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Small Bill to Pay…..

A guy got a credit card bill stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it
but next month he got another one stating they were going to cancel
his credit card if he didn’t send them $0.00. He called them, talked
to them, they said it was a glitch and told him they’d take care of
it.

The following month he tried to charge something and couldn’t. He
called the credit card company who again said they would take care of
it. The next day he got his bill for $0.00 stating that he was very
delinquent.

So he thought he had a solution. He mailed the credit card company a
check for $0.00, and the credit card company’s computer processed it,
noting that his account was now paid in full.

A week later, the man’s bank called him asking him what he was doing
writing a check for $0.00. He explained and they said, “Well, your
$0.00 check has caused our check processing software to fail. We now
can’t process ANY of our checks from that day electronically because
that $0.00 check has caused the program to abort. We are closing your
account.”

The man, who had been considering buying his wife a computer for her
birthday, bought her a typewriter instead.




Poetic resignation….


The name is good, the brand is big
But the work I do is that of a pig
The work or the brand; what is my way?
I don't know if I should stay.

To work, they have set their own way
Nobody will care to hear what I say
My will be NULL, they wont change their way
I don't know if I should stay.

The project is in a critical stage
But to do good work, this is the age
This dilemma is killing me day by day
I don't know if I should stay.

The money is good, the place is great
But the development is at a very small rate
Should I go for the work, or wait for pay
I don't know if I should stay. !

The managers don't know what they talk
The team doesn't know where they walk
That's a bad situation, what say?
I don't know if I should stay.

I can go to any other place
But what if I get the same disgrace
I can't keep switching day by day
I don't know if I should stay.

The -ves are more, the +ves are less
Then why have this unnecessary mess
No more will I walk their way,
It's all done, I won't stay.




Posted in Blogs.

3 comments

By Subhas Dutta – October 10, 2006

A story with a happy ending……..


She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and
suitcases.


On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.


On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful
dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music
and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.


When she had finished, she went into each and every room and
deposited a few half-eaten shrimp dipped in caviar, into the hollow
of the curtain rods.


She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.


When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for
the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried
everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.


Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steamed. Air
fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set
off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days,
and in the end even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.


Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen
refused to work in the house. The maid quit.


Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.


A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they
could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and
eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.


Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to
purchase a new place.


The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told
her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said
that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce
her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.


Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a
price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but
only if she were to sign the papers that very day.


She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.


A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched
the moving company pack everything to take to their new home .
.including the curtain rods.


I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?????


Posted in Blogs.

11 comments

By Subhas Dutta – October 3, 2006

Be careful what you put into your body,health is too important to ignor

Posted in picture message.

1 comment

By Subhas Dutta – October 2, 2006

Puzzle dad………


A father passing by his son’s bedroom, was astonished to see the bed
was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an
envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was
addressed, “Dad.” With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope
and read the letter, with trembling hands.

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with
Mom and you. I’ve been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is
so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her
piercing’s, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she
is so much older than I am.Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a
trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole
winter. Stacy has opened my
eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t, really hurt anyone. We’ll
be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in
the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the
meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so
Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!!

Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15, and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday, I’m sure we’ll be back to visit, so you can get to know
your grandchildren.

Love, your son,
John.


P.S. Dad, None of the above is true. I’m over at Tommy’s house. I
just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than
the report card that’s in my center desk drawer. I love you! Call
when it is safe for me to come home.”


Posted in Blogs.

6 comments

By Subhas Dutta – September 30, 2006

You will find this amusing……..




DO NOT GO STRAIGHT TO THE END
It will only take a minute
Do the maths as you read the instructions
Don't read the end until you have done all the calculations
I promise it is not a waste of time, you will find this amusing.


1. How many times a week do you fancy eating chocolate?
(Choose between 1 and 9)


2. Multiply that number by 2


3. Add 5


4. Multiply by 50 - go on, get that calculator out!


5. If you have had your birthday in 2006, add 1756. If your birthday is still to come, add 1755.


6 Now take away the year you were born.


You should have a three digit number. The first is the number of time you fancy eating chocolate in a week.


The other two digits are


YOUR AGE!!!


