I am deeply touched by your comforting words during this sad time. I am fortunate to have such caring friends here on Rediff iLand.
Sierra left this life very gently and peacefully, in the comfort of her own little bed. The veterinarian who made this possible is Dr. Beth Mosley, an extraordinary human being whose heart is filled with true compassion and love for animals. She stayed with me for nearly two hours, comforting both me and Sierra before the final good-bye.
This is the second time I have witnessed the peaceful passing of a beloved canine companion and once again am forced to contemplate on why human beings have such a difficult time in allowing those with painful, terminal illnesses to decide for themselves when they have had enough. Shouldn’t every individual have the right to choose a painless, gentle passing?
I do not know what the laws regarding physician assisted suicide or euthanasia are in India. But in the USA, there is a great deal of conflict surrounding this issue. What should be a personal, private decision with family is dragged into the arena of politics and, of course, the inevitable hidden underside which revolves around power and money. In this country, the medical profession will subject very elderly people to unnecessary surgery which often causes more harm than good, IF the person has enough insurance to cover the cost. Yet they allow people who truly need medical care to go untreated because they cannot afford medical insurance. The bottom line always seems to be money… so very sad.
My tiny flat feels so empty now, even though the squirrels and birds are constantly present just outside my door. Sierra’s loving presence was so powerful and gave me strength to get through the day. I cannot help but wonder if her passing happened at a time when my own ability to survive is diminishing. A friend said to me “I never thought Sierra would outlive you”. Neither did I, but it would have been more traumatic for her to get used to living without me, and I am relieved that the sacrifice had to be mine, rather than hers. I know she is in a beautiful place now and will be waiting for me when it is my time to cross the Rainbow Bridge.
My loyal companion, Sierra and I are spending our final hours together. Tomorrow my kind, compassionate vet will come to euthanize Sierra. Sierra developed a baseball-size hematoma on her upper back about 2 weeks ago. It developed in a matter of minutes. Things did not appear ominous at first. The hematoma seemed to be confined to just below the skin and above the muscle. Dr. Moseley (the most wonderful vet in the world) aspirated as much blood out of it as she could, gave her antibiotics and said to keep an eye on it. We returned a week later when the hematoma filled up again. Again it was aspirated and blood taken for analysis, which revealed anemia and other abnormalities; nothing very serious… just what you might see in an older dog, except for the anemia. By this time, Sierra’s appetite had diminished. She was eating only a tiny bit of food, which is very unusual for her.
To make a long and heartbreaking story short, Sierra stopped eating, she is too weak to walk, the hematoma is larger and spreading and may be invasive internally. She does not appear to be in pain, but I do not want her to have to suffer before she leaves this world. For the second time, I am making the hardest decision I have ever made in my life…to euthanize a loving, loyal canine companion.. the only being with whom I share my life. There are no words to describe this loss.
We are fortunate to have a wonderful veterinarian willing to make a house call for this heart wrenching good-bye, so Sierra will spend her final moments in her own familiar surroundings…
I adopted Sierra nearly five years ago… Now that I am losing her, that time seems all too brief. She rescued me from profound grief when I lost my beloved Keshia, a cocker spaniel who shared the joy of her life with me for over 19 years. Five years ago, on May 7 2004, Dr. Moseley made the same compassionate house call for Keshia. I thought my heart would never recover from that loss, but it did, thanks to Sierra. I adopted Sierra four months after I lost Keshia. She was nine years old at the time..an older dog nobody wanted, which made me want her even more. It took a few months for me to win her trust. She won my heart and we have been inseparable since.
My heart is breaking. Please pray for us. These final hours are very precious and private…the last I will share with this beautiful, gentle soul who has given me so much love and devotion. Dr. Moseley will be making the house call tomorrow after 5 PM, unless Sierra indicates she is in pain or suffering today. In that case, Dr. Moseley will come today after 5 PM, but I hope we will have another day to spend together.. while I watch her sleep and remain by her side.. doing whatever I can to assure her she is loved.
As I draped my first sari around my body, my hands moved as if they had performed this wrapping, folding and tucking every day for a lifetime. And perhaps they had, in some previous incarnation. The act of dressing in a sari always brings on an intense deja vu.
Twenty-six saris sit on a shelf in my closet, each beautiful in its own special way. Each was chosen for some unique quality which appeals to my senses. The day I purchased my last sari, I made a promise to myself that I would wear every one of them at least once before leaving this life.
I have worn nine of them. My hands have only to perform the ritual seventeen times more and my promise will be kept. Tomorrow I shall wear the sari with a procession of elegantly decorated elephants, trunks uplifted, promenading across the pallu.
Ms. Possum usually silently creeps up my back stairs after midnight, so I rarely get to see her up close and personal. On this cloudy morning, however, I found her munching on seeds which had fallen from the bird feeder, until my jealous canine companion disrupted her repast. Look at those marvelous ears! …and her pink nose and feet!
The opossum is North America’s only marsupial mammal, carrying her young in a pouch, as do kangaroos. The young stay in her pouch until they are about 2 to 3 months old; then are carried on her back for another 1 to 2 months whenever they are away from the den.
Opossums are solitary and nocturnal, usually slow moving, and when frightened may fall into an involuntary shock-like state, “playing possum”. They may hiss or growl and show their 50 sharp teeth when frightened, but in reality, are gentle and placid- preferring to avoid all confrontations and wishing only to be left alone.
It is one of the shortest lived mammals for its size, typically 2 to 4 years, as they are killed by many predators- dogs, cats, owls, larger wildlife, and sadly, cars.
Technorati ProfileIt has been a long time since I last posted here on Rediff iLand. I have missed keeping in touch with my friends from India. Unfortunately, ominous events in my life have prevented me from maintaining connection here, where I have always found the most loving, compassionate and caring people anywhere on Earth and online.
One always hesitates to share the more disturbing events of life, but in certain instances this can be beneficial to those who have suffered grave injustice as well as to those who believe such things cannot happen here in the USA.
I hope you will read about the way I was dragged from the safety of my flat and taken to a hospital against my will and held for 24 hours under “suicide watch” based upon the most despicable “legal stunt” masterminded by the very surgeon whose negligence destroyed my health and his unethical attorneys. Ever since this incident, I have lived in constant fear of their threat to my safety and survival. It appears they will stop at nothing to silence me.
The Squirrel-Proof Bird Feeder from Lucille on Vimeo. There’s a feisty squirrel in every yard! This one managed to coax a few seeds out of this feeder, but it did prevent his feasting on its entire contents in a single day, as he did with the feeder below, which he treated as his own private feeding station.
I now fill this one with safflower seeds, which birds like to eat, but squirrels do not.
I found a tree stump covered with oyster mushrooms weighing about 10 lb. After cleaning, I photographed them before subjecting them to the frying pan and freezer. They are infinitely fascinating!
The detail photos were taken with the fungi placed on a light box used for reading x-rays.' The vivid colours were obtained with photo editing software.
For the first time in many, many years, I am proud of my country. 
