Untitled

WHERE ARE YOU??

Quite a few of my classmates have gone missing over the years……And I often wonder whether they think about me and wonder where I am…….I have always wanted to know about Edna…..a girl we all liked to hate. She must’ve been my classmate in the 3rd standard or so but I vividly remember her stealing my tiffin and forcing me to buy red colored chocolates we used to get at the shack just outside the school gate. We would then rub the chocolates on our lips to get the “feel” of applying lipstick……Edna with her teeth sticking out….Cruel, plump, Edna……where are you??

When Anju joined us in the 7th standard as a fresher in the middle of the term she seemed like she had dropped from fairyland. Soft spoken and prim and “propah” to the core we hated her coz she was everything we were not…..Her hairstyle had us eating out of our hands…..her hair were cut short and swept back, so we called it the “dove cut”. While at a school picnic I realised that she is not snobbish as we had imagined her to be….I decided I would like to have her as my friend…But just a few days later Anju’s dad was transferred, so they left town and we had no address to contact her….I never got the opportunity to tell you I liked you Anju……where are you??

I was almost in love with Nita….At just 11 years of age she defined beauty for me……If as a girl she had me drooling I wonder what she must’ve done to the guys in school. She was simple as simple can be, yet ethereally beautiful….I always wished she would like me as much as I liked her but her group of friends was different from mine. I remember she had gifted me a scarf like thing which I managed to lose, unfortunately and I mourned the loss of it for quite a few days. Because that was all I was left with as a memory of Nita….A porcelain beauty with soft silky hair and a heart warming smile, Nita…………where are you??

No movie that I ever saw while growing up was complete without Baby Guddu…..She was the daughter everyone wanted to have….As kids, she was our role model….She taught us how to cry perfectly, how to be perfectly naughty and how to be perfectly cute as well…..I never ever thought she would grow up….I did a complete search about her on the internet recently to know what happened of her after she left films….I don’t even know her real name…Wonder child…..where are you??

The missing people list could go on…..all I can do is hope and pray that each one of you is safe and happy wherever you are………….


 

Untitled

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ZOYA’S PRINCE CHARMING………(Concluded)

The day started off as any other…..Saahil bent down to kiss Zeeshan as he slept peacefully….Zoya stood at a distance watching the two of them. Saahil was off to a business trip and she knew she would miss his presence. As they sat having breakfast, Dadi Ammi lightly teased Saahil that soon Zeeshan would need a sibling to play with. Saahil smiled as he looked at Zoya, her cheeks flushing pink, the comment having caught her unawares. Saahil hugged Dadi Ammi and Zoya and was soon off to the airport……

It would take him 4 hours to land in Delhi, so there was plenty of time for him to call, thought Zoya. She reclined on the sofa to catch up with the news having just helped Zeeshan with his studies. He was off to playing his video games. She switched on the news channel as Dadi Ammi came to join her. ” Our sources report that the left wing caught fire as the plane crashed on its way to Delhi. There have been reports of survivors……..”. The rest of the words sounded like voices from the outer world as Zoya and Dadi Ammi stared at the screen, too stunned to ask questions that they didn’t want answered. The flight number flashing on the screen was of the same plane that Saahil had boarded.

Zoya was the first one to muster courage, as she lightly touched Dadi Ammi’s shoulder. The wail let out by the elderly lady seemed like it was wrenched out of the core of her heart. Zoya held her in her embrace for as long as it took for her sobs to die down. Hearing them Zeeshan had come out of his room, now standing dumbfounded hearing the news flashing on TV. At 8 years he understood fully well what was happening. The maid held him close to her as she looked at Zoya, admiring for a brief second the strength of this woman as she held consoling Dadi Ammi, her own face drained of blood and eyes that looked zapped of life. Zoya urged Dadi Ammi to her room, and once assured that she was settled in bed, placed a call to their family doctor. She would want him at hand considering Dadi Ammi’s delicate health. She went to the drawing room, knowing fully well that she had to hold on to the last straw of hope and make the all important call of her life………