2006 IS THE ONLY YEAR IN ALL ETERNITY WHEN THIS WORKS. SEND IT TO YOUR FRIENDS WHILE IT WORKS!

Posted in Blogs.

1 comment

By Subhas Dutta – September 29, 2006

I am just curious…..

I am just curious, how many of my friends here use there mobile to read blogs and post comments through it. My 80% comments are through mobile. As I get full html page on my mobile I really enjoy surfing net on it. If you too want to enjoy surfing net then download 'opera mini'browser'It support both NOKIA and SONY ERICSSON.You can download it from your wap browser or you can download it to your pc and then transfer it via bluetooth or data cable.


You can download opera mini here   

Posted in Blogs.

1 comment

By Subhas Dutta – September 28, 2006

A little different…MIND GAME



A little different.


MIND GAME


 


 


 


2% or 98%


 


This is strange…can you figure it out?


 


Are you the 2% or 98% of the population?


 


Follow the instructions! NO PEEKING AHEAD!


 


* Do the following exercise, guaranteed to raise an eyebrow.


 


* There’s no trick or surprise.


 


* Just follow these instructions, and answer the questions one at a time and as quickly as you can!


* Again, as quickly as you can but don’t advance until you’ve done each of them … really. * Now, scroll down (but not too fast,


you might miss something).


 


 


 


 


Think of a number from 1 to 10


 


 


 


 


Multiply that number by 9


 


 


 


 


 


If the number is a 2-digit number, add the digits together


 


 


 


 


 


Now subtract 5


 


 


 


 


Determine which letter in the alphabet corresponds to the number you ended up with (example: 1=a, 2=b, 3=c,etc.)


 


 


 


 


 


 


Think of a country that starts with that letter


 


 


 


 


 


Remember the last letter of the name of that country..


 


 


 


 


Think of the name of an animal that starts with that letter


 


 


 


 


Remember the last letter in the name of that animal


 


 


 


 


 


Think of the name of a fruit that starts with that letter


 


 


 


 


Are you thinking of a Kangaroo in Denmark eating an Orange?


 


 


 


 


 


I told you this was FREAKY!! If not, you’re among the 2% of the


population whose minds are different enough to think of something else.


98% of people will answer with kangaroos in Denmark when given this


exercise. Keep this message going. This one is actually worth sending on to others. Forward it to


people you know so they can find out if they are usual or unusual.


 

Posted in Blogs.

2 comments

By Subhas Dutta – September 27, 2006

Before Blowing Your Anger………..

Received this from a good friend who had a choice to make. It
said that I had a choice to make too. I’ve chosen. Now it’s your
turn to choose.

The story goes that some time ago a man punished his 5-year-old
daughter for wasting a roll of expensive gold wrapping paper.
Money was tight and he became even more upset when the child
pasted the gold paper so as to decorate a box to put under the
Christmas tree.

Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift box to her father
the next morning and said, “This is for you, Daddy.” The father
was embarrassed by his earlier over reaction, but his anger flared
again when he found the box was empty.

He spoke to her in a harsh manner, “Don’t you know, young lady,
when you give someone a present there’s supposed to be something
inside the package?”

The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said,
“Oh, Daddy, it’s not empty. I blew kisses into it until it was
full.”

The father was crushed. He fell on his knees and put his arms
around his little girl, and he begged her to forgive him for his
unnecessary anger.

An accident took the life of the child only a short time later and
it is told that the father kept that gold box by his bed for all
the years of his life. And whenever he was discouraged or faced
difficult problems he would open the box and take out an imaginary
kiss and remembered the love of the child who had put it there.

In a very real sense, each of us as human beings have been given a
golden box filled with unconditional love and kisses from our
children, family, friends and God. There is no more precious
possession anyone could hold.

You now have two choices. You can:

1- Pass this on to your friends and relatives or

2- Delete it and act like it didn’t touch your heart.

As you can see, I took choice No. 1.

Posted in Blogs.

No comments

By Subhas Dutta – September 26, 2006

Answer This……


Answer This





[1] Take off my skin — I won’t cry, but you will! What am I?


[2] The more it dries, the wetter it gets. What is it?


[3] You answer me, although I never ask you questions. What am I?


