1)Now our men in blue (cricket) have a new designer attaire for the world cup.-is it for winning the worldcup ?heard that Kenyan players are coming with new veriety dress also;so  will we have joint winners this time ?

  2)sourav ganguly has come up with a new hair style— really dada,after your dismal performance & bad treatment by BCCI almost all hair were gone.now with your rejuvenated performances hairs are coming up  with style ?

3) according to new contract of BCCI ,players will be paid according to their  performances; - that means now sehwag will be without payment ?

4)some police & railway officials were suspended for issuing tickets to passengers without passport in samjhouta express which was blasted few days back ;- while contacted mushraf said ,they were diplomats( under cover freedom agent?)

5)britney spear has gone bald !?a new look perhaps ?; -' rakhi sawant ' is heard accusing  britney copying her style. May be that's why britney is shocked & using wigs.(recently rakhi also has gone bald).

6)what will be the name of autobiography of 'manmohan singh' ?; "YES MADAM" !

7)natwar singh is saying ,he will never come back to congress  & will join in 'samajbadi party" in up.Hmm- any more oil in up Mr singh ?
(purely for fun– not to be taken seriously)

1)finance minister chidambaram had advisedequested all the banks not to raise the intrest rate on lending,keeping in a view of inflation;within 24 hours ICICI BANK hiked it int rate by one percent.Who cares FM ?they are not poor middle class society whom FM can force to do anything .

2)AIR PORT AUTHORITY of India has decided that all airports  to have 7500 ft runway;that really nice,but is it still sufficient for our pilots to land safely ?our flights are like runnaway brides,who seldom like to touch the ground & our pilots are like govt bus driver who give you same experience as bus while landing.

3) aviation minister has announced to take all ness measure for pax safety.my advice,please put a statutory warning particularly in domestic sector' people with weak heart or with heart problem are not allowed in flight for their own safety'.( considering the horrible bumpy landing of the flights).

4)govt is saying that 'DAWOOD IBRAHIM" will not be spared & will be put into trial in the indian court  .my question "CAN YOU CATCH HIM"?

5)in an interview 'norha jones'( donot ask me who is she ?) daughter of sitar maestro pandit Ravi shankar has told that she did not consider ravishankar as his father & does not like to be asked any question about him.she even told she does not consider herself as part Indian.ohh,my my poor girl;who consider you as Indian ?we all  know you have half of firngi blood, that's what is telling all these nonsense.by the way we donot take it as racist comment.mind you, those few know you,know you as ravishankar’s daughter ,not the other wayround.

 6)lalu's father & mother- in- laws were caught while traveling ticketless.my question- what was their mistake ? they were traveling in their son-in 'law's train.why should they have ticket ?most of the people in that part of india travel without ticket, as it is their birth right(I am not saying- all  ).it is reported that they had paid fine! Poor TTE  or the DRM of that station would have paid it.anyhow it was prestige matter of their dept minister.donot worry boys,your promotion is on the way.

7)whose ghost is hunting 'Mayavati" ?it is SAHAJAHAN.poor mayavati , the taj corrider is not leaving her.she must be thinking,na sahajahan hota- na ye tajmahal banata- na mein phasta !

8)as per a news report,new castel university  of London, Cleopatra (roman queen)was intelligent,charismatic with a seductive voice , long chin &was not at all good looking. what is this?is it the reason for president george bush calls condoliza rice ‘cleo’ ?

How you like it my friends ?till next time- chow.(THIS IS PURELY FOR FUN)

aravind

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1)manmohan singh- sonia Gandhi(dil 'chhese' kya hai,app meri zan liziye)

2) jayalalitha- adman sami(thodi so to lift karade)

3)rattan tata-  mamata banerjee(aa  dekhe jara,kisme kitna hai dum)

4)mikka- rakhi sawant(kiss me,kiss me-kissme soniye)

5) condolliza rice- george bush (hum kale hua to kya hua dil wale hain)

6)parvez musharaf- benezir bhutto(chupke chupke rat din)

7)michale Jackson- bobby darling(I am bad)

8)dawood ibrahim- malika serawat(bhige hont tere)