As she dialled the emergency number provided by the airport authorities, Zeeshan came over and clung to her arm mutely. She held him tightly as the call went through. “I am calling to enquire about the plane crash that happened a while ago. My husband was one of the passengers”, she said as she finally found her voice.”We would like a description Ma’am…” said the voice on the other side. “The plane crashed in an area with thick foliage of trees. We have 20 survivors with some injuries. There is a search and rescue operation going on for more…..”. “His name is Saahil Syed. He was wearing a sky blue color shirt (That’s his favourite color….He keeps telling me that pink reflects beautifully on my cheeks and I think the blue personifies so much that he is…….boundless and encompassing us all, with his love and care, like the sky….)with a navy blue jacket and trousers. He has a mole on his neck(And I fit in quite well in the crevice of his neck….like i belong there and when he passes his fingers through my hair, slight tremors run through my body although I haven’t told him about it……). He was carrying a briefcase with his name engraved on the top. (And although he looks as prim and proper as a businessman, he is more of a child at heart….when you search for him please don’t forget to search for a man with a disarming smile that can melt me even from a distance. He makes me laugh when he feels I am feeling blue and he teases me till I turn crimson at the cheeks. He understands my weaknesses always trying to help me overcome them. And i often wonder how he manages to come up with solutions to my problems even before I foresee them…..And yes he is a romantic at heart too……always sending me flowers when I am least expecting them, the odd call when I know he is busy in a meeting, the surprise dinner dates and the long drives at night with not a word spoken between the two of us, the silence more comfortable than a thousand words…..He is the strength this family needs, a father Zeeshan looks up to and a son that Dadi Ammi is proud of…..Please search with all your heart, among the survivors, the one person in this family who plays such varied roles with a maturity so alarming and true, just admiring and thinking about him can reduce you to tears……Search for him today with all your heart for all i can do is pray. Pray that you get my husband back to me……my husband, my prince charming…………). Zoya snapped out of the trance as the dull sound of the dead end at the other side registered and she held on to Zeeshan as she finally let the tears flow. She couldn’t let out the sob that was curling around her heart for she was the strength of the family at this hour…….

A couple of hours later Zoya sat in the drawing room with Zeeshan’s head in her lap and Dadi Ammi and the family doctor sitting pensive, there was still no news from the airport authorities. No one spoke a word for there wasn’t much to say. As the clock ticked by, the silence was broken by the sudden opening of the front door. And as all faces turned towards it there stood Saahil…..ragged clothes, looking completely shaken, the relief on his face starkly obvious…..No one moved for a moment, the shock making them wonder if it was a dream after all…….Zeeshan was the first one to move as he ran towards him, followed by Dadi Ammi. Saahil entered through the door to hug her, as the family doctor soon joined in to examine the bandages and the minor bruises……..The maids were letting out sighs of relief and through the commotion that followed Zoya stood transfixed at one spot……And finally their eyes met…….

As Saahil looked at her he saw today not his wife standing before him……..What he could see today was the girl Zoya, her soul reflecting in her eyes……..The Zoya he had always wanted to see…..And they smiled at each other. Each one knowing that today was a new beginning………

Concluded…….. 

 


 

Untitled

 

 

 

ZOYA AND SAAHIL (Part II)

 

Zoya was not a stranger to Saahil. He had seen her a couple of times with her group of friends. Moreover he had known Gunjan, Zoya's closest friend. Gunjan was Zoya's diary in person. She would confide in Gunjan her hopes and fears, her secrets and thoughts, everything except her prince charming. Hearing what he had from Gunjan, Saahil had taken an instant liking to Zoya.

 

Always one to count her blessings Zoya instantly liked Saahil as she entered a new phase of her life. He was a wonderful husband and a great human being. She liked his company, their daily banter, their jokes ' she had found a friend in her husband. Her moral support, her pillar of strength ' but he was not her prince charming. There had been no romantic prelude to their marriage. In Zoya, Saahil had found the life partner he had always wanted. But he knew something was amiss He had touched her heart, but her soul?

