While baking Christmas cookies last year, I wanted to send something special to a friend from India. I had been collecting decorative tins for months, picking them up at tag sales and thrift shops especially for packing my sweets. I found a lovely peacock tin from Harrod’s. I forget what sort of sweets it held originally, but put this aside to hold the cookies I would make for my Indian friend.
One of my favorite holiday sweets is the 7 Layer Italian Cookie, which takes its name from the colors of the Italian flag. Improvising on the colors, I called my sweets ‘Flagsof India’.
As I sent my package off to my friend (who expressed great appreciation for the sweets and the manner in which they were packaged) I promised myself I would make them again for Diwali in 2008.
I had hoped to bake the Flags of India today. Unfortunately, despite my best effort, I could not muster the strength and energy for the task. Hopefully, tomorrow will grace me with advance Diwali blessings and energy sufficient to transform the ingredients within my kitchen into some delectable treats to share with friends.
The pen bit …. priceless! I could just see (and hear) Dianne as the first pen ran dry and she searched for another while Tigger and Sasha meow “Puurrrr Mommy”, swish their tails and turn up their noses at the 10th kind of gourmet/prescription cat food she’s tried to entice them with that day. I don’t want more birthdays… I would much rather reincarnate as soon as possible and return as one of Dianne’s beloved cats!
Another delightful birthday surprise…
A magnificent Birthday Bouquet from my dear friend Mary Anne, Detail of some individual blossoms- Beauty within beauty, reflecting itself again and again…
Having all the ingredients on hand, I baked a birthday cake, winging it as I went along, as is usual when I am in experimental baking mode. Peter, a ranger atShawme-Crowell State Forest, (where all my favorite mushrooms grow) would celebrate his birthday on the 19th, so I baked this cake with him in mind. I should have measured and written down the ingredients, because this gingerbread-pumpkin-cocoa pound cake studded with walnuts, dried cranberries, dark chocolate chips and preserved ginger turned out to be one of my best experimental creations. Frosted with a thin glaze of dutch & black cocoa, confection sugar, a pinch each of cinnamon, nutmeg, clove, ginger, allspice and thinned down with Marsala and a drop of orange oil…the deep, dark flavor perfectly compliments the not-too-sweet gingerbread richly textured with the addition of the pumpkin. It’s a very October cake.. a Libra cake. My decorating skills are a bit rusty, but passable. (Those are supposed to be mushrooms at the bottom of the cake, as Peter christened me “The Mushroom Lady” when I first began foraging at Shawme-Crowell.)
Sunday afternoon just before the 4 PM “changing of the guards”, I headed over to the State Forest. As I drove through the entrance and immediately noticed the little station was empty and not a vehicle in sight, I realized my mistake. After October 16, rangers are there only certain days and hours, as this is the start of the off-season.
The cake is in my freezer now. I left a message at the ranger station, but if I don’t hear from them by next week, the cake will end up as coffee break fare for the folks at Sandwich and Mashpee Libraries.
The little deck just just outside my kitchen door has been a favorite dining spot of local fauna since I have lived in this flat and began feeding the birds. Birds flit in and out from dawn to dusk. Squirrels and chipmunks come right up to the door, demanding more seeds, more peanuts.. all day long. Wild turkeys have come to feed in the yard below for the first time this year.
Occasionally, a stray cat or one of the neighbors’ pets will stealthily climb the stairs, attracted by all the avian traffic. The felines, though rarely make a return visit, as my dog has “cat radar” and barks nonstop at a hint of a meow. My visitors are so accustomed to me that they never scamper or fly away any more when I cross the threshold from my space to theirs. There is something wondrous about wild creatures accepting your presence as a natural part of their existence.. They bestow a benediction and bless my life with their grace, beauty and joyful antics.
After nightfall, the raccoons wreak havoc out there…clumsily tipping over flower pots and rooting around in the plants for leftovers the daytime diners have overlooked. For a while, I replenished the seeds and peanuts just after dark especially for these hungry critters, until they became overly rambunctious, drawing attention from the neighbors, who take a different view of these visitors than I, considering them as “pests”. Sadly, they prefer television to the real life drama put on by Mother Nature which occurs just outside their doors and windows.
