Archive for the ‘Literature’ category

The lust for writing

September 9th, 2008

Many times, we wish to write, to be able to express ourselves in writing, but are unable to, for n number of reasons; suffice it to say without enumerating them that the reasons are natural and legitimate. We may put it off till another day, thinking that inspiration will strike us then, or we may give in to the temptation of writing err whatever! ' we may write about things we do not understand, or half understand, or do fully understand but ain't much interested in, etc. This I identify as giving in to temptation, and thus a vice. I personally call this vice as the lust for writing. Lust, because by its very nature, it is indeed so ' the desire is poignant, gigantic and then you have the unmistakable sinning heart-beats that beat the drum of evil and welcome it to the heart. When the Prophet of Gibran is asked what he thinks of good and evil, he replies, 'What is evil but good tortured by its own hunger and thirst? When good is thirsty it seeks food even in dark caves, and when it thirsts, it drinks even of dead waters.' Thus our good writer, his goodness frustrated, goes and seeks food in dark caves and drinks of dead waters.

Having now explained to you what I call as the lust for writing, let me now talk more about it. Let me begin by saying that I identify another lust ' the lust for words, that is to incessantly keep speaking, speaking, and speaking You might or might not have met a person with this particular disorder ' yeah, that's exactly what I'd like to call it ' but I have. It does not matter to him if he is talking about the kebabs of Lahore, of Lebanon or Bangalore or the Indian Independence movement; this dude has the supernatural ability to speak with equal and unabated passion about all things under the sun. I have observed that a prerequisite to having this disorder is being a narcissist. Returning back to the first lust I spoke of, there is many a writer who is afflicted with this lust. One really good example would be Shobha De. I have picked her up among the plethora of others for several reasons. One, it does not matter to society so much if a writer to satiate his lust for writing writes in the genre of fiction, for he might still churn out something good ' what should properly be called as fluke; however, it does matter to the society at large when, pardon the profanity, just for the fuck of it, writers like Shobha De, turn into pseudo-political thinkers and to satiate their lust for writing and words write about everything from cricket and football to SRK and AB to politics and Indian state's foreign and domestic policy.

Another example I think would be Khaled Hosseini's The Kiterunner. The book has been on the NYT bestseller list for weeks on end, loved by millions the world over for the simple fact that it has got its heart in the right place — agreed, WHOLEHEARTEDLY, however, there is something to its soul, which people generally miss ' which you begin to notice when you look deep enough, or perhaps understand in retrospect ' which is coarse, crude, primitive and earthy. I had smelt it out very early in the book, and read the rest of the book in a queerly ill humour. The term soul of the book might not be self-explanatory so let me elaborate. By the soul of the book, I mean the essence which lies deep below, when you go past its content, the fillings and the frills ' when you are done sympathizing with the plight of Afghanistan or admiring the quality of life of America; it gives you clues to the intents and desires with which the book was written. And then there is the political propagandizing ' the showing of America the Saviour in a good light and Russia in a bad light ' another case against the book I agree with and endorse. This precisely is what it is all about ' what it eventually boils down to ' when a writer writes, pardon again the profanity, just for the fuck of it, a lot, which he might not have anticipated, transpires; which, obviously, must be held against him. When such a thing becomes a hit, a NYT bestseller, it affects the thoughts and ideas of a whole generation, and then it begins to perturb and prick.

To ban these aforementioned writers from writing, would wound something that is still bigger and more important than these pseudo writers and their falsities: the fundamental right to the freedom of expression. But that they affect in a wrong way, and with complete impunity, the thought processes of entire generations is something that surely cannot be disregarded, and so, I think these writers must be so criticized that they be stripped naked of their literary clothes, and be revealed as they really are, and then, perhaps, as sufferers of ignominy, they would not dare write irresponsibly.

A Robert Frost Poem

January 14th, 2008


This poem will probably surprise Frost readers given his strict
adherence to rhyme. This poem I read in +2. It has stayed with me,
since then.

It is about the emotional struggle between a husband and a wife; about a man’s inability to express his feelings. The essence and the theme of the poem is contained in:





















My words are nearly always an offence.
I don't know how to speak of anything
So as to please you. But I might be taught         50
I should suppose. I can't say I see how.
A man must partly give up being a man
With women-folk. We could have some arrangement
By which I'd bind myself to keep hands off
Anything special you're a-mind to name.         55
Though I don't like such things 'twixt those that love.
Two that don't love can't live together without them.
But two that do can't live together with them."