9)amitabh-rekha(where is the party tonight)

10) lalu- rabdi(naina ladh gayi re)

 11)shilpa shetty-amar singh(main to ayee hoon up,bihar lootne)

12)vajpayee- uma bharati(ye koi ache bat nahin)

13)mulayam singh-mayavati(crazy kiya re)

14) bill Clinton- monica lewinsky(I know what u did last summer)

15)navjot sidhu- puja bedi(masti ki path sala)

16)abhisek-aishwarya(kajrare)

17)karan johar- nescaffe(mere sapono ki rani kab ayegi tu)

18)madhuri dixit-m f hussain( mein kya karu ram ,mughe budhha mil gaya)

19)valentine(himself)-bal thakray( tere mere bich mein kaisa ye bandhan anjana) 20)salman khan- black buck deer(tu jahan jahan chalega mera saya)
21)me- all the ilanders(aoo twist kare)
{p.s.- this is for fun only,don’t take it seriously)

Oh ! it is shilpa sethy again in news.now she had the opportunity to visit house of commons,where common people like you & me are not allowed.then how come shilpa  has got the lisence to enter ?simple;courtesy ' 'big brother'.no no not george bush  dear,it is the (non)celebrity prog in uk which was really unknown to almost all Indians till the racial abuse issue hit the limelight.so many people not only knew who shilpa was,but also showered sympathy for the poor weeping girl .ahh,what a great effect those calculated acting had !great shilpa,it was your best acting performance till date,she should have been nominated for oscar.any body in ministry listening ?

Now shilpa is expressing her gratitude and warmth of India to tony blair  & queen.( for the money she had won ?).poor shilpa,if at all you have to show your gratitude & affection  naybody  for all the undeserved attention, fame, money;then it should be "JADF GOODY" alone.it is her bitching & foul mouth words have gave you instant recognigation & riches.so go and give ’GOODY’ all the credit  not to tony blair.

now she has got work permission in uk.  wah!.so all the non actors,out of work actors pack your bags & rush to london,accuse somebody for racism ,get work permit.as simple as that.donot forget to say thanks ‘SHILPA“.

What are the qualities do you lookupon while appointing a maidservant ?it is really a difficult & tricky one. Ok I am just generalizing it.

Woman(wife)-choose the maid with good history & bad geography.

Man(husband)-{just opposite}prefers  good geography & bad history.

What criteria do you look for ?have any  funny comments ilanders ?

{donot ask my choice.i am a made servant }

POSITIVE OUTCOME of "NITHARI KILLING"

Ummh!surprised ?what the  hell could be there to be called as positive,when such guerlsome,merciless killing has occurred ?yes it is there.just hold your breath.no it is not the infamous building where all these alleged killing took place, it is something else.

1)to get theremains of body the police,cbi  & other authorities like dda,munipality have dug & searched the drain several times.can you tell me any drain in India being cleaned so many tines in such a span of time ?atleast the people of that area have need not think for another one year or bother for next rain  .so you guys if you have any choked drain,unclean drain or subway ,just collect some animal bones (but donot kill anybody ,get the free ones from road side) and throw them near the place you want to to be cleaned.take some photos & and call some reporter & police .just see what action they will take.or just tell you doubt another serial killer is around your area .(donot go personally to cop station,just call from out side).your drain will be cleaned in no time.

2)in matter of two months the real estate price of nithari village  adjesent to gurgaon which was in crores,now has come to mere lakhs due to bad publicity.soo, you clever guys got any clue ?

3) the poor labours living there for years have all got ration crads,photo id cards and all the basic amenities which was a dream for them.

4)except the death due to aeroplane accident where does a common man(kins of the dead person)gets this kind of huge compansetion ?(no derogatory intention for the dead ones,hope they are in heaven)

now tell me ,nithari killing have any positive side or not ?tomorrow you will hear that police,politicians & buerocrats are having a nexus for this incedence?is not it funny that our system can have a go at any thinh\everything ?

{THIS IS PURELY FOR FUN PURPOSE}

OTHER SIDE  OF CHAPPEL'S SLAP STORY.

