The Road less traversed
Devika packed her suitcase. Another summer holidays. This time unlike last time she will be going to her father's house.
She liked her mother's house a lot. At her father's place people talked very less. All were serious characters. What she liked about the huge old fashioned house was its vast library. Devu used to stand before its locked shelves longing to get one from it. It belonged to her father's elder sister's son whom Devu was afraid to approach being a very serious man who never smiled at her.
It was a joint family where her father's two brothers and elder sister lived together. Gita daughter of her father's younger brother was of her age and Sree grandson of her aunty was few years younger to Devu. The three were grate pals and used enjoyed the holidays in its full.
Her father is the only member of the family who stayed away from their ancestral home, other than his younger sister Shyama who is settled in Bombay.
When Devu landed at her father's home she saw a chubby boy she never met before. He was playing with Sree, and Gita. It was her Bombay aunt's son Krishna. Devu didn't like him at all even though they were meeting for the first time. All the children circled around him and he is giving lectures. Devu noticed from distance and didn't join the gang.
Sree invited her to the gang.
"Devu , come on this is Krishna Bombay aunt's son"
Devu didn't mind him at all, and stayed away, and watched him from distance.
She never liked the show offs of the boy. He made complaint about everything in south. One day he complained about the power failure,
"You know in Bombay we have 48 hrs power supplies"
Devu couldn't control herself she yelled back
" Buddhu, there is only 24 hrs in a day"
Krishna and Devu declared war from there on wards. They never missed a chance to pull each others legs. One month passed away so soon and Devu joined back her family and she forgot the naughty Krishna too.
Years passed , and lot of water flowed under the bridge.Gita grown up in to a beautiful lady and said good bye to her studies after her degree .Devu much studious one joined her post graduation. Sree was in his degree classes and Krishna took up his father's business after completing his studies.
Every one predicted that Krishna and Gita will be a perfect match and their parents give green signal for the marriage. Krishna was sent to south to see Gita since they haven't met for the last ten years. Devu's house was not in his visiting list since their parents does not share a good rapport.
But things shaped in to unpredictable situations when Krishna came to visit his uncle despite his parent's will. Devu was not at home when Krishna visited her house. He waited there till she came.
Devu easily identified him even though they were meeting after a long time.
"Devu, I was waiting to see you, for almost one hour", Krishna said
" Only one hour na? Not 48 hours" Devu replied
"Pagal ladki, still remember it?", Krishna couldn't help laughing
After ten minutes talk Krishna started to leave. Devu accompanied him till the gate .Krishna stopped for a moment and looked at her.
"Devu I want to marry you, do you have any objection?"
Devu stood there unable to move felt as if frozen, she couldn't even speak out.
"Relax baba, take your own time and let me know. I expect a positive reply"
Krishna hurried out.Devu stood there stand still, unable to belive the sudden change of situation. Slowly she walked back home as if in a dream.
When Krishna announced his decision every one were shocked.His parents were the first to disagree,then Gita's parents and the entire clan was against his will. But Krishna was too firm.
"I will get her at gun point". He confirmed his decision.
Devu was totally confused. No one believed that she is innocent.
Devu was court-martialed. Her father asked her
"Devu , would you like to get married to Krishna?"
Devu was well aware of the answer her father expected from her
" No Dad", she replied automatically.
She went back to hostel with a heavy heart. Within two day Krishna will be going back. Devu tried to forget what ever happened, but she found it too difficult to do so. She had lost her peace of mind. She searched in her shelf and found Bhagavathegeetha that granny had given and started reading it. Slowly she returned back to her normal status.
Next day Devu had a visitor at the hostel. As she expected it was Krishna. She approached him with a trembling heart.
"Oh! God please help me out from this difficult situation" she prayed inside.
She looked at Krishna, it was a different person before her he looked damn serious.
" Sit down", he ordered
Devu sat on the corner of the chair rather automatically.
"What you have decided?" he jumped straight in to the matter
Devu couldn't say anything
"Devu , am asking you "
"Please Krishna . I cannot" Devu fumbled
"You don't like me?"
"Yes, but ..",Devu replied with out looking at him
"Look at me Devu,is there any specific reason?"
She could feel the heat in his words. She didn't answer
"Devu, am asking you tell me now, is there any one else in your mind?"
Devu gathered all her courage and said
"No , but .."
"O.k, will you please tell me why?"This time his voice was mild.
"Please ..Krishna don't ask me anything more, I don't have anything to tell you"
Devu rushed back to her room and locked herself inside. Through the window she watched him walking away. Away from her life for ever.
"Why Devu? why did you do like that ?" her inner voice asked her.
" Becouse I want Gita to be happy, her parent's to be happy, Krishna's parents to be happy and my dad to be happy"
Before leaving from south Krishna made a call to Devu.
"Devu , am leaving today , let me know if you change your mind"
Devu kept silence over the phone and she heard the sound of receiver being banged on the other end.