Robert Frost (1874'1963).  .
 
 Home Burial
 

 
HE saw her from the bottom of the stairs
Before she saw him. She was starting down,
Looking back over her shoulder at some fear.
She took a doubtful step and then undid it
To raise herself and look again. He spoke         5
Advancing toward her: "What is it you see
From up there always?for I want to know."
She turned and sank upon her skirts at that,
And her face changed from terrified to dull.
He said to gain time: "What is it you see,"         10
Mounting until she cowered under him.
"I will find out now?you must tell me, dear."
She, in her place, refused him any help
With the least stiffening of her neck and silence.
She let him look, sure that he wouldn't see,         15
Blind creature; and a while he didn't see.
But at last he murmured, "Oh," and again, "Oh."
 
"What is it?what?" she said.
 
"Just that I see."
 
"You don't," she challenged. "Tell me what it is."         20
 
"The wonder is I didn't see at once.
I never noticed it from here before.
I must be wonted to it?that's the reason.
The little graveyard where my people are!
So small the window frames the whole of it.         25
Not so much larger than a bedroom, is it?
There are three stones of slate and one of marble,
Broad-shouldered little slabs there in the sunlight
On the sidehill. We haven't to mind those.
But I understand: it is not the stones,         30
But the child's mound??"
 
"Don't, don't, don't, don't," she cried.
 
She withdrew shrinking from beneath his arm
That rested on the banister, and slid downstairs;
And turned on him with such a daunting look,         35
He said twice over before he knew himself:
"Can't a man speak of his own child he's lost?"
 
"Not you! Oh, where's my hat? Oh, I don't need it!
I must get out of here. I must get air.
I don't know rightly whether any man can."         40
 
"Amy! Don't go to someone else this time.
Listen to me. I won't come down the stairs."
He sat and fixed his chin between his fists.
"There's something I should like to ask you, dear."
 
"You don't know how to ask it."         45
 
"Help me, then."
Her fingers moved the latch for all reply.
 
"My words are nearly always an offence.
I don't know how to speak of anything
So as to please you. But I might be taught         50
I should suppose. I can't say I see how.
A man must partly give up being a man
With women-folk. We could have some arrangement
By which I'd bind myself to keep hands off
Anything special you're a-mind to name.         55
Though I don't like such things 'twixt those that love.
Two that don't love can't live together without them.
But two that do can't live together with them."
She moved the latch a little. "Don't?don't go.
Don't carry it to someone else this time.         60
Tell me about it if it's something human.
Let me into your grief. I'm not so much
Unlike other folks as your standing there
Apart would make me out. Give me my chance.
I do think, though, you overdo it a little.         65
What was it brought you up to think it the thing
To take your mother-loss of a first child
So inconsolably?in the face of love.
You'd think his memory might be satisfied??"
 
"There you go sneering now!"         70
 
"I'm not, I'm not!
You make me angry. I'll come down to you.
God, what a woman! And it's come to this,
A man can't speak of his own child that's dead."
 
"You can't because you don't know how.         75
If you had any feelings, you that dug
With your own hand?how could you??his little grave;
I saw you from that very window there,
Making the gravel leap and leap in air,
Leap up, like that, like that, and land so lightly         80
And roll back down the mound beside the hole.
I thought, Who is that man? I didn't know you.
And I crept down the stairs and up the stairs
To look again, and still your spade kept lifting.
Then you came in. I heard your rumbling voice         85
Out in the kitchen, and I don't know why,
But I went near to see with my own eyes.
You could sit there with the stains on your shoes
Of the fresh earth from your own baby's grave
And talk about your everyday concerns.         90
You had stood the spade up against the wall
Outside there in the entry, for I saw it."
 
"I shall laugh the worst laugh I ever laughed.
I'm cursed. God, if I don't believe I'm cursed."
 
"I can repeat the very words you were saying.         95
'Three foggy mornings and one rainy day
Will rot the best birch fence a man can build.'
Think of it, talk like that at such a time!
What had how long it takes a birch to rot
To do with what was in the darkened parlour.         100
You couldn't care! The nearest friends can go
With anyone to death, comes so far short
They might as well not try to go at all.
No, from the time when one is sick to death,
One is alone, and he dies more alone.         105
Friends make pretence of following to the grave,
But before one is in it, their minds are turned
And making the best of their way back to life
And living people, and things they understand.
But the world's evil. I won't have grief so         110
If I can change it. Oh, I won't, I won't!"
 
