who are reading the blog and also …Bill maine bhara!!!) he finally openedup..



Bola aree kya the girl is gone mad .Mai bola kayku!!Just because she doesnt fall in love means she is mad????He asked me Areey if the guy is good i will never say this thing !!!Mai bola problem kya hai us guy mein??



He said he is not working.Main bola toh????He uses her debit card to fill the petrol!!toh what is big deal in that!!aree pichale mahine ka ladke ke ghar ka rashan pani bhi uske(ladki ) debit card se gaya.



Toh problem kya hai ..abhi se ghar ki zimmedari sambhal rahi hai !!!!



My friiend said aisa nahi hai woh usko ditch karega .Ladki koh yeh baat maine samjhayi main bola kab !!Aree us parso raat ko uska phone aya tha at 12 pm she was waiting for him at panvel!!aree raat ko bara baje panvel depo pe akele ladki ..I thought my friend might be right !!This is too unhuman to ask lady to wait at night 12 pm that tooo at panvel .



Main bola phir??I went to pick her up at panvel??ab tak toh ladki yedi lag rahi thi ab toh freind pe doubt hone laga??I asked him why you went to pick herup she stays at panvel she could have caught auto and gone to panvel.



He said she was not willing to go??Her bf was not taking calls and she was depressed and not picking phone of any of her parents who were tensed about her whereabouts.so he went all the way from chembur to panvel picked her up and left her at home.



Toh ab kya problem hai..I tld him best solution is go to Shirdi with your friend for a day sab locha solve ho jayega…He said i have stopped believing in God.I asked him why ???He said he sincerely prayed to GOD when he was to propose her that if she says yes he will? walk till Siddhivinayak !!she said no and he stopped beliving in GOD.I said this is not done .You just cant stop beliving in almighty just because someone has said no to you..



Just to lighten the moment I said “Just try Shirdi ke saibaba He listens!”(no offence to apne Ganpati Bappa) but he said let him listen first than i will belive in God.If God is not listening to me why should i believe him ???



Than suddenly he said to me”why you belive in him so much”?What has he given you (read paisa,girlfriend etc etc) for two minutes toh mera mind bhrast hogaya .I said to god he is right ???ab party badalne padegi!But pata nahi kaahan se awaz nikli I tld him “I may not be having the above mentioned things,I may long to get these things??but without this also i am happy !!Main kya hai life mein !!!to have all these things and remain unhappy like you(friend ka bank balance accha hai!!but bill maine bhara!!) or be happy with or without above mentioned things!!! My god keeps me happy thats important for me!!!!



What you guys think….????



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Posted in Love.

5 comments



Sania ……a Momental Pleasure…

Sania ……a Momental Pleasure…


This is a very funny incident that had happened thought to share with you guys ,After my office hours i was going back home there was traffic and


i had to go to the busstop which was at other end,I was trying to cross the road but in vain.
There were normal office guys and other people who were along with me some managed to cross the road and some went straight ahead to cross


the road from other side.
I suddenly heard a sweet girl talking to herself and bit frustrated with herself.She went bit ahead to check any Auto Rickshaw ,if she managed to


get i was just trying to find what this girl was upto and a sweet looking may be between 18-20 age or may me younger than that (Girls never tell


their age and Men dont bother to check till their motive is achieved..Anonymous).
Suddenly she looked at me and said ” yahaan rickshaw ka bahot problem hai”.I said “yes that the reason I travel always by Bus ” she looked at


me and smiled .I asked her where you want to go to which she replied ” 4 bungalows at Lokhandwala”and she asked me where did i want to go


“ab kya bolu mereko toh road cross karna hai kidhar jaana nahi hai”
I replied “Station”Ok…I told her that she can try rickshaw from other end after crossing the road to which she agreed.
We crossed the road till divider and we were standing together in between the road.i,e on divider and the cars were moving faster she thought to


wait for while before crossing the road and since she didnt cross the road I had to give her company.
Suddenly she said “Crossing the roads give me Goosebumps” Ok I said catch my hand..and she immediately agreed to that “Oh my god this


was the first time an unknown beauty with so much of innocence on her face and sweet heart without knowing the other persons intention gave


her hand ” I was freaked out how can i lose this opportunity and my mind started wandering aree ab kya????
Ailya ladki ne haath diya !!!! the devil in me said “Oye sochta kya hai ..#nos le..le “I was holding her hands and slowly slowly crossing the


roads..wow life can be so nice..ab yaad aya subhah maine hanuman chalisa padha tha …you start wondering “Bhagwan hai ,sabki sunta hai”


while thinking road kab cross hua pata hi nahi chala aur phir uska haath mere haathon se nikal gaya..
In mean while i managed to know her name her name was “Sania”
She asked 2 auto rickshaw wala they didnt ply for her request to go to lokhandwala.then i managed to get one..
She sat in rickshaw and with a smile she said ” Thank u Bhaisaab”".Mom always says “Never talk to strangers” I will obey her now onwards



Posted in Love.

9 comments



DONT WASTE–

Dear All

This is a story I heard, from Shri. Satya Narayana Goenkaji, while I was undergoing Vipassana meditation. We have no right to waste food, things, resources, we need to keep everything to the optimum use. It’s a story from the times of buddha.

Buddha, one day, was in deep thought about the worldly activities and the ways of instilling goodness in human beings. One of his disciples approached him and said humbly “Oh my teacher! While you are so much concerned about the world and others, why don’t you look in to the welfare and needs of your own disciples also.”

Buddha : “OK.. Tell me how I can help you”

Disciple : “Master! My attire is worn out and is beyond the decency to wear the same. Can I get a new one, please?”

Buddha found the robe indeed was in a bad condition and needed replacement. He asked the store keeper to give the disciple a new robe to wear on. The disciple thanked Buddha and retired to his room. A while later, he went to his disciple’s place and asked him “Is your new attire comfortable? Do you need anything more ?”

Disciple : “Thank you my Master. The attire is indeed very comfortable. I need nothing more”

Buddha : “Having got the new one, what did you do with your old attire?”

Disciple : “I am using it as my bed spread”

Buddha : “Then.. hope you have disposed off your old bed spread”

Disciple : ” No.. no.. master. I am using my old bedspread as my window curtain”

Buddha : ” What about your old Curtain? “

Disciple : “Being used to handle hot utensils in the kitchen “

Buddha : “Oh.. I see.. Can you tell me what did they do with the old cloth they used in Kitchen “

Disciple : “They are being used to wash the floor. “

Buddha : ” Then, the old rug being used to wash the floor…? “

Disciple: ” Master, since they were torn off so much, we could not find any better use, but to use as a twig in the oil lamp, which is right now lit in your study room…. “

Buddha smiled in contentment and left for his room.

If not to this degree of utilization, can we at least attempt to find the best use of all our resources at home and in office?

We need to handle wisely, all the resources earth has bestowed us with both natural and material so that they can be saved for the generations to come.

Posted in Philosophy.

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