taken from my diary:
11 june 2006
donno why, but i jus don feel like blogging on iland these days.
it’s been long.
is it the got-bored-of-it phenomenon givin another twist to my life?
or time bringin in another change from within me?
or is it that ‘m goin thru somethin that i cant write?
or may b jus that i’m not gettin a new topic / thought to scribble about?
or cud it b that m groin too lazy n cant think of leavin the mouse for the keyboard?
i might never kno.
nor do i want to : )
i’m a person who rely pretty much on my instincts..
it may not sound logical or good,
but i feel that they’re better.
or may b that’s jus anothr instict of mine :P
watever.
but this thing’s been out-of-order lately.
i kno that these gut feels don work all the time..
well that’s ok.
but i jus don like it when nothin works
for as long as whole a week! >: (
finally i’m back up!
… with a bang!!
(eh, or may b u can say a blog :P
donno wat happened all of a sudden today.
but i’m back n i’m happy, although i’m still wonderin..
wat this mood swingwas all about :S ?!
was it somethin i read?
somethin someone said or did?
or was it the world cup football shedule i got by mail?
or all u guys n grlz cheerin me up?
may b i’ll never kno.. or may b i don want to :)
but i must say frnds in ineed r frnds indeed!
thnk u one and all for bringin mi soul back to life!
(amazin wat a few words can do!)
for some reason i’m pretty much down this week.
i get into this thing once in a year or two.
guess everyone does once in a while..
the strange thing is that i donno wats troublin me.
donno the coz, donno wats goin inside me,
donno wats wrong..
i jus kno that i’m down.
n i kno its gonna get over.. soon.
may b a li’l darkness is wat makes light more beautiful..
isnt it tru that we really dont kno wat truly makes us happy?
i mean we only compare to the others,
wishin if we had wat they hav we’d b happy..
n when we hav it we think that was not the one
and look around for another one.
if only we knew..
wat if u stumbled on a magic lamp..
n a gini comes out askin for ur 3 wishes?
wat wud u ask for?
world peace? b rich?
a beautiful partner?
b famous?
after ur wildestones r over,
think again wat wud u really ask for..
was ther somethin in u that u wanted very much that
wudreally satisfy u /make u happy
..but u cudnt tell the xact thing?
y do ppl consider darkness to b evil
n light goodness.
i mean wat do they gotto do with humans?
is it a thought rooted in us.
(like they say geometry is?
hard-wired into our brains?)
light : life :: darkness : death ?
or has it got more implications / meanings?
watever the story is, i kno one thing for sure..
ther’s a hell lot we do not kno !
the last one week was real real pain!
first i broke my data cable.
then they say its not available here
or there or anywhere..
y? cos they’re comin with a nu type.
experienced some nu pains!
the pain of waitin..
the pain of holdin calls..
the pain of goin without the internet..
n atlast when i got the cable
they send it with the old installation cd :
more pains continue..
it was shwets blog - http://tinyurl.com/enmnq -
that brought back these memory..
it was my last football tournament in jeddah.
after the 8th std exams.. we’d reached the finals.
a long hard match..
n ever since we took the lead 2 goals to 1,
the match seemed to b goin eternal.
we wer playin defensive now.
minutes felt like hours..
a redcard for us n we wer down to 10 guys.
10 mins to full time..
they wer goin mad now. they wer the winners for the last two yrs.
loosin this was unthinkable. they wer gettin hostile.
a risky challenge n i was tryin for a counter attack to ease their endless attacks.
still donno how but i was down n hurt very badly.
was painin like hell.. n i told my captain i cant play..
we had no substitutions left.
n 9 can never hold againist 11 angry players.
n this moment i’ll never forget..
one of my team-matescame up to me n said:
“u can control pain. but not destiny..
u have to make it happen. hav to try..
c’mon .. “
may b i’d heard wat he saidor may b not.
but i didnt wanna let him down.
n so i got up to get fouled again.
n again.. but we defended well.
n i did make a good save too.
we held on good n went on to win.
like always,
i thought a lot about wat he said.
how tru it was.
pain is somethin we can control.
it’s hard but we can.
to sadiq my frnd,
who loves to eat.
eats to live,
n lives to eat.
spl thnx to deepa n himanshu for the sparks..
infatuation is like a pack of ptato chips,
looks n tastes gud, but u never can hav too much..
romance is like a bar of chocolate,
sweet, lingerin for a long long time..
love’s like a cup of coffee
an addiction, a world of its own
marryin’s like havin coffee n chocolate cake together,
donno wat’ll taste bitter n which one’ll b sweet
n life? well now, that’s a buffet.
it’s all about wat u choose to take..