"There, you have said it all and you feel better.
You won't go now. You're crying. Close the door.
The heart's gone out of it: why keep it up.
Amy! There's someone coming down the road!"         115
 
"You?oh, you think the talk is all. I must go?
Somewhere out of this house. How can I make you??"
 
"If?you?do!" She was opening the door wider.
Where do you mean to go? First tell me that.
I'll follow and bring you back by force. I will!?"         120

A Tagore story

January 8th, 2008

This story has played in my mind for a long time since the first time I read it. Especially the concluding paragraph which moved me to tears the first time I read it. I decided to put it down to rest in my page. For 70 rupees, I bought a book called “The Hungry Stones and Other Stories” by Tagore around two years back. This story I read in that book.

About the story: The story is a study in the devotion of a father towards his child. How his love for his son blinds him to the point that he does not see any fault in him at all. Few writers have dealt with the filial bondages of mother-son, father-son as effectively as Tagore. I think he is better than Premchand in this regard. This story will cultivate in you a love for his writings.


MY LORD, THE BABY


I

RAICHARAN was twelve years old when he came as a servant to his master’s house. He belonged to the same caste as his master, and was given his master’s little son to nurse. As time went on the boy left Raicharan’s arms to go to school. From school he went on to college, and after college he entered the judicial service. Always, until he married, Raicharan was his sole attendant.

But, when a mistress came into the house, Raicharan found two masters instead of one. All his former influence passed to the new mistress. This was compensated for by a fresh arrival. Anukul had a son born to him, and Raicharan by his unsparing attentions soon got a complete hold over the child. He used to toss him up in his arms, call to him in absurd baby language, put his face close to the baby’s and draw it away again with a grin.

Presently the child was able to crawl and cross the doorway. When Raicharan went to catch him, he would scream with mischievous laughter and make for safety. Raicha ran was amazed at the profound skill and exact judgment the baby showed when pursued. He would say to his mistress with a look of awe and mystery: “Your son will be a judge some day.”

New wonders came in their turn. When the baby began to toddle, that was to Raicharan an epoch in human history. When he called his father Ba-ba and his mother Ma-ma and Raicharan Chan-na, then Raicharan’s ecstasy knew no bounds. He went out to tell the news to all the world.

After a while Raicharan was asked to show his ingenuity in other ways. He had, for instance, to play the part of a horse, holding the reins between his teeth and prancing with his feet. He had also to wrestle with his little charge, and if he could not, by a wrestler’s trick, fall on his back defeated at the end, a great outcry was certain.

About this time Anukul was transferred to district on the banks of the Padma. On his way through Calcutta he bought his son a little go-cart. He bought him also a yellow satin waistcoat, a gold laced cap, and some gold bracelets and anklets. Raicharan was wont to take these out, and put them on his little charge with ceremonial pride, whenever they went for a walk.

Then came the rainy season, and day after day the rain poured down in torrents. The hungry river, like an enormous serpent, swallowed down terraces, villages, cornfields, and covered with its flood the tall grasses and wild casuarinas on the sand-banks. From time to time there was a deep thud, as the river-banks crumbled. The unceasing roar of the main current could be heard from far away. Masses of foam, carried swiftly past, proved to the eye the swiftness of the stream.

One afternoon the rain cleared. It was cloudy, but cool and bright. Raicharan’s little despot did not want to stay in on such a fine afternoon. His lordship climbed into the go-cart. Raicharan, between the shafts, dragged him slowly along till he reached the rice-fields on the banks of the river. There was no one in the fields, and no boat on the stream. Across the water, on the farther side, the clouds were rifted in the west. The silent ceremonial of the setting sun was revealed in all its glowing splendour. In the midst of that stillness the child, all of a sudden, pointed with his finger in front of him and cried: “Chan-na! Pitty fow.”

Close by on a mud-flat stood a large Kadamba tree in full flower. My lord, the baby, looked at it with greedy eyes, and Raicharan knew his meaning. Only a short time before he had made, out of these very flower balls, a small go-cart; and the child had been so entirely happy dragging it about with a string, that for the whole day Raicharan was not made to put on the reins at all. He was promoted from a horse into a groom.

