keepsharing's blog

Never in my life could i forget that first look ever , In the evening when playing with my cousins on the terrace of my Nanaji’s house i sensed that day someone was staring me from across about 4/5 buildings diagonally ideally such a long distance could have been easily ignored but then i don’t know why i sensed that look and gave a look back and moved my eye’s off quickly. After that day he was always there on the terrace though i ignored him easily whenever i was there and anyways returned to Mumbai after about a week and then engrossed in school & studies i forgot it all.
I was 11 then and he was around 16/17 well cant guess surely at that age .

Back in Mumbai the academic year flew by and again came the summer vacation time this time we had planned to spend the entire vacation at Nanji’s place . So excited at my preparations & all i was on my journey to my vacations and while thinking about all our(me and my cousins) holiday activities suddenly his face appeared in my thoughts those looks which were just gazing me his thoguht for a moment left a big smile on my face…………Now i know why……..but at that time i just thought “main iske baare mein kyun soch rahi hon” n forgot it………..but then after settling there i was quite eager to see him once ….first few days we were too busy with our outings but finally after a week got the time for our terrace plays and the first thing i did was to check was he there??? …….:-( Nopes…..i continued my games and chatting with nanji but still hoping too see him…….. while leaving from the terrace i was the last to close the door just gave a look back at his place and to my suprise he was there……our eyes met n he said a hi waving his hands ………….thinking he still remembers me i was so happy could’nt express it……..i just smiled back. And then always in the evning i made it a point to go to the terrace and have a look at him once except some days when we were out but then i missed him during those period………………………from my gallery also i could see him with his group of friends chit-chatting at night by the road side benches the day we didnt saw each other at terrace he was there to see me………i just loved that………but then the vacations came to an end and without exchanging a word or even knowing his name i had to leave the place………….was i sad???????……….dont know but then again the school life & routine…………but yes some special days his thoughts past my mind & left the same smile on my face……..as if smiling to him.

Again came the next vacation i was 13 by then…………the same things happened ………..but this time he approached me by befriending my cousins i came to know his name “Rajesh” he gave a friends card to my younger brother address to all my cousins , my brother and offcourse me saying be my friend……though i knew it was only for me……..it was a beautiful one………….but i tored the card ……..y may be out of fear mom or other elders would see it………….well he knew the card was into pieces from his younger group of friends my cousins offcourse………….but still the terrrace episodes continued with their starring sessions………and this time he also tired to approaach me directly accompanying the cable guy to our place to my luck i was there on the door i asked them whom they want to see……..he replied”cable ke paise” and was about to say something i turned my back n called out to my mamiji for attending them……..yes i know i was stupid enough to miss that chance but then was too scared………..and again the vacations ended.

The next year and then couldnt make it too Nanaji’s place bcz of vacation classes 9th and 10th…………by then i was sure he must have forgotten me and as for me he was a sweet dream .

After skipping two vacations i was again there for my tenth class vacations though i was sure its a past now especially afetr my stupid instances of ignoring him………but still hope never dies………..and it actually didnt in my case again i saw him at the terrace………..and we exchanged the same look again……….i felt as if he was saying “where were u?” and i replied “now i am here standing at a distance of few buildings”…….but all this was imagination ……how i longed to talk too him but never got that guts……….

After this vacation things changed i went too Nannaji’s place only some times or on some occasions as my academic pressure was increasing…………and even on being there hardly got the time for the terrace and whenever i was there he was not there cant expect him also to be there…………………….but then whenever he met i mean met through our terrace glances still we shared the same looks………the last one was when i was 18/19…………….i know i was a bit mature now to approach him but never did….neither did he…………..

A year back again went to my Nanaji’s place and incidentally to the terrace ……….well incidentally bcz after so many years first time went to the terrace without a hope to see him………..and to my shock his entire house was under reconstruction……..my cousin sis i guess had sensed my query n replied “patta hai yaha jyada tar log apna ghar recontruction mein daal rahe hai and wo jo ghar hai naa (pointing at his house) wo to 2 years se construction mein hai”:-(…….all my hopes for shhattered for the movement……..felt as if parted of with something special forever………..am i disappointed.????………..not actually i always considered him as a sweet dream . The starring movements shared with him are lovely memories & now when i share it with my friends my first crush story…….everyone say i was too stupid not too approach him………..may be i was ……..but for me he was the first person who made me sensed this special world ……….though it was not love or something……it is a special memory always treasured by me…………too my first crush ever if u read this (heheheheh i know now its a bit filmy) i wished i had talked to u once……….Thank you Rajesh it was a lovely feeling to share though we never shared even a word other than the looks…….:-)a song for him aate jaate khoobsurat ajane sadko pe kuch ajaan log mil jaate hai unmein se kuch log bholl jaate hain KUCH YAAD REH JAATE HAIN
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