 

She had not let him anywhere close to her soul and he could read it in her eyes. Yet she was caring and protective about him. Saahil had struck a chord in Zoya's heart. For he had lost his parents, his only sister and her husband in a plane crash. His ray of hope in life had been his Dadi Ammi and little Zeeshan, his sister's son. Dadi Ammi had always wanted a wonderful daughter-in-law and in Zoya she had found a daughter. Zeeshan took to Zoya like fish takes to water. She became his Choti Ammi, until one day Zoya voiced a wish to Saahil that stunned him and everyone else ..Zoya wished to be Zeeshan's Ammi by legally adopting him

 

Dadi Ammi couldn't thank God enough for showering so much happiness on them ..

 

To be continued………..


 

Untitled

 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 


 

 

ZOYA (Part I)



Zoya was a dreamer…..Laughter followed her at will and instantly spread to those around her. There was always a spring in her step, a zest for life written all over her face. “Spunky” was the word that could describe Zoya the best. And Zoya had a secret………



Her world of dreams harboured her prince charming. The sketch so clear in her mind, she could almost reach out and touch him. Romantic, loving, caring - picture perfect to the core. Naughty at times, tiltillatingly aggressive, possessive - nothing less than a greek God. He would come riding a white horse, with a shining armour and a sword and sweep Zoya off her feet. She sensed his being in her heart, soul and mind and he grew to be a part of her. She knew she would settle for nothing less than what her dreams had to offer. Zoya kept him safely esconced in her dreams and her heart. For no one would understand her prince charming. Because Zoya was a tomboy……..



She was always one of the guys. And the unwritten verdict was that Zoya could never fall in love. But she knew that some day her eyes would single him out from the crowd………He would be there….as real as the sound of her heartbeats…….



Seasons passed and Zoya’s soulmate never surfaced. She clung to her hopes fiercely till the inevitable happened…….She was betrothed to Saahil……..A stranger nowhere close to her greek God…….



 



To be continued……….


 

MY FATHER - MY HERO…….

I believe there are three D’s associated with daughters’ - Daughters are Daddys’ Delight!!. While mothers love for her children is widely written & spoken about , the stern faced but soft hearted Daddys are often overlooked.


As I try to recall memories of Daddy when he were younger, my mind conjures up a hazy picture of a skinny man in bell-bottoms. Thick unruly hair, dark skin, prominent moustache - my mind’s eye can see way beyond that. Captivated in the recesses of my memories is the steely resolve in the honey coloured eyes, the veins jutting out at the back of his palm(the result of relentless hard work) and a bright, heart warming smile, which even in this day & age reveals the child within him. And it comes even more so to the fore when he talks about his childhood. Daddy had the kind of childhood that kids of the present generation can only read about. His eyes sparkle some more when he narrates his childhood capers and before your eyes unfolds a man whose soul seems connected to the elements of nature.


Listening to his animated talks of his childhood adventures easily drifts you to a world which you would’ve loved to be a part of. Hunting, fishing, swimming, rowing - he seems to have done it all!We could never overlook the mischievous gleam in his eyes that shone to the hilt when he spoke of how he, along with his bunch of friends used to steal fruits from people’s backyards. My didi would often ask him as to how he got the time to study amidst all this. He would laugh in reply. As if to say that in time you will realise that life’s lessons are not to be learned within the four walls of a classroom.


Certain people exhibit certain qualities that helps them stand out from the rest. When it comes to Dad it is his optimism. From the time I came of age I never saw him in a pessimistic frame of mind. He might’ve had self doubts in moments of privacy (Although I can’t bring myself to believe that). Every task, however big or small, that he has undertaken, he has fulfilled it successfully with a positive frame of mind. It took me a while to realize that such positivity stems from a firm belief in GOD. In good times and bad his trust in HIM never faded, in fact it increased manifold. It is this devotion that must’ve helped him see thru’ the toughest time of his life during which he saw major upheavals in his personal and professional life. I’ve seen him stand like a rock amongst a financial crisis. At the age of 50 when many would relax and reminisce about the life they’ve had I’ve seen my father restart his life.And thru’ the trying times he has had, he never lost his sense of humour.


Principled, witty and charming - today my father stands tall before me as my life’s greatest inspiration. And for all the years that I’ve walked on this earth I’ve yet to come across anyone who can measure up to my father - my hero!


 

A tribute……….