But Raicharan had no wish that evening to go splashing knee-deep through the mud to reach the flowers. So he quickly pointed his finger in the opposite direction, calling out: “Oh, look, baby, look! Look at the bird.” And with all sorts of curious noises he pushed the go-cart rapidly away from the tree.

But a child, destined to be a judge, cannot be put off so easily. And besides, there was at the time nothing to attract his eyes. And you cannot keep up for ever the pretence of an imaginary bird.

The little Master’s mind was made up, and Raicharan was at his wits’ end. “Very well, baby,” he said at last, “you sit still in the cart, and I’ll go and get you the pretty flower. Only mind you don’t go near the water.”

As he said this, he made his legs bare to the knee, and waded through the oozing mud towards the tree.

The moment Raicharan had gone, his little Master went off at racing speed to the forbidden water. The baby saw the river rushing by, splashing and gurgling as it went. It seemed as though the disobedient wavelets themselves were running away from some greater Raicharan with the laughter of a thousand children. At the sight of their mischief, the heart of the human child grew excited and restless. He got down stealthily from the go-cart and toddled off towards the river. On his way he picked up a small stick, and leant over the bank of the stream pretending to fish. The mischievous fairies of the river with their mysterious voices seemed inviting him into their play-house.

Raicharan had plucked a handful of flowers from the tree, and was carrying them back in the end of his cloth, with his face wreathed in smiles. But when he reached the go-cart, there was no one there. He looked on all sides and there was no one there. He looked back at the cart and there was no one there.

In that first terrible moment his blood froze within him. Before his eyes the whole universe swam round like a dark mist. From the depth of his broken heart he gave one piercing cry: “Master, Master, little Master.”

But no voice answered “Chan-na.” No child laughed mischievously back; no scream of baby delight welcomed his return. Only the river ran on, with its splashing, gurgling noise as before,–as though it knew nothing at all, and had no time to attend to such a tiny human event as the death of a child.

As the evening passed by Raicharan’s mistress became very anxious. She sent men out on all sides to search. They went with lanterns in their hands, and reached at last the banks of the Padma. There they found Raicharan rushing up and down the fields, like a stormy wind, shouting the cry of despair:

Master, Master, little Master!

When they got Raicharan home at last, he fell prostrate at his mistress’s feet. They shook him, and questioned him, and asked him repeatedly where he had left the child; but all he could say was, that he knew nothing.

Though every one held the opinion that the Padma had swallowed the child, there was a lurking doubt left in the mind. For a band of gipsies had been noticed outside the village that afternoon, and some suspicion rested on them. The mother went so far in her wild grief as to think it possible that Raicharan himself had stolen the child. She called him aside with piteous entreaty and said: “Raicharan, give me back my baby. Oh! give me back my child. Take from me any money you ask, but give me back my child!”

Raicharan only beat his forehead in reply. His mistress ordered him out of the house.

Anukul tried to reason his wife out of this wholly unjust suspicion: “Why on earth,” he said, “should he commit such a crime as that?”

The mother only replied: “The baby had gold ornaments on his body. Who knows?”

It was impossible to reason with her after that.

II

Raicharan went back to his own village. Up to this time he had had no son, and there was no hope that any child would now be born to him. But it came about before the end of a year that his wife gave birth to a son and died.

An overwhelming resentment at first grew up in Raicharan’s heart at the sight of this new baby. At the back of his mind was resentful suspicion that it had come as a usurper in place of the little Master. He also thought it would be a grave offence to be happy with a son of his own after what had happened to his master’s little child. Indeed, if it had not been for a widowed sister, who mothered the new baby, it would not have lived long.

But a change gradually came over Raicharan’s mind. A wonderful thing happened. This new baby in turn began to crawl about, and cross the doorway with mischief in its face. It also showed an amusing cleverness in making its escape to safety. Its voice, its sounds of laughter and tears, its gestures, were those of the little Master. On some days, when Raicharan listened to its crying, his heart suddenly began thumping wildly against his ribs, and it seemed to him that his former little Master was crying somewhere in the unknown land of death because he had lost his Chan-na.

Phailna (for that was the name Raicharan’s sister gave to the new baby) soon began to talk. It learnt to say Ba-ba and Ma-ma with a baby accent. When Raicharan heard those familiar sounds the mystery suddenly became clear. The little Master could not cast off the spell of his Chan-na, and therefore he had been reborn in his own house.