• *  * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
• By this time biranchi maharana has become a celebrity.the infamous slap to chapel at bhubaneswar has put him into limelight.every news paper, tv channels has  covered extensively and given him fame.( it is too tempting  for  others to repete the same kind of act).
• Now let us disscus  some fonnier side of this issue.
• 1)chapel now calculating the number of states from where  no player is included in national team(ohh! Too many slap to come)
• 2)he can term it as racial abuse, as attack is only on a white man.
• 3)if it was a reply to chappel's finger gesture at eden, then what is stored for ponting,warne &macgrath ?
• 4)rumor is that chapel has complained to bcci that ganguly  was behind this attack. Inturn  bcci is verifying  whether dalmiya has any hand in it ?
• 5)dalmiya is asking for a cbi probe and has requested to see whether irfan,kaif, sehwag has any link in this matter( as they were dropped) ?
• 6)ganguly  says it shows chapel is a very bad player of short pitch ball & does not knows how to duck,orelse he could have avoided the slap.so how can  chapel teach players ( like ganguly ofcourse)to play \ avoid bouncers ?
• 7)it is rumored  that ganguly's fans have collected lakhs of rupees for reward to this man in orissa.one road may be renamed after him by cm of west Bengal.
• 8)biranchi maharana is synosore of all eyes,he will definitely win a  local election in orissa or a MP seat from west Bengal.
• 9)now don't ask me who will give surety &  bails this man  out of jail ?did   u  tell sourav ganguly ?u naughty; so similar thoughts  of all ilanders !
• {p.s-  this slap issue is really regrettable & uncalled for.this kind of things really brings shame to our country.this kind of unruly,uncivilized actions should be condemned.media  should not give importance to this type of act  .}
• DUE REGARDS  TO EVERYBODY THIS WRITING IS ONLY FOR FUN.
• Comment please.
•   

Today two guru (s) were released.first one is ofcourse Maniratnam's much awaited Abhisek,Ash starrer movie 'GURU'.Grapevine report is that it has a sizzling item number by Mallika serawat.it is  told film has similarity with 'Dhirubhai ambani' life.In that case mani has to make "guru 'part-2",so that the  famous ambani brother's fight for property can be imortalised on silver screen.

Then come 2^nd "GURU".today (Guru-2 ) navjot singh sidhhu was also released.(from jail).".so This flameboyant,outspoken,propritor of sidhuism & laughter guru definitely will"hojayega suru."Lets  see  who will hit the box office,who will take the lime light,silver screen\small screen .

And guess who will be taken by mani ratnam to do the two ambani brothers role  in  "GURU 'PART '2 " ?Hritwik,Arjun.John abraham,Govinda,Akshya, -  no- no.no, no.It will be non other than "Navjot sidhu & Sekhar suman"
Tell  me what u think ? 

1)LOVE  MAKES MAN -MAD, MARRIGE  TRURN MAD INTO MAN.

2)IN LOVE  MAN IS A SOCIAL ANIMAL, AFTER MARRIGE MAN IS A DOMESTICATED  ANIMAL.

3) LOVE IS ALCOHOL, MARRIGE IS FEVICOL.

4) LOVE IS BETWEEN TWO  SIMILAR  MINDED PERSONS, MARRIGE IS BETWEEN TWO UNIDENTICAL MINDED PERSONS.

5)LOVE  IS A THING DONE BY HUMAN ON  EARTH,MARRIGE IS FIX BY GOD IN HEAVEN( GOD IS SO BAD MATCHMAKER) 

1)LONGEST LIVING POLITICIAN  WITHOUT FOOD-’MAMATA BANEERJEE.

2)WHAT COMMON BETWEEN SONIA GANDHI & GEORGE BUSH– BOTH READ HINDI AFTER TRANSLATING INTO ENGLISH.

3)WHAT FOUR LETTER WORD GIVE HAPPINESS & IRRITATION TO LALU JADAV ?– RAIL— LIAR

4)WHAT DID RITWIK GET AFTER KISSING HEROINE IN DHOOM-2 ?– ASH.

5)WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SINGING BY THROAT & NOSE ?- LATA MANSESHKAR  &  HIMESH.