She leaned on the window not to fall. Tears gushed out like a rain. The escalating pain pinned her down. Inside her she chanted her favorite lines
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
Days went past. Once again Devu got a call from Krishna
" Devu, am leaving to UK tomarrow , you need anything when I come back"
Devu thought for a while and replied
" Yes Krishna I need few things, will it be inconvenient for you?"
" Never Devu tell me what ever it is" he was so eager over the phone
" O.k Krishna then bring me a spring and few cherry flowers when you come back" she said seriously
She could hear Krishan's laughter over the phone
" Devu you haven't changed a bit, hey tell me if you want anything else?"
" Nothing Krishna you come back safely , I don't need anything" she said very clearly
There was silence for a moment in the phone
"Devu , did you thought about the discussion we had" , He sound so serious over phone
" Do you have anything else to talk with me Krishna, am little bit busy" , Devu's recent reflected in her sound.
" O.k. then , I will definitely bring spring and cherry flowers for you, but will you be there to receive it from me" Krishna's sound tucked in his throat
" Oh! Krishna I was just joking, you took it seriously?"
" Bye dear"
She heard the banging sound of phone at his side.
Krishna never called her after that. Like everyone wished Krishna and Gita's Marriage got fixed. Krishana arrived one week in advance. There was nag pooja on the very next day and all the family members arrived for it . Devu was very conscious to be with other family members to avoid another encounter with Krishna.
In the evening there was " kalam Pattu"(song sung praising nagaraja) in front of the family temple which is inside the compound. The temple glittered in the lights from the numerous decorating bulbs and in the ground beautiful sketch of naga raja was made with different natural colors. The smell of camphor and Agarbathy filled the terrain.
Devu stood before the temple with folded hands and closed eyes. She looked like a natural village beauty in the traditional kerala dress. Krishna was seeing her first time in that dress. With her long hair let free except a knot at the bottom and a tulsi leaf tucked carelessly in between, she symbolized the quintessence of classical Nair beauty. Krishna could not resist his urge to go near her. The enchanting fragrance of sandal paste she applied on her forehead filled his nostrils.
"Devu, will you please come to the back side of the temple. I will be waiting there", Krishna walked past her.
Devu could her the sound of her throbbing heart clearly.She decided not to follow him, but her subconscious compelled her to follow his feets. Slowly she moved towards his direction.He was waiting there impatiently , and Devu supported herself on one of the peepal tree at a safer distance from him. With her head down with fear and shy she stood there making knots with her palluv. She was so nervous.
Krishna watched her keenly, there was something appealing about this girl, may be her personality, or the charming smile she always keeps on her full red lips as an ornament, or the radiant way she communicates , he was confused what is the factor that attracts him to her?
"Devu you looks so beautiful in the costume, I thought it's the goddess herself come out of the temple and standing before me" Krishna turned romantic
Devu blushed and her dimples glowed in the colored lights.
Devu saw him coming near to her, and with in seconds she identified that she was cornered, Oh there is no escape, she closed her eyes
"Oh! God please come to my help"
But God didn't hear her; she could feel his lips on hers. The roughness of his mustache paining her. With all her strength she pulled away from him, but his hands were so firm on her, her bangles broke down in to pieces, and her hand bleed ,he drove her close to him and murmured in her ears
" I love you so much Devu, don't go away from me , be mine always, I won't let any one to take you away from me" Krishna pleaded to her.
Devu slipped away from his clutches. She found it difficult to suppress her grief. Tears rolled down her beautiful cheeks making them red. She turned herself towards the peepal tree and hide her with both hands. She felt shameful of herself, it was the first experience in her life and she hated Krishna for it.
" Devu , do you think my decision of marring you was the out come of our ten minutes talk?" A sea of memories surged in the folds of every sentence he spoke, and his mind's eye spooled the years.
" You were there in my dreams when ever I thought about a life,Its not Gita, its you , whom I liked , and I believed even if I never told about it you will be also feeling the same towards me.I used get updates about you through Sree. I was eagerly watching you climbing the ladder of success. Many times I thought of calling you or writing to you. But kept that urge within me since I wanted to give you a surprise. I did'nt even share it with Sree or to any of my friends.You were my treasured possession which I kept so close to my heart hidden from every one and even from you dear. I admit it was my mistake that I never told you before, Devu it's not late; still there is time, any change in your opinion?"
"It is still a no" She answered with out turning her face
"Still I love you Devu"
Devu was totally shattered.
"Krishna, it doesn't matter whether I love you or not, but I don't want to steel Gita's life. She had woven a lot of dreams about you. How can you ignore her like this Krishna?"
She saw the blooming buds of anger in Krishna's eyes
"Keep apart Gita from this issue, I want you .., you are mine Devu , ..why don't you try to understand my feelings dear, why do you always think about others , come on Devu . open up, can you be mine?, I need only a YES from you, .. come on Devu please"
Devu was helpless .Some how she managed to speak
"Don't compel me Krishna, at any cost I cannot be yours" Devu said, burying all the emotions inside her. Nobody identified the volcano inside her. She was aware of what she is going to lose, but she was not an ordinary girl, she was Devu a different one who think differently, who dreams differently, who acts differently and who lives differently.