The arguments in favour of this were, to Raicharan, altogether beyond dispute:

(i.) The new baby was born soon after his little master’s death.

(ii.) His wife could never have accumulated such merit as to give birth to a son in middle age.

(iii.) The new baby walked with a toddle and called out Ba-ba and Ma-ma. There was no sign lacking which marked out the future judge.

Then suddenly Raicharan remembered that terrible accusation of the mother. “Ah,” he said to himself with amazement, “the mother’s heart was right. She knew I had stolen her child.” When once he had come to this conclusion, he was filled with remorse for his past neglect. He now gave himself over, body and soul, to the new baby, and became its devoted attendant. He began to bring it up, as if it were the son of a rich man. He bought a go-cart, a yellow satin waistcoat, and a gold-embroidered cap. He melted down the ornaments of his dead wife, and made gold bangles and anklets. He refused to let the little child play with any one of the neighbourhood, and became himself its sole companion day and night. As the baby grew up to boyhood, he was so petted and spoilt and clad in such finery that the village children would call him “Your Lordship,” and jeer at him; and older people regarded Raicharan as unaccountably crazy about the child.

At last the time came for the boy to go to school. Raicharan sold his small piece of land, and went to Calcutta. There he got employment with great difficulty as a servant, and sent Phailna to school. He spared no pains to give him the best education, the best clothes, the best food. Meanwhile he lived himself on a mere handful of rice, and would say in secret: “Ah! my little Master, my dear little Master, you loved me so much that you came back to my house. You shall never suffer from any neglect of mine.”

Twelve years passed away in this manner. The boy was able to read and write well. He was bright and healthy and good-looking. He paid a great deal of attention to his personal appearance, and was specially careful in parting his hair. He was inclined to extravagance and finery, and spent money freely. He could never quite look on Raicharan as a father, because, though fatherly in affection, he had the manner of a servant. A further fault was this, that Raicharan kept secret from every one that himself was the father of the child.

The students of the hostel, where Phailna was a boarder, were greatly amused by Raicharan’s country manners, and I have to confess that behind his father’s back Phailna joined in their fun. But, in the bottom of their hearts, all the students loved the innocent and tender-hearted old man, and Phailna was very fond of him also. But, as I have said before, he loved him with a kind of condescension.

Raicharan grew older and older, and his employer was continually finding fault with him for his incompetent work. He had been starving himself for the boy’s sake. So he had grown physically weak, and no longer up to his work. He would forget things, and his mind became dull and stupid. But his employer expected a full servant’s work out of him, and would not brook excuses. The money that Raicharan had brought with him from the sale of his land was exhausted. The boy was continually grumbling about his clothes, and asking for more money.

III

Raicharan made up his mind. He gave up the situation where he was working as a servant, and left some money with Phailna and said: “I have some business to do at home in my village, and shall be back soon.”

He went off at once to Baraset where Anukul was magistrate. Anukul’s wife was still broken down with grief. She had had no other child.

One day Anukul was resting after a long and weary day in court. His wife was buying, at an exorbitant price, a herb from a mendicant quack, which was said to ensure the birth of a child. A voice of greeting was heard in the courtyard. Anukul went out to see who was there. It was Raicharan. Anukul’s heart was softened when he saw his old servant. He asked him many questions, and offered to take him back into service.

Raicharan smiled faintly, and said in reply: “I want to make obeisance to my mistress.”

Anukul went with Raicharan into the house, where the mistress did not receive him as warmly as old master. Raicharan took no notice of this, but folded his hands, and said: “It was not the Padma that stole your baby. It was I.”

Anukul exclaimed: “Great God! Eh! What! Where is he?

Raicharan replied: “He is with me. I will bring him the day after to-morrow.”

It was Sunday. There was no magistrate’s court sitting. Both husband and wife were looking expectantly along the road, waiting from early morning for Raicharan’s appearance. At ten o’clock he came, leading Phailna by the hand.

Anukul’s wife, without a question, took the boy into her lap, and was wild with excitement, sometimes laughing, sometimes weeping, touching him, kissing his hair and his forehead, and gazing into his face with hungry, eager eyes. The boy was very good-looking and dressed like a gentleman’s son. The heart of Anukul brimmed over with a sudden rush of affection.

Nevertheless the magistrate in him asked: “Have you any proofs?”

Raicharan said: “How could there be any proof of such a deed? God alone knows that I stole your boy, and no one else in the world.”