A new nocturnal visitor came upon the scene recently. Late one night, my dog began pacing back and forth by the door, beckoning me to take a look outside. I turned on the dim outdoor light and there was an opossum! He froze as still as a statue the momen he found himself in the spotlight. I had rudely interrupted his sunflower seed snack. I stepped outside and expected him to scurry away. Instead, he remained completely still. Even his eyes were fixed as if hypnotized. As I inched closer and closer, he remained in place.
Finally, when I was about 2 feet away with the camera held just as near, he moved his head slightly and his eyes darted to the side as if contemplating flight. He remained still long enough for me to get a good look at him, and he was a lovely creature! His face was beautiful.. especially his eyes. Feeling guilty about disturbing his meal, I took my pictures and retreated back into my flat, turning off the light. After a minute, he resumed his munching. I will never forget the sight of those dark and beautiful eyes, his delicately featured face, his little pink nose and feet..his white-tipped ears… and his tail! I waited for his return the following evening, but he has not been back..not that I am aware. Who knows how many enchanting creatures visit unobserved by me? I am grateful, though, that this opossum found something worth his venture up my stairs for a midnight snack.
The Black Trumpet is often over looked by mushroom foragers in my neck of the woods. It is easy to overlook these incredibly fragrant fungi because here on Cape Cod, they rarely grow large enough to make them worth hunting. They are difficult to spot on the forest floor because their appearance so closely resembles brown, fallen leaves. They are very thin and fragile and only last one or two days at most before they shrivel up into a hard, coal black piece of debris. What these delicate mushrooms lack in size and substance, they make up for in flavor. The unique characteristics make them easy to differentiate from poisonous types for the experienced forager. I rarely find many of these.. perhaps enough to grace an omelet. The Black Trumpet has an affinity for egg dishes, adding an unforgettable flavour and aroma to a simple plate of scrambled eggs.
This year, I hit the jackpot. I could hardly believe my eyes when I spotted these tiny trumpets emerging from a large patch of moss growing along one of the roads in the state forest. I stopped the car to take a closer look, and there were enough to keep me on my knees in the moss until I picked the area clean. When gathering any mushroom, you should gather them carefully. They should be cut flush with the ground and not pulled. This causes the least disturbance to the mycelium in the soil. Only pull when you absolutely must make a positive identification by some characteristic of the stem base. Proper picking will insure the chances of finding the same mushrooms in that area again and again.
When I first moved to Cape Cod in 1991, I was struck by the stunted growth of the trees. Growing in sand and ravaged by coastal winds, trees do not grow as tall as their inland relatives. At first, I missed the majestic hardwood forests of my former home, but soon learned to appreciate the many natural wonders which can be found only on Cape Cod. Now, when I crave the forest, I need only travel a few miles from home to Shawme-Crowell State Forest , where the magnificence of Mother Nature is always on display. .
I love wild mushrooms. As a child, my father would take me to practice archery at a range by the pond. After, we would wander the woods mushroom hunting. This is where I learned to pick my first edible mushrooms. My foraging repertoire expanded during visits to my grandparents home, when my Tatucci (grandfather) would take me to visit his next door neighbor Henry, or Enrico, as we used to call him. There, in a little shack in his back garden, the most fascinating, mysterious array of fungi were laid out to dry on shelves lined with rough brown paper. I listened carefully to these two old time Italians discuss the many peculiarities of differentiating the edible from the poisonous, as my mind absorbed this information like a sponge.
Five decades later, the knowledge gleaned from my childhood has served me well. I have foraged wild mushrooms with safety and success for many years. Cooking with and savouring these rare delicacies is one of my greatest pleasures. Cooking and eating these delicious gifts from the earth was a pleasure I wanted to share with others. Yet I found most people very reluctant to try my culinary creations, as every year there are reports of people having died from ingesting poisonous fungi. After several seasons of gathering mushrooms at the state forest, the friendly forest rangers finally came to trust my ability to "pick safe" and have become appreciative taste testers of my new recipes. One of the best things about cooking is having other discerning palates to critique my creations.
The “Hen-of-the-Woods” (Grifola Frondosa or Maitake) pictured here is my #1 favorite.
I find myself in an incomprehensible position… a situation real enough to kill me, should I lose my balance on a loosening tightrope. Yet so surreal I sometimes think my death will be nothing more than an instantaneous vaporization of the molecules I call my body. I am dying… we are all dying.
But for most of us, living life prevails over the ever present pull of entropy. This is as it should be. We are born to experience life to its fullest until our death. But like breathing, it is that space between the breaths which sets the tone for what follows.
I do not fear death, nor do I invite it.
