jerome

When I Switched off my Mobile

Do you use a cell phone?

Please don't mind that question . I know you must be thinking how someone could be so dumb to ask it these days! Obviously, everyone uses it. People even carry two or three mobiles depending on their life style.  

Life without a mobile phone can be such a handicap!

It is like you are lost and don't know where to go or what to do. It might seem like one has been stranded on an uninhabited island, in the middle of the ocean somewhere with not a single soul that one can communicate with!!

A temporary loss of memory would be far easier to get along with, than losing one's cell phone even for a very short time!

Funnily enough, try this . Switch off your phone for a couple of hours, and listen to the desperation and concern of your friends and family when you can finally be reached again!!!

((Come to think of it, isn't that an easy way to know who all really care about you? J ))

Once, I did exactly that J J

Of course, not to test anybody!

Had been talking on the cell continuously for sometime . Didn't feel like taking any more calls for the day so, switched it off without giving a second thought.

I REGRET it to this day!!!!

My friends went desperate trying to get in touch with me, to know if everything was fine Why had I switched off my mobile? What had happened? And blah blah

The friend, who first discovered that I could not be reached on mobile, informed another after trying a couple of times As they didn't have any of my family member's number, they went on trying my number frantically When I finally switched it on, I was immediately bombarded with so many questions; a lawyer could have been put to shame!!

I was made to appear in their court, once they knew I was fine (Meet us right now, and then we'll talk about this!).

And the grueling began

It didn’t matter how many number of times I told them that there was no need to be so concerned, that I had switched it off just because I didn't feel like taking any calls for the day….. They could not be convinced :((((

All conceivable reasons were explored

Everything okay at home? …… (Of course!)

Do you want to escape your boss' calls?   .. (Not really!)

Is someone troubling you?   … (No!)

Is your ex trying to get back in touch with you?   .. (Give me a break!!!)

& Finally, Are you trying to avoid any of us? (Now, come off it!)

The funniest part was when this friend of mine (female), not satisfied with any of my explanations, and fully convinced that there was something really worrisome that I was trying to hide, said:

"Okay. Now, come on. Look into my eyes and tell me what's it?"

(Ha ha ha ha ….!!!!) 

(She believes that I will not be able to lie looking straight into her eyes!!)

And their reason for all the grueling was: This girl cannot be imagined without her cell phone. Everytime we try calling at her number it is invariably busy. She has never ever switched it off before. What made her do that now?

Anyhow, though not intentionally, I came to know how concerned my friends are for me J  

This isn’t being preposterous!!!

Theism or Religion?

They:  You are so religious!!!

Me: No, I am not!!! I am just a very firm believer in God!

They: Isn't that being religious?

Me: Of course not! I am only a theist. Religion doesn't even make sense to me!!

They:????? You are absurd!!

Me: Am I???

I have a long history of grappling with this idea and trying to identify what and where exactly did my faith lie. And finally when I have found an answer to my way of belief, people have started finding me preposterous!!

I have had a very strong belief in God and still do. But every time people call me religious I can not help but flinch at it.  From the earliest that I can remember, GOD, for me, never had a name other than god itself. I have found it impossible to relate to any one God or Goddess or find any of the rules laid out for us in the holy books, plausible.  

'Sight-seeing' is more a reason for my visits to places of worship than paying obeisance. And I have found that I get more fascinated with the interiors of these places of worship, the beauty of the figurines, their grand dresses and adornments, and not to forget, people performing difficult religious rituals to please almighty.

And every time after coming back from a temple I have realized that I forgot to ask God what I wanted!! Or even say a proper prayer!! Sometimes missing God itself!!

One may get impressed or perplexed watching people follow those nonsensical rules, sometimes even hurting themselves in the process Ask them a 'WHY' and I bet they won't have an answer except that religion is not about whys!! It is about belief (blind belief?). 

Sometimes I wonder if God is really interested in what we eat/drink/wear? Eating non-vegetarian food may be okay for some days and account to profanity on others? How it is that God would be unhappy with those who do not spend enough time in his/her praise/prayers and would take punitive action against them regardless of other things? 

More than being mystified I am hurt with this image of God. And the first thing that comes to my mind is that if this is really what God is and God demands all that from us, I am sorry, but I do not think that image any worthy of worship!!

Of course I am not preposterous in my way of belief!!!

The confusion has probably arisen because people have forgotten that God did not write the Holy Scriptures nor dictated it for us! It is 'people' who, centuries ago, put some principles in writing as a form of code, depending on what they assumed would please God (and also to keep people under a morality check).

Culture and practices followed by the society at the time when a particular religion was founded have been instrumental in deciding what rules were laid out for generations to follow. Some have obviously become obsolete for years now but those who were the decision-makers aren't there any more, and no one else would dare to even mention something as blasphemous!!!

Neither disobedience nor questioning is permitted in religion. So we are stuck with practices that might have long lost their relevance and create more uncertainty than increasing our faith.

If morality is what matters, Real morality cannot be mere obedience. For a person to be morally responsible, they must be able to reason out their choices and decide for themselves.

This does not mean that I do not respect a religion.

But please, don't ask me to follow it!!!

Do you believe in live-in relationships? What do you think of Public Display of Affection (PDA)? How about dating? And more recently, do you go pubbing?

But shouldn't I reframe the question as, 'Are we allowed thinking and having an opinion of ourselves?'