Krishna stood there with out taking his eyes off her, and watched her moving away from him. The pain went like a dart inside him. His dreams were walking away from him, but he could not do anything other than just mute witness to it.
"How can I convince this girl?" he found himself helpless
The wedding was a grand ceremony in the house, Devu was there to help Gita in the Mandap, and while taking "Sathphera",she noticed Krishna's eyes on her.She slowly disappered in the crowd , went inside the bedroom and cried till she could find peace of mind. Bhanu, sree's mom came to consolve her.Devu recalled her words of advice.
"Devu it's always wise to choose some one who loves you rather than the one you love. Your decision is a foolish one"
Years passed again, Devu as her father's wish got married to a handsome young man, and she is a mother now. She managed her professional life and home chores pretty well. Krishna never came back to south and Gita once in every year visited her parents with her kids. Now it is the marriage of Sree. Everybody arrived on the eve of the marriage since it is the last wedding in the present generation. Devu arrived late with her husband and daughter. She saw Krishna sitting in the drawing room reading newspaper. She walked towards him. They were meeting after years. He is the father of two kids. He had few silver highlights on his temple but the eyes were the same no change at all.
Devu waited for him to ask her something which he didn't and she too kept silence. Other relatives gathered around her and mechanically she answered their queries.
Later Gita and Devu sit together and talked. After her marriage this is the first time that Gita is exchanging words with Devu.
Before winding up Gita told her
" Devu it was not me but you were the one in Krishna's heart, I never thought he was that serious. Our life was not at all a happy one"
Devu was totally disarmed with Gita's statement. Why God you test us like this? She felt as if she is loosing even the ground below her feet. She took Gita's hands in hers and pleaded
"Gita, forgive me for making you suffer this way, I am ready to accept what ever punishment you impose on me"
Gita turned philosophical ,
" Devu this is life ,we expect something and God disposes something else for us, am happy since he loves the kids and do justice to me, and I appreciate his openness to tell me about his feelings towards you"
Devu walked back to the bed room, she didn't heared anything, she didn't see anyone .She was weeping inside. She find it difficult to forget his eyes. Time had changed his looks but love for her is not changed a bit, it was clear in his eye even though he didn't tell it.
" Krishna why do you love me this much, don't you know that I am not yours, why Krishna, Why do you do this to me?" She asked herself and find it difficult to get an answer.
After taking rest for a while Devu came out from the room.
She watched the kids playing out in the lawn. Krishna's son Arjun was the leader of the gang. Her daughter Mili was also among them.
" You know in Mumbai most of the days we go for guffe" Arjun boasted
Devu watched the recent in Mili's eye ,she lashed out
" Buddhu its not gufe its buffe , B ..U..F F..E". She sensed the clouds of war developing around Mili and Arjun.
"Is history going to be repeated?" she wondered and turned back to walk away and saw Krishna in front of her , she could see a strange smile on his face, which then turned to be a laugh and Devu too started laughing . They both laughed till tears started rolling down their cheeks ,the tears of years old pain gushing out , till their vision got blurred and slowly they stopped laughing and find their own reflections in each others eyes and they could hear the common rhythm of their hearts.
" How are you Devu",Krishna broke the silence
"Fine, . and you?"
He didn't replied. Again there was silence between them .Devu find it difficult cope up with the situation. She want to escape from it.
"Devu, any way there is nothing to expect in this Janma, can you be mine in the next birth"
It was an unexpected question from Krishna, and Devu was totally bowled out by his sudden change. She could see him coming closer to her and her heart began to beat in a faster pace. Now she could feel his breaths, so hot near her and he grabbed both her hands and kept them closer to his heart. She felt the hypnotizing rhythm there.
"Devu, . promise me that you will be mine in the next birth, come on dear please , don't let me down this time I need you so badly, you don't know how much I loved you, still I love you my dear"
Devu forget everything for a moment, that she is a wife and a mother, what she could see is the boundless love in Krishna's eyes, as if forced by some power she replied
"I wil be Krishna, . I will be yours, forgive me for not seeing your unconditional love, forgive me for turning you down mercilessly will you Krishna?"
He wiped the tears off her face tenderly .And she felt his arms tightening around her. Behind them the dark clouds showered bountiful rain .Devu stood there as a scintillating beauty with the mighty sprays of rain spread on her face and her beautiful curls bouncing. The wind came down towards them once again revealing its magic and majestic power in the quenching rain. She took away his hands from her
" Krishna I will be yours only in the next janma, now I don't belongs to you, and I have my duties too ,as a wife , as mother,wait for me Krishna "
Once again Devu walked away from Krishna. The pain of denying him pinning her down, she walked .She felt like her heart bleeding, a wound that time cannot heal ,she carried it within her.
" Oh! God what shall I ask you for? ,an extention of the present life or for the next one with my passionate lover?"
The question emerged several times before her and she found it difficult to get an answer.