[4] Which is correct: 18 plus 19 is 36. Or 18 plus 19 are 36?


[5] Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest
mountain on Earth?


[6] What gets whiter the dirtier that it gets?


[7] How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?


[8] Some months have 30 days, some months have 31 days; how many have 28?


[9] What can burn the eyes, sting the mouth, yet be consumed?


[10] What travels around the world yet stays in one corner?


[11] How is it possible to shave three times a day and still grow a beard?


[12] Is it physically possible for you to stand behind your mother,
and for your
mother to stand behind you at the same time?


[13] What is harder to catch the faster you run?


Wait Go Back and Make Sure you answered them all:
 ..


..


..


You can’t wait, I see, OK here are the
Answers:


1.
An onion


2.
A towel


3.
The telephone


4.
Actually neither is correct - 18 plus 19 is 37.


5.
Mt. Everest


6.
A chalkboard


7.
Once, because after you subtract it’s not 25 anymore


8.
Every month has at least 28 days.
9.
Peppers


10.
A stamp.


11.
If you were a barber, you could shave other men three times a day and
still grow your own beard.


12.
Yes, if you stand back to back


13.
Your breath


 

Posted in Blogs.

2 comments

By Subhas Dutta – September 24, 2006

Never underestimate your Clients’ Complaint, no matter how funny it might seem! …

Vanilla Ice Cream that puzzled General motors!!!!

An Interesting Story

Never underestimate your Clients’ Complaint, no matter how funny it might seem!

This is a real story that happened between the customer of General Motors and its Customer-Care Executive. Pls read on…..



A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors:

‘This is the second time I have written to you, and I don’t blame you for not answering me, because I sounded crazy, but it is a fact that we have a tradition in our family of Ice-Cream for dessert after dinner each night, but the kind of ice cream varies so, every night, after we’ve eaten, the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have and I drive down to the store to get it. It’s also a fact that I recently purchased a new Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a problem…..

You see, every time I buy a vanilla ice-cream, when I start back from the store my car won’t start. If I get any other kind of ice cream, the car starts just fine. I want you to know I’m serious about this question, no matter how silly it sounds “What is there about a Pontiac that makes it not start when I get vanilla ice cream, and easy to start whenever I get any other kind?” The Pontiac President was understandably skeptical about the letter, but sent an Engineer to check it out anyway.

The latter was surprised to be greeted by a successful, obviously well educated man in a fine neighborhood. He had arranged to meet the man just after dinner time, so the two hopped into the car and drove to the ice cream store. It was vanilla ice cream that night and, sure enough, after they came back to the car, it wouldn’t start.

The Engineer returned for three more nights. The first night, they got chocolate. The car started. The second night, he got strawberry. The car started. The third night he ordered vanilla. The car failed to start.

Now the engineer, being a logical man, refused to believe that this man’s car was allergic to vanilla ice cream. He arranged, therefore, to continue his visits for as long as it took to solve the problem. And toward this end he began to take notes: He jotted down all sorts of data: time of day, type of gas uses, time to drive back and forth etc.

In a short time, he had a clue: the man took less time to buy vanilla than any other flavor. Why? The answer was in the layout of the store. Vanilla, being the most popular flavor, was in a separate case at the front of the store for quick pickup. All the other flavors were kept in the back of the store at a different counter where it took considerably longer to check out the flavor.

Now, the question for the Engineer was why the car wouldn’t start when it took less time. Eureka - Time was now the problem - not the vanilla ice cream!!!! The engineer quickly came up with the answer: “vapor lock”.

It was happening every night; but the extra time taken to get the other flavors allowed the engine to cool down sufficiently to start. When the man got vanilla, the engine was still too hot for the vapor lock to dissipate.



Even crazy looking problems are sometimes real and all problems seem to be simple only when we find the solution, with cool thinking.

Don’t just say it is ” IMPOSSIBLE” without putting a sincere effort…. Observe the word “IMPOSSIBLE” carefully… .

Looking closer you will see, “I’M POSSIBLE”…

What really matters is your attitude and your perception.

Posted in Blogs.

2 comments

By Subhas Dutta – September 22, 2006