“My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb.”
“Well put,” the judge replied. “Using your logic, I sentence the defendant’s arm to one year’s imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses.”
The defendant smiled. With his lawyer’s assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.
Some Things To Ponder…
1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense
at all.
4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the
dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many
people a company can operate without.
8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else
looks?
9. Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.
10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4
AM. It could be a right number.
13. Think about this…, No one ever says “It’s only a game.” when his
team is winning.
14. I’ve reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
15. Be careful reading the fine print. There’s no way you’re going to
like it.
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same
size bucket.
17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of OLD
LADIES running around with tattoos? (And RAP music will be the Golden
Oldies!)
18. Money can’t buy happiness — but somehow it’s more comfortable to
cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.
19. After a certain age, if you don’t wake up aching in every joint, you
are probably dead
old friends…..
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, “Now don’t get mad at me… I know we’ve been friends for a long time, but I just can’t remember your name. I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t recall it. Please tell me what your name is.”
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just looked at her. Finally she said, “How soon do you need to know?”
Friends' Update
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