I reside in a world full of high tech medical miracles and doctors who perform them. It is, therefore, inconceivable that amidst these doctors and their state-of-the-art 3D scanners capable of turning the human body with its every secret and function inside out; to see how things work or might be fixed when they don’t, that the simple mechanics of what is killing me remains a mystery.
I am dying in real-time, begging at the same-time, to be fixed, or at least, that an attempt be made, before there is no-time.
Doctors.. made of special stuff, or so we think. Different from us. Different from each other. Different.
iLanders who have read my earliest posts may recall my negative experience with cosmetic facial surgery. I was left with serious functional disorders which have progressed to a life threatening degree. I will not reiterate the details here which can be found on my website Losing Face. Put simply, I was blacklisted as a patient by the most competent surgeons here in US after going public with my story. There were a few truly compassionate doctors who tried their best to help me, but not being plastic surgeons, their hands were tied to a great extent.
One of these doctors is my primary care physician. She is from India, and I could not hope for a more highly skilled, kind, compassionate doctor. I had the good fortune to become her patient when she first arrived on Cape Cod, as patients gravitated to her like bees to blossoms. My situation has been deeply frustrating to her, as she does everything within her realm of speciality in seeing that I receive every possible diagnostic that might convince a surgeon I am in need of corrective surgery. However, the politics involved in the medical profession in this country, particularly in the realm of plastic surgery where surgeons’ egos tend to expand to phenomenal proportions and the brethren of this specialty tend to “protect their own”, even when that means allowing patients injured by negligent colleagues to remain untreated for serious conditions.
As my condition has essentially disabled me to the point where surviving every 24 hours has become a toss of fate, and I struggle to accomplish the most needful things to maintain Independency, I literally begged a surgeon I know to be highly skillful and good hearted to agree to examine me. This required months of e-mail communication, and I am certain he agreed to help me against the judgement of his colleagues, who warned him against any involvement with my situation.
After an appointment date was made, I had to see my primary care physician and told her about this long awaited breakthrough. I felt very hopeful that day, and my heart felt lighter than it had for years. This was the first glimmer of hope in an otherwise gloomy state of being. I am rarely able to leave my flat these days, and my monthly visit to my doctor is understandably frustrating for us both. I am acutely aware that my condition has made her feel helpless and my heart aches for her because she is so sensitive to her patients’ distress. On this day, however, I knew our visit would be brighter than she could know. I decided to wear a lovely muted gray-green sari to mark the occasion. I usually dress very simply and plainly these days, as adornment becomes the last of ones’ concerns when all one’s energy is necessary to manage the needful.
As I draped my sari that morning, I worried, just for a moment, that it would not be done perfectly to her eyes! But I am used to wearing a sari, which I believe is the perfect garment for every woman, versatile as well as beautiful. One can wear a sari for every occasion. Dr. Gour’s eyes lit up when I walked into her examining room in my sari. When I told her about the appointment with the surgeon, the room felt full of hope.. my hope of possibly being restored enough to live a normal life, and her hope for me.
She then began the practical part of her exemplary doctoring and gently but firmly reminded me of the possibility that things might get worse if I have surgery and asked if I was prepared for that. We discussed the status of my health, and again expressed her happiness about the appointment.
Then she said something that will stay with me forever.. just recalling that moment fills my eyes with tears of great emotion. She pressed her hands together in namaste and said “I will pray for you”. I do not know if this beautiful ex-pression of faith and hope is often spoken by Indian doctors to their patients, but this is the first time a doctor ever said they would pray for me. I was overwhelmed with her heartfelt ex-pression of caring. Her words and compassion went from her heart to mine will remain with me always. I have had doctors who expressed true compassion and a deep desire for my well being, but never have these words been said, and hearing them expressed with such openness and sincerity, one heart to the other, is truly the most special medicine my exceptional doctor could have provided. Prayer…a treatment to last a lifetime. On my way out of her office she turned to me and said “Thank you for wearing the sari”. I left there with my heart so full! May your life be rich in blessings, Dr. Gour.
Japanese police have arrested two Greenpeace activists for exposing a whale meat scandal involving the government- sponsored whaling program. The two activists, Junichi Sato, 31, and Toru Suzuki, 41, are being investigated for allegedly stealing a box of whale meat which they presented as evidence. Sign the petition
Thanks to my lifelong friend, Charles, for this entry- lifted from his blog The Big Matress.