On October 27, 1980 Kalpana Chawla wrote a poem to her friend, which she titled ‘Toward the Goal’………….



D
ive deep down

An aim awaits

Pearls peep

For your hands to reach

Just yours

For years, decades and ages

A door lies locked

A pearl in the shell

A secret in the brain

Open it

Break it

Reveal it

Fly high


 

And I wonder……















"People see things that are and say, why? I see things that can be and say, why not?"



                                                                -  George Bernard Shaw



 



Rules are tormenting to follow and exciting to flout, but they are set nevertheless. From what we eat to how we live is governed by a set of rules. But matters of the heart are beyond the mundane .no tried and tested methods work here. Its no surprise then that eyebrows are raised when a 20 something finds her soul mate in a middle aged man or when a 25 year old settles for a 30 year old bride . Tongues wag and gossips spread even faster than wildfires I often wonder why love is not spared of the centuries old diktats. If two people in love agree to look beyond caste, creed, culture, color, race and age and decide to be together in good times and worse, then we need to celebrate the triumph of love. Not dwell on the logics and reasons of why they should not defy the obvious. Let love flourish within you and in the lives of those around you, don't bind it down to follow norms for there is nothing more pure than love that brings two souls together!


 

I Love You……………

And I'm here ..in a crowd of people. I smile, I talk and laughter fills the air. Life seems so good .everything's bright and fair. I excel at my work, my seniors pat my back. I plan to learn more, to make up for what I lack. Over a cup of tea, I share a joke or two ..there is a sense of comfort with colleagues old and new. I'm drowned in the lap of comfort this place is new and good. I'm thanking God every minute .because I know I should. For a woman I've come quite far .there is a shower of praises. I don't let prejudices cow me down .life is full of mazes. A career, money and place under the sun, I've made a mark of my own. Mom and Dad are happy, their lil girl has grown.


The setting is so perfect .life seems like a dream. My bag of goodies is full, its flowing over the brim. What then does my heart yearn for .the craving has begun to hurt….I seem to be searching for someone, people mill around me but ..


There is a voice I need to hear, a hand I want to hold .I want to live a lifetime with you ..With you I want to watch sunsets gold .its the circle of your arms that I'm yearning for, not these wordly snares. If you come back to me again…..my heart I promise I'll bare .the feelings that I have left unexpressed, I'll give them the form of words, your love has taught me the meaning of life I love you so much it hurts


 

If……..


Rudyard Kipling
If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And - which is more - you’ll be a Man my son!


 

Home and away………

One phone call from my didi, announcing that she was taking me to Dubai for a wide variety of reasons, changed my life and the size of my wallet drastically . I went on a shopping binge because the plan of action was to get a job in Dubai while on visit . So, though it is a shopper's paradise i added a few good outfits in my kitty before i could attack the malls….So I, me, myself landed in the land of Arabs  with no clue about which way life would go henceforth. That kept me away from family, friends n blogs (that explains my absence from iland).

Dubai is not the same old place some said, the standard of living has increased by leaps and bounds and it is not so easy to find the right kind of jobs nemore…..Despite the warnings I left the carefree, happy-go-lucky goan life miles behind n found myself trapped in a not so exciting life behind a closed door flat…..Two months of struggling helped me land a job as a Network Engineer in Sony Gulf….my folks were thrilled at my new found success and compliments flowed in like wine from heaven…..
So, i had finally made it !!! The cr'me de la cr'me of shopping malls to choose from, the view of the Burj-al-Arab while on my way for work, an MNC to work in……..well can life get any better??? 
Surprisingly yes………..I happened to speak to a fellow Indian and he put in words what had been on my mind since the time I came here…….he said, ”This place has everything to offer, except that lil something and even after years of living here u realize that it is that lil something that is absolutely essential to live life………” By that he probably meant the feeling of belonging ' to ur family, ur people n ur country. The feeling of walking down the street and knowing that u'll come across a couple of familiar faces and stop to enquire how they are doing .knowing that u never have to renew a visa that decides whether u stay or leave .knowing that 15th August and 26th January are a celebration (sigh!)

Well we all are like migratory birds here ..we'll return to our nests when the sun sets .home is where the heart is folks!