When Anukul saw how eagerly his wife was clinging to the boy, he realised the futility of asking for proofs, It would be wiser to believe. And then–where could an old man like Raicharan get such a boy from? And why should his faithful servant deceive him for nothing?

“But,” he added severely, “Raicharan, you must not stay here.”

“Where shall I go, Master?” said Raicharan, in a choking voice, folding his hands; “I am old. Who will take in an old man as a servant?”

The mistress said: “Let him stay. My child will be pleased. I forgive him.”

But Anukul’s magisterial conscience would not allow him. “No,” he said, “he cannot be forgiven for what he has done.”

Raicharan bowed to the ground, and clasped Anukul’s feet. “Master,” he cried, “let me stay. It was not I who did it. It was God.”

Anukul’s conscience was worse stricken than ever, when Raicharan tried to put the blame on God’s shoulders.

“No,” he said, “I could not allow it. I cannot trust you any more. You have done an act of treachery.”

Raicharan rose to his feet and said: “It was not I who did it.”

“Who was it then?” asked Anukul.

Raicharan replied: “It was my fate.”

But no educated man could take this for an excuse. Anukul remained obdurate.

When Phailna saw that he was the wealthy magistrate’s son, and not Raicharan’s, he was angry at first, thinking that he had been cheated all this time of his birthright. But seeing Raicharan in distress, he generously said to his father: “Father, forgive him. Even if you don’t let him live with us, let him have a small monthly pension.”

After hearing this, Raicharan did not utter another word. He looked for the last time on the face of his son; he made obeisance to his old master and mistress. Then he went out, and was mingled with the numberless people of the world.

At the end of the month Anukul sent him some money to his village. But the money came back. There was no one there of the name of Raicharan.

The Sylvia Plath effect

December 29th, 2007


TULIPS by Sylvia Plath



The tulips are too excitable, it is winter here.
Look how white everything is, how quiet, how snowed-in
I am learning peacefulness, lying by myself quietly
As the light lies on these white walls, this bed, these hands.
I am nobody; I have nothing to do with explosions.
I have given my name and my day-clothes up to the nurses
And my history to the anaesthetist and my body to surgeons.

They have propped my head between the pillow and the sheet-cuff
Like an eye between two white lids that will not shut.
Stupid pupil, it has to take everything in.
The nurses pass and pass, they are no trouble,
They pass the way gulls pass inland in their white caps,
Doing things with their hands, one just the same as another,
So it is impossible to tell how many there are.

My body is a pebble to them, they tend it as water
Tends to the pebbles it must run over, smoothing them gently.
They bring me numbness in their bright needles, they bring me sleep.
Now I have lost myself I am sick of baggage —-
My patent leather overnight case like a black pillbox,
My husband and child smiling out of the family photo;
Their smiles catch onto my skin, little smiling hooks.

I have let things slip, a thirty-year-old cargo boat
Stubbornly hanging on to my name and address.
They have swabbed me clear of my loving associations.
Scared and bare on the green plastic-pillowed trolley
I watched my tea-set, my bureaus of linen, my books
Sink out of sight, and the water went over my head.
I am a nun now, I have never been so pure.

I didn”t want any flowers, I only wanted
To lie with my hands turned up and be utterly empty.
How free it is, you have no idea how free —-
The peacefulness is so big it dazes you,
And it asks nothing, a name tag, a few trinkets.
It is what the dead close on, finally; I imagine them
Shutting their mouths on it, like a Communion tablet.

The tulips are too red in the first place, they hurt me.
Even through the gift paper I could hear them breathe
Lightly, through their white swaddlings, like an awful baby.
Their redness talks to my wound, it corresponds.
They are subtle: they seem to float, though they weigh me down,
Upsetting me with their sudden tongues and their colour,
A dozen red lead sinkers round my neck.

Nobody watched me before, now I am watched.
The tulips turn to me, and the window behind me
Where once a day the light slowly widens and slowly thins,
And I see myself, flat, ridiculous, a cut-paper shadow
Between the eye of the sun and the eyes of the tulips,
And I have no face, I have wanted to efface myself.
The vivid tulips eat my oxygen.

Before they came the air was calm enough,
Coming and going, breath by breath, without any fuss.
Then the tulips filled it up like a loud noise.
Now the air snags and eddies round them the way a river
Snags and eddies round a sunken rust-red engine.
They concentrate my attention, that was happy
Playing and resting without committing itself.

