Feb the 14th is arriving. Mumbai is painted red. So is the whole world, I guess this week. At least everywhere where they sell Valentine Day as a marketing gimmick. There are hearts, roses, cards and special offers screaming out of hoardings telling you to make the most of the valentine day. Restaurants are full of offers and so are newspapers… my roommates are discussing their valentine plans and so are my friends. People are writing volumes for couples on what to do on valentine day. I too, am contributing.
No one says what the single people are supposed to do? Sit and crib? or feel worse. I always seem to get depressed around Valentine Day because I’m always alone and single when it rolls around. I wondered what advice you give to singles who are down and out around this time, when stories about budding love are everywhere?
There are some advices that i gathered… Read on…
So you’re not going to get anything (again) for the big day, smack in the middle of February. Who cares!!!
1. Don’t obsess about what you won’t get. Focus on what you can give. Volunteer anywhere, preferably somewhere with kids. You don’t meet anyone more loving than kids. And don’t limit your commitment to February 14th.
2. Think back to the most rotten person you ever dated. Better to be alone than with that person!!! You no doubt gave up something to be with that unworthy person. Did you spend a lot of money on them?
3. Do you have a nasty “friend” (ok — acquaintance) who thinks s/he’s all that because s/he has a guy/girl and you don’t?
Happy Valentine’s Day, all! Remember: Cupid isn’t shooting arrows at people as much as he is holding a gun to their heads.
As well, get a group to go bowling, dancing, or even hiking. Be the leader and plan ahead.
Reserve a special table and ask those invited to bring along a single friend of the opposite sex.
And most of all, count your blessings. Some singles say that Valentine’s Day makes them take a deeper look at some of the realities of life… like the advantages of being single. You need to be grateful and accentuate the positive attributes that you have so you can attract people that are on the same wavelength.
1. Do not define yourself by your relationship status. Your relationship status is not your identity.
2. If you are single because of a recent loss, allow this to be a day of grieving. Do not pretend that it's not a hard day. Get support and sympathy.
3. Realize that Valentine's Day is a commercial holiday. It is not about love and relationships; it is about selling flowers, candy, and diamond jewelry. Think of all the money you are saving.
4. Plan well in advance to do something that will not place you in the path of billing and cooing couples. Even if you usually like dining out alone, do something else on Valentine's Day.
5. Get together with people who do love you — friends, family members, the people who already have relationships with you.
6. If you are single and you don't want to be, start now to think about what is in the way of you creating the relationship you want. Find ways to work on becoming the person your dream partner would fall in love with. Start therapy. Take up yoga. Begin to volunteer. Create art. Make meaning. Act to change the world. It is into the fullest lives that love is most likely to fall.
7. If you are single and you like it, now is the time to affirm your choice. People who never marry or partner have close, loving, emotionally intimate relationships and lives worth living. Do not let a couple-driven culture define your choice as something wrong.
Dont crib.
Don’t mope around at home on your own. Get a friend to mope with you. Sometimes misery does indeed love company.
It’s your life. Celebrate.
Organise a social gathering yourself, invite a few single friends over and tell them to get a friend of the opposite sex along.
Order at home.
Don’t go to a restaurant where you will be surrounded by amorous couples. It might be depressing for you to look at this.
Dont open those love letters.
Make it easier for yourself by not picking at the scabs of the past. Dont even touch those old love letters and photographs of your ex flame.
Get away. Go on a hiking trip or a beach. Anything as far away as possible from red roses and Valentine’s Day restaurant and store specials.
Watch comedy.
Get a few comedies on video and invite friends over. Get each person to bring something to eat. You might end up not having to cook at all.
Have an early night. Go for a long walk and have an early night. Take pleasure in the fact that, on the morning of the 15th, you will be the only one on time for work and without a hangover.
Spoil yourself.
Well, if no-one else is going to, why not go out and buy yourself some flowers, a nice book or magazine or the nice new pair of jeans you saw last week? Sometimes a bit of retail therapy is appropriate. Go to a parlour. Get a massage. Or just leave town and go to place where you are less likely to find couples or just stay home with some nice books and tv.
Be bold.
If you are feeling brave, ask someone out. If your invitation is refused, follow the above steps.
Stop thinking: I feel none of the above will work if you dont stop thinking about being single.
For Couples…
The valentine day falls on a weekday this year. Since most us will be working through the day, let's not wait for the last moment and be pissed later since all the restaurants are going to be full. Here's how you can plan ahead.
Send your valentine (male or female) flowers or card at work. Build up the romance through the day. Talk to your partner once or twice or send a mail or text message about how much you are looking forward to the evening.
Dedicate a favorite song to your Valentine on a radio show that he or she will be listening to.
Write “I Love You” in lipstick or shaving cream on the mirror or use post it notes on the cupboard, refrigerator if you are living together.
I usually keep an eye on the local and national newspapers to see advertisements of what's on offer. During valentine's several resorts, restaurants, discos and pubs have great offers for a cosy romantic dinner for couples.
Some of the deals given are quite a steal. For example Seijo at Bandra [westen suburb in Mumbai] is offering a couple's pass at Rs 2000 for a 3 course Oriental cusine along with wine and Lounge music or you could go to Starters and More for Rs 1200 in South Mumbai for a four course menu, cocktail and romantic music.
Do something unexpected! Drive across town to take your Valentine out for lunch. Or just drive out of town and go to some nearby resort/hill and spend some quiet time together. Around Mumbai there is Manori and Aksa beach which has some really cool cheap cottages from Rs 500 to 2500 a day. There are other places like Ali baug, lonavala, khandala that are about an hour from Mumbai and Pune. For the reservations, you can find numbers and deals published in local newspapers.
Play soft music playing in the background. You could stop by at of one of the highway joints, which are not so crowded. Food at Punjabi dhabas on highways is normally good and economical.
Or why not prepare a romantic dinner at home. Cooking together brings in a lot of intimacy. It's a very playful activity when done together. You don't need to prepare an elaborate meal. Just some pasta with wine would do or make your partner's favorite dish. Keep some ice, chips, grapes and cheese handy.
Poetry is traditional for Valentine’s Day. Make up your own or buy a book of love poems that you can read together.
Ummm… this is something i wrote long ago.
Remembrance
In the blue void, endless
Where the stars and nebula swim,
Our earth too spins as a top
In a timeless, eternal scheme.
There in a small corner of the earth
You came to me as a star,
Thrown by planetary swing
Suddenly from afar.
I look dazzled and dazed
From a distance, my dear!
I love and adore you,
But can’t draw myself near.
When the petals drop from the rose
And dew sparkles on the moss
I think of your smile, Love!
And forget the defeat and loss.
Priyanka Jain
Copyright ©2005 Priyanka Prakash Jain
For General
Cook something nice to take to office to share with your co-workers. Show the people you work with that you really rely on just how important they are by buying a small token gift: a coffee cup filled with candy, a single flower, a book or take them out to lunch!
You could buy a nice shawl for your mom or a nice pair of glasses since she refuses to do away with her old ones. Gifting a nail polish or lipstick is also a great idea. For your father, it could be a book, a music or movie CD or something he is interested in. Ditto for siblings. If you are living on your own with roommates, it's a great idea to buy a small memento for them, as the gesture is always welcome.
, but it’s a free country and we have the right to decide how mushy we want to get and how much money we want to splurge on wooing the one (or the other). 