The self appointed guardians of Indian culture and tradition have commandingly taken up the task of defining our set of values and norms for us and making us adhere to what they perceive has been Indian tradition and culture for thousand of years. And in this, they have been violently authoritative in imposing THEIR assessment of OUR values, leaving the society as a whole, all aside, in deciding how we want to lead our lives.

Probably these handful of dogmatic people know better than hundreds of thousands of others of the society who has, in their opinion, been so recklessly irresponsible as to not yet realize the evils of western influences. Even if for a moment we presume them to be right in their endeavors (of course, after turning ourselves blind to their method of action), do they actually understand culture/tradition? Do these ruffians-in-disguise really familiar with what is culture and what makes it?

 All of us really need to get it into our heads that culture is NO 'fixed set of values'!! Culture or civilization, taken in its wide ethnographic sense, is that complex whole which includes knowledge, belief, art, morals, law, custom, and any other capabilities and habits acquired by man as a member of society*.  It isn't something mentioned in some historical books written by sages thousands of years ago to be followed earnestly by everyone until the end of humanity!!

Culture is dynamic and an end product of influences by a number of factors acting at that time. It is under a constant process of transformation and reflects the attitudes, education and progress of a society and civilization.

To talk of our own country, the culture of India has been shaped by its long history, its unique geography and the absorption of customs, traditions and ideas from some of its neighbors as well as by preserving its ancient heritages, which were formed during the Indus Valley Civilization and evolved further during the Vedic age, rise and decline of Buddhism, Golden age, Muslim conquests and European colonization*. India’s great diversity of cultural practices, languages, customs, and traditions are examples of this unique co-mingling over the past five millennia*.

In the present times, it has been under a greater influence due to globalisation, expansion of international commerce, industrialization, setting up of BPOs which cater to people outside India, mass media and higher levels of education. Lakhs of Indians who move to foreign shores every year in search of greener pastures, some settling abroad and some returning back, have played an important role in this regard. It can be said that humanity is in a global “accelerating culture change period“.* For any society, culture is a tug-of-war between forces that encourage change and forces resisting them. When the question is about a conservative society existing in India, sometimes it becomes difficult to maintain the balance between these two forces and hence the confusion and consequent resistance by some quarters that we are finding today.

However, having said that, is it justified to take charge in one's own hands and indulge in violent activities in the name of culture when it is actually you who is finding yourself unable to keep pace with the change?

What is more important is that we maintain the delicate balance between our traditions and western influences and not to get lost in the process. We need to be able to judge for ourselves what is right for us and can do without a forceful imposition by sticks and stones as adopted by our moral-policemen. The state has no business intruding in people's private lives.

Let US decide for ourselves.

We don't want YOU to dictate what is right and wrong for us.

Let us use our OWN heads and make our own judgements as to how WE wish to lead our personal lives.

Please don't interfere in what is NOT your business!!

*Wikipedia.com

Invariably, my first post [not really :)), though!] had to be about something that has been a great source of confusion for me… I have tried finding an answer many a times.. but, I guess, the rational person in me doesn’t let me accept anything without questioning its authenticity/validity and deservedness… Somehow, I find it really difficult to accept things.. to trust anything (or anybody, for that matter) if I am not completely convinced… and I need a REASON for everything :((

But, of course, the profoundest of these questions is RELIGION!!! one that has baffled me (and can safely include most of us) for years.. and I really wonder when I will finally get the answers to what I am looking for..

Let’s begin with sharing one of the stories that probably each one of us know… (Let me beg your pardon even before I begin, if any of my questions/confusions/reasons/perspectives hurt anybody…because I am only trying to find an answer to my questions. )

Well the story goes like this…

A sagacious person and his disciple were moving from village to village preaching and blessing people. After passing through a couple of villages they come to one when the spiritual leader stops and asks his disciple about the people living there. The disciple is happy to tell him that the villagers are righteous and helpful people, known for their goodness, kindliness and honesty. The disciple wants to know how the leader is going to bless such good people. The leader wishes that the village may get uprooted and the people displaced… and moves on…

After a while, they come to another village and the teacher again asks the same question… This time the disciple tells him that villagers are notorious for their dishonesty and wickedness and indulge in all kinds of evil practices… the wise man prays that the villagers may remain nestled comfortably where they are….  

The disciple is bewildered… He asks his teacher, why he wanted the good people to be displaced and suffer while the wicked ones may go on living happily? The leader replies that the good people on account of their virtue would spread their goodness wherever they’ll go while the people from the other village should remain confined, so that their influence on others is as less as possible….

Do you agree???

I am sorry, but how much I try, I cannot bring myself to see this reason… I don’t understand why good people were wished to be displaced… and suffer in the process.

One can get many such examples, where it is reiterated, that if you are suffering, GOD is only testing you… because GOD knows that you are capable of coming out of it… Does that imply, someone who isn’t as good (like one’s from the second village in this story), will actually find himself in a better position??

I don’t know.

Finally, I am here!!

It’s been really a very very long time that I have been thinking of creating my own blog and be able to share the excitement and enthusiasm that people everywhere have showed about blogging. I have read a number of blogs, both friends’ and others’ and have felt the need to create one for myself too… The day I realised it was within reach, I stopped writing my diary, and since then, everytime I have felt the impulse to put down something in writing, I have wished I could do it here, where it could also be shared…. and unfortunately, in all this time that I have wasted in posting my first blog, (I believe) I have lost some intense outpouring of emotions….This is my first post… and I hope, that when I have finally come round to it, I continue what I have long wished to.. and make new friends here.. Wish me all the best :))))