Whiskey, two large down, two to go,
The lady of the house snarled,
You would not change, I know
Lucky for me- she had perhaps ignored the chat window
Where a starlet was online,
And it was my regular evening show
To compensate from the TV’s din
No
It was the Potato!
She offered me some mind blasting potato chips,
Dingo
As I scrunched those, I thought of Asimov,
And my Positronic brain went insane
A sip of alcohol,
And again
A glad look at her assets relieved the strain-
I design hardware,
Play with FPGAs and Xilinx and stepper motors
A bit of a scare-
Helicopters that fly sans rotors
I opened my ASIC design pack,
Began the inevitable toil
I reset the push pop stack
Holy Calloc Fred Hoyle
For six months I had thrashed about,
The Positron remained in turmoil
There was something super intelligent I wished to create
Because visions of that
Would always come in my inebriated state
The starlet groaned, she pouted
And almost shouted,
“Hey!”
“Don’t ignore me, else I would scream more”,
She said, wine had made her sway
I had trouble- trouble in store-
My feet were made of lead,
In a baked clay mould, I knew
Something snapped, the Devil may be,
And the chips flew…
One landed in the sauce, some on the floor,
And one, just one, screeched with a grind
As I caught it, “let go of me, you lech”
Or something,
Maybe I heard it inside my mind
And then the cogs started whirring,
I downed the two large in one go,
And as I started to pour,
The lady of the house, LOH, roared, “Oh NO!”
I said “Wife, I am God, nothing would happen to me, you-shee?”
And then I began the programming,
Wrote the first six line of VHDL
I knew, I was on the path to Eureka,
It was my starlet- Rebecca!
“Darling Rebecca, oh hell”
“I have things to do, and I have to go”,
And she as usual, screamed into my ears,
A church bell
Two inches away from the clang of the clapper,
My mind on fire,
I metamorphosed higher…
I was the creator of a new self replicating priestess of Genesis,
The Silicon Dame or Sire
Who would create minor,
Toddling babies with FLASH EEPROM
Ten toes and ten fingers-
But they would not be the ubiquitous 8051 microchips-
They would be GOD,
Genesis’s Messengers
Fed on
Word, Microsoft Diapers,
AMIBIOS,
Chocolates called Energy Stars
Playing romantic scenes from distant planets,
Six legged women slithering on porn poles in bars
And cramming RAM,
Probing with their gyrations,
The males, the blue carcinogen oozy
The smoky ambience of rocket fuel,
Cockroach curdled and eight eyed tarantula floozy
Oh dear! You are drunk!
And you are salivating at something,
A love message from Rebecca,
You bloody skunk!
Miss Genesis, her program written in my mind,
Would not let go,
I had to get two pegs more
The LOH leaves in rage,
She said something of the couch,
Something like “I’d talk to that whore!”
With the et cetera over,
I drew in two more,
and encouraged,
Damned Rebecca,
The eye sore to my wife,
The issue was nagging,
I drew two more…
I began my programming run
Six thousand lines of VHDL
In the amber rays of the morning,
The downloads automatically begun
On Xilinx,
The constant message
“Fatal Error, Fail”
Holy hornets on my tail!
When I had a premonition,
The babies, the GODLETS screeched
Ten fingers and ten toes each
The gory scenes began-
These chips were adults at birth
And they began the hot SEX scenes
Not yet, in terms of seconds in their teens,
Silicon nuclei fashioned and reproduced
In 4.096 MHz oscillations each other seduced
In precision, on flat screens
And the mega women of the third planet of Antares
Clapped in joy
Six legs twisting on the pole entity
Sex and the Mega city
The God of VHDL sang his or her first song…
His/her nose yellow with gold dust, solder and flux, a pity
The babies crawled all over, on to my knees,
Wailed Daddy, where is Mom?
The software
Was a misled com-
I was not dad,
I was being had!
I saw Miss Eula and the Word in dialogue,
Who was GOD
Me or the March Hare
So much so for shareware!
And Rebecca was frozen on screen,
A woman I knew for thirty years thundered “get up”
Here- bloody biscuits, tea cup
Explain why you were crying Rebecca let go-
You immoral pup!
The God Chips gone, I looked around,
It was noon, and the VHDL listing nowhere to be found
I thought of the Planets of Antares,
But all that floated in was the pot from Benares,
I ran aground
The woman, LOH, grew shrill, strident in her demand… oh dear
“Well”, she yelled, I looked at her frown in fear
Rebecca had vanished, the screen now said,
“Windows is now closing down”
I cried in pious pain,
Wife, it was an accident,
I know no Rebecca,
You have put me in a strain
Forgive me-
I prayed to the god I created last night
I became a priest program, my BIOS in toxic insight
And the blood alcohol, now hanging heavy, I cried
Darling I missed you, and she smiled
It was an add on, a fake
As I was tied to the stake,
Waiting to be burnt, the marriage Eula read out
You lecher of a husband, you bloody lout!
Thus was my night I played GOD,
An acronym for Good Old Drinker
And the VHDL I wrote was a dreadfully bad bloody stinker
The potato chips from DINGO
Had strained my lingo
Oh!
She knew and smugly announced, I told you, you are no good, I know!
Epilog
==
Promise me, my Rebecca
To write me a good obituary when I go,
In this world when I took you on,
I never thought there was anyone else I should know
To Say
Here lies GOD, a since debouch and drinker
He fell for me, hook line and sinker
And
He died
Exposed Yawning Colic
1949-2010
RIP
==
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