The walls, also, seem to be warming themselves.
The tulips should be behind bars like dangerous animals;
They are opening like the mouth of some great African cat,
And I am aware of my heart: it opens and closes
Its bowl of red blooms out of sheer love of me.
The water I taste is warm and salt, like the sea,
And comes from a country far away as health.


*****************


Sylvia Plath (October 27, 1932 ' February 11, 1963) was an American poet, novelist, and short story writer. Sylvia died at 31; she committed suicide and her troubled state of mind can be seen clearly in the above poem.

In this poem, the pain experienced by Sylvia is not at the 'surface' of the poem, but rather behind it and this pain is so pointed that it is almost physical. There is a white heat to the passion depicted in the poem, but, again, this passion is not immediately apparent and lies more 'behind the poem'.

Notice how she is baffled by the mere presence of tulips, the flowers that signify life: 'The vivid tulips eat my oxygen . Before they came the air was calm enough '  Tulips could never 'eat her oxygen' but because she is infinitely perturbed by the tulips, she thinks them as eating her oxygen as if to say the next moment: 'You are eating my oxygen; you are too close to me. Get out!' Notice how in 'sinking' and leaving the world behind, she feels she is rendered pure (you may read: white).
My body is a pebble to them, they tend it as water
Tends to the pebbles it must run over, smoothing them gently.
And again in:
Sink out of sight, and the water went over my head.
I am a nun now, I have never been so pure.

This idea of sinking in water is reinforced indirectly in the line:
My husband and child smiling out of the family photo;
Their smiles catch onto my skin, little smiling hooks

She also incessantly seeks out the little feelings of happiness and contentedness that this escapism brings her:
My body is a pebble to them, they tend it as water
Tends to the pebbles it must run over, smoothing them gently.
And again:
They bring me numbness in their bright needles, they bring me sleep.

Observe her feelings and desires of being free that begin to spill over from the poem and touch us as she says:
I didn”t want any flowers, I only wanted
To lie with my hands turned up and be utterly empty.
How free it is, you have no idea how free —-
The peacefulness is so big it dazes you

Sylvia says it plainly: I didn”t want any flowers, I only wanted
To lie with my hands turned up and be utterly empty.

Actually what Sylvia is afraid of are not the tulips but her own heart. She does not wish to return to life and normal living. She wishes to remain in the hospital bed and die.
The walls, also, seem to be warming themselves.
The tulips should be behind bars like dangerous animals;
They are opening like the mouth of some great African cat,
And I am aware of my heart: it opens and closes
Its bowl of red blooms out of sheer love of me.

The walls begin to warm up; I believe the heat of the walls signifies the heat of life when life rubs with us; this heat will make her recollect life all over again. Sylvia is also afraid that her heart will bloom with renewed hope for life. 'I am aware of my heart   Its bowl of red blooms out of sheer love of me.'

One can identify with Plath if one ever experiences this almost "austere" whiteness, and seeks it or receives it through escapism. One seeks to escape mostly when the pain of life begins to become unbearable. There is nothingness and whiteness to this escapism. And it is unchanging, beautiful and plain as whiteness could be. But, ironically, the pain of the realization and memory of the life left is just as raw, pointed and physical as the pain left behind, and this doubles up thus with the pain of life left behind. There remains but one way to avoid the two pains This one way is to choose to simply be; to exist in the whiteness of escapism.
I only wanted
To lie with my hands turned up and be utterly empty.

This is not exactly or only to point a finger at Sylvia and call her an escapist. Who could look inside her heart and gauge the depth of her pain caused by her failed marriage to Ted Hughes?

Many people would dismiss Sylvia's poetry and criticize her accusing her of being nothing more than an escapist. I don't think that that is the right thing to do. If poetesses like Sylvia do not tell us of pain then how would people and those who inflict pain come to know of it? Is it not important to show people a mirror, once in a while? And of course, it is in writing, and specifically poetry at that, that feelings run their whole course showing all of their true colours.

Many women who are deeply emotional by nature and feel pain and inspired by it, write poetry are said to have the 'Sylvia Plath effect'. The kind of poetry these women pen is often what is called as 'gothic'. There is a haunting and mysterious beauty to this kind of poetry. At its best, it has the power to consume the reader just as the poem as the poetess is consumed by pain and other equally powerful feelings.

I would say that I love to read this genre of poetry.

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