BTW, the following is my first ever blog on my thoughts. So it kind of feels like this is my first blog, hehehehe… Also, it is mostly disjointed, if not incoherent. In any case, the constant reader is requested to write in a comment so to “qualify” this post.
:))
Like a pendulum, I swing back and forth into believing and disbelieving in myself.
Someday, at noontide, 'the talented' in me shines with the blaze of the sun but then at eventide, it, along with the sun, is plunged into the ocean and ceases to shine.
Sometimes, when I look at the road that lies ahead, I think of scaling great heights, and at these moments, with each breath I take, some animal energy, that has the power to lift any load, begins to seep inside me. Like any young blood, I know at these times that I have originality, talent, intelligence.
And at other times, when I look over my shoulders, my shoulders dip, and then I get an even better view and so I see further down the road, and with what I see, my shoulders dip further down and so on so forth until finally I sit down on the ground and lay down my arms. :)))))
What is the significance of talent? I think talents such as singing, drawing, painting, sketching, dancing, etc., bespeak of something which is very, very noble in nature in a person. I, for instance, have a 'fetish' for girls who have a passion for singing. The fact that they can sing well readily implies that they have the ability to produce from the 'natural resources' within themselves something which is beautiful, pleasing and wholesome. Like the prophet of Kahlil Gibran said, (albeit in passing,) 'He alone is great who turns the voice of the wind into a song made sweeter by his own loving.' The memory of school too has a part to play in my 'hero'-worship of these females. That is, in spite of myself, my mind silently reasons: 'She sings so beautifully; surely she pursued what she believes in, in her music classes at school so passionately?something which I did not do and therefore I do not know the struggle, the love and the beauty that she knows.' Or: 'She sings so beautifully, surely she pursued what she believes in, in her music classes at school so passionately, something which I did too and so I know what struggle, what love and what beauty she knows.' In either case, it draws me closer to the person; I gravitate towards her or even him, as the case may be.
And then again, who can sing and not feel enthusiastic about it? It is more like you can't rotate your one hand clockwise and the other anti-clockwise, but rotate them in only one direction such that they circle around each other (or if you do, then they would no more revolve around each other?that is physics). Ditto for writing and other such artistic ventures. And so, I gravitate too towards such people.
At the same time, I often think (after having read Rand's The Fountainhead and as the writer rightly pointed out in the novel) that the brain grows, and so out of proportion at that, in the case of those people who cease to grow in other areas, perhaps who have a dearth of one of the aforementioned talents, and therefore it is not a very good thing, in fact, let me tell you that I more often than not try to 'hide' all 'outgrowths' on my 'mental skin' that look so outrageous. Sometimes it goes hidden, but sometimes, the smell it exudes often reaches the nostrils of those who have similar outgrowths. And that is what I detest, and I refuse to acknowledge any acquaintance or friendship with such people who are inflicted with a similar disease. I kind of think that we 'bad' people think of each other all the bloody time. It is actually this way: There is, in the world, good and bad and several other things (or shall we call them entities?) that must necessarily coexist for there to exist balance in the world. And therefore, the bad among these things must have 'hideouts' so they can live in peace (?). And so, they live in the minds of evil men. Pretty simple till now, eh? But now here comes my idea of 'thinking'. Now, a man who is evil will have evil in his mind. He shall think of evil. And not only will he think of evil but also of other evil men and they shall in turn be thinking of him and also evil. So now, we have people who are thinking each other and also thinking of evil. And they are thinking each other because they have similar natures. Because when they look at themselves in the mirror they are reminded of each other. Now, for the fact that evil resides in the minds of these men and these men are thinking each other, we can, by analogy, say that evil is thinking of such people. That is, the 'dwelling' of evil in the minds of evil men can, by analogy, be thought of as evil thinking these men out.
So this way, if only theoretically, we have something abstract thinking of something that exists. Similarly, good thinks of (or resides in) good men. Music thinks of (or resides in) good musicians. Poetry thinks of (or resides) in good poets. And I'd rather have music and a good lady singer think of me than something bad and bad men.
And so I like to surround myself with people who know less and/or know of more beautiful things. I think that is more proper. They after all, have only done their duty in their lives and not indulged their minds into frivolous and unnecessary thought. And whatever good fragrance their intelligent minds exude, they garnered from the aroma of flowers that grew by the wayside when they walked on the paths that they rightfully had to take, they did not go venture into the dense forests in search of something else, they did not 'go out of their way'. They do not have any nasty outgrowths on their mental skins.
Similar ramblings shall follow now from time to time. I recently discovered that my mind unfolds itself when I work my hands at MS Word.
