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Archive for the ‘'Mock'onomics’

Why America’s Economy Fell off the Cliff….!!!!

October 07, 2009 By: Licensed Pirate Category: 'Mock'onomics

John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6 am.
While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor ( MADE IN HONG KONG)

He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA)

After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA), he sat down  with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO)

to see how much he could spend today.

After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to the  radio (MADE IN INDIA), he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY)  filled it with petrol (FROM SAUDI ARABIA) and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.

At the end of yet another discouraging and  fruitless day checking his Computer (MADE IN MALAYSIA), John decided to relax for a while.

He put  on his   sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL), poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE) and turned on his TV (MADE IN INDONESIA), and then wondered why he can’t find a good paying job in AMERICA

AND NOW HE’S HOPING HE CAN GET HELP FROM A PRESIDENT (MADE IN   KENYA)

INVESTMENT BANKING EXPLAINED

October 03, 2009 By: Licensed Pirate Category: 'Mock'onomics


Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.

The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. 

The next day the farmer drove up and said, ‘Sorry Chuck, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.’

Chuck replied, ‘Well, then just give me my money back.’ 

The farmer said, ‘Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.’ 

Chuck said, ‘OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.’ 

The farmer asked, ‘What ya gonna do with a dead donkey? 

Chuck said, ‘I’m going to raffle him off.’ 

The farmer said ‘You can’t raffle off a dead donkey!’ 

Chuck said, ‘Sure I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.’

A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, ‘What happened with that dead donkey?’ 

Chuck said, ‘I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.00.’ 

The farmer said, ‘Didn’t anyone complain?’ 

Chuck said, ‘Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.’

Chuck now works for Morgan Stanley.


Financial Crisis Issues?

December 19, 2008 By: Licensed Pirate Category: 'Mock'onomics


1. How do you define optimism?

– A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday.

2. What’s the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?

– The pizza can still feed a family of four.

3. What do you call five hedge fund managers at the bottom of the ocean?

– A good start.

4. The credit crunch has helped me get back on my feet. The cars have been repossessed.

5. The bank returned a cheque to me this morning, stamped: ‘insufficient funds.’ Is it them or me?

6. A man went to his bank manager and said: ‘I’d like to start a small business. How do I go about it?’  ‘Simple,’ said the bank manager. ‘Buy a big one and wait.’

7. Everyone Says Money talks. Trouble is, mine knows only one word: ‘Goodbye.’

8. What have an Icelandic bank and an Icelandic streaker got in common?

– They both have frozen assets.

9. A director decided to award a prize of $50 for the best idea of saving the company money during the credit crunch. It was won by a young executive who suggested reducing the prize money to $10.


The Tax System - Explained With Beer

November 30, 2008 By: Licensed Pirate Category: 'Mock'onomics


Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the total bill for all ten comes to $100.     


If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go
something like this:        

The first four men (the poorest) would pay
nothing.
        

The fifth would pay $1.        

The sixth would pay $3.        

The seventh would pay $7.        

The eighth would pay $12.        

The ninth would pay $18.        

The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.            

So, that’s what they decided to do.            

The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the
owner threw them a curve. 
   

Since you are all such good customers,’ he said, I’m going to reduce the cost of,  your daily beer by $20.     

‘Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.’  The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men - the paying customers?    

How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his fair share?’     
They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33 and they subtracted That from everybody’s share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.     
So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by proportionately existing amount they paying.     
He proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.                
And so:             
The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing -
 (100%
savings).     
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3  (33%savings). 
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 - (28%savings).     
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12     -  (25%
savings).
     
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18     -  (22%
savings).
     
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59     -  (16%
savings).
             
Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free.     
But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.            
 ’I only got a dollar out of the $20,’declared the sixth man.     

He pointed to the tenth man,’ but he got $10!’            
‘Yeah, that’s right,’ exclaimed the fifth man.    
 ’I only saved a dollar, too. It’s unfair that he got ten times more than I!’             
‘That’s true!!’ shouted the seventh man. ‘Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!’             
‘Wait a minute,’ yelled the first four men in unison.     
‘We didn’t get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!’            
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.             
The next night the tenth man didn’t show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him.     

But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important.  They didn’t have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!             
And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works.The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction.     
Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.                
David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.        

Professor of Economics       
University of Georgia                

For those who understand, no explanation is needed.                

For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.   

U.S. Economic Realities

March 30, 2008 By: Licensed Pirate Category: 'Mock'onomics


Recently President Bush said each American would get a $600.00 tax rebate. It was previously slated to be $800.00, but they dropped it to a $600.00 tax rebate because of various budget problems.

Now, if the Americans spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China; if they spend it on computers, most of the money will go to India or Korea. If they spend it on gasoline it will all go to the Arabs . . . and none of these scenarios will help the American economy.

Americans need to keep that money here in America . . . so the only way to keep that money here at home is to drink beer, gamble, or spend it on prostitution.

Currently it seems that these are the only businesses still left in the U.S.!


The Stock Market simply illustrated

June 13, 2006 By: Licensed Pirate Category: 'Mock'onomics

There is a lesson here

Once upon a time, in a village a man appeared who announced to the
villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs10. The villagers seeing that
there were many monkeys went out in the forest and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at Rs10 and as supply started to diminish and
villagers started to stop their effort he announced that now he would buy
at Rs20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started
catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people
started going back to their farms.

The offer rate increased to Rs25 and the supply of monkeys became so that
it was an effort to even see a monkey let alone catch it.

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs50! However, since he
had to go to the city on some business his assistant would now buy on behalf of the man.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. “Look at all these monkeys in the
big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at Rs35 and when the man comes
back, you can sell it to him for Rs50.”

The villager squeezed up with all their savings to buy the monkeys.

Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!!!!