mahiya's blog

“What seems to be the problem?”

Immediately, Banta held his long face down without anything to say. On
the other hand, Preeto began talking 90 miles an hour describing all
the wrongs within their marriage.

After 10-15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counselor went over
to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately for
several minutes, and sat her back down.

Afterwards, Preeto sat there - speechless. He looked over at Banta who was staring in disbelief at what had happened.

The counselor spoke to Banta, “Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!”

Santa says to the Banta, “Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalog?”

Banta replies, “Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price!”

Santa says, with wide eyes, “Wow, they aren’t very expensive. At this price, I’m buying one.”

Banta smiles and pats him on the back, “Good idea! Order one and if
she’s as beautiful as she is in the catalog, I will get one too.”

Three weeks later, Banta asks Santa, “Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the catalog?”

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce,
chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned
everything up, but, he, “made the dinner.”

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.

Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See “Magician.”

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn’t coming out anytime soon.

Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of
contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say
“focus,…breath…push…”

Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of
your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear…!

Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, “to go somewhere and
neck.” After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and
slide.

Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also “tranquilizers.”

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